Zelan
May 28th, 2006, 06:21 PM
I wasn't sure if I was going to post this.
Last night, we had a farewell getogether for my brother.
He has left for Duncan today.
There is a fury of emotions in my head about this, and it's not like I can't make sense of it.
In fact the reason he is leaving is because an opportunity to be more of a significant part of his son's life has presented itself.
He's been hoping for this for 2 1/2 yrs! (that's how old little Noah is!)
Now, I know a lot of fantastic people, I/we choose amongst the very best to surround ourselves with, in part because our little family knows first hand how shitty life can get, and one of the biggest lessons we've learned is that; friends are family, and they are what makes life the gift and blessing I think it was meant to be.
Some of the things I've seen him deal with over the past few years, and especially where it concerns his son...
I don't know what to say, he has truly a father's heart
and anyone who knows him can say the same thing, nearly without equivocation.Especially since that is something we ourselves did not have. (xcept for those who had great families to grow up with.)
and even then, people like that acknowledge that in him.
You see, for him, Noah is all he thinks about, and his love for him has lifted him clear out of an apathy that at times has threatened to envelope him. And I am privliged to have seen this miracle first hand.
I am very proud of him and happy for him.
I know that we will not be apart for ever, It was the same when Leigh Anne (sis) met the love of her life, a man full of wisdom, gentleness and light.
She left to be with him like 6 yrs ago and has grown into the most impressive woman I've ever known.
I guess I just miss them.
And the emptiness I feel is just that now he won't be a daily part of life.
We have been to hell and back together and no-one can know apart from us, how far we've all come.
From the bandaged wrists, the family court, the darkness we all of us once embraced in hopelessness, the long nights in the hospitals, the depression that nearly drove us apart in times past, the herculean effort to strive past the bullshit we all made and the help that came seemingly unconditionally, which was no small effort.
The funerals, the reconcilliations, man! there's so much I scarcely know what next to write.
But, for the grace of G-D, we are still here.
And this is my emptiness;
those who know me best, must now go.
It feels so stupid. Years after the tempests have subsided, the storms still threaten over the horizon.
So many memories...plenty of good ones too though.
So many crossroads...when we each had doubts to lead us
so many times...when we couldn't see how we could make it.
And so many times...when we celebrated life together.
Because for some reason, hope was never far from our hearts for one another.
That, is what we know of each other.
Last night, we had a farewell getogether for my brother.
He has left for Duncan today.
There is a fury of emotions in my head about this, and it's not like I can't make sense of it.
In fact the reason he is leaving is because an opportunity to be more of a significant part of his son's life has presented itself.
He's been hoping for this for 2 1/2 yrs! (that's how old little Noah is!)
Now, I know a lot of fantastic people, I/we choose amongst the very best to surround ourselves with, in part because our little family knows first hand how shitty life can get, and one of the biggest lessons we've learned is that; friends are family, and they are what makes life the gift and blessing I think it was meant to be.
Some of the things I've seen him deal with over the past few years, and especially where it concerns his son...
I don't know what to say, he has truly a father's heart
and anyone who knows him can say the same thing, nearly without equivocation.Especially since that is something we ourselves did not have. (xcept for those who had great families to grow up with.)
and even then, people like that acknowledge that in him.
You see, for him, Noah is all he thinks about, and his love for him has lifted him clear out of an apathy that at times has threatened to envelope him. And I am privliged to have seen this miracle first hand.
I am very proud of him and happy for him.
I know that we will not be apart for ever, It was the same when Leigh Anne (sis) met the love of her life, a man full of wisdom, gentleness and light.
She left to be with him like 6 yrs ago and has grown into the most impressive woman I've ever known.
I guess I just miss them.
And the emptiness I feel is just that now he won't be a daily part of life.
We have been to hell and back together and no-one can know apart from us, how far we've all come.
From the bandaged wrists, the family court, the darkness we all of us once embraced in hopelessness, the long nights in the hospitals, the depression that nearly drove us apart in times past, the herculean effort to strive past the bullshit we all made and the help that came seemingly unconditionally, which was no small effort.
The funerals, the reconcilliations, man! there's so much I scarcely know what next to write.
But, for the grace of G-D, we are still here.
And this is my emptiness;
those who know me best, must now go.
It feels so stupid. Years after the tempests have subsided, the storms still threaten over the horizon.
So many memories...plenty of good ones too though.
So many crossroads...when we each had doubts to lead us
so many times...when we couldn't see how we could make it.
And so many times...when we celebrated life together.
Because for some reason, hope was never far from our hearts for one another.
That, is what we know of each other.