Advice--Coming out of the broom closet

[ThoraoftheNord]

Well, I couldn't find a thread like this, though I'm fairly sure there is something like this. Anyway, I'll start another one, I guess.

I am planning on telling my parents that I am pagan this summer. I'm finishing up the last week of college, and thought I would tell them within the first week of me being back home.

I have been pagan for little over a year now, and only didn't tell them earlier because I didn't want them thinking it was a trend or something like that. I wanted more experience, and to make sure that I was actually serious about it. I figured that if I continued on my path even through the first year of college and the whole dorm experience, that I would definitly be serious enough that I should tell them.

Sure, a few people have asked me why I want to tell my parents. Frankly, I'm tired of leading a "double life" at home. Paganism is such a big part of my life, that by hiding it, I'm hiding a large chunk of who I am. I'm tired of it.

I have a feeling that my parents will take it fairly well, but, I really don't know. Neither are very religious. We go to church for xmas and easter, but only because doing so is a family tradition. My mother's parents do go to church regularily, so, they might be the only concern, but I'm not sure that i would tell them; just my parents, really. And my father, well, he's an interesting character. He is what I would call faithless. Not atheist, mind you, but just faithless. Anyway, I guess what I'm saying is that I don't think there will be any major conflicts with it, but I'm really just not sure.

So, I'm just looking for advice, or maybe stories of how others told their families about being pagan.

Oh, and if there is a thread like this--I wouldn't be surpirsed--that I missed, sorry.

[Redshire]

I never really "told" my parents about my spirituality. My mom was there when I bought my first book on witchcraft, and I read her the speach I had written on Wicca for my speech class (oh my young angsty days!). BOth parents have seen my pentacle neacklace, and I mention my Pagan activities to my mom. We even did something together last Midsummer, very nice indeed!

Both of my parents avoid churches like the plague. Mom is very spiritual, and believes in Jesus, but is also very-VERY Pagan (she just doesnt know it). Dad is agnostic to a T, doesnt ever think about it or worry over spiritual things.

So they know, and they are completely fine with it. Mom actually is just hoping her 2 kids find that spiritual aspect of life.

I have 2 Pagan and lesbian aunts, so they kinda softned the fundie Christian part of the family, though I havent "said" anything to them about it. I dont really feel the need.

My family is awesome. :D


From you post and your description of your parents, I doubt you will have any issues.

[wolf]

For me it pretty much went ...

"Mom, you know how I haven't been catholic since I was about 13, right?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I just wanted to let you know that I'm a pagan."

"Oh. Okay. You aren't using any drugs are you?"

"No, I'm still not."

"Okay."

End of discussion, although that was about 15 years ago, and she still thinks it's a phase. I'm now 44. I don't have phases anymore.

[ThoraoftheNord]

Ya, I probably won't have any issues. I worry alot, I guess. :hahugh:

Well, thanks for the replies. I guess I might just have to see if any obvious opportunities arise for "the telling" lol. Such as unpacking the thirty some pagan books I'll have brought back from the dorm. :D

[CelticMoon11]

I bought a bunch of books, set up an altar, told my parents to stay out of my room and that was about it :lol: never actually told them and they never really cared my mum said 'as long as you dont sacrifice the cats or get blood or wax on the carpet i dont care what you do' and that was it lol

[Novembers River]

To me it sounds like your parents are pretty open and would be respectful of your choice. Of course only you really know, but that's the impression I've gathered from your post.

If you feel comfortable doing so, tell them. I would love to tell my parents. I don't think my Dad would think much of anything about it (he's not very religious) but my Mom is a Catholic and I don't feel like she would take it as easily.

It definitely would be a load off your shoulders. And who knows, they may be accepting to the point of joining in on some of your celebrations.

[RhiannynWildseed]

I've been Pagan going on 11 years now (9 of which I've been open with everyone BUT my family). I started researching different aspects when I was 16, but I started studying in ernest when I turned 18 and got married. My husband has been a Pagan for about 25 years now, so obviously I was able to be more open about my beliefs.

Telling my mother would be akin to dropping an atomic bomb. No joke.

I know eventually I will have to, but even after 11 years, I'm not ready. My mother is...histrionic. She tried to convince me to baptize my son, and when I refused, she locked herself in her bedroom and cried for 3 days. I tried the best way that I could...the politest way that I could...to explain that I wasn't Christian and didn't believe in the bible or the teachings of the church.

Now, my mother is smart despite her melodramatic episodes, and really should be able to put 2 and 2 together without me having to whip out a big pentacle and scream "I'm a Pagan! I'm a Pagan!" I think she knows, but I think she chooses to pretend she doesn't. She's made little comments here and there in the past that tell me she's not blind to it all, but she won't come right out and ask me.

I guess until the day that I get that tingling feeling that says "Tell your family." I'll just keep my business to myself and let her live in blessed ignorance. :whatmewor

[Philosophia]

When I told my parents, they just said "don't burn the house down, don't sacrifice any of the pets, don't fly your broom while drunk, don't party with demons, and don't scare the neighbours."

They tease me a bit, especially about my besom and cauldron, but they really don't care...
Good luck! :hugz:

[Crysiira]

I don't want to scare you away from doing it, but I thought my parents were relaxed and pretty open-minded too. Then I told them. My mom got a little insane, and suddenly we were going to church every week, and even that didn't feel like enough for her, she tried to convince me to go to the daily mass. It was like she thought since she had lapsed on taking us to church, that was why I ended up in an alternative religion. You might have a better time of it since you are already grown up and out of the house. I always wanted to wait to tell them until I was out of the house as well, since I thought it might cause less trouble, but I got tired of keeping what I believed a secret. I understand the double-life feeling all too perfectly. I mean, my parents have mellowed out with time, but my mom still gets into her moods. The last time I visited them, I wore my pentacle, like I always do, but she got a little spazzy and told me to tuck it under my shirt because she "didn't like it." It hurt a lot; I thought we had gotten past all of that. Now, with my wedding coming up, I'm incorporating all of these handfasting traditions into it, and that's causing some issues too. I tell her that these are Celtic traditions, not even specific to Pagans, and that perfectly Christian people have done them; but she still has issues. I hope you are much luckier than I am, I really do.

[Amelserru_halqu]

I say if you rely on your parents don't upset them, they might pull your funding. I will probably never tell my parents because I just don't care, besides I can't explain it to them so why bother? But that said, go for it if you think it will turn out alright, and be prepared to lose their support and have them become a burden. But most likely for you they won't care, especially if you explain it to them thoroughly and leave nothing out (demon summoning and such too if you do it). Most importantly don't attack their faith, or lack there of, you just might encourage them to do something dangerous like attend church every week or something (dangerous for you I mean), after all exorcisms hurt.

: )