stalker problem

[Bryony]

I'm not sure if this is the right place to put this... But it involves my family and they're not pleased...

This guy in my building has absolutely no social skills or friends, and I was trying to be nice to him. We got to be friends, then he started to call me incessantly. If I don't answer the phone the first time, I get a call almost every five minutes until I DO answer (I have my phone set to ring four times then go to my voice mail, and sometimes that just isn't enough time to drop whatever I am doing and get to the damn telephone to answer it).

This guy is getting verbally abusive (phone conversation didn't go the way he wanted it to, he said something to me involving four letter words I am not going to use here then hung up on me). Then he had the gall to call back, which I didn't answer. I am getting emails that make little to no sense every day, and he gets upset when I don't reply to every single one. I just quit replying altogether.

A few days ago he called me to admit he had a "little crush" on me, and has gone around to my friends and asked if he has any chance with me AFTER I told him there was no way I was interested.

I wasn't answering my phone, and he got online and harrassed one of my friends until the friend called my mom to make sure I was okay....

I'm frustrated and mad, and currently am recovering from sinus surgery so this may or may not make much sense due to the drugs.

Any suggestions? I am going to have my dad call him and tell him to buzz off...

[Lunacie]

Use caller ID and an answering machine to tape his calls and prove he's the one calling. Print out the email messages from him. Ask your friends to go with you to the police station and file a complaint. Get a restraining order. Report him to the cops every time he pesters you so that they get tired of him and do something to make him stop. Take this seriously, please.


Oh, and stop giving out your phone number and email addy to strangers. :hugz:

[RunningBear]

Google the words - stalker dealing - will give you plenty of links containing good advice. Most important I would think is report it to the local police and keep detail records and recordings of all events to have as evidence.

[Bryony]

He wasn't a stranger! HE LIVES IN MY BUILDING. And WAS my friend, or so I thought. Honestly, I'm not a little kid.... I know better than to do that. He got my phone number from someone else. BOTH of my phone numbers. To date he only has my junk email address, thank goddess...

Edited to say: I live on campus. The actual police laugh if you call them about anything, then refer you to campus public safety, who do squat.

[eldora_avalon]

Look through your handbook or any rules you can find online for your school. He has broken a rule somewhere and you need to keep talking to people until you get someone who will listen. Get yourself a tape recorder that can tape phone calls. If the law allows, every state is different, tape every phone call. Some states you have to let the person know they are being taped.

[Lunacie]

He wasn't a stranger! HE LIVES IN MY BUILDING. And WAS my friend, or so I thought. Honestly, I'm not a little kid.... I know better than to do that. He got my phone number from someone else. BOTH of my phone numbers. To date he only has my junk email address, thank goddess...

Edited to say: I live on campus. The actual police laugh if you call them about anything, then refer you to campus public safety, who do squat.

Then talk to your advisor. Talk to your dean. Talk to the president of the uni. Make a stink.

I didn't mean to make you feel like a child. It's so sad that we have to be cautious about making friends.

Find out who gave him your phone numbers and tell them that if they do that without checking with you that you'll shove a phone up their...

[Kalika]

Change your number and block his email.

And, if he still harasses you... (especially in a verbally abusive way!) get some sort of restraining order.

[Hope]

Well clearly there is more to this...

Contact your phone company, they will tell you how to deal with harrassing calls, you can dial in a code after the call (even if you dont answer it) you will have to agree to follow thru.

there are MANY ways to block people online, again it is up to you to be clear and follow thru

and if your "friends" are giving out your information they aren't really your friends

if you live on campus you contact your advisor etc

the reality is you need to be clear on all fronts

love
hope

[Antoninus]

The good news is that guys like this are usually not going to do anything to hurt you. They wont do anything to damage the object of thier obsession.

I would take Lunaice's advice. Document EVERYTHING. Make coppies of everything and give it to friends just incase.

Start with the campus police. If they do nothing, take it to the regular police. Just keep working your way up the ranks untill you get someone who will listen to you.

You can also goto the dean and tell him he'll have a lawsuit on his hands if he decides not to do anything

[Hope]

The good news is that guys like this are usually not going to do anything to hurt you. They wont do anything to damage the object of thier obsession.



that is simply untrue

love
hope

[Antoninus]

that is simply untrue

love
hope
I said USUALLY. There are cases of guys who figgure "If I cant have her, no one can" but thats not something thats common.

[Hope]

This is why you should get help from professionals, and set a clear standard across the board; so that your safety is not compromised by myth or hope.

love
hope

[RunningRiot]

I would always say, "Try getting you and your dad to have a firm sit-down with the guy, and explain things calmly and honestly."

If not, call the cops.

[Calen]

Like others have said, document as much as you can of what he is doing. Go to the dean, and remind them of their responsibility for your safety while on campus. Tell him you have evidence of the abuse.

We know you ddn't ask for this. Some people are just trouble. Good luck, I hope you get this fixed up soon.

[Bryony]

I think it is resolving.

At least he finally has it that I AM NOT INTERESTED IN DATING ANYONE right now.