kindergarten rules?

[tarotgirljess]

My daughter is 5 and about to start kindergarten this year. she has already started telling me i never let her have friends ect ect wanting to ride the bus alone ect. So my Question is this:
What boundries and such do you set for your 5 year olds? are they allowed to go to other people's houses without you? are they allowed to be alone and go to the park? what rules do they have to follow?
I'm trying to find the line as to wether i am protecting her or OVERprotecting her.
Many thanks
Jess

[Ceres]

It depends on the kid. MY youngest who is five right now wouldnt be allowed anywhere without me because he doesnt look out for himself. He doesnt pay attention to traffic and he talks to strangers.

When my oldest, now 12 was five, I let her go around the block without me and to visit with people I knew without me.

My middle child is extremely cautious and wasnt outgoing at five (he sure is NOW) and so I let him do what he was ready for so as not to increase his anxiety.

I didnt let any of them go to the park without me until they were eight or nine and then only if they were with a buddy with instrauctions they were to stay together.

[MysticWitch]

A 5 year old? Are you kidding me? Any mother who lets their 5 year old go to the park and walk around by them selves shouldn't be a parent. Even a 7-8 year old shouldnt be at the park alone. This is a sick world ya know.

[LacyRoze]

My daughter is in kindergarten this year. As she's a very shy girl, talking to strangers isn't a problem with her. I drive her to school as all grades ride the same bus here and I have heard the mouths of the high schoolers and well, there's just some words a 5yr old doesn't need to know. I allow her to go to friends houses, with me escorting her there, only if I have met and gotten to know the parents. Alone to the park? Never!! She goes no where alone.Even when my children go outside to play I keep a close watch on them. You never know who's driving down the street just waiting for the opportunity. I don't feel I'm being overprotective in any way. I am cautious. There are too many perverts in this world we live in.

[Sequoia]

A 5 year old? Are you kidding me? Any mother who lets their 5 year old go to the park and walk around by them selves shouldn't be a parent. Even a 7-8 year old shouldnt be at the park alone. This is a sick world ya know.
Yeah, I think I'm with you on this one. Unless you live in UltraSmallTown50s, USA, it's really not a safe thing to do. Even then, there were sick people in the 50s.

With regards to letting your 5 year old go home with a friend, I'd say that it was okay if you already knew the friend's parents, and if she called you as soon as she got there. Pre-arrange everything, ya know?

But children under the age of... gosh, about 10 or so, really shouldn't be allowed to run out free-range, wherever they please. It's just not a safe world out there for them to play in unsupervised and untraced.

[WillowsMuse]

Hi Jess,

I would not let Bain (he will be 5 on Beltane) go to a friend's house without me unless, a/ I was friends with the parents, or b/I had each parent's name, rank, serial number and ran a background check. Okay, maybe not all that, but I would certainly talk to both parents (or any adults in the house) and watch the way Bain interacts with the other kid and try to have the other child to our house first before I let him go alone and I would start slowly, hour at a time, etc. NO WAY would I let Bain go ANYWHERE unchaperoned without me.

[eldora_avalon]

My son is 5 and he is in kindergarten. He might be again next year, but that is another story. He is way too friendly and though he understands the concept of what a stranger is, he doesn't understand that anyone he doesn't know is in fact a stranger. He doesn't go any where alone. My husband or I go with him to the park.

He has gone to apartments in the same building alone. This building is in an el. If he is outside, I can see or hear him from inside. I don't worry too much if there is a bunch of kids out there, they are all 7 or younger and loud, so I can tell what is going on. If they are being too loud or too quiet, I sit outside. If he goes where I can't see him, I go get him.

He rides the bus, but the oldest kids are 3rd graders. That is all that is at his elementary school, K through 3, so that is cool. They also have some sort of program that pairs up kindergartners with 3rd grade buddies. They do little projects together and had a party together for Thanksgiving.

A lot of it depends on your neighborhood. This is the time nosey neighbors can be good. The last time we were at the park there were some kids there alone that were my son's age, turns out they live right across the road, so it probably wasn't as big a deal as it seemed at the time.

[tarotgirljess]

Thanks guys!
I don't feel like a mean over protective mom anymore. She is way to talkative with strangers and as far as she's concerned if she's seen you twice and knows your first name you aren't a stranger anymore. thank you forr the feedback!
Jess

[Sun Sprite]

I agree, I don't have kids, but five is awful young to be going anywhere by themselves. If they have a friend next door, or across the street where you can watch them get there safely, sure. Just remind here, is isn't her you don't trust, it the unknown untrustworthy people out there!

Of course, I remember wanting to walk to school in kindergarten, but the snakes were in my own home, so I wouldn't have recognized another if it had reached out to bite me. I just wanted time to myself! I seriously doubt your daughter has to worry about that!

[Sage WindMoon]

Absolutely no way would I let my kids out on their own at 5. I have a 9 year old and a 4 year old, and I still don't let the older one go places alone - aside from the neighbor's house.

Yes, she complains about it sometimes, and claims I don't trust her. But it's not her I don't trust, and it's my responsibility to keep the two of them out of harm's way (so far as it is within my power to do so).

[Yvonne Belisle]

Sadly it just isn't safe to do that. I wish it was it would mean a much safer world for all of us to live in. Sometimes to keep our kids safe we have to really tick them off :(

[Broken Babydoll]

I agree. To a certain extent it depends on the child and your community.

We live in a very tight-knit neighborhood. There are only 17 families here altogether. We all know each other very well. All the kids play together, even the ones that don't really care for each other. (heh.) We're really lucky that way. But at 5, I would no way have let my child wander the neighborhood without someone older there to watch out for her.

I on the other hand was allowed to go to my friends houses, spend the night, walk there, etc... by myself when I was 5 year old. I was a very cautious kid and all my friends lived within a few houses of me. *shrugs*

I guess it really depends on what both you and the child are comfortable with and how reasonably safe the area is. I'd be inclined to think that for the most part most 5 years olds aren't ready to face the world alone for any amount of time or space.