Just needed somewhere to whine for a bit

[-Ember]

So, in about a week and a half I turn 25. Birthdays being one of those things that spark self-evaluation, I'm more than a little down. I don't feel like I'm really anywhere in my life. There are a lot of pretty major holes that I just don't know how to even begin to work on. I don't know what I want or where I'm going with it. I used to have goals, and they've just all kinda evaporated. For good reasons... they don't really fit who I am now. But I haven't replaced them either. I don't know what I want... I just feel like I'm lacking and I'm not even clear on what, just that something is missing. I'm not happy with where I am in my life and I'm not really headed anywhere with it.

In a lot of ways I feel like I'm past the best times of my life. Which really sounds sad at my age. And it isn't like jr high/high school/university was all that great. Or really, good at all. But at least I was going somewhere, doing something, felt like there was some purpose to the things I was doing. I had goals. I was achieving something. And now I just try to make ends meet, work a crappy job I don't dare quit because it was hard enough to get it, and sit at home trying to decide if it worth getting up when I just don't have anything to do.

I'm not even sure what advice I'm asking for or if I'm asking for any. Just needed a place to whine for a bit.

[MysticWitch]

:hugz: I know how you feel. But you are not old. Sit right now and pretend you are 40 years old. Now think about your thread and how you are going through these emotions at 25 years old. I bet your starting to feel like wow Im pretty young. I have so many years more to grow and achieve what it is you choose to do in the future. Even at 40, there is always time :hugz:
:D

[-Ember]

I think probably the hardest part is that I know chronologically I'm not old. Well that, and that I know in comparision to many I don't have much to complain about. I do have a job, I am pretty much making the bills, I'm on good terms with family. But what good is having potentially several decades to do what I want when I just don't want? I feel like I'm lacking something, missing something but there isn't anything I WANT, no desire really other than to just find something to patch over the fact that I just don't have much enthusiasm for anything.

I just don't know how to have fun anymore... I'm not happy alone in my own head and I don't know how to play nicely with others. And I'm tired. I've never really been young and I don't know how to even begin to try to be young. I hung out with middle-aged people, was more a peer with them, from about 10 yrs old on. So by that I am in a lot of ways more 40+... just without the experience for it. And I lack all the stupid kid stuff and all the experience to even be the age I am. There are a lot of ways the average 15 yr old has lived more. So I'm too old and to young for my age peers.

[MysticWitch]

:hugz: Your a wonderful person. Never judge your self based on how other people have been successful in their lives. The grass is always greener on the other side. You probably have it better than some people who you think have done better than you have. :wave:

[Little Billy]

So, in about a week and a half I turn 25. Birthdays being one of those things that spark self-evaluation, I'm more than a little down. I don't feel like I'm really anywhere in my life.

Anyone who knows what they want to do and be by the young age of 25 should have their head examined.

Anyone who has ACCOMPLISHED these things should be given the bastinado, for being a friggin' show off.

[Kalika]

:hugz:

You say you have holes... why not plant trees? ;) Every void presents an opportunity to put something worthwhile and meaningful there.

Just because you don't know what you want right now... doesn't mean you won't. There is no "magical number" (as in age) at which you figure that out. Some people know sooner rather than later... some never truly figure it out, but just enjoy the ride that life presents to them.

:hugz:

Each day should be the "golden days" of your life. If you make each day something special... it will be.

[Kalika]

So I'm too old and to young for my age peers.

People your age are overrated. :) Meaning... don't limit yourself.

You want to have fun and be a kid... have fun and be a kid. Go out with the 20, 21 and 22 year olds. There are those much older than you or I who do it.

You want to be an adult, have intellectual conversations, share activities...? Find a group that likes to do the same things. They are out there.

You can figure out how to play well with others along the way... or not. :) Some people never learn, and are still happy for it.

[Sun Sprite]

I can relate, almost all my friends have kids my age, and I am 32. Sadly, my body decided to be even older than my mind, meaning it is about 65. Don't let your health slide into that hole! Get your bone density checked, then find something you are interested in, and work for it, whether it be animal rescue, fighting some disease, or helping familes less well off who truly want help.

Best wishes,
Sun Sprite

[BlackMagicalCat]

Aww,bless your heart Ember.

Well,Im 47,and I will be 48 on the 12 of April.

My life is more than half over.I dont know how many days God will give me nor when he will call me home.But Im looking to spend eternity with him,and I will leave this world,and all its trouble,behind.And I wont look back either.

So I see life as a journey,Im walking down a road,and Im trusting God to guide me.Life is temporary,so make good use of the time you are given.
Thats why I spend time with God praying,and blessing others,and trying to understand what Im supposed to know.(I hope Im right ,LOL)
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One day when I was at my alter praying,I heard an inner voice,,,,and it said very gently-What do you want?

A week latter I heard the same voice,What do you want?But I didnt know what to say.So I thought about it for a few weeks.Then ,the third time,I heard the same thing,What do you want.?This time I was prepared to answer.

I told God I wanted him to hear my prayers,and at least consider them,when I lifted others up to him .Others who were in need.Because if he didnt listen to me,or if he didnt hear me,my prayers were spoken in vain,no matter how lovely they may sound.And I knew they would not all be answered,but I asked God to look,and consider the request.I recieved assurance that he would hear me,and that he was pleased with my answer.

I have a hole in me to,but it was filled by God,and the rest was filled by the Goddess.I know christians are saying there is no such thing as a Goddess,but I feel loved by her.

I hope this helps,and I will surely pray for you friend.
You are greatly loved of God.:hugz:

[Londubh]

Why are you so damn hung up on chronological years and milestones?

You are a witch. You should know by now that the universe does not really act in accourdance to the stupid timeline humans have deemed "right". In fact, it thumbs it nose at it. WHY do you have to have x accomplished by y to have meaning in your life? Are you really feeling that big of a need to conform to society? You haven't fit into society thus far, why should you start now? You are not a cookie produced by a cookie cutter. Stop make yourself miserable over that you are not statue quo and on the middle of the bell curve. Because if you were, I know for a fact, that you would be just as miserable.

You know what you need to accomplish right now? You need to figure out what you want, and that's all. This will probably not happen by next week, or even next year. Enjoy what you are right now, not what you will/could be. If you keep trying new things and you might figure out what you want. You will probably figure out definately what you don't want, which will at least narrow the list of things you could want. :lol:

Do something nice for yourself everday, and then be grateful to yourself that you did it. Give yourself some credit.

[smckim]

You have said that it was good when you were in school, you felt you were doing something. Well... why not take some college classes maybe some night courses, challenge yourself with something new, and who knows maybe
you will meet some new friends there.

[-Ember]

Thanks all.

And I do get what you are saying. It isn't like I expect to really know what I want yet or that I'm as worried because I'm not the same as people around me. It is more that I just don't feel ANY direction or feel like I've got ANY goals while feeling like I'm not where I want to be. I'm not really excited about anything anymore and I don't know how to change that. I just kinda lack enthusiasm for just about everything, and I used to be passionate. And when I look back over things I've got to wonder what what I've been doing with my life that I am where I am...feeling like I'm not anywhere or doing anything or enjoying anything.

And I can't pinpoint what I can change... It seems like everything is wrong. For example, I can figure out I'm lonely but I feel at least as lonely around others as alone. The things I have enjoyed I don't have the means for or the space for and I'm pretty broke which limits exploring new things...especially when I'm just not finding them interesting enough to persue.

[-Ember]

You have said that it was good when you were in school, you felt you were doing something. Well... why not take some college classes maybe some night courses, challenge yourself with something new, and who knows maybe
you will meet some new friends there.

It wasn't so much that it was good...just that I felt I was doing something, working toward something. And that doesn't apply so much anymore... I've got my degree. It just isn't enough to justify the expense. Also I have been looking at some of them and I'm just not excited by the ones I can take and I've yet to do one of the community ed classes that is intellectually stimulating/challenging.

[-Ember]

I'm not going to apologize (the title does say "whine") but I did want to say that I'm not dismissing the advice of those that posted. I'm just kinda down, and when I get in that spirial everything just gets overwhelming and/or dark/lacking enthusiasm or interest. Everything I try just seems to reinforce the blues.

My real question should be how do you find enthusiasm/interest when you get in a rut like that? Anything other than just riding it out? Or anyway to speed the process?

[Kalika]

My real question should be how do you find enthusiasm/interest when you get in a rut like that? Anything other than just riding it out? Or anyway to speed the process?

Sheer force of will.

:p