spiritual path confusion...

[inthefall]

i'm confused about my spiritual path. i'm drawn to paganism in general, & i feel a strong connection to nature (trees, dirt, plants, birds, animals, etc) & the sky (esp. the moon). yet i'm also strongly drawn to mary (the virgin, the mother) as a goddess to pray to. drawn to rosaries and prayer candles and crosses and holy water, etc. however, i'm not drawn to jesus, god (in the christian sense/belief), organised christian religion, etc. i have no interest in reading the bible or joining a church or even calling myself a christian on any level.

i don't even know why i'm posting this here or what i'm trying to ask. i guess i just need to talk it out and try to make sense of it.

:awilly:

thanks for reading or any input given.

x.h.

[Laoghaire]

This could have been my story...

Indeed, I know what you feel, I really do. I love nature, the Goddess and the God. Next to that I adore Mother Mary. Mind me, I never say the Virgin. That's one part of Christianity I cannot believe in. As a matter a fact, only Marry draws my attention. Mm, and also some saints... Their histories are so fascinating.

I think I found a reason why I like Christianity so much. At this moment I call myself a witch, but sometimes I find it difficult being a witch. "Do whatever you want if it feels right..." I heard it many times before. But I find it difficult to follow this "rule". Christianity is "easy" in that way. Stand up when the priest says that, when you pray you say these words,... Easy, you don"t have to think about what you're doing. There are rules, if I may call them like that...

But, I'm happy being a witch. The past few weeks I found a new balance between myself an witchcraft. And still, Christianity is still a very big part of my life. I collect *blush* pictures of Mary with Christ... (Yes, you may say I'm crazy ;)) Next to that my family (both sides) loves Mary. It's like an old tradition here in Belgium... We pray allot more to Mary than to Christ. We have much songs only for and about Mary...

*whispers* I still like it to light a candle for Mary. Just to say, I don't forget you, you're still very special to me... And that's no lie... For me my Goddess is sometimes Mother Mary...

I hope I made myself clear... This is not easy!

[Agaliha]

i'm confused about my spiritual path. i'm drawn to paganism in general, & i feel a strong connection to nature (trees, dirt, plants, birds, animals, etc) & the sky (esp. the moon). yet i'm also strongly drawn to mary (the virgin, the mother) as a goddess to pray to. drawn to rosaries and prayer candles and crosses and holy water, etc. however, i'm not drawn to jesus, god (in the christian sense/belief), organised christian religion, etc. i have no interest in reading the bible or joining a church or even calling myself a christian on any level.
i don't even know why i'm posting this here or what i'm trying to ask. i guess i just need to talk it out and try to make sense of it.


I have the same issue.
You might want to read my thread here: Anyone have any advice...? (http://www.mysticwicks.com/showthread.php?t=130089)
We have many of the same things in common. I'm drawn to churches (Catholic), rosaries, Mary, Sophia, and all of that. But I want no part of mainline/modern Christianity and Catholicism. At all.
I believe I was a nun or pious Catholic in a past life and for some reason it's coming though.
In my thread linked above people gave me some good advice, it may apply to you too. Don't let people tell you your wrong, follow your path and see where it leads you.
I was worried what it all would mean-- my feelings, I have no desire to join the Christian faith intellectually, but emotionally I have a draw to it. I'm drawn to the Gnostic/Pagan/Mysticical side of Christianity, so I am open to that aspect. (There are many other paths in Christianity that aren't the main-line ones, ie Mysticism, Gnostic, Christo-Pagan, etc)
You can honor Mary, Sophia, Magdalene or any other "Christian" deities without being Christian. I believe they transcend the boundaries of religion (I honored Hindu gods without being Hindu, for example). Meditate, pray, listen your your heart and don't question it all (overly question it all that is)
Anyway, if you ever want to chat, let me know-- we're in similar place with all of this.
Also, if you like the Roasry (I love it), there are other prayers you can do:
http://www.mysticwicks.com/showpost.php?p=2125427&postcount=3
These links might be helpful:
Christian, Hebrew and Gnostic Goddesses links (http://www.mysticwicks.com/showthread.php?t=103102) (links to info about: Mother Mary, Mary Magdalene, Asherah, Shekinah, Pneuma)

[shuvanilu]

Nice links. Thanks for those:cheers: ---shuvanilu

[CleftOfLight]

Don't over think such matters.Follow your intuition.

[Laoghaire]

Don't over think such matters.Follow your intuition.

Nothing personal, but I truly hate that last sentence... Everyone keeps saying it, but there are few people who really understand that following your intuition is not that easy. Not for me for example. I always keep thinking; "What if..." It isn't easy so ignore that little voice in my head. And yes, I'm a happy witch.
But I still have difficulties with following my intuition. Always afraid to do something wrong, to use the wrong words... Same with this "problem". In what way can I follow my intuition when I'm confused, just like inthefall is?

And, once again, this is nothing personal!!

[Agaliha]

Nothing personal, but I truly hate that last sentence... Everyone keeps saying it, but there are few people who really understand that following your intuition is not that easy. Not for me for example. I always keep thinking; "What if..." It isn't easy so ignore that little voice in my head. And yes, I'm a happy witch.
But I still have difficulties with following my intuition. Always afraid to do something wrong, to use the wrong words... Same with this "problem". In what way can I follow my intuition when I'm confused, just like inthefall is?
And, once again, this is nothing personal!!

I totally agree. Following intuition is hard at times, especially with something like faith. Some have a real soild grasp on thwir intuition, but some don't.

In my case I do follow my intuition, but it leads to millions of more paths and I start traveling down them only to lose my way, if that makes sense. It's a chain reaction thing. I just never know what's the path and place I'm supose to be when I'm pulled in a million directions. I believe it was my intuirion that lead me to all those places and things, so following it doesn't always garentee a one shiny clear answer.

[CleftOfLight]

To be honest,I never think what if,about anything so I guess just following my first impulse comes easy to me.
AS far as learning different spiritual paths,I think that is good.I did the same and I do like many other religions suck as buddhism,Islam,shinto,Jainism,Judiaism,Stregha,Etc,etc.
Maybe you should just sit down with yourself,with a pen and piece of paper and say hey,what do I actualy beleve about God,Jesus,faith,abortion,anything and everyting you can think of.I think that will be a good exercise.I think it would help.Just try not to over think your answers whatever is the first impulse is usualy right.

Hate is such a strong word,but don't worry I wont take it personel.It gave me a chuckle.And I know you know I only ment well.

I hope I helped in one small way.
Many blessings to you all.

[inthefall]

thanks everyone for the advice, links, help, hugs, and karma pokes. :hugz:

i still have a lot of reading, thinking, and experiencing to do. :)

thanks again.

xoxo.
hayley.

[Athene]

i'm confused about my spiritual path. i'm drawn to paganism in general, & i feel a strong connection to nature (trees, dirt, plants, birds, animals, etc) & the sky (esp. the moon). yet i'm also strongly drawn to mary (the virgin, the mother) as a goddess to pray to. drawn to rosaries and prayer candles and crosses and holy water, etc. however, i'm not drawn to jesus, god (in the christian sense/belief), organised christian religion, etc. i have no interest in reading the bible or joining a church or even calling myself a christian on any level.


You do not sound at all confused; you appear to know what makes sense to you, or simply feels right. You also know what does not feel authentic.

The thought that you are confused might come from the modern age need to have a label or named path. Labels, named paths, specific groups, established religions, and so on, make us feel safe, give us a sense of identity and certainly make it easier to communicate online. But they are superficial layers. They can also be extremely limiting - if you call yourself witch, Christian or Heathen, without proper exploration of those paths, you push yourself into a corner of which it can often be hard work to get out.

My belief is that we should be authentic to our personal Soul and relationship to the Sacred. Feeling true to yourself and feeling the Love from Godde/Universe/Great Spirit brings fulfilment, not a defined path.

[Athene]

Nothing personal, but I truly hate that last sentence... Everyone keeps saying it, but there are few people who really understand that following your intuition is not that easy.

I understand what you mean.

Perhaps the process of learning to understand and love that sentence, rather than hating it, is part of the process to learning how to work with your intuition?

You are right that 'following your intuition' is not easy. I believe that to get to the place where you can recognise, discern, trust and follow your intuition is a matter of serious spiritual work for most of us. in general, we are not raised in cultures where our intuition is valued - reason is our prized faculty.

One way to begin is to know your Self, and this takes time. If you are 25 or under, by sheer fact of time on earth and avaluable experiences, you might still be in the process of discovering who you are - but many are in the 40's+ and just beginning that journey. The point is, it takes a journey, but it's available. We all have intuitive abilities, it's a matter of meeting them.

[ViolinGoddess]

Christianity is "easy" in that way. Stand up when the priest says that, when you pray you say these words,... Easy, you don"t have to think about what you're doing.

On the contrary!!! If you're not thinking about it, you're not a real christian. Religion is not something to be "going through the motions". You HAVE to participate. Otherwise, you're not being genuine about what you believe. I hate it when people don't think about their religion! They go to church because they've always gone to church. ANd because they're bringing brownies for the Men's Group or coffee hour. It's just stupid!

Violin Goddess

[ViolinGoddess]

i'm confused about my spiritual path. i'm drawn to paganism in general, & i feel a strong connection to nature (trees, dirt, plants, birds, animals, etc) & the sky (esp. the moon). yet i'm also strongly drawn to mary (the virgin, the mother) as a goddess to pray to. drawn to rosaries and prayer candles and crosses and holy water, etc. however, i'm not drawn to jesus, god (in the christian sense/belief), organised christian religion, etc. i have no interest in reading the bible or joining a church or even calling myself a christian on any level.

Well, what draws you to Mary? (is it on a Goddess level? Is it historic?) What draws you to rosaries, prayer candles, crosses, and holy water? (is it a ritualistic thing?) What do you feel is missing in Jesus/God? Why don't you want to read the Bible?

Violin Goddess

[Vigdisdotter]

Have you looked into Christian Gnosticism?