Miscarriage, and Infertility Support Thread.

[Danustouch]

We've been noticing lately, how many women on this board, have experienced miscarriages, or are currently experiencing infertility issues.

This thread is for you ladies. Please, feel free to share your feelings with us, and we will gladly offer you our thoughts, prayers, and support.

[Danustouch]

PageCrd...

You said in your other thread that you had a miscarriage some time ago, and that you are still having problems coping. Fears, questions, doubts. These are common reactions to such a sad event.

May I ask you if you've done anything in particular to find closure in the situation?

One thing that you might find useful, to attain some sense of closure, is to put a name to the unborn child. When you think of the baby, do you think of it as a girl, or boy? Try giving the baby a name, and then, doing a little ritual to say goodbye to it. Kind of like a "passing" ritual.

light a candle for the babies' soul, and allow your emotions to pour out, regarding it.

A common problem with people who suffer miscarriages, is that they don't allow themselves enough time to grieve over their loss. Many of them find that relatives, mates, etc, expect them to pick up their lives where they left off, too quickly. So, they put their emotions up on a shelf, and never really take time to express, and explore them enough.

You need to take as much time as you need, to grieve. Having a little ceremony just for that, might help you immensely.

We are here for you if you need to talk...I'm sorry for your loss.

[Mystik_Rayne]

I am 27 years old and I'm not getting any younger. I have been married for almost 2 years now and am having a hard time getting pregnant. I got pregnant when I was 16 and had a miscariage...and I have been unsucsessful ever since. I am at that age where having children is VERY important to me AND my husband. I haven't tried to many things...for lack of infertility knowledge, but I'm willing to try anything within reason. Does anyone have any ideas?

:wah2:~*~Rayne~*~:wah2:

[Danustouch]

Mystik, Just browse through these forums. There are so many idea's in here, on how to help with infertility issues. There are some great ways in herbalism, to promote fertility, chrystal healing, aromatherapy, even feng shui! I also have posted several articles about the Lunar Cycle, astrology, and such, and how they affect fertility. These are probably the lowest cost way to go, to start. What I would suggest, first of all, is that you go for a complete gynecological exam, and fertility work up. The Doctor might be able to pinpoint a problem. What he'll most likely tell you, is to follow your ovulation schedule first. There are also methods such as checking your basal temperature, etc, that a doctor will first reccomend.

Fertility drugs, and treatments, in the medical profession, are always the Last course of action, because they are very costly, and in the case of fertility drugs, can lead to severe health problems, and multiple births. So they will coach you through some more natural methods, first. There are also some things you should be doing, now..to increase your chances of conceiving. Certain vitamins you should take, things to avoid, things to get more of, etc. Just browse through this forum, there's so much info here, it would surprise you. I'd reccommend searching the threads "From the Beginning" (the option you can choose in the lower right hand corner, on the drop down menu). There is so much info here that can help you. I can so understand what you are going through, and wish you the very best of luck.

[Mystik_Rayne]

Thank you so much for the ideas Danustouch...I will definitely do the things you have suggested and will keep looking for new ideas too.


~*~Rayne~*~

[Vinga]

I've lost 3 pregnancies. I don't have any problems getting pregnant, just staying pregnant. At first the drs thought I had a uterine defect but a tubal dye test showed my uterus and tubes to be normal, so they now believe I *only* have an incompetent cervix.
I'm currently waiting for my OB to give me a green light to start trying again. I have an appointment on June 18th, where I hope he'll say it's ok. I've waited almost 3 years since my last loss and gone through quite a bit of testing, so I hope this is finally it.

[Danustouch]

Vinga..I am so sorry for your losses. I will be thinking of you on the day of your appointment, and sending you a hug. Good Luck, Sweetie!

[Kalena]

Mystik_Rayne

Have you tried Reflexology. It is very good for balancing erratic hormones, dealing with the stress of being unable to get pregnant etc.
I would always recommend finding a qualified practioner though 'cause it is not something you want to do yourself unless you know what you are doing.
Aromatherapy is good too, but again a qulified practioner would be best.

[Danustouch]

This link is for people who have suffered miscarriages, eptopic pregnancies, and still births. It gives links to news groups, discussion groups, and resources.

http://www.fertilityplus.org/faq/miscarriage/resources.html

[Danustouch]

This is a site on which several women have described their experiences with miscarriages, and what rituals they have used, or other ways in which they have memorialized their lost little ones.

http://home.hetnet.nl/~miskraam/rituals.html

[Danustouch]

Tips and Suggestions for those coping with pregnancy loss. I thought this was a terriffic page.

http://www.miscarriage.org.nz/coping/index.html#Commemorating%20the%20loss%20of%20your%20baby.

[Danustouch]

Hannah's Story.

(another story of a woman who suffered a miscarriage. I'm sure they are feelings that any woman suffering a loss of a baby can relate to)

http://www.expage.com/page/hannastory

[Danustouch]

Another Miscarriage Loss Site.

http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Ranch/3195/page3.html

[Flar's Freyja]

Excellent article from Christiane Northrup, M.D.'s monthly newsletter. For those not familiar with her, she is the author of "Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom," is a warm, funny speaker and although I believe that she is Christian, she has some very pagan views.

http://www.drnorthrup.com/womens-health-fertility3.php

[Danustouch]

Thank you for this article, freyja.

[One Eyed]

Even when I want to I can not hate her...a fool remains a fool forever I think.
No need to poison this board with garbage - I am sorry for the horrible start.

[pagecrdd]

is that im sorry for everyone who has suffered the loss of pregnancy. unfortunately we do not express our sorrow and sadness outright and often hide it as a way of moving forward. i have lost way more children than i have ever hopes and birthed far less. i thiank everyone for this thread as it has reminded me exactly what a horrible loss it is and that i am not alone.......



thanks tashi

[Emy]

announce my pregnancy at stork mail... but it seems that I am having a misscarriage right now... :( :wah:

I started to bleed yesterday, and I am also in pain. I haven't been to see a doctor, they said it isn't necessary since I am so early in my pregnancy... unless of course my bleedings get very heavy or my pain much much worse.

I feel like I have cried forever now... we wanted this baby... And now, there is probably no baby there... I have to wait for three weeks and then take a test to see if I had a misscarriage or not...

Please, send me some energy, for I sure need it.

[Faery-Wings]

(((((((((((((((Emy))))))))))))))

I am so sorry. I will light a candle for you, hubby and your baby.

Take care of yourself.

[Aurora]

Seems hard for me to believe I'm posting in this forumn instead of stork mail. I was actually going to post there last week but didn't have enough time. Well, yesterday I started cramping then a few hours past I started bleeding . Since I couldn't get ahold of my OB I went to the ER. They said everything looked fine but after running my bloodwork called in an ultrasound tech. They found that even though I was suppose to be 8wks along the fetus hadn't developed past 6 wks. Plus they couldn't detect a heart beat.

I started out not knowing if I reallly wanted to be pregnant but had finally found that in my heart I did want this child as did my husband. I must admit I'm very angry and sad and all the emotions are running high right now. I have 2 wonderful children and have never up until this day miscarried.

I just want to say I'm sorry for everyones lost.

:( :wah: :wah2: :scream: :ugh: :woah: :meanface:

[MammaStar]

(((((((((((Aurora)))))))))))))))))))))

[Raevyn]

Aurora, the same thing happened to me this past summer. My heart aches for you and your family. I'm so sorry. My only advice is to let yourself feel any emotions that come up; don't let people tell you any different, and don't feel bad for hurting. I cry tears for your baby as well :( If you need to talk I'm here to listen.

[Starpixie]

Heres my grief story if anyone is interested:
http://www.pregnancy.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?topic=26480&forum=301

[Flutterby_whispers]

I have unfortuantley experienced quite a few m/c's & found that through herbs & charting I have been able to overcome a lot of the difficulties that I have had when getting pg but continually losing the babies. It is so heart breaking to hear of all the women that have gone through smiliar experiences as I have, but wonderful to see a thread like this that is here for support.

Danustouch ~ you've given many wonderful url's!!! Thank you for sharing, I especially like the idea of having a small passing ritual, I have never done this although I think I will!

Elfva - I am so so very sorry for your loss :(

Aurora - I went through almost exactly as you have right before I became pregnant with my twins, after losing the pregnancy I couldn't believe that at first I wasn't even sure if I wanted it. Not easy emotions to deal with & I can all to well relate .. (((hugs)))

I will light a candle in the morning for all of you ~ I'm so very sorry for your losses & hope your hearts mend quickly.

B*B

[WynnJera]

Thank you for letting me find this thread today ....

This Day March 23 2000 is the anniversay of my Daughter Acelynn Ranes Death at 4 months along ... She was to be born Sept 1st... She was my second miscarriage...2 years before that Aug 24 1998 my Son Odin Darius Quinn past a 2 months along and he was to be born April 1st ... So within a few days of each other I remember the death and date set for their births every year .....

Odin's passing hurt ALOT cuz he was my 1st child and he miscarried at 2 months .... I was a personal care aide which is VERY heavy work ... but I was a trouper .... there was never any sign of trouble ... other than REALLY bad morning sickness ... I walked around work with a kidney bowl just in case .... I had some spotting but was told that was the baby settling into the lining of the wall.... a couple weeks later I went in for a checkup and they could not get any response ... He was gone .... I went in for Emerg D and C and when I woke up there was a small cream colored teddy bear ( Baby Bear ) there that was sent in sympathy ... I still have that bear and cuddle it when I am really going through the crapper .....


Acelynn's passing was forseen and unavoidable .... I started to spot days after confirmation of the pregnancy and I was placed on strict bed rest ... I could not even get up to go to the bath room alone ..... I was like that for just over 3 months and then hubby cracked cuz he could not handle it and kicked me out .... he did not want to stay married to someone that could not bare his children ... so here I was living in Regina ... with strict orders not to move an inch up and around packing myself to move back to Edmonton .... took me about a week with nasty cramps all the way ... I had some dear friends help with some stuff and my dad came and got me and I had a 10 hour car trip from Regina to Edmonton ... and I was to be on bed rest not driving the county side ... JERK ...

Anywho I survived the trip Acelynn however did not .... Another D and C .... it was found that my uterus was in such bad shape that life could not survive .... I was crushed ... I saw babies everywhere and I even began to pass milk from my breasts ... I would cry and my shirt would be soaked ... that is the hardest thing ever ...

I grew up in Edmonton and so I did not get too depressed my mom said I should look up my old high school friends and reconnnect and get out of the house .... My Best Friend in High school Diane was just what I needed .... she cheered me up and made me see that even though I could not have kids that I was still a woman and a beautiful one at that .... she forced me on a few blind dates with real losers that had kids with other women thinking that since I could not have any that they would not feel bad or cheated since they has them already .... That back fired bigtime .... then she remembered a service guy that came to fix her comapny PC ( JD ) and thought hey they would be perfect for one another .... you know I had to go or she would never stop asking me .... lol .... and what do you know sparks flew and he said he did not want to have kids due to his CHD ( Congenital Heart Defect ) with fear of passing it on .... we fell in love despite our bodies not being complete ... his heart and my uterus .... so alone we were not whole and now together we are .... we can not adopt cuz of JD heart condition so we have chosen to have fur babies instead....

Life gave me lemons and I made lemonade..... Many Blessings .... WynnJera

PS Thx for letting me vent

[Emy]

Had a miscarriage in january (at 5 weeks along), got pregnant again, and now I am having my second miscarriage (at 10 weeks along).... This time my body wont handle it on its own, so I am in for an operation on wednesday.

Life sure sucks right now...

:wah:

[Rainx]

{{{{{emy}}}}}

[Danustouch]

(((((((((((((((((((EMY))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Life can most certainly be unfair, and suck. I am so sorry for this loss, take care of yourself honey, and rant away, whenever you need to.

[WynnJera]

Many Blessings to you in this difficult time ... ((( Hugs )))

[Emy]

Many blessings to you all...

[Rainx]

Well ladies, I wasn't sure if I should hold off on announcing my pregnancy but I guess it's just as well as I'm miscarrying again.

At least this time (the third time) they got some good tissue samples for testing. The same thing happened as before - the embryo just mysteriously stopped developing very early on.

[MammaStar]

Rainx, I wish I had the right words to express how truly sorry I am.

[Semele]

I am sorry Rainx. You have no idea how much so.

[materra]

Oh! I just found this thread...warm hugs to you all. Life sure isn't fair is it...? Oh and lest you think I am a voyeur... I am not. I have had quite a few miscarrages too. Warm hugs dearies..

[Emy]

I am so sorry to hear of your misscarriage... Life sure is unfair, right?

Hope you will feel better soon, time does heal, in a way at least...

I am sure your next pregnancy will result in a beutiful baby... (one has to remain hoping and wishing for the best, your time will come, as will mine... )

*Hugs*

[Rainx]

There's a support group/club on Yahoo! you might be interested in - http://groups.yahoo.com/group/miscarriage/

[Danustouch]

(((((((((((((((((((RAIN))))))))))))))))))) Truly sorry for your loss. I hope that this time, the doctors will be able to find out a little more about what is going wrong :( I have no other words...just..I'm sorry :(

[Rain Gnosis]

This may also be of interest to some of us - http://recurrentmiscarriages.com/ - this info center is a directory to a wealth of information in regards to causes of miscarriage, support groups, treatment, news, etc. We are currently getting tested for immunological and chromosomal causes :)

[Fairywolf]

I have never had a miscarriage and I do feel for everyone who has. I can not imagine the pain that you must feel as well as the loss. I do however have a infertility problem. I have polycystic ovarys and according to the doc I will have major probs getting pregnant and if I did more than likely I will not carry my first pregnacy threw to the end. So as bad as I want children ( which is pretty bad) I am scared to try harder then what I am doing right now.

[Sapphire Wolf]

We've been noticing lately, how many women on this board, have experienced miscarriages, or are currently experiencing infertility issues.

This thread is for you ladies. Please, feel free to share your feelings with us, and we will gladly offer you our thoughts, prayers, and support.

I had a miscarriage in January. It was about seven weeks into my pregnancy and this was the first time I've been pregnant. I didn't tell anyone because earlier on I didn't know about my condition. I had all the symptoms, and the home test kit revealed a true positive. I wanted to wait until another few weeks before seeing a doctor and then telling my boyfriend and family.

I was excited.. I wasn't sure what people were going to say, my family might've been okay but not sure how the boyfriend would've reacted. He's a very busy workaholic and travels a lot, that type. He was away when I noticed it and then he returned just after I miscarried. At first I understood it was normal symptoms, but I had intense pain and felt really sick. I then got a light cold and bled. Another P/g test later on confirmed I wasn't pregnant. I was very upset and became miserable and had low self esteem. No one even knew of the loss either. All of this I suffered on my own.

I heard so much about women having miscarriages so early on in pg that they don't even know anything, some think the loss of blood is just a period or something. I'm going on a bit now.

[Rain Gnosis]

Very sorry it happened to you SW. Don't worry about "going on" here, we created this thread so women would find a place to talk about it. I've found it very therapeutic to talk about it - a lot of people aren't able to understand why we mourn, why it hurts, and so on.. so I think it's important that we do have a place to talk about it.

[tas02715]

About two yrs. ago I had a miscarriage. I wasn't that far along, but it still hurt,(after believing I couldn't conceive.) My husband & I have been trying for about a yr. & a half. He's not the prob, ( he was the one that got be pregnant b-4.) Well b-4 I start rambling........ I would like to know if there are herbal/non-medical ways to help fertility. Thanks for posting this forum, it helps.
Tati ( instead of tas02715)

[Danustouch]

hi Tas,

First let me say that I am so sorry about the miscarriage. Even though two years has gone bye, these types of memories don't fade easily..and it's quite understandable that you are stil hurting over it....((((((YOU)))))

As for non medicinal ways of increasing fertility, there used to be a Fertility Forum here at MW, but it was combined with this "Healthy Pagan" forum. So there are a TON of threads on differen't means of increasing fertility..everything from herbs, to yoga, to meditation, to magickal, etc. Just search the forum, and i'm sure you'll come up with a ton of threads which you may find helpful. I'll see if I can help out.

[Danustouch]

Here are some links I dug up from the old forum:

http://www.mysticwicks.com/showthread.php?threadid=16470&highlight=fertility

http://www.mysticwicks.com/showthread.php?threadid=16744&highlight=fertility

http://www.mysticwicks.com/showthread.php?threadid=15602&highlight=fertility

http://www.mysticwicks.com/showthread.php?threadid=15999&highlight=fertility

http://www.mysticwicks.com/showthread.php?threadid=15390&highlight=fertility

http://www.mysticwicks.com/showthread.php?threadid=15362&highlight=fertility

http://www.mysticwicks.com/showthread.php?threadid=10841&highlight=fertility

These should get you started...

But if you just run a search in this forum, and type in "Fertility" ...you'll come up with alot more links :) Good luck.

[Rain Gnosis]

Hi tati, sorry to hear about your miscarriage. We also got pregnant accidentally the first and third time, so didn't see it coming.. we find ourselves asking why Goddess gave us a baby just to take it back? If people tell you you should be over it, don't listen to them! I am constantly surprised by people who say that - no one would tell you that you have to get over your 2 year old's death within a time period, but people say it about unborn babies and somehow that's supposed to be ok.

When you say trying, have you been charting your cycles and timing sex for ovulation, or just not using protection? I ask because it is my understanding that if you've been charting and trying for over a year you might want to see a doctor to see if there's anything that can be done.

I know on a lot of the pregnancy forums women chat about charting and TTC (trying to conceive) so you might try finding some so you have women to talk to about it.

[materra]

Rain, I learn so much from you. You have excellent insight into feelings and how human's act. I so appreciated you statement...
"no one would tell you that you have to get over your 2 year old's death within a time period, but people say it about unborn babies and somehow that's supposed to be ok". It is so true, and human and touching that you see how wrong it is. Thank you.

[Rain Gnosis]

Thanks materra :) I only know because it's happened to me though. I understand some people don't feel at that early on you have a baby inside you, but I know when I was pregnant I *knew* there was a baby and loved him or her from the get go. Even though, when you miscarry, you don't have years of memories, you do have hopes and dreams, expectations and a great love for someone who should be safe and snug within.

[Danustouch]

I agree...which is why I said it's so understandable that she still feels pain. I should have been more clear...... There is no timeline on grief.

[tas02715]

Thank u so much. People look @ u funny when u say u still hurt. It sucks, plain & simple.
Tati; Tas ( whatever people think easier to put)

[Rain Gnosis]

Tati, I agree, it will always hurt. People don't understand how it feels to lose someone you love, and sometimes I think they say stupid things because they don't wanna think about it.

Sorry about your loss DayDreamer :( And what a beautiful name (it's the same one I chose for my second baby when I let her go).

[WynnJera]

I am a Mother to a daughter in Heaven
I will never get to hold her
or watch her turn seven

I am a Mother to a daughter that was stillborn
never getting to read her bedtime stories
about the Mystical Unicorns

I am a Mother to a daughter who is loved
sent with a life time of wishes in one kiss
to the clouds in the sky above

WynnJera © Copyright protected

I have been there twice myself ( Big Hugs ) Day dreamer I did not fall and I am sorry to hear you did ... I thought it was my womb that was not strong enough to sustain life ...For a long time I cursed myself for being a failure as a mother .... Well as I found out 2 months ago I was diagnosed with Epilepsy ... that is the reason my babies went to Summerland ... but when I read what you wrote I thought I would share the poem I wrote for my daughter ... it has helped me alot .... Many Blessings .... WynnJera .....

[Danustouch]

((((((((((Daydreamer))))))))))

[Rain Gnosis]

Online support groups - I find it's good to talk to people who have experienced loss as well - http://dmoz.org/Home/Family/Pregnancy/Loss/Support_Groups/Online_Support/

Also, a great book is Pregnancy after a Loss by Carol Cirulli Lanham. Even if you aren't pregnant again it starts after loss - discussing feelings, ways to cope, testing that might be done, thinking about trying again, etc.

[Rain Gnosis]

Miscarriage Manual (http://www.inciid.org/mismanl.html)
Pregnancy Loss Info (http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/pregnancyloss.html)
Recurrent Pregnancy Loss Testing (http://www.fertilityplus.org/faq/miscarriage/rpl.html)

[Rain Gnosis]

And may I add, thank goodness for our health system. I've just recently been finding (American) prices for the tests that were ordered (and we're Canadian, so they cost more) and there's no way in heck we could've afforded karyotyping, antibody testing, thyroid, abdominal and transvaginal ultrasounds, etc. etc.

[Devin]

I am 31yo and have been trying to get pregnant since a miscarriage at 8 weeks in 2/97. I have been told by doctors that I have PCOS. My husband's sperm is just fine.

Leslie

[Danustouch]

(((((((((((((((((DEVIN))))))))))))))))))) I am so sorry. I was "Trying" a while back, but due to various reasons, I stopped trying. I know it is incredibly frustrating. I was never diagnosed with anything, I never really took it that far. For you to have gone through all this time, and all the tests...I'm so sorry. I don't know much about PCOS...what is it??

[Rain Gnosis]

I am 31yo and have been trying to get pregnant since a miscarriage at 8 weeks in 2/97. I have been told by doctors that I have PCOS. My husband's sperm is just fine.

I don't know much about PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome) but one of my sisters in law has it. I'm very sorry to hear about your miscarriage. Feel free to talk about it here, as I know sometimes it's hard to find a place to feel comfortable talking about it.

Are you treating the PCOS? Or did you just find out?

[Devin]

I don't have medical insurance. I have tried fertility drugs and they did nothing. I have tried Vitex, but I am not good at swallowing big pills. I am looking for a liquid or something easier to take. I have had PCOS since I was told in 1998.

Leslie

[Danustouch]

again (((((((((Devin))))))))) so sorry. Fertility issues are financially difficult even for people WITH medical insurance, as many plans still do not cover some of the more advanced fertility treatments. So I can imagine your frustration, without insurance :( Prayers sent your way hon....it's not much, but I hope it helps or brings comfort. As rain said, feel free to rant, cry, scream, yell, or just talk here.

[Devin]

I can't rant to much, I have a great life with many friends and family members. Both of my parents are deceased and so are all of my grandparents. I try to live my life by saying maybe I am not supposed to have kids and this is my path. I just have a nagging urge or feeling that says, "Please don't stop trying Mommy! I want to be born!" I am just very impatient and afraid my age will hinder me soon. I don't ovulate because my eggs don't mature properly. I wish there was some magical pill or spell.

Leslie

[Danustouch]

There used to be a fertility forum here at MW. If you search the forum, you'll notice alot of threads pertaining to fertility matters (just type in fertility or infertility into the forum search). There are some magickal aids, and some medical ones. I wish I could give you a miracle cure too... but..for now..all I have to offer is my thoughts... they're with you.

[Devin]

(((((((((((((((((DEVIN))))))))))))))))))) I am so sorry. I was "Trying" a while back, but due to various reasons, I stopped trying. I know it is incredibly frustrating. I was never diagnosed with anything, I never really took it that far. For you to have gone through all this time, and all the tests...I'm so sorry. I don't know much about PCOS...what is it??

PCOS is PolyCystic Ovary Syndrome is a disorder is characterized by changes to the ovaries such that multiple follicles accumulate in the ovaries without ovulation. The ovary secretes higher levels of testosterone and estrogens. This results in irregular or no menses, excess body hair growth, occasionally baldness, and often obesity, diabetes and hypertension.

Leslie

[Fairywolf]

I Have PCOS and I know how you feel.

That is bad stuff.
I am trying to get into a research program to see if I can get something to help with it.

[Rain Gnosis]

I just have a nagging urge or feeling that says, "Please don't stop trying Mommy! I want to be born!" I am just very impatient and afraid my age will hinder me soon.

*nods* I absolutely understand that. I wish I could offer you medical advice but I'm not well versed in that field. I'm sure you're working with your doctor.

[Rain Gnosis]

I am looking for a liquid or something easier to take. I have had PCOS since I was told in 1998.

Well I know it doesn't mean much but you're definitely in my prayers for healing.

[Devin]

Thank You all for the hugs, prayers, and good thoughts!

Leslie

[jennymac]

I miscarried in nov. at 7 weeks.I'm currently trying to concieve again but now I have to see a specialist about my hormone levels(mainly testosterone)I'm only 22 but my heart is set on having a baby.
I found this poem on a website after my miscrriage and even though I cried when I read it I found it comforting also.

Author Unknown
I thought of you and closed my eyes And prayed to Goddess today I asked "What makes a Mother?" And I know I heard Her say.
"A Mother has a baby" This we know is true "But Goddess can you be a Mother, When your baby's not with you?"
"Yes, you can," she replied With confidence in Her voice "I give many women babies, When they leave is not their choice.
Some I send for a lifetime, And others for the day. And some I send to feel your womb, But there's no need to stay."
"I just don't understand this Goddess I want my baby to be here." she took a deep breath and cleared Her throat, And then I saw the tear.
"I wish I could show you, What your child is doing today. If you could see your child's smile, With all the other children and say...
'We go to Earth to learn our lessons, Of love and life and fear. My Mommy loved me oh so much, I got to come strait here.
I feel so lucky to have a Mom, Who had so much love for me. I learned my lessons very quickly, My Mommy set me free.
I miss my Mommy oh so much, But I visit her every day. When she goes to sleep, On her pillow's where I lay
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek, And whisper in her ear. Mommy don't be sad today, I'm your baby and I'm here.'
"So you see my dear sweet ones, your children are okay. Your babies are born here in My home, And this is where they'll stay.
They'll wait for you with Me, Until your lesson's through. And on the day that you come home they'll be at the gates for you.
So now you see what makes a Mother, It's the feeling in your heart it's the love you had so much of Right from the very start
Though some on earth may not realize, you are a Mother. Until their time is done. They'll be up here with Me one day and know that you are the best one!"

[tas02715]

That was beautiful. Thanks!!!! :) :broomride

[Devin]

That is great. I am going to share it with some friends.

Leslie

[Kaylara]

*sob*

[Devin]

Check this out - http://www.vocalicious.com/empty_arms/empty_arms_mod2.html

Leslie

[menolly]

I had a miscarriage on the 18th of September, nearly two months ago now, at ten weeks. I knew she was a girl, I've already had a son and carrying her was so different. I didn't want to lose her. On sunday the 14th, I noticed I was bleeding, so I went to the hospital in the town where my boyfriend lives. They were really unsympathetic, and all they did was make me a scan appointment for the 17th. The bleeding didn't stop, and I knew I was losing her. I went to the hospital in my home town on the 16th, and they confirmed she was still there, but told me to keep the scan appontment.
When I went for the scan, I saw that the pregnancy was very low down and not as developed as it should be for 10 weeks. They still told me she would be fine, but I knew she'd stopped growing and would soon be gone. The next day it was finally complete. I didn't need a D & C, which I was thankful for, as the ordeal was bad enough without that.
I called her Amara Nuala Cyann. Amara is Latin for 'Eternal Beloved', and I knew my boyfriend liked the name Nuala.
I feel so empty now, like I've lost something I can never get back. Maybe because I have, but I believe in reincarnation, and I hope that one day when Guy and I are ready, she will return to us.

I feel for all here who have shared their stories, and I've shed more than a few tears reading them.
Brightest blessings to all of you;

Liz

[MysticMama]

thought I would jump into this thread as we've not been using birth control for a year and still no success. Our daughter took 2.5 yrs and alopathic fertility intervention, which I would like to avoid this time.

Wanted to send ~*~*~*~*~*BABY DUST*~*~*~*~ to everyone who wants it, myself included! :huddle:

[Semele]

I will keep you in my prayers for an easier conception this time.

[MysticMama]

I will keep you in my prayers for an easier conception this time.
Give your belly a loving rub from me and my spirit baby! :hug:

[jennymac]

I was recently diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome. I can't get an appointment to see the specialist until May.In a way I am glad to have finally found out what was wrong but I'm also scared. If someone gets a chance could you please pass on some things that I should expect?

[Earthcup]

Hey folks there was a news story on Yahoo! a couple of days ago that said a woman is less likely to have her immune system fight off sperm or a fetus if she has had lots of exposure to that particular sperm.

One way doctors are suggesting achieving longterm exposure is through oral sex. There is frankly more exposure to the sperm if it passes through the digestive tract.

Hoping to become pregnant and wanting as healthy a pregnancy as possible I plan to buy big peppermint sticks to help me with the gag reflex.

Sorry this has been slightly graphic but I hope it helps....

[Mareth]

Do you have the URL for this particular story? I'd love to read it.

Thanks,

-Mareth

[Earthcup]

Here you go!

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_514317.html

Couldn't find it on Yahoo! but it's the same bit 'o news!

[Mareth]

Thanks! I went to Yahoo's news site and looked through several pages of stories without being able to track this one down.

Blessings of the Mother,

-Mareth

[Brighid]

Hello everyone,
I'm glad I found this site as I have a burning issue to discuss and can't find anyone who'll listen!
Myself and my husband have been trying to conceive for 3 years, and have just begun investigations at the fertility clinic. It seems the problem lies with me, and this is what I want to discuss.
I have only just managed to admit to myself that I am infertile (it sounds so final, doesn't it?) - and I am finding my infertility very difficult to reconcile with the many images around my house and in books of the fertile life-giving goddess, whom I have worshipped for nearly 20 years now. The goddess is the creatrix of all life, and the bringer of death (for when you give birth to anything, it is automatically comdemned to death - nothing stops the great cycle!). With the emphasis so much on fertility in the pagan religion, where does that leave an infertile woman?
I'm not really explaining this very well, it's difficult, but sometimes I feel like I'm almost not worthy of worshipping the goddess, because I can't replicate myself and give life as she does.
Does anyone have similar feelings? Brighid chose me, and sometimes I feel she might have been mistaken!
Anyway, I'll stop waffling now - Love to everyone here, Debi xxxxx

[Faery-Wings]

Hi Brighid, welcome to Mw!
You might want to repost this as a new thread in this forum- that way, it will get a bit more exposure. I have no real advice for you. However, IMO, if Brigid chose you, I am sure she did for a very good reason.
I cannot say that I understand you pain and confusion, but I di have a very good friend who had infertility issues as well. I know how heartbreaking it was for her.

Many blessings!

[The Shadowy Dawn]

hi um, well i read in a book,, dont know if you'll believe me, but there is some folklore about babies and conceiving. uhem.

if four women of the same name sit at a table, all wearing white, and say horse at the same time, one will be pregnant within the year

if you sit in the chair of a pregnant woman, you will have a child within a year
dont cross legs! it hinders birth
if it's a good year for nuts, its a good year for babies
if a woman gives away all her babies old stuff, she will than have another baby within a year, ( no seriossy, happened to my mom!)

well, why not call to hertha, goddess of the home and the hearth, eat

oh and, almost forgot...
carry an acorn with you when you wish to conceive, you might want to eat one too.. prepare a spell to charge the acorn, than put it into a little pouch , charge pouch with same purpose, then you can wear it around your neck, it is a gris gris bag of fertility, and dont worry about where you are as an unfertile woman as long as you try, the goddess may reward you in the next life ::smiles:: ::simpathy:: oh yeah , look into your past life... this could be karma ::shrug::

-love and prayers!

-prayers

[Gwyndara]

After haveing read this thread I feel better. I don't really understand why I feel better but I just do. perhaps it's because I'm not alone in all of this. That said this is me:
28 years old.
Been maried for 5 years.
Been trying to have a child for 3 years.
Unable to so far.
Dr's and Dr's and more Dr's, *sigh*.
Sometimes it's just not meant to be I suppose.

[samiaminsane]

I had one miscarriage 2 years ago (and hate to write this, because there are so many others who have been through so much more, but it still bothers me). I still cry about it, and I don't understand how that could have affected me so much, while I can put other past issues aside with ease. It was not a planned pregnancy, and the guy was a complete a** after I told him, and didn't talk to me for a month 'till I told him I had miscarried. He then proceeded to try and talk me into being with him. I finally forgot about him, and how he had tricked me into thinking he was so wonderful, and I saw him the other day. There I am, leaving the grocery store, and there he is, standing outside in his rentacop uniform, saying hello to me like I'm his ****ing best friend. I thought so much about what I wanted to do to him if I ever laid eyes on him again, but I did nothing. I just walked away and got in my car and drove off without ever turning around to see him staring at me, as I'm sure he was. I still cry, I have bad dreams, I have this longing for a baby sometimes so much it physically hurts. I wonder why.

[Bec_W]

Aradwynn, it's extremely normal to feel the way you do, to be honest, I don't know if you ever really "get over" loosing a baby. You have the right to feel the way you do and your loose is no less significant then any other women's. :hugz:

[Gwyndara]

Well an update on me. I have been to the last specialits I will ever go to. I will not have children biologicly in this life. I will have to adopt wich is nice. this said thankyou all for your storys and support. Love Gwyn.

[Bec_W]

Gwyndara, I'm sorry to hear that :( Have you thought of other options like surrogacy? (SP?) This is the blog of a women who had a T shaped uterus (http://chezmiscarriage.blogs.com) so can't carry a pregnancy. She's currently looking at surrogacy, but even if your not concidering that option it's still a great blog and there are many other infertile women posting there.

[HappyFire]

No one has posted here in awhile, but I thought I'd go ahead an share my story. I'll try to keep it short. :) My husband and I have been married for almost 5 years. We started trying to concieve shortly after we got married. After trying for a couple of years with no luck, we finally broke down and started some testing. We found out right away that my husband produces little to no sperm. We could possibly try IVF or similar, but our insurance doesn't cover it. We do wonder how accurate the test results were, as we have found many discrepancies in the paperwork. At any rate...we've been trying for quite awhile naturally. We've decided to keep trying until hubby gets out of the Army, and then if we still haven't conceived, we'll adopt. We'd adopt now, but hubby has a deployment coming up, and it's just not a good time.

[Dusk]

I've known since I was 14 that I should not become pregnant for health reasons. Although it bothered me some then and for a very short while around the time I got married, for the most part I've come to accept it. In fact, the only times it has bothered me is when I've allowed myself to feel like less than a whole woman simply because I can not procreate. It is not true.

These are two of my basic beliefs toward the issue:
Not having children does not make you less than a whole person (man or woman).
It is ok for me to be unwilling to risk my health for the sake of giving birth.

I get more than a little irritated when people seem to require justification from me (and hubby) because we are not having children. It is like some people feel there is something wrong with you if you don't have children of your own. I would like to say, "this doesn't require your approval."

[Bec_W]

Happyfire,
I have friends that were concidering coming to Australia to do IVF because even including the flight it was cheaper (or very close to the same price) to cycle with IVF in Australia :lol:

Dawn,
I have a friend who's decided not to have children and has had people tell her that she'll "change her mind once she has kids"... erhm hello??
Bec

[Gwyndara]

Well once again my mother-in-law has started the "It must be Honey's (me) fault" and explaining to me the importance of mother-hood. Ugh! I don't need her saying these horrible things, and I just needed to vent, thanks for listening.

[Bec_W]

aaawwww Gwyn, that's horrible :( I'm sorry, some people never really understand :(

[magick_faerie]

i have had 2 miscarriages and have been told im unlikely to have kids. it breaks my heart as i want to be someones mam so badly. but i guess the Goddess has her reasons.....

[Bec_W]

:hugz: I'm sorry for your loss, not being able to have kids can be a really hard thing to accept.

[PoisonIvy]

I have Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrom (PCOS). I don't know if I will be able to have any children or not. With PCOS the most common thing that happens is miscarriage. I don't really know if I want children or not though. My husband says "Whatever happens...happens" but I think he wants to be a father pretty bad since he doesn't get to see his daughter anymore.(Her mother is a total beeatch!) The doctor says that he can give me some pills that would help me but too many twins and triplets run in his and my family. I don't know what to feel at this point! I'd like to have a part of me and my husband to be here after we pass over,but I'm already 33 and I don't want a teenager when I'm in my 50's or 60's and miss having grandchildren either.

Blessed Be

[Bec_W]

There was an informal study (there weren't enough participants) done a few years back that said that women with untreated PCOS have an almost 86% chance of miscarriage, which is WAY above what's normal. However of the PCOS patients being treated with Metformin few of them miscarried.

It's not an easy decision to make, but whatever you choose, if you want to talk this thread (however slow paced it is) is always here :)

[Mab]

How do y'all deal with it? I've been ttc for 10 months, and every month there's no baby. It's tearing me up. I just fall apart when I see the test come back negative or when my period comes. This time I'm 14 days late, but the test was negative, and I'm sitting here in my cubicle at work trying not to cry & trying to pretend I'm invisible. It's killing me.

How do you cope? I don't know what to do. I'm so angry & frustrated, and it hurts so much b/c it's something I have wanted so badly for so long, and now I feel like I'll never have it.

[Bec_W]

It's probably really simplistic to say, "you just do", but I guess (for me at least) that's what it is. I do have a good group of friends on another board who are also trying to get pregnant which helps. It's nice to be able to talk about what you're feeling and have other people understand. It's also really encouraging and exciting when some one gets a positive test result.

[Mab]

i must be really awful, then. i get so depressed & sad when i read the pregnancy announcements, and some days, when the boss's granddaughter comes in, or when when one of my co-workers brings in their baby, I have to go hide in the ladies' or hide in my cubicle (thank God it's in the back corner). I mean, I'm happy for them, but it just seems to intensify my own feelings of emptiness & frustration.

i guess i'm just really selfish.....

[Bec_W]

You're most certainly not awful! :hugz: and I'm really sorry if what I said implied that because that's not what I meant. It's completely normal to feel frustrated and angry, a good friend of mine just came out of a really horrible couple of months of feeling like that.

It can be really hard being around people who are able to have a baby at the drop of a hat. But the women in the group are having trouble concieving too, so it's kind of a little victory when one of them gets a positive. It's nice being in a group where people understand and that it's okay to talk about your really bad days when it hurts just to look at a baby.

[Mab]

It's ok Bec. You didn't make me feel horrible. I just..make myself feel that way. And my SO doesn't help. He doesn't really understand how it is. He has a baby, and wants another, but he doesn't really understand how painful it can be. So he has a tendency to scold me for being selfish.

[Bec_W]

I think generally guys don't tend to understand, it's different for them and it's not their bodies that are "broken", you know?

[heartandrose]

Mystik, best of luck to you, and I'm assuming you've tried fertility rituals or spells/prayers. If not try them. Maybe even a ritual that includes sex. If so than flat ask your god/gods if they want you to have a child or not. I mean sometimes no matter how much we want something, it's just not written in our hands. Another option or a side option is insemination, or even adoption.

[gurlygurl2004]

By the way I'm heartandrose formerly, and of course I wrote that last message.

[manicfairy19]

what do you think happens to the soul of a baby that has died through miscarriage? I really just need to know. Be honest in your thoughts I dont want to be lied to I just have to know.

[Bec_W]

what do you think happens to the soul of a baby that has died through miscarriage? I really just need to know. Be honest in your thoughts I dont want to be lied to I just have to know.

I read somewhere that Japanese Buddhists (or Buddhists in general) believe that we don't "get" a soul at a specific moment. They believe that the soul trickles into our bodies until we're 6 (I guess then we're "full") and then when we turn 60 it starts to trickle back out into the ether.

I like to think that I'm still connected to my babies, just like live babies are connected to their parents. I don't know what happens to us when we die, but maybe part of us stays with the people who loved us and whom we loved and part of us moves on. But then maybe that's just what makes it easier to deal with.

[Atropos]

A couple years ago I found out I had endometriosis. I had laproscopic surgery done and they gave me 6months to get pregnant. We had been trying for a couple years before that. I pretty much can't have kids w/out invitro or something else really expensive. We talked about it and decided that we didn't need kids and that we were happy with just us and our critters. I may change my mind in the future and who knows I may regret deciding to not have kids. But at this point all the medical hoopla and mental strain is too much on me.

[Bec_W]

I understand what you mean. I don't think I'll ever be emotionally able to handle something like IVF and adoption is such a hard road, so if we can't have children on our own I doubt we'll ever have them.

[Limey]

I've just been diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. The symptoms include infertility, hormone imbalances, mood swings, depression, weight gain and hair growth. the infertility is not such an issue for me but I was wondering if there is anyone else suffering from this and if they had any tips on ways I can help relieve the symptoms.

[Bec_W]

You could check out this website - http://www.posaa.asn.au/ (http://www.posaa.asn.au/) it's the PCOS association of Australia.

It seems that the best way you could relieve symptoms of PCOS is to loose weight (if you're overwieght of course). Women with PCOS often have trouble loosing weight so doctors prescribe Metformin which is a diabetes drug, I'm not sure if this works for all cases of PCOS or just for those who are insulian (sp?) resistant.

Seeing as you're not interested in concieve you may be put on a special birth control pill, which is higher in estrogen, or is estrogen only (can't remember).

Also a lot of women say that a diet low in carbs is helpful in reducing symptoms.

[Limey]

Thank you I will defintely check that link out

[Ceres]

You might try homeopathy, from a doctor of homeopathy, not just the lady at the health food store looking up the remedy in a book. ;)
It's costly up front, but may end up being more cost effective in the end.

[Bec_W]

good idea. There are a few doctors who specialize in natural medicine, so you can get the consult and some of the treatments on medicare, you might find the same thing in England :crossed:

[Limey]

Thanks, I'll definitely have a look i nto that too. At the moment I'm on a waiting list to see an Endocrinologist but I have no date when that's going to be and I'm getting desperate because my symptoms are getting much more severe

[Bec_W]

I've heard a lot of good things about the low carb diet, so maybe you could give that a whirl, even if you just lower the amount of carbs you're currently eating without getting fully into it.

I hope you get in to see an endo soon.

[Mab]

Ok. I'm gonna whine just for a bit.

My SO & I were trying for a good year to get me preggers. We since learned that hottubs are bad for that (he was having back trouble & was in one a lot). That's stopped---gosh--several months ago.

Just today....another failed test. I'm 31 & feel like I'm running out of time fast. Every month it's a failed test, and it's REALLY starting to get to me. Right now I just feel really depressed & like crying. And I'm at work & can't talk to him about it.....

how do y'all cope? I mean, how do you deal with the negatives every month?

[Bec_W]

Oi, dealing with I/F... To be honest the best way to deal with I/F is to not. You don't think about, you keep busy, you don't test, you don't become hyperaware of everything your body does. It's much easier to stay sane if you pretend it isn't happening. If you think about, look for signs and test every month you end up driving yourself crazy.

When you do test and it's another negative or you're just having a bad day it helps to have friends you can cry to and tell all the irrational thoughts you're having. Sometimes it helps to write it down, blog about it or keep it secret, sometimes it helps just to cry by yourself.

At the risk of saying that dreaded word that everyone who's TTCing hates to hear, if you've "only" been trying for a year you might not be infertile, sometimes it just takes that long. Have you seen a doctor to see if there's anything they can do?

I have two friends who swear by accupuncture, they've both tried IUI with no luck and both got pregnant during cycles when the only thing they did was accupunture. One of them was due to start IVF the next cycle.

[PoisonIvy]

I just can't wait until menopause!!!! :megaphone I know that I'll never be a mom and I'm sick and tired about worrying about missed or late cycles! I'm late again and I know that nothing is "in there" and I refuse to blow my money on another test or doctors visit in hopes that some miracle has taken place!

*rolls dice* Come on menopause!!!!!


I HATE MY BODY!!! :bastard:

[~Broken Lily~]

Hubby and I have been trying for a baby since December. A few months ago I found out I have PCOS and will need fertility tratment to fall pregnant. I'm heartbroken. It's every womans birth right to be able to concieve a child when they wish, and to have that taken away from you. I think about it all the time, and feel so depressed every time my period starts. I'm on a waiting list to see a gyny to discuss my options. While I'm waiting I have started having acupunture and taking Chinese medicines. I'm willing to try anything at the moment.

[Bec_W]

PoisonIvy - yeah I know the feeling.

Broken Lily - a couple of posts back I replied to some one else who had just been diagnoised with PCOS. I understand your pain, but remember there are LOTS of women with PCOS and children. I hope the herbs and acupuncture helps.

[Ceres]

I have two friends who swear by accupuncture, they've both tried IUI with no luck and both got pregnant during cycles when the only thing they did was accupunture. One of them was due to start IVF the next cycle.

My neice was able to conceive because of accupuncture. She had no cycles at all, started menstruating after a few monthes of accupuncture and got pregnant before she had another period. Her accupuncturist guy costs 60 bucks a week, and has a huge reputation for success.

[LadyCelt]

I love my finacee very very much. But, due to his spinal ambifita, he cannot have children. (he is disabled and in a wheelchair and paralyzed from waist down.)

I feel I wanna do an open adoption, hopefully from people who would of aborted. I prefer open adoption most.

I'm sure he'll be upset on our wedding night if we dan't have sex cause its not as big as it may take to you know. But, I love him regaurdless.

[auryn]

One book that many of you might like is Coming to Term by Jon Cohen. I'm also reading Unsung Lullabies by Janet Jaff and Martha & David Diamond. Both of these discuss miscarriage and I enjoyed the first one in particular. There are also links to many blogs by women who have experienced miscarriages at http://www.alittlepregnant.com/alittlepregnant/blogs.html (http://www.alittlepregnant.com/alittlepregnant/blogs.html)

When I was dealing heavily with depression and miscarriages these types of sites and books weren't widely available. I felt very alone and ultimately it was one reason my relationship with the would-be father fell apart. There are many difficult emotions to deal with and often it feels like no one understands.

[Bec_W]

Yeah, blogs are a good source of comfort. I was really disappointed when Getupgrrl took her archives down

[yavanna]

Its really amazing how many of us have infertility issues. I have a thyroid problem and I'm sure thats affecting my fertility. My husband and I haven't been trying per se, but we've been together 4 years and never used protection so it doesn't take a lot of time in the thinkin' chair to figure out that there's a problem. At one point I bought some ovulation tests and was so stoked when I found out I was ovulating, but as I tested myself through the course of the month it said I was ALWAYS ovulating. 10 tests later, still the same thing. I'm sure its a hormonal thing relating to my thyroid. I'm taking synthroid but its probably some problem upstream in the system like the pituitary. I don't know if its fixable or if anyone else here has had this problem, but I'm really worried. I want to have a kid someday. I haven't gone to the doctor about it yet because our insurance is really lousy so I have to wait unti Trout (husband) gets a better job with bettern insurance. Hopefully that will be soon but until them I just feel like I'm dying inside not knowing whats wrong with me. If I can't have a child biologically I'll try and adopt but I'd love to experience pregnancy for myself.

WHY DOES HEATHCARE HAVE TO BE SO UNAFFORDABLE? :atantrum:

*sigh* I hope this next job has better insurance.

[Bec_W]

Have you thought of being tested again to find out if the Synthroid is working or if it's the right dose? I'm not sure if this is true of all thyriod problems, but people with Hashimoto's often find that they have a lower then normal body temp so some doctors use basal body temp's to figure out if the medication is at the right dose.

[yavanna]

Yeah, its at the right dose, but the tests to see if I have other hormonal imbalances (man it sounds like PMS or something) are not covered by our insurance as they're said to be "exploratory" Yeah, aren't all tests?

[Bec_W]

Insurance sucks :(

I hope that you find some way to be able to afford your tests.

[Scarded-of-self]

I'm glad i found this thread. I had a miscarriage this evening and this is my sixth time, I was suppose to have a baby last year on Christmas but i lost her to a miscarriage also. This is totally heart breaking me.

[~RavenHardt~]

I'm glad i found this thread. I had a miscarriage this evening and this is my sixth time, I was suppose to have a baby last year on Christmas but i lost her to a miscarriage also. This is totally heart breaking me.
please know that there must have been a reason why the lord and the lady have been taking these treasures from you.....it is not because you are not strong enough...but maybe they were not strong enough to survive the elements of life. Have you had any fertility testing done to see why you are unable to carry to term?.

My heart goes out to you my friend...I can feel your sorrow....I only wish I could remove some of your pain.

[Scarded-of-self]

They havent done any testing yet. I'm hoping they do after this one so i can find out what is going wrong.

[Marcasite]

I'm so sorry for your loss :hugz:

[Bec_W]

I'm so sorry for your loss :(

I hope you're able to get some tests done and find some answers.

[Danustouch]

I'm so sorry for your loss...((((YOU))))

[Platinum Dove]

Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry for your loss. There has to be a reason why. I would suggest getting tested as well, there must be areason why you cannot carry to term.

[RainInanna]

Very sorry about your loss :( There might not be a reason (there isn't in my case so far as anyone can tell) but at least testing could rule out a lot of possibilities. One of the hardest things for me anyway is not knowing WHY. Usually they will after 3 though, so god I hope they will look at it seriously for you now. Is it always very early on or..?

[RainInanna]

I understand what you mean. I don't think I'll ever be emotionally able to handle something like IVF and adoption is such a hard road, so if we can't have children on our own I doubt we'll ever have them.

I can definitely think about adoption but IVF - whoa. A lot of the infertility forums I've found are largely populated by ladies who have gone that route, or are doing other fertility treatments. I just don't think I could handle the pressure!

Well, then again, my problem isn't conceiving, it's keeping the sticky bean, so it wouldn't work anyway. But still, all those invasive treatments and injections are scary.

[Scarded-of-self]

Very sorry about your loss :( There might not be a reason (there isn't in my case so far as anyone can tell) but at least testing could rule out a lot of possibilities. One of the hardest things for me anyway is not knowing WHY. Usually they will after 3 though, so god I hope they will look at it seriously for you now. Is it always very early on or..?

They have been anywere from 8 weeks to 5 months.They ran test the day so I hope i get them back soon and can find something out finaly

[RainInanna]

I am praying for some answers for you!

[anamcarra]

Hi there
I miscarried my first pregnancy yesterday, and whilst searching the web for some poetry to read at our good-bye ceremony, I came across this site and stumbled on to this thread. So I registered. Here I am.
Our story goes as follows:
I am 25 and I have poly-cystic ovaries and Oct 2005 marked one year since we had started trying to conceive, so my Dr sent me for ovulation testing in November 2005. The results came back showing that I wasn't ovulating, and we prepared to visit the infertility clinic. December 2005 arrived and I realised I hadn't had a period since Oct, so despite the knowledge that I couldn't possibley be pregnant, I did a test anyway and we were thrilled to find I hadn't ovulated in November because I was already pregnant.
Yule came and went and we celebrated the new life we were growing.
Monday 2nd January 2006 came and brought with it the sight that every pregnant woman dreads. Bright red blood. We went to our Dr who sent us for a scan yesterday, which confirmed what my heart already knew. I was miscarrying. Our baby died at 8w4D gestation. Tomorrow I go for an ERPC to 'clean' me out.
We have bought a winter flowering Witch Hazel today, to plant at our ceremony, during the Wolf Moon, so when it flowers at mid winter we will remember what we were given, what we lost and what we have learnt.

The Goddess gives, and she takes away.

Something guided me here to this site today, thank you for letting me write everything down.

Bright blessings, Ana.

[Ceres]

The Goddess gives, and she takes away.

Something guided me here to this site today, thank you for letting me write everything down.

Bright blessings, Ana.

I am so sorry for your loss, Ana, though having suffered similar losses, I know nothing anyone says eases your grief right now. I am glad you found this sight, unhappy though the circumstances right now are, I hope you will stay.

[RainInanna]

Welcome and I too am sorry to hear of your loss. If there is anyway we can help please let us know. Also please feel free to talk here about anything - I know when it was me I felt like no one else recognized my pain or wanted to hear it.

[vikinggoddess]

how long does it take to get a period again after you have had a miscarriage?

[Ceres]

how long does it take to get a period again after you have had a miscarriage?
Dont tell me you lost your baby? It usually takes 4-6 weeks.
ETA: if you get pregnant right away, without waiting for that first period, you are extremely fertile for some reason.

[RainInanna]

Well girls, starting loss #4 for me. Good thing was the doc in the ER took me seriously and took a culture and beta hcg as well as an exam and ordering an ultrasound asap. No results yet, however he said my uterus was measuring way too small for being 8 and a half weeks and I'm 100% positive on my dates, although cervix is still closed. Also I spoke up and asked for a D&C which he says he can arrange along with a referral to an OB/GYN, so they can test the fetal tissue. I'm on bed rest and tomorrow will wait for a call telling me when my ultrasound will be, then we'll get a definite answer on whether this is a miscarriage.

I'm just relieved that this time the doctor was honest and open as well as compassionate, as were the nurses. It was such a relief for people to understand I want answers. I went through a bunch of testing with a specialist a few years ago, but fetal tissue has never been tested, and given the early dates on the losses I'm pretty sure it's a chromosomal issue that just might be picked up this way.

[Mab]

um........how does a type A "OMG I HAVE ZERO PATIENCE" not stress out every month when the stick says "not this time, chica"?

[Ceres]

um........how does a type A "OMG I HAVE ZERO PATIENCE" not stress out every month when the stick says "not this time, chica"?

It almost feels like your uterus is betraying you, doesnt it? How many monthes have you been trying?

[Mab]

It almost feels like your uterus is betraying you, doesnt it? How many monthes have you been trying?

It does! I feel broken, and it sucks. Like "why won't you behave?"

*sigh* Been open to life for over a year, and hard-core ttc for 6 about 5 months. I know it's not him, b/c he has a daughter from a previous marriage.

And to think, if I had known it wasn't that easy & I wasn't the "Fertile Myrtle" my mom said I would be, I would have had a lot more fun in highschool!!

(trying to keep a sense of humor about this, can ya tell?)

[Ceres]

Dont be so quick to blame yourself. His sperm count may be reduced now from when he conceived his daughter, or it may just be the combination of the two of you that is just not very fertile, but not neccessarily infertile. With my first husband, it took me 13 monthes conceive and we did without fertility treatment or even knowing when I was ovulating. Try doing a general search on the Billings Method Birth Control to get a better idea when you are fertile. Ask in Helping Hands for some conceiving energy to be sent your way - it may help too.

[Cheetah]

I had my first pregnancy and miscarriage last weekend. My thoughts are with all you ladies. ITs a sad thing to go through alone.

[RainInanna]

Hello Cheetah, very sorry to hear about your loss. You are not alone though, feel free to share if you wish.

Another forum where I spend a lot of time that actually has lots of space for women who have had losses is at SheKnows - http://talk.sheknows.com/forumdisplay.php?f=58

[dr_pretentious]

I knew there had to be a Pagan infertility support group somewhere. Glad to find you folks.

I have PCOS. My husband and I have have served a sentence of a year and a half of IUI cycles, with time off for holidays and good behavior. We're nearing the end of that line, and now we're starting to scrounge for alternatives to IVF. I did actually manage to get pregnant once, for a whole week. On the one hand, it was good to find out that I actually could conceive, since that hadn't been a sure thing. On the other hand... well, some of you ladies know far more than I do about that other hand.

I also have fibromyalgia, and while I've been doing IUI cycles, I haven't been able to take much in the way of painkillers for my chronic pain. So now the spouse and I are taking some time off from the medicalization of our lives, to regroup and study up and figure out our options. Meanwhile, I get to take a break from 24/7 full-body pain. I'd be a lot happier about that if stopping the constant go-go-go of the IUI cycles didn't have such a sense of finality about it.

The bitter irony of being infertile while practicing a faith that is, in one of its many dimensions, a fertility cult, well, that's really starting to get to me lately.

[Semele]

I wish you the best of luck and mostly some enjoyment of life and an easy time coming up with alternatives while you rest. Alternatives are good to have in mind, not as an admission of failure but as a new goal to see. Sometimes we just have to keep that end picture in mind and we will relax into life. Often times the removal of the stress of the emotional strain you are putting on yourself (even straining to make yourself relax..I know your story for it is common) is enough to allow the body to make things happen, especially if its been paying attention during all these fertility lectures!

Get your other options in mind clearly first. There may be a reason you are being "forced" to go another route this time. Listen to your body....slap it into shape when you can if it says what you don't like. I did and have to gorgeous daughters as a result. Also still have some residual health issues to deal with as a result but I would do it all over again. Some would not. Not that it means anything either way because there are no do overs in this life. We do get a sort of road map to the easiest way or the most fruitful, if we pay attention to the clues and arrows along the way.

Sorry, got sidetracked but it relates. What if you can not physically, emotionally and financially keep up with the fertility treatments and you decide it is time to go on to plan B? Plan C? and even D?

Sometimes foster care provides all you can ever need in the area of parenting urges...and in a way it is better than the "real" thing because you get to give them back and trade them in for a whole new, interesting child that needs the one thing you long to give at that exact moment. Whether they have been yanked from an abusive home, starving and sick or from a perfectly fine home through some mistake or if they are just another child taken into custody from a meth-addicted mother who lost her parental rights to several other children, they all need love for as long as they are in foster care. Believe me that can and does vary. Another good thing about that is foster-adoption when and if the time is right.

Sorry to go on and on. Just felt like rambling.

[dr_pretentious]

Thank you for your kind wishes. And rambling is welcome.

[RainInanna]

The bitter irony of being infertile while practicing a faith that is, in one of its many dimensions, a fertility cult, well, that's really starting to get to me lately.

I can absolutely relate - having multiple miscarriages turned me away from Wicca specifically and also from the goddess in any form. Trying to identify with a divine feminine who is usually depicted as pregnant was impossible for a few years. I am just now able to turn towards the feminine outside of motherhood again.

I hope this break will give you a chance to relax and find some clarity, though I certainly know how difficult it can be to take a break at all.

[Agaliha]

I thought I'd add these links I found for another thread:


Remembering Lost Babies (http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0geutXyr7hERXsAlThXNyoA;_ylu=X3oDMTE2bmVkczQ3BGNvbG8DZQRsA1dTMQRwb3MDMQRzZWMDc3IEdnRpZANGNTYxX zc5/SIG=12h1563jb/EXP=1153040754/**http%3a//www.conceivingconcepts.com/learning/articles/0018.html) This has 9 ideas
Ways We Have Remembered Our Babies (http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0geutXyr7hERXsAnzhXNyoA;_ylu=X3oDMTE2YmI2ZG9oBGNvbG8DZQRsA1dTMQRwb3MDMwRzZWMDc3IEdnRpZANGNTYxX zc5/SIG=120oal5nk/EXP=1153040754/**http%3a//www.mend.org/newsletters/vol2iss1.htm) people's personal accounts
Remembering Our Babies (http://october15th.wahmweb.biz/Store/Default.asp)
To Mother with Love: Healing for Pregnancy Loss (http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0geupXKsLhEKnAA48pXNyoA;_ylu=X3oDMTE3ZWdhdW1lBGNvbG8DZQRsA1dTMQRwb3MDMTcEc2VjA3NyBHZ0aWQDRjU2M V83OQ--/SIG=11rosvptg/EXP=1153040970/**http%3a//www.mama2mama.org/ourangels.html)
The Newly Bereaved (http://www.aheartbreakingchoice.com/newly.html)
Remembering Our Babies, Pregnancy Loss Support - Official Site of Pregnancy & Infant Loss Rememberance Day October ... (http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0geurVWsbhEPfYA09pXNyoA;_ylu=X3oDMTE2NGxyYXNhBGNvbG8DZQRsA1dTMQRwb3MDNQRzZWMDc3IEdnRpZANGNTYxX zc5/SIG=11fnct8i7/EXP=1153041110/**http%3a//www.october15th.com/)
A Place To Remember (http://www.kinderstart.com/frame_for_links.php?redirect=http://www.APlaceToRemember.com)Support materials for those who have been touched by a crisis in pregnancy such as bed rest, premature birth or NICU infants, or the death of a baby--miscarriage, stillbirth, infant death, or SIDS
Baby Bunny (http://www.kinderstart.com/frame_for_links.php?redirect=http://www.babybunny.net)
Coping with the Emotional Aspects of Pregnancy Loss (http://www.kinderstart.com/frame_for_links.php?redirect=http://www.inciid.org/mismanl.html)
Pregnancy Loss (http://www.kinderstart.com/frame_for_links.php?redirect=http://www.childbirth.org/articles/pregnancy/Loss.html)
Remembering Baby (http://www.kinderstart.com/frame_for_links.php?redirect=http://pregnancy.about.com/health/pregnancy/library/weekly/aa120699a.htm)
Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Society (http://www.kinderstart.com/frame_for_links.php?redirect=http://www.uk-sands.org)
Remembering Our Babies Miscarriage and Infant Loss Peer Support and Referral (http://www.kinderstart.com/frame_for_links.php?redirect=http://www.rememberingourbabies.com)
Shared Journey (http://sharedjourney.com/loss.html) Useful information in detecting possible pregnancy loss, reasons for it, and coping with it.
Baby Loss Comfort (http://www.babylosskit.com/) Information, products and resources dealing with miscarriage, pregnancy loss, stillbirth, sudden infant death syndrome and infertility.
Pregnancy After A Loss (http://www.pregnancyafteraloss.com/)
Joshua's Boxes (http://www.joshuasboxes.co.uk/) charity dedicated to helping gather memories of a lost baby.
A Butterfly's Touch (http://www.abutterflystouch.org/) Non-profit corporation whose purpose is to provide support and mementos to parents experiencing infant loss.
Faith's Loss Support Pages (http://www.geocities.com/babyangelfaith2001/index.html) Offering poems, suggested reading, and ideas of ways to memorialize a child lost.
Angel Babies (http://130.95.13.25/~corrin/) Support site for miscarriage, eptopic pregnancies, and stillbirth. Stories, poetry, message boards, and access to support networks.
Precious Memories & Keepsakes (http://www.geocities.com/precious_memories_uk/index)There are also many books about this subject as well.

[soul_searcher]

Wow I saw that a few women here have PCOS as well. I have PCOS, autoimmune thyroid disease with an underactive thyroid as well as insulin resistance and a fibroid tumor (anything else??!??).

I just went to my GYN the other day and found out about the fibroid tumor which is scary but it is always noncancerous. Still yet, it can lead to having to have a hysterectomy as well as permanent infertility. He has arranged for me to go to an Endocrinologist (FINALLY) as well as a fertility specialist. But the way it is looking, I will never be able to have children :( My hubby and I have been married for over 3 years now and not used any protection, b/c, or anything and still not gotten pg. Now with the thyroid problems on top of the pcos and all the other things too, I really feel in my heart of hearts that it will never happen :(

This is devastating as we both really want children more than words could ever express :(

To all of you who have lost children, had miscarriages, or are having infertility problems, I am so very deeply sorry for your hardships :( Please take comfort in knowing that you are not alone.

[Upside Daisy Down]

I can absolutely relate - having multiple miscarriages turned me away from Wicca specifically and also from the goddess in any form. Trying to identify with a divine feminine who is usually depicted as pregnant was impossible for a few years. I am just now able to turn towards the feminine outside of motherhood again.

I hope this break will give you a chance to relax and find some clarity, though I certainly know how difficult it can be to take a break at all.

You know, I hadn't thought of this before...As a matter of fact, I have sort of leaned the opposite way. It was the two miscarriages I've had in the past year and this new pregnancy that brought me back to my pagan roots.

Not that I ever had to conscious thought that I was being "punished" or anything like that for my lapse in practicing my faith, but that perhaps it would fortify my fertility and pregnancy if I renewed my devotion to "Mother Earth" and the Goddess...

Funny, I'd never really given any real thought to the correlation, though.

[RainInanna]

Interesting :) I was devoted to the earth goddess/Gaia so it was quite a difficult hurdle.

[FeatherGoblinglimmer]

I had a miscarriage in the beggining of September. It was my second pregnancy but the first time i'd known about it. With my first i was blissfully unaware until labour. I was 7 weeks gone. I started bleeding after a hard shopping trip for the week. i napped and woke up to me bleeding. We phoned my midwife who never answered her phone for the gruelling 3 days i was bleeding. After the three days of heavy period like bleeding i miscarried. The scans confirmed that. Didn't need a sweep, my body handled it by itself. 2 days of sheer agony mentally and physically. I still grieve and i'm finding it hard to let go. My daughter doesn't understand what happens and still asks about the baby in my tummy. it hurts so much. I have lost a lot of my faith through this. I just can't feel anything spiritual at all. I am empty.

[Lauren Michele]

First and foremost I am so sorry for all of the loss that has happened to such sweet people.

I was 8 months pregnant, everything was going perfect. My baby shower was days away. One night, I woke up and I knew something was wrong. I felt an emptiness I cannot describe. My fear turned out to be true. My baby had died inside of me and I was never given a reason why. I had to carry her for 10 days knowing she had passed on because my doctor wanted me to go into natural labor. Which I did not. I was induced and on the 11 th day, I had her. I can talk about it now for it was 16 years ago, without crying. It does get better. You never forget, and you don't need to because it was a life but time does heal like they say.

Thank you~

[Lauren Michele]

My message was to hopefully make someone in pain know there is hope. I will light a white candle and pray that someone's pain be eleviated day by day. Losing a baby was the hardest pain I had to endure and I feel for you mom's.
Lauren~

[SilentDreams]

And continuing on my H&B (early) "spring-cleaning" I'm going to unsticky this thread. I know this is an important thread but there hasn't been any activity for 3 months. But I am in the early stages of developing a FAQ for H&B and I'll not forget to include this one! :)

[Tanya]

is sounds do=umb but my chicken hatched chicks two days ago.. and it rained and her nest got flooded and they all died.

I'm a farm girl, i have seen hundreds of dead baby animals.. but these, I literally couldn't let go of...I wasn't sure I was sure the were dead, I had to keep going back to the compost heap and checking these tiny little corpses to be sure....

finally I just turned the heap so i couldn't keep checking and looking...

I think it was about me loosing a baby this year... not about chickens at all...

and i'm filled with such unutterable sadness..I've been weeping at the stupidest things for the past 2 days...

then I got my period, I'ld forgotten how it feels, I've been so screwed up so long from the miscarriage, this is only the second period I've had since April.. i thought I was getting the flu...

[RainInanna]

I'm sorry. That would be a harsh reminder for me too.

[Ceres]

I think it was about me loosing a baby this year... not about chickens at all...

and i'm filled with such unutterable sadness..I've been weeping at the stupidest things for the past 2 days...




So its about losing the baby....you are weeping for your lost baby, not about stupid things. I am glad your grief came sooner rather than later. Its better, I think. :hugs:

[Brigid Rowan]

Im so sorry for your loss, Tanya..and grief and tears come at the weirdest times after we loose someone we love. When my brother died, I cried a ton...but for whatever reason, it was at the ten year mark of his death that I really lost it and sobbed my hardest..

[WillowsMuse]

Just some {{{hugs}}}

[alwaysfallingup]

Before, all I ever wanted was to have my period so that I would know that my body was starting to work again. Now, after not having one for years, I've finally got it back by bringing my body back into a more healthy and balanced state. But now, every month I have a reminder that after six years, I'm still not pregnant.

It's been a hard few days.

[RainInanna]

I can sympathize with you on that. *hugs*

[Tanya]

I dreamed of chicks again last night... at least this time they were alive..

It doesn't help in my family that the babies are always called "Chicken Little"

snifff..

[alwaysfallingup]

Tanya, my thoughts are with you. *hugs* I personally have never had a pregnancy, and thus, have never lost a child, but I've been with my mom when she has, and I know that she had a lot of dreams that haunted her afterwards both times. I hope that your sleep brings you solace soon.

[Tanya]

awwww I'm fine.... I'm ugly and I'm stinky... and chicken dreams aren't gettin me down.

hugs to you back.. wanting and never getting is a saddness I've never had, but I imagine must be shattering.

[WillowsMuse]

**deep sigh** many {{{hugs}}} it took us five years to have bain and i believe desperate is how i would describe myself after a years of trying.

Before, all I ever wanted was to have my period so that I would know that my body was starting to work again. Now, after not having one for years, I've finally got it back by bringing my body back into a more healthy and balanced state. But now, every month I have a reminder that after six years, I'm still not pregnant.

It's been a hard few days.

[alwaysfallingup]

awwww I'm fine.... I'm ugly and I'm stinky... and chicken dreams aren't gettin me down.

hugs to you back.. wanting and never getting is a saddness I've never had, but I imagine must be shattering.)

_pounce_ I'm glad you aren't letting those any old dreams bring ya down! But, just in case, maybe ah herbal dream pillow is in order? Just to get some soft sleep and spoil yourself a little. Might even help with the stinky part.:weirdsmil

And, most days I do really well. It just comes over me really suddenly, and surprises me with how much it still hurts. But, today was a good day, and those outnumber the bad days.

[alwaysfallingup]

**deep sigh** many {{{hugs}}} it took us five years to have bain and i believe desperate is how i would describe myself after a years of trying.

I can understand that feeling. It got to a point once where my thoughts ran to the ridiculous and desperate every time I heard that another friend was expecting. Preston and I are actually going to be foster parents and are planning on adopting waiting children. I know for a fact that I will love every child who comes into our home just as much as any birth parent ever did. But, it still surprises me how disappointed and miserable I feel every time I see that blood. I tell myself that it's silly and I don't even hope to be pregnant any more, but that doesn't stop me from being crushed.

As soon as we're in a bigger place, I get to set up bedrooms, buy clothes, and do everything any new mom does. Except carry the child. I know that parenting is more important to me than pregnancy, but I also know that adopting isn't going to automatically "cure" the feelings associated with my infertility, no matter how happy I am as a new mom.

I'm really glad I found this forum.

[WillowsMuse]

I am here if you need anything. Please use me if you need an ear, a shoulder...feedback. I have not adopted or fostered, but I have been going through infertility for 12 years and been down many roads.

Lena


I can understand that feeling. It got to a point once where my thoughts ran to the ridiculous and desperate every time I heard that another friend was expecting. Preston and I are actually going to be foster parents and are planning on adopting waiting children. I know for a fact that I will love every child who comes into our home just as much as any birth parent ever did. But, it still surprises me how disappointed and miserable I feel every time I see that blood. I tell myself that it's silly and I don't even hope to be pregnant any more, but that doesn't stop me from being crushed.

As soon as we're in a bigger place, I get to set up bedrooms, buy clothes, and do everything any new mom does. Except carry the child. I know that parenting is more important to me than pregnancy, but I also know that adopting isn't going to automatically "cure" the feelings associated with my infertility, no matter how happy I am as a new mom.

I'm really glad I found this forum.

[alwaysfallingup]

I am here if you need anything. Please use me if you need an ear, a shoulder...feedback. I have not adopted or fostered, but I have been going through infertility for 12 years and been down many roads.

Lena

Lena,

Thank you so much! An offer like that means the world to me. I think that it takes experiencing infertility yourself to really understand what it feels like. I mean, anyone can imagine and feel empathetic, but unless you've been there for a couple of years, you just can't wrap your mind around the depth of the feelings, I think. I'll definitely keep your offer tucked away for a blue day!

~Alisha~

[Faerin]

I'm so sorry for those who are trying to get pregnant and cannot, and for those who have miscarried.

I hope maybe my recent diagnosis can help someone with similar problems that I have experienced.

I started my period when I was 15, which is a bit late. I was never regular until put on birth control. At age 21 I stopped using BC and went back to being irregular. My doctor's just said "some people are not regular" and they never really did any tests. They concurred that I would probably need medical help to get pregnant.

At age 24 I got pregnant and had my son. For 7 years I have not been on birth control and have not gotten pregnant (I am married w/ a healthy sex life). About 4 months ago I was on my period (I have one about every 3 to 6 months) and it just would not stop. After a month of heavy bleeding I went to my doctor and requested she do some blood tests.

The results were in....I was recently diagnosed as having hypothyroidism. I have had it for probably 15 years without it ever being diagnosed.

Please, if anyone here can relate to my symptoms, have a test done. Here are some more symptoms:

Hair loss
Fatigue
Irregular periods
irritability
infertility
low basal temperature (take your temp, most people are 98.7...mine has always been at about 97.5 - this is a good way to self test)
thin nails
coarse hair
dry skin
intolerance to cold

There are thousands of women who are never diagnosed w/ hypothyroidsm who have it. I hope this has helped someone.

I wish everyone the best of luck and may the goddess bless you all!

[alwaysfallingup]

So, today has been a hard day. I found out that two friends are pregnant, both after only a month of trying. We were called about Preston's family holiday gift exchange (his parents buy for everyone, but the kids usually draw names) and were asked if we minded being left out because they were thinking of only exchanging for the children (they later amended it after Preston expressed that it made us feel left out), and I found out that Preston's mom had told him that maybe we just weren't trying hard enough.

I've been crying for a while now and just feel really drained and hurt. I can't believe that woman would have the audacity to suggest we just needed to try harder. After six years TTC. It's probably good she said this to Preston and not me, because I'd have told her to go to hell. I'm actually thinking of calling her and saying it now.

I'm afraid the holidays are going to be really hard this year.

~Alisha~

[RainInanna]

I'm sorry, Alisha. It is horrifying the insensitive things people can say. People don't realize how hard the holidays can be when you're left out of things like that. Sometimes when they're called on it they try to defend themself with whatever they can spit out.

[alwaysfallingup]

I'm just already a little raw at this time of year, especially with some many people I know making pregnancy announcements. But, I feel better now. I'm really trying to keep positive. I think part of the problem is that I'm PMS-y on top of everything else, and instead of angry, I get weepy at that time of the month. But, Preston's mom really upset me, after all the doctor's appointments and tests and heartache, thinking that we just "weren't trying." Blech.

[WillowsMuse]

I'm so sorry people can be so thoughtless...and I'm sorry you hurt. Gentle {{{hugs}}}

[alwaysfallingup]

Thank you very much, RainInnana and WillowsMuse. It really means a lot to me. *hugs* :smile:

[Tanya]

my sister had her baby 2 days ago.. strangely, I was at the funeral of a friend of mine's father... and I just started crying, even though I never met the man...

and not even a sad crying... just a....loss.. loss all around.. for my friend... for me... for all the good and beautiful tings... that come so fast and go... and all the things that manage to endure....I should be 6 months pregnant right now...

and i don't feel angery or jeleous. but more tender for my sister's new son than I had for her last... she was telling me on the phone how small he was... and I could hear in her voice that sound of a mother talking about her baby.. and clearly,..falling madly in love with him.. and I just loved her more to hear that in her voice.... and the new little guy too!

has anyone else named their misscarried babies?

[RainInanna]

Just wanna make sure no one misses the thread with links for surviving the holidays (http://mysticwicks.com/showthread.php?t=176444), thanks for that, alwaysfallingup.

Yes, I named each child. I don't know why, the first two felt like girls and the second two like boys.

[alwaysfallingup]

Yeah, I posted that in the general forum because I thought it might be helpful for those with family members dealing with infertility to read it, too, so I wanted them to be able to find it.

[alwaysfallingup]

Tanya, I think it's normal and healthy to name a baby who never made it to term.

Three years ago, my sister found out she was pregnant from a one night stand. The guy offered to pay for an abortion, but she felt like she couldn't do that because of her beliefs. She also was very young and at at point in her life when she couldn't take care of herself, let alone someone else. So she offered to let Preston and I adopt the baby.

We were shocked at the offer, but said yes immediately and got really excited. We started buying clothes and getting ready. Preston asked me to wait to paint the nursery and such, and I told him I would, but secretly picked out all the colors and trimmings. He was probably a lot smarter about it than I was, because he could see that she wasn't changing her life to accommodate the new life inside her. She wasn't able to kick her meth habit long enough to carry and lost the baby at six months. I felt like I had miscarried myself, and really fell apart for a while. I was angry at her, and lonely, and felt like my only chance to be a mom was gone. I mourned and grieved and felt sure that it was a girl, and felt called to the name Molly. I honored Molly at Samhain along with my Great-Grandma who passed that same year.

So, I named a miscarried child that wasn't even mine. I think that you're definitely doing something that's pretty universal.

[WillowsMuse]

has anyone else named their misscarried babies?

My first, a chemical pregnancy, I called Nature Boy. My second, lost at 8.5 weeks, I called Possum. My third, lost at 6.5 weeks, I called Newt. My fourth...well, I ran out hope, I suppose.

And, of course, I named River (well, my husband and I named him). He was born at almost 16 weeks.


{{{Hugs}}}

[Brooked]

Red Rasberry Leaf is a good herbal tonic, strenthens the female reproductive system. Also try a Lunar Ovulation chart. Women ovulate sometimes in sync to their lunar cycle when they were born. Good luck, and baby dust to you dear.

[Rainsong]

I've been married for over 11 years and we have been trying to have a baby pretty much from day 1 of our marriage. 11 years of nothing. Fertility drugs didn't work. I ovulate fine yet I've never even gotten pregnant in that time.

My body is fine I guess. I used to be irregular but haven't been for years. He has a mildly lower sperm count but not enought to be a problem according to the doctors.

The only thing I have ever wanted is to be a mom. We can't afford in-vitro so I guess we're out of luck. Every month when my period starts I cry and get depressed for about a week.

It doesn't help that I have a circle of friends and co-workers that is pretty large (11 women) and all but myself have had a baby in the past 2 years. Thats 10 babi