Personal cycle of the sabbats

[Kendrah]

For me, in my practice of the sabbats, they have felt a bit shallow in the personal arena. Let me see if I can explain myself.

The sabbats have their traditions and mythos (beltain you dance the pole to symbolize the god and goddess getting their thang on. ;)) which is a very fun holiday. Sun Sol is about the sun at it's peak and honoring it. Etc. The mythology of these aren't lacking in any way. I'm not saying that.

I haven't been able to translate these mythos into inner, self-reflective practices. (On some cosmic level, yeah, I am. We like screwing around, we need it, it creates furtility which is good.) I am also yearning for some transition or something in the times between sabbats. In our traditions (and I think as a whole) there is a very simple personal cycle for the sabbats; spring is for planning, summer putting your nose to the grind stone, autumn for reaping, and winter for looking back over the year.

I just want something more. I want the sabbats each to relate to me on a personal spiritual level and I want there to be some trasition, something I can follow or work with inbetween.

I want it to be more then on the lesser holidays you work for what you want and on the high holidays you reap the benefits of such works. I want something more spiritual then the "me, me, me". I get that with the esbats.

Does any of this make sense? I'm a little drunk. ;D

[Silvan]

Does any of this make sense? I'm a little drunk. ;DNot really, but then I'm already past drunk and into hung over.

[Kendrah]

Not really, but then I'm already past drunk and into hung over.

;D Oh, come on! Everything seems spiritual when you're drunk. Right? Right?

[Silvan]

;D Oh, come on! Everything seems spiritual when you're drunk. Right? Right?Huh? Did you say something? Throbbing, oh, the throbbing. I can't believe I drank the whole thing.

[cheddarsox]

Well, I'm not drunk, but it makes sense to me. I call it hungering for authenticity.

In my experience, I don't really, can't really "get" the holidays, unless I practice them, celebrate them and make them my own. As they become traditions in my own family life, and as I take time to create ritual and prepare, the deeper meanings and connections come to life for me.

Certain holidays have become more important for me, and some years certain ones shine more than others due to what I am experiencing in my own life.

I also celebrate some "in between" holidays that celebrate aspects that are important to me.

My ritual/holiday year is very personal, and very revealing. Sometimes I learn the most by customizing a holiday, other times I learn the most by celebrating something that I don't really feel, but by honoring it anyway...and playing along, I grow in understanding and appreciation.

I do not belong to a trad that uses the same emphasis and names for the solar holidays as Wicca. We have holidays on many of the same days, but that does not mean they are neccessarily the same thing.

Sometimes I feel like I am being pushed to be "paganically correct", because the mainstream is to "Do it like the Wiccans", and present a united front to the non-pagans around us. That bites!

I can only grow when I allow the holidays to speak to me and teach me what the traditions have to offer, and when I am open to adding my own authentic practice of them to the traditions as well.

I don't "force" holidays, but I try not to shy away from them either. I sort of let the ones that don't "do" much for me, wash over me, I try to stay open to their possibilities. I also find that as I age, certain ones become more meaningful to me, and others fall away in importance. And then, some become more meaningful again. There seems to be some personal cycles I am going through as I journey through the stages of my life.

cheddar

[Silvan]

;D Oh, come on! Everything seems spiritual when you're drunk. Right? Right?SPIRITual. As in "spirits."

:yayah:

Anyway, I guess I'm not grokking what you're on about here because I don't really experience any yearing for "something more" between the waypoints I mark off on the calendar. I'm always aware of what the sun is doing, and the sun is what influences me the most. Sun makes me happy. An absence of sun makes me sad. I feel the change every day. I build up in happiness from Moonwane to Sunwane, and I build up in sadness from Sunwane to Moonwane.

See
http://mysticwicks.com/~arborvitian/wheel.png
for a depiction of these Rundlefets. The points in time should be familiar to you, if not the names. (You can learn enough Applebeech script to read the names here:
http://www.omniglot.com/writing/applebeech.htm
if you're so inclined. They're named after what the Sun or Moon are doing. Moonwane, the moon is about to lose dominance. Moonquarter, which is about now (what most Pagans call Beltane), the moon is down to only one quarter dominant, and the sun is almost at its peak of dominance, which is also the day after which everything turns and starts gradually getting all crappy again. Sigh. It marks the official start of Arborvitian Summer, even though the last frost date isn't past yet where I live. Arborvitian seasons are rotated one quarter of the wheel counterclockwise relative to Mundane seasons. Moonwane (Yule) is Midwinter, not the first day of Winter, etc.

The outer ring surrounding this thing is suggestive of how I feel about the contiuum of change. It uses gradients of color to gradually transition from one season to the next, and at any point along the way, save the four places where I have arbitrarily broken it, the season is always a little bit of what came before, and a little bit of what is coming next.

I mostly only pay attention to the light side Rundlefets, because of the feeling of "oh boy, I finally got here!" and I mostly nod at or completely ignore the dark side Rundlefets because of the feeling of "damn, where did the good times go?"

Is this in any way related to the yearning you're talking about for something in between, or are you and I just so totally on different wavelengths that I should give up trying to make up for last night's poor performance, and just leave you in peace now? :D I know I'm not a mainstream Pagan. That's why I've created Arborvitianism in the first place; so my Path has a name too. (I'm gradually getting the stuff ready to go fully public with my big web description of all this nuttery, so I won't have to feed it out in random bits and pieces anymore, and people will be able to take in WTF I'm talking about at a glance.)

I hope that pain in your side thing is getting better.