The Mother's Curse

[HetHert]

Has anyone ever had to survive a toxic Mother-Son relationship. My husbands mother and he have a VERY strong psychic bond. She is mentally unstable and very toxic when she is so. When she is like this she yanks on that invisible umbilical cord and this causes my husband to experience very costly and damaging accidents. We're not talking your regular everyday spilled milk style accidents but ones that come with bodily damage, large sums of money, and broken valued items...

Their relationship has always been a toxic one, deeply codependent and self-serving on her part. For her he has become the knight in shining armor. If its money he would do whatever he could to help her, even while sustaining mental and emotional abuse. Her mental instability even forced him to break away from her and move out without her knowing and basically leaving her destitute for lack of any other way to proceed with any life of normalcy.

Because she's just as entrenched in the metaphysical world it makes it a bit more difficult because even as unstable as she is she and he have deep psychic bond.

My questions are has anyone ever survived the mother's curse with effective results...could be mother-son, mother-daughter, MIL-DIL...etc, I just need help with how to deal with her? What are ways that he and I may work on warding ourselves from her destructive energy? How can I support my husband who has the worst position in this sense that he knows its toxic but doens't know how to sever the cords that are so strong?

Any help would be great... Any ideas, stories, please share. I need some help!

[HetHert]

Visha asked: Does he recognise there is a problem?

Yes he is aware of the problem. He fully admits it and tries, bless is heart, but moves in the past made to sever their bond have amounted to her calling him and re-establishing herself back into his life. He has a heart of gold and she knows this...she banks on it. I feel like such a crass beeeatch sometimes because he's such a "goodguy". But I can't relent on this one. When she taps on him now it affects both of us...he changes back into an old pattern that we work hard to break but she knows just the right buttons to push to get the response she wants...and she wants him to suffer as she is.

[Willow Rosette]

My X husbands mother was alot like that, Except he couldnt get away from her physically to see that there was a problem. I think if he wants things to change you could do a ceremony and literally have a cord that symbolises the emolicial cord and have him sever it. I would make it a think braided or wound cord something that looks as close as possible to the actual imbilocal cord you are wanting to sever. Also announce out loud that her actions no longer have any effect over your lives. For me I have had to do a ritual several times to remind myself that this person has no control over me. As long as I know the ritual is fresh I remember it. I hope that helped honey. :hugz:

[Willow Rosette]

Visha asked: Does he recognise there is a problem?

Yes he is aware of the problem. He fully admits it and tries, bless is heart, but moves in the past made to sever their bond have amounted to her calling him and re-establishing herself back into his life. He has a heart of gold and she knows this...she banks on it. I feel like such a crass beeeatch sometimes because he's such a "goodguy". But I can't relent on this one. When she taps on him now it affects both of us...he changes back into an old pattern that we work hard to break but she knows just the right buttons to push to get the response she wants...and she wants him to suffer as she is.

Try calling your phone company and blocking her phone number. Id do everything possible to not let her get ahold of him. That way when she does try she will be met with ever resistance possible. Maybe he just needs to stand up to her too and say no more?? I know it can be hard to push a person out of your life when you love them. But maybe for him to move past her emotionally he needs to do just that.

[HetHert]

My X husbands mother was alot like that, Except he couldnt get away from her physically to see that there was a problem. I think if he wants things to change you could do a ceremony and literally have a cord that symbolises the emolicial cord and have him sever it. I would make it a think braided or wound cord something that looks as close as possible to the actual imbilocal cord you are wanting to sever. Also announce out loud that her actions no longer have any effect over your lives. For me I have had to do a ritual several times to remind myself that this person has no control over me. As long as I know the ritual is fresh I remember it. I hope that helped honey. :hugz:

You and I think alike! What you described is EXACTLY to the last detail what I suggested to another friend of mine. She thought that it was a little harsh and I waivered upon it thinking it a bit extreme but then again the damage that this woman does when she taps on him can be so costly.

Interesting note: As I was typing this a spider just crawled up on the arm of my loveseat. We don't usually see house spiders since we live in an apartment that sprays for bugs so I'm seeing this as an omen of some sort. Just don't know what sort of omen it might be...:)

[HetHert]

Try calling your phone company and blocking her phone number. Id do everything possible to not let her get ahold of him. That way when she does try she will be met with ever resistance possible. Maybe he just needs to stand up to her too and say no more?? I know it can be hard to push a person out of your life when you love them. But maybe for him to move past her emotionally he needs to do just that.


Ironically her utility bill is in his name because she has such crappy credit that she couldn't get electricity without him. I just talked to him and he said he's thinking that he should just have it transferred to her name solely or have it cut off completely and just begin severring her from our lives. I'll suggest to him your proposal about blocking the number, since this too is yet another way for her to contact him and her main method of relaying her insanity.

[Willow Rosette]

Im not big on spiders but I believe they are messages of wisdom. Maybe you have hit on an answer and she is telling you that it is a wise move. Thats why she is called Grandmother spider. If he will do it I would do the ritual as well. The symbolism would help alot. Maybe someone else will have more advice for you too.

[HetHert]

Im not big on spiders but I believe they are messages of wisdom. Maybe you have hit on an answer and she is telling you that it is a wise move. Thats why she is called Grandmother spider. If he will do it I would do the ritual as well. The symbolism would help alot. Maybe someone else will have more advice for you too.

:hugz: Thanks for your help, VM. I think this may be the right course as well.

I'm still open for other ideas or anyone else who may have anything to add.

[Amythyst]

A Mother's Curse...


Interesting note: As I was typing this a spider just crawled up on the arm of my loveseat. We don't usually see house spiders since we live in an apartment that sprays for bugs so I'm seeing this as an omen of some sort. Just don't know what sort of omen it might be...:)

You are caught in a web. I know, because you and I are going through the same type of thing-- the dreaded mother-in-law.

When I have more time, I will fill you in on the mother-in-law from hell. She takes being mean to a whole new level.

[Willow Rosette]

You are caught in a web.

I would think that if she was making a web there in front of her. But because she was walking I would see wisdom. But I think that is a great idea too.

HH what does your intuition tell you???

[HetHert]

A Mother's Curse...



You are caught in a web. I know, because you and I are going through the same type of thing-- the dreaded mother-in-law.

When I have more time, I will fill you in on the mother-in-law from hell. She takes being mean to a whole new level.

Hmmm thats an interesting take on it. I think that its possible that the spider may represent both. With the spider totem as positive force it can bring the great wisdom of Grandmother spider, but part of that wisdom can be learning when to see webs of deceipt which are so indicative of this woman. She can spin stories and lies to fit her agenda without missing a beat. I think that also the spiders web is representative of the cords and strings that bind our lives and in that sense it could be an omen that its time to look at these strings that are binding and the web that she spins and cut ties with them as best we can.

I look forward to your insight Amethyst!

And Visha, I talked with my husband and told him of the cord cutting and he is willing to try anything. So I think we're going to be going to the store on my next day off to fetch the materials unless I can find them here at home! :)

[Willow Rosette]

Im so glad he is willing to participate. I also thought of a suggestion a friend gave me. Im also having issues with getting rid of a nasty person I dont want in my life. She suggested making a window wash out of crushed Dragons Blood and Copal. It will allow the positive enrgy to come in, push the negative enery out and block it from comming it. Although I just realised I baught charcoal burning resin lmao. Not sure if it was the right stuff. But I know she said to use those two together with spring water (bottled water). Good luck honey. Keep us updated.

[HetHert]

Im so glad he is willing to participate. I also thought of a suggestion a friend gave me. Im also having issues with getting rid of a nasty person I dont want in my life. She suggested making a window wash out of crushed Dragons Blood and Copal. It will allow the positive enrgy to come in, push the negative enery out and block it from comming it. Although I just realised I baught charcoal burning resin lmao. Not sure if it was the right stuff. But I know she said to use those two together with spring water (bottled water). Good luck honey. Keep us updated.

Oh this is getting weird. My husband was just made priest in his tradition and as part of the gifts he was given copal and dragons blood resin. I don't believe that they come in any other form than in a resin. So you may just need to crush it up and add it to the water then allow the water and the resins to sit overnight or perhaps for a mooncycle.

I'm gonna try making the wash and see what happens. If worse comes to worse could just sprinkle the combined resin dust in front of the windows and doorways.

[Willow Rosette]

Oh now that is too funny. Does the stuff you have say resin or charcoal resin? I have no idea what the difference is. But she said to grind it up in a morter and pestle and put it into the spring water. If she comes on Ill ask her if it desolves or something cause now that I think about it if it doesnt that would scratch the windows. I havent had a chance to use mine yet so Id love to know how it works for you. If I see her on before I hear from you Ill let you knwow what she says about it. I was pretty tired when she told me.

[HetHert]

My stuff just says resin on it but the instructions tell you to use it with charcoal. I researched copal and it only comes in one form...Itself. Its not manufactured one way or the other so copal is copal is copal. I would say your good to go with what you have.

[Willow Rosette]

I hope so my copal says Native American Sacred Resin Incense and the Dragons blood says Mystic Temple Charcoal Burning resin Incense. Both give burning dirrections. I think I might crush some up and burn it tonight. Cause well to be honest who knows when my windows will really get washed lmao.

[Willow Rosette]

I crushed up the copal and dragons blood put them on top of a charcoal block and lit them. It was a very cool thing to watch. The D.B. bubbled and became like a solid droplet. On top of that they smell absolutly devine. I just wish I could figure out why my charcoal keeps going out.

[HetHert]

I crushed up the copal and dragons blood put them on top of a charcoal block and lit them. It was a very cool thing to watch. The D.B. bubbled and became like a solid droplet. On top of that they smell absolutly devine. I just wish I could figure out why my charcoal keeps going out.

I'm going to do the same here as soon! :cheers:

[Willow Rosette]

Ohhhh you will love it. Although I had to put it outside cause it got to be to big once it got going and I didnt want to set off the smoke detectors. But I did it for a friend who needs some strength and protection and so the wind took it and was wonderful. It kinda made me feel strong and protected too. It was wonderfull.

[Lorrie]

I am so afraid of being that way towards my kids that they finally yell at me, I wait for them to call me, I am so afraid of driving my kids crazy like so many moms do. They get mad sometimes. But that's OK, as long as they get mad at me NOT bothering them, I know that I'm not driving them crazy! I have always tried to raise my kids by looking at how I felt when I was that age, and I have stayed close to my kids so I must have done something right, they are wonderful adults and both chose spouses that I adore. My DIL I think had a rough one in the beginning, my son would always say, well my mom did things this way, I felt bad for her so I made sure to compliment her every chance that I got so she would feel more secure about it! I hope that I will never be that way towards them, or towards their kids either! When the grandbabies are here, I do things the way THEY do, no matter if I agree or not, I raised my kids, this is their family to raise. He-he, as we speak I am getting an earful from my mom on IM mad at my dad again!!!!! I'm the only one in the family that will listen to her because she drives us kids all nuts..........need I say more?:lol: Yesterday I saw my daughter come online, a few minutes later my mom signed in, and my daughter immediately disappeared. I don't really mind it, my parents are always there for me, and I am for them but not nearly as much as they have been for me! I can't do much to change my parents, so I just try to make sure to break the cycle with me!

[Willow Rosette]

Oh Lorrie how sweet you are. :hugz:

[Lorrie]

I read somewhere that a good ward is cayenne pepper mixed with sea salt across the doorways, not sure if this is quite what you need or not, it can also be sprinkled across someones tracks or path to discourage them. I have used it at the end of my driveway( I am an antisocial hermit in real life). The next day a neighbor was trying to walk up my driveway for something, I never found out what, he would walk up to about the spot that I sprinkled the stuff, he would stop and look around like something was scaring him, he kept walking in and out of the driveway looking confused, then finally gave up and left. Yes, I sat and watched him do this giggling to myself. He is a very nice person, don't get me wrong, it was just quite entertaining to watch the whole thing! Um, .....I will go back to my nice safe quiet little corner now and giggle at the memory of it._inabox_ .

[HetHert]

I am so afraid of being that way towards my kids that they finally yell at me, I wait for them to call me, I am so afraid of driving my kids crazy like so many moms do. They get mad sometimes. But that's OK, as long as they get mad at me NOT bothering them, I know that I'm not driving them crazy! I have always tried to raise my kids by looking at how I felt when I was that age, and I have stayed close to my kids so I must have done something right, they are wonderful adults and both chose spouses that I adore. My DIL I think had a rough one in the beginning, my son would always say, well my mom did things this way, I felt bad for her so I made sure to compliment her every chance that I got so she would feel more secure about it! I hope that I will never be that way towards them, or towards their kids either! When the grandbabies are here, I do things the way THEY do, no matter if I agree or not, I raised my kids, this is their family to raise. He-he, as we speak I am getting an earful from my mom on IM mad at my dad again!!!!! I'm the only one in the family that will listen to her because she drives us kids all nuts..........need I say more?:lol: Yesterday I saw my daughter come online, a few minutes later my mom signed in, and my daughter immediately disappeared. I don't really mind it, my parents are always there for me, and I am for them but not nearly as much as they have been for me! I can't do much to change my parents, so I just try to make sure to break the cycle with me!

:hugz: You are the epitome of the exact opposite of my MIL... That you recognize that you don't want to encourage your son to compare and go out of your way to make your DIL feel that she is special in her own right and capable in life is wonderful.

[HetHert]

Ohhhh you will love it. Although I had to put it outside cause it got to be to big once it got going and I didnt want to set off the smoke detectors. But I did it for a friend who needs some strength and protection and so the wind took it and was wonderful. It kinda made me feel strong and protected too. It was wonderfull.

I just burnt some as well and walked around the house smudging with it as I went. I too had to take it outside as the smoke got to be a bit much for my apartment and I have smoke detectors that are entirely too sensitive.

[Willow Rosette]

Lorrie the cayanne thing is a great idea. I think Im going to put it around my apartment and my parking spot to help keep us safe.

My X mother in law was pretty bad too. She always told my x husband I was sent by the devil to take him off his path (they were jahova whitnesses) but he was already off it when I met him lmao

HH my friend said she has never had any problems with it on the windows.

[DreamSpell333]

My mother in law likes to try and get money out of my husband..Im home with my daughter,he works and my mother in law works AND gets a pension from her deceased husband..now she makes more than he does.. She wanted money to get her brakes done .we had just gotten our taxes done,and she comes holdin her hand out..wtf?? my husband gave her 100.00 out of 200.00 that she wanted..then last week she said she needed 200 because she spent the 100..i told him NO WAY..I told her we had bills to pay,the cable..so she backed off.. We live with her..we give her rent money,grocery money every 2 weeks,and pay the cable..my husband takes me out,we pay a few bills..i figured it out..he has about 100 or so for himself for 2 weeks... which covers gas etc.. we are starting to put our foot down,or tell her it comes out of the rent money we owe her... I wish you good luck!

DS

[HetHert]

Unbelievable

The woman called her son today and accused him of breaking into her home and stealing stuff!!! He hasn't been to her place since we had to go there to tell her to pay her electricity bill last week and she was there the entire time we were. AFTER she called us and at 1am Saturday morning to tell us that she was trespassing and the cops were taking her. The when we called her back an hour later she wouldn't answer phone...it went strait to voice mail like she was avoiding us! We had to call the jail on Saturday morning to find out that she hadn't been processed so we knew that her animals would be ok.
OMG she's a nightmare!

Needless to say my husband just asked me how we could block her number on the phone...we will be looking into that once we get home from our respective jobs.

She's such a peice of work and I know that deep down this is really doing a number on my husband because he genuinely cares about her even though she manipulates and treats him so badly!

[LadyKaty]

Don't mind me, as I sit here taking a deep breath, and just STEAMING on your behalf.

Get the book "Toxic Parents". And "Toxic In-Laws". Those will help.

In the meantime? www.motherinlawstories.com

There's a message board. Very helpful, lots of nice ladies with good advice.

[Amythyst]

www.motherinlawstories.com

There's a message board. Very helpful, lots of nice ladies with good advice.


Thank you, thank you, thank you...this site was made for me!

[HetHert]

Yes that site is GREAT! Thanks for the responses and the PM's that I have received. Thanks especially for the support because sometimes it is hard and sometimes its even harder to reach out for it!

Thanks all you guys! :hugz:

[Kaltenia]

My mother-in-law to be (yay!) is actually the normal one. It's my own mom that I have problems with. She was abusive to my brothers and I when we were kids, and now when I'm old enough to defend myself, the control starts up. And to make matters worse, my SO's family and mine are coming to visit us and they will meet for the very first time. My SO's mom has been the one helping me deal with the past with my mother, and thanks to her, I feel like I can be in control again. But now with them meeting?? I'm not so sure, LOL!

I've been having a rough time as of late, I'm bipolar (which my mom knows nothing about, but my mother in law does) and it's been affecting my grades to the point where I'm not going to be graduating this semester as I had planned. So that stresses me out on top of all the other crap going on, and my mom. I am so nervous about this whole thing, I swear. But my MIL and SO have been wonderful. :cheers:

[Willow Rosette]

Ohhhh Kaltenia :hugz: to you honey.

HH Im always here for a pm if you need me. I had a Jahova's Whitness as a mother in law. LMAO it was like WWIII So I do understand.