In dire need of courage to be myself

[Rosana]

Inspired by November's Rain and some experiments I've taken on, I've reconsidered what does it mean to be myself. And here's another problem - I lack courage to express my opinions, my personality, to act, dress and say what I'd like. I just wonder too much about how people perceive me.
I plan to work on this in the coming months and I seek some inspiration (in forms of affirmations, inspirational quotes, stories, words, rituals, correspondences etc.). As far, I came up with sodalite for self-expression, runes maybe, writing on my DoS about any experiences/thoughts I might have during the work, and I collected some wonderful poetry and inspirational words.

Any help is much appreciated! :wave:

[semi]

A lack of courage implies the presence of fear. Why do you fear doing these things? Is there something you stand to lose if you do these things? I think there is more to gain than to lose. I would be more afraid of NOT doing these things.

You mention people's perception of you. That's completely up to them. It's their choice whether they like you or not. But how can they like you if they don't know you, if you never express yourself? By not expressing yourself you're sort of setting yourself up to not be liked as much as you would be if you opened up and expressed yourself. People with confidence, or at least seeming to have confidence, are generally seen in a more positive way than those who tend to be more shy or insecure. So by not expressing yourself you're decreasing the odds of favorable perceptions by others.

But why do you care about how they perceive you? Not everyone is going to like you no matter what you do. That's ok. Just live your life, be yourself, be happy with yourself. Your perception of you is really the only perception that matters. Every other perception is just someone's opinion. Take 'em or leave 'em. But don't let the negative perceptions get to you because it really doesn't matter. Attitude is everything.

One of my favorite quotes is by Aleister Crowley. "Every man and woman is a star." None of us is better than anyone else. We are all beautiful and ugly in our own ways. Just be you. There's nothing to lose. But there's a lot to lose if you never open up and be yourself.

Kind of rambling, sorry. I hope some of this helps.

[mtpathy]

Inspired by November's Rain and some experiments I've taken on, I've reconsidered what does it mean to be myself. And here's another problem - I lack courage to express my opinions, my personality, to act, dress and say what I'd like. I just wonder too much about how people perceive me.
I plan to work on this in the coming months and I seek some inspiration (in forms of affirmations, inspirational quotes, stories, words, rituals, correspondences etc.). As far, I came up with sodalite for self-expression, runes maybe, writing on my DoS about any experiences/thoughts I might have during the work, and I collected some wonderful poetry and inspirational words.

Any help is much appreciated! :wave:


I agree with semicivilizedman,"A lack of courage implies the presence of fear. Why do you fear doing these things? Is there something you stand to lose if you do these things? I think there is more to gain than to lose. I would be more afraid of NOT doing these things".
Simply looking to find inspiration,working in your BoS,and finding poems and
lymrics will only cover up and hide the holes of your fears so that they're not
as easily seen by you,This will only teach you how to hide from them,this won't teach you how to confront and work with them.
You'r not needing to gaze and think of pretty things,your needing someone to smack you over the head with the brick of realisation.
that person needs to be you,so explore that side of you that screams
insecurity when all eyes in the room fall on you,instead of lacking courage to do what you like,don't even entertain the idea of a outcome simply do it for the sheer pleasure of "because i can".
no one ever said that life was about pleasures,most often its the problems in life that give the most meaningful lessons.

[Teresa]

Try adding some positive affirmations and perhaps make a list of things you really like about yourself and things you wish to change. Work on one thing at a time and add to your lists whenever you think of something . Make yourself feel like you are accomplishing things by taking baby steps and keep the positive affirmations going daily! I also agree with the people above as well about the fear. I learned a long time ago not to care what others thought of me but instead be true to myself and by doing so I pulled new people into my life.

[cheddarsox]

You can never be anything BUT yourself.

You are completely true to who you are...and right now...you are a person who allows fear to keep them from doing/saying what they would like to.

You want to be something else...a person who does/says what they like.

You do not lack courage to be who you are, but you do have a desire to be a different sort of you.

I think it is good to be clear about what the situation is. I think that is a useful step in becoming the you that you want to be.

Frankly, I think the best way is to just say...OK...now I am doing it, and do it, even if it feels funny...as soon as you do the new thing, you ARE the person who does that thing. You ARE that which you sought to be....then you might need a little time to get comfortable with it, but you will be that new thing...as soon as you ARE.

cheddar

[Rosana]

Thanks for input. Now I have more serious problem to deal with. Funny... seems like life's going to give me a lesson.

[semi]

Rosana, it's really not as hard as it seems. What you seem to be doing now is repressing yourself, holding yourself back. Just....don't. Just stop. It takes effort to hold back. It takes no effort at all to just let go and be yourself. So you don't even have to do anything. It's that easy. It may be terrifying at first, but so? It won't hurt you to be yourself. It might even be exciting and fun. So let go. By jumping off the cliff, you learn how to fly.