I need advice/ideas/hugs

[Marcasite]

So I went to my university today, go everything worked out. I have 6.5 credits to go so I'll be doing 5 over the year, 1.5 over the summer and graduating next september. I'm really excited but there's a problem.
My fiance is starting a plumbing apprenticeship in July and it will take 5 years before he becomes fully licensed. He has to stay in London for that. I want to apply to midwife school, but that's another 4 year degree and it's only offered in Hamilton and Toronto which are 2 hours away and neither of us drive. I'm not willing to live apart for 4 years. We don't want to put off the wedding and living alone is just not an option for me, I would do poorly in school and be miserable. The original plan was that I'd finish midwife school then we'd start a family and I'd go to work when the youngest was in school. But that would leave us paying off a lot of debt and I wouldn't be working (I have no debt from undergrad because my parents paid the tuition, but I'm on my own after that). I've been considering just putting midwife school on hold and starting a family sooner then going for my degree fulltime once the youngest is in school. The only problem is, I've heard a lot of people have big problems continuing with school after they have children. The other problem is financial. I'm not sure what our situation will be like by next september but we won't be well off by any means. We'll have enough for basics but not really for extras. Plus my parents and friends become livid at the thought of me putting my schooling on hold cause I have so much potential and shouldn't be financially dependant on a man (despite the fact I have been for two years already :P)
I just don't know what to do, I really don't. I know what I want to do, but I don't want to dissapoint anyone or put us in a bad situation, you know? Children are something that one really needs to think hard about before jumping into and while we're both emotionally ready for the strains of parenthood I want to make certain we're prepared in every way possible before we toss out the birthcontrol.
blah

[Kalika]

:hugz:

It is hard to go back to school after having children. But, that doesn't mean it isn't doable. I'll be starting med school in a couple of years hopefully. :) I'll have 2 munchkins by then. I started back to school after my son was born.

So, its doable, if you want it badly enough.

If you started a family now, they would be in school (Pre-school or Kindergarten) by the time your hubby-to-be finished his apprenticeship. You would be able to take classes while they were in school then, and he would be onto his career path.

I don't think there is necessarily anything wrong with putting off your schooling. If its what you want to do. Other people should be supportive of your decision, regardless of whether they necessarily agree with you or not. You know what is best for you at this point more than anyone else. Keep that in mind. :hugz:

[treefae]

i'd go to london with him.can you go to school there?

[Tzhebee]

If your soon-to-be-hubby is supportive (not just financially, but emotionally, etc.) then going back to school with kids is OK. It's HARD, but if it's what you want you CAN do it. My FH is in school. We have 4 kids; 3 in school and 1 in daycare. I work full-time and he's a full time student.

We had our kids early (20 when the first one arrived) and put school on hold. I have no urge to go back, but he did. He went for a year, then had to quit for monetary reasons, but he persisted. He wasn't able to complete his 4 year study in just 4 years (it's been about 10 now...) but he's getting it done and hasn't quit. So, it can be done.

I think it's wonderful that you are considering everything when it comes to being prepared to have a child. But I'm here to tell you that NO amount of planning and "readiness" will truly have you ready. :lol:

Go to London with him, give yourselves at least a year before tossing out the birth control. If things are working well, then start planning your family. I'm not sure what courses of study you need for mid-wifery, but are there perhaps some classes you could take 1 at a time at night or through the computer?

[WillowsMuse]

No advice other than what's been said, but I wanted to send some :hugz: