So now that ya'll know I'm getting Married... I need your help!

[Morr]

I need your advice and thoughts AND tips! ;)


Bride: Me!

Groom: semicivilizedman!

Date: October 31st (ceremony) / November 4th (reception)

The Theme: Gothic Victorian.

The Budget: Is... Well... Lets stick to making it as affordable as possible LMFAO


Here is the problem.
I dont know how to approach this! I have a million and one things rushing and roaming in my head when it comes to planning this! I dont know where to start!

We are looking at 6 months (more or less) till our wedding (assuming that all will go well and ON TIME with the Fiance Visa deal...). Seeing as I will be in the US next month visiting, I want to begin getting things done and planning, going to Bridal stores and scouting out reception sites.

What I need is thoughts on cool Halloween/Gothic Victorian themed ideas... And most of all, ideas as for how TO SAVE MONEY and keep everything at an affordable level... And if anyone knows of a not very expensive, that wont send us into a major debt as newlyweds, reception site in the Phildalephia region, please let me know!

Also, if anyone has any experience with US Fiance Visa process and applications -- Please let me know! I am curious as to how it works, what they DO NOT approve people on, how long the process takes, etc... I am a bit antsy about that. I hope we will make it by October 31st. I have always wanted it to be my wedding date!

Thanks!

:boing:

[Kalika]

Pick one thing and start with that.

You already have a "theme" which is good.

Invitations, flowers, your dress, bridesmaids, groomsmen, vows...

Just take one thing at a time, tackle that, and before you know it, you'll be done!

_pounce_

Congrats! :D

[Mishka]

Lists, lists and list of your lists.

http://www.usimmigrationsupport.org/

http://www.official-green-card.org/?af=OGOU_en_106

Don't know if that helps at all.

As far as places to have the reception...anyone amongst family and friends members of an Elk Lodge or FreeMasons or something? Those lodges usually have a big room and an area to serve drinks available. But you've got to know someone to get in and use it. At least that's my understanding.

Affordable bridal gown? What's "affordable"? Mine was on clearance so I got it for $500 or less, can't remember, that was a dozen years ago. Maybe an antique store might have something you'd like. It might not be the traditional white gown but it doesn't sound like you're having the traditional wedding.

I look forward to hearing the rest of your plans. Have fun with them. That's most important.

[Chesna]

If you are having a theme and are one of those types that could care less about keeping your dress for posterity sake or whatever..try a costume shop?? they may have a dress that may fit your budget and you dont have to worry about how to store it. as for decorations..if it will be on 10/31..then scout paper warehouse stores..they will have Halloween themed stuff that is cheap. Don't do invitations until you know for sure the day is set..there is nothing worse than printing them and they are wrong. Tap family and friends with talents- ie cake baking, music, catering ect..

I hope this helps!!

Chesna

[Morr]

Well, I'd like to keep it no more than $500... I found a brilliant dress at first, but it was well over $900 reaching the $1000 line mark.... I found another brilliant Alfred Angelo dress... It is about $650...

I'm thiniking I'm going to scout out for off the rack dresses, maybe find a gem in there for cheaper...

I think I got a ceremony site down... Going to check it out next month too... Its in Ridley Creek State Park. Its absolutely beautiful!

The reception place is what's bringing me down -- Those are SO expensive! I dont really know anyone well enough like you mentioned, Mishka.. I am thinking we'll go for a sort of informal reception, since its going to be our friends who'll be invited. But I dont want it to be just a backyard type reception, I want a BIT of fancy-ness... And Halloweenish feel too!

If I can find a cheap rental hall of sort, then get a caterer, I think that will be best... I always wanted to get married in a Mansion LOL but those are uber expensive.

I figure we'll do the fancy party/reception for our anniverssary or vow renewal ;)

[Morr]

Oh, and I want all red and white roses, I'll probably get those from a whole sale florist and make the boquets and floral arrangements myself with my bridesmaids!

[Lunacie]

This site has some great ideas - from wedding dresses to treats to decorations to entertainment - the whole package. I wish I lived near enough to come and do readings for the reception, that sounds like lots of fun. http://www.westchester-weddings.com/wedding_ideas_halloween.asp

This one has a wonderful idea for having a flower girl/boy carry a hollowed out pumpkin and throw autumn leaves instead of flower petals. http://www.theknot.com/ch_article.html?Object=A20123183540&channel=realweddings&keyword=UNIQUE%20WEDDINGS


This page has Halloween wedding invitations: http://www.tinytidings.com/halloween_wedding_invitations.html
http://www.tinytidings.com/images/rest_in_peace_wedding_invitations.gif

Hot Topic at the mall used to carry some really cool yet inexpensive dresses. (I haven't been to the mall in about a year though.)

[Lorrie]

Take a deep breath and prioritize, what is most important first and so on. Having a few months to work with will also spread the cost! The advice that I gave to my daughter- she didn't believe me until it dawned on her during her reception- things that are meant to be have a way of working themselves out if you let them, you know that this is meant to be, so everything WILL work out! Trust in that, let the Ancestors help you also, they love a good party!!!! Relax and let it all happen, enjoy this happy time in your lives.:wave: Good luck, Auntie Morr!!!!:lol:

[Chesna]

For cheap rental halls..try VFW's or Lions or American Legion Halls..they are usually pretty cheap and if you are willing to do clean up yourself..they may even take some money of the cost..

Chesna

[aislin_ryann]

For our flowers, we got them from a craft wholesale place and made all of the deocrations, bouquets, and boutineirs ourselves. And by using artificial, we had them made up in advance. ;)

For decorations at the reception, we used lots and lots of balloons and the extra fake flowers. We spread the petals on the tables and scattered them on the floors.

My dress I picked up at an outlet store, but it was simply amazing. My mother made my veil for less than $20 and I picked up my shoes in the late spring after the schools were done with their spring dances.

At our reception, our mothers made the food. I am aware your situation is quite different than ours and it may not be possible for it to happen. But we had turkey and ham and potato casserole and things like that for the food. It kept it alot cheaper. I don't know how many people you are having, we had 350-375 people at ours, but food can get expensive. We had a friend DJ for us, and that was cheaper than hiring someone.

I don't know how much of a help I have been, but good luck! :hugz:

[Morr]

Thank you so much! I appriciate the ideas and links!

*hugs*

[Shanti]

I didnt know you's guys were getting hitched!!!!
Morr and Semi...I'm gonna cry, how wonderful ...hugs and hugs for you two. This is so great...happy, happy days!!!

[Morr]

I didnt know you's guys were getting hitched!!!!
Morr and Semi...I'm gonna cry, how wonderful ...hugs and hugs for you two. This is so great...happy, happy days!!!


LOL aww Shanti!

Yes we are, we decided on it when he was visiting me here in Feb... and he posted a thread about it a few weeks back here on MW.. in Just Talk.. Its title "Morr" :)

[Mishka]

Unitarian Universalist church? Bet they wouldn't mind the unique theme.

Check out free cycle in your area and local papers for a gown as well.

[eldora_avalon]

My brother got married on Halloween and the wedding party and family were dressed as different characters from the Adam's Family TV show.

I agree with the VFW halls, they will be the least expensive. Most restaurants that do take out will do trays of food. You can get all sorts of stuff or even just have stuff to fix sandwiches. You shouldn't have trouble finding that sort of thing in Phillie.

You will find Goth dresses of all sorts at Hot Topic, online they are hottopic.com
I just looked and they don't have any fancy dresses listed, but they might have some in the stores. They will stock up before prom season, so check back.

[Kalika]

Well, I'd like to keep it no more than $500... I found a brilliant dress at first, but it was well over $900 reaching the $1000 line mark.... I found another brilliant Alfred Angelo dress... It is about $650...

I'm thiniking I'm going to scout out for off the rack dresses, maybe find a gem in there for cheaper...

I think I got a ceremony site down... Going to check it out next month too... Its in Ridley Creek State Park. Its absolutely beautiful!

The reception place is what's bringing me down -- Those are SO expensive! I dont really know anyone well enough like you mentioned, Mishka.. I am thinking we'll go for a sort of informal reception, since its going to be our friends who'll be invited. But I dont want it to be just a backyard type reception, I want a BIT of fancy-ness... And Halloweenish feel too!

If I can find a cheap rental hall of sort, then get a caterer, I think that will be best... I always wanted to get married in a Mansion LOL but those are uber expensive.

I figure we'll do the fancy party/reception for our anniverssary or vow renewal ;)

If you were having the wedding in a place where the weather would be mild... you could have the reception outside. :) Maybe. Think, free! Or, at least park rental is usually fairly inexpensive....

[semi]

Morr, I told you I'd get you the dress that you want, even the one that cost a thousand dollars or more. This is not a problem. And the reception sites we looked at are fine, also not a problem. Please don't stress about this. We don't have to get everything as inexpensively as possible. We only need down payments in May, and that won't be a problem, and by the time Oct comes and everything has to be settled up, it also won't be a problem. Please don't stress about these things. Everything is ok.

[Chesna]

Morr, I told you I'd get you the dress that you want, even the one that cost a thousand dollars or more. This is not a problem. And the reception sites we looked at are fine, also not a problem. Please don't stress about this. We don't have to get everything as inexpensively as possible. We only need down payments in May, and that won't be a problem, and by the time Oct comes and everything has to be settled up, it also won't be a problem. Please don't stress about these things. Everything is ok.

AHHHHHH Isn't that sweet!!! You go Semi..take care of her!!
Makes me want to fall in love....wait..i have my man...*sigh* love is a many splendored thing!!

Chesna

[Morr]

I know everything is okay, sweetheart.

I just want to explore all options. Besides, saving money where possible never hurt anyone!

Also, getting advice and ideas from people here cant hurt either ;)

[MysticWitch]

My fav wedding things are...

Dollarstores because you can buy:

Tea light candles,

center pieces (or make em)

cups, plates and utensils, (even REAL ones, not the paper kind)

I love the sheer fabric that people wrap around x-mass lights. Its beautiful and very inexpensive.

White x-mass lights are a nice way to jazz up a wedding even a gothy one. :D

[DragonsChest]

*hint hint* If you want a very unique cake topper, I can do you a gothicy themed dragon couple for your special day. My rates are very reasonable! :weirdsmil

(I have a pic of the first cake topper I did on my website, and when I get this second one finished - I'll post it, too...)

[Morr]

Very awesome Dragonchest, Thank you!!

semi says he will contact you about it :D :D :D

[Jolixte]

This lady makes some really pretty gothic dresses: http://www.jeannienitro.com/BoneChurch.htm

[equinox2]

Congratulations!

Hey, I may have some experience that is useful to you.

First, my wife and I got married by our wedding party in a ceremony we built ourselves. It's here in case you'd like to check it out:
http://www-personal.engin.umich.edu/~leta/EWedding.htm

UU ministers will generally do wedding ceremonies anyway you want. We had to go to the county clerk and file a special letter and such so as to be allowed to marry without an official minister. So you can either go the UU route, or check the laws in PA, or something else.

Clubs like rotary may provide cheaper halls for the reception. Also consider checking UU churches - they usually have halls that they are happy to rent out.

You can find the UU churches/fellowships near your location using this link:
http://www.uua.org/CONG/index.php

I found that a lot of businesses rip off people getting married because they know you are busy. For instance, I priced a wedding cake at $300, then had a friend call back and ask for the EXACT SAME CAKE, but not for a wedding - you guessed it, $90. Same goes for napkins, decorations, champagne, DJ service, etc. Also buying cheap stuff like silverware is often as cheap as renting, then you can sell or use the stuff.

Good luck!!

[MysticWitch]

Oooo..
These are cute!

[Gwenhwyfar]

I dont have any ideas for you yet, but just wanted to say, your wedding sounds like its going to be really great, you and semi are both so original, its bound to be awesome! Congrats again :)

[Morr]

Thanks everyone for the advice!

And thanks Joli, I will check out some stores that carry her stuff over in NY and PA!

[DragonsChest]

Very awesome Dragonchest, Thank you!!

semi says he will contact you about it :D :D :D


:cutie:

[Sage Rainsong]

Congrats again you two! Im sure that you will be very happy together. I found a sie with some money saving tips: http://wiki.ehow.com/Save-Money-on-Your-Wedding-Ceremony-and-Reception.

You could try to find stuff for your wedding at GothAuctions.com. Oh also there is a book called Handfasting & Wedding Rituals by Raven Kaldera and I believe that it features a gothic wedding as well as some other very interesting ideas. It may be worth a look.

Oh, I hope that you have the Goth Victorian wedding of your dreams Morr. Good luck with everything and best wishes. Ah I love it when love blooms here on MW!!

[Morr]

Thank you Sage! :D

[DragonsChest]

Sent you a PM, semi. :weirdsmil

[LacyRoze]

Oh, oh, oh,,,, I just remembered,,, for cheap halloween decorations and large bags of candy try here....http://www.orientaltrading.com/otcweb/application?namespace=main

[Morr]

Oooo! Thank you!

[LacyRoze]

Oooo! Thank you!

You are most welcome!!! They also have wedding supplies....

[JamieL]

Congratulations on your wedding!!! My husband and I had a unique wedding. We were married at midnight the day that our astrological signs met. (I'm a gemini, he's a cancer. So we got married June 21/22) It was all very inexpensive. i think we spent less than $600 on the whole thing, but ours was very laid-back. If you want a traditional white wedding dress I have one that has never been worn except to try on. Very pretty. I'd be willing to sell it for $200 or so (was $500 when I bought it). Size 12, no alterations. But if you're looking for something more fit for your wedding date, I'd try ebay. Might sound weird, but you'd probably find a lot of things for a reasonable price.

I would suggest going to dollar stores (or the one's that aren't dollar stores but have it in their name. hehe) and you would be able to get a lot of nice looking things for only a couple dollars each.

Are you guys planning a honeymoon? Just curious on where you would want to go if you could.

Anywho, congratulations again! I thought the proposal pictures were great!

May you guys have a long and loving marriage!!_inlove_