what do you do?

[Infinite Muse]

I didn't know where to put this topic, sorry if its the wrong forum.
I am not new to the path I follow. I am not new to the town I live in; its the same one I grew up in, no matter how many times I leave for jobs and schools and such I have always come back to this little hole.
They all "know" that I'm a little different.
But they all still just think I am off-beat and still Christian. They don't seem to get it that I am a solitary pagan-wiccan type (don't know what label to put on it; never have known) and anti-Christian/anti-"mass-religion".
Now normally this never comes up in everyday conversation, but I find I am really really uncomfortable when they start the "god" talk and expect me to just follow along with their beliefs. I even took a bible study course from a door-to-door Jesus-Seller who had a temple nearby. (sorry if anyone is offended by that term, that is not my intention; I just forget what association she was with). She was a nice lady, I found I just couldn't tell her "no".
Now I am not really "in-the-broom-closet" so to speak, people who are close to me know that I am to the general population of where I live "not normal".
But I really don't know how to deal with those intimate conversations with strangers who just assume I am Christian. SHort of telling them "no I'm ---" and watching their gob-smacked expression, what would you do????
Its a small town (<200folks); everybody knows everybody. And everybody else knows your business from your 'time of the month' on down to your dental appointments and all the gossip gets magnified a thousand times before it hits the fourth set of hungry ears.
Its starting to get really frustrating.

[Grimr]

I didn't know where to put this topic, sorry if its the wrong forum.
I am not new to the path I follow. I am not new to the town I live in; its the same one I grew up in, no matter how many times I leave for jobs and schools and such I have always come back to this little hole.
They all "know" that I'm a little different.
But they all still just think I am off-beat and still Christian. They don't seem to get it that I am a solitary pagan-wiccan type (don't know what label to put on it; never have known) and anti-Christian/anti-"mass-religion".
Now normally this never comes up in everyday conversation, but I find I am really really uncomfortable when they start the "god" talk and expect me to just follow along with their beliefs. I even took a bible study course from a door-to-door Jesus-Seller who had a temple nearby. (sorry if anyone is offended by that term, that is not my intention; I just forget what association she was with). She was a nice lady, I found I just couldn't tell her "no".
Now I am not really "in-the-broom-closet" so to speak, people who are close to me know that I am to the general population of where I live "not normal".
But I really don't know how to deal with those intimate conversations with strangers who just assume I am Christian. SHort of telling them "no I'm ---" and watching their gob-smacked expression, what would you do????
Its a small town (<200folks); everybody knows everybody. And everybody else knows your business from your 'time of the month' on down to your dental appointments and all the gossip gets magnified a thousand times before it hits the fourth set of hungry ears.
Its starting to get really frustrating.

I am often in these circumstances too.

When they speak about their belief in God be respectful and honorable to the best of your abilities.

I don't like or agree with anything of their beliefs , but this does not make it right for me to be unkind to them in person or uncivil.

Also tell them about your beliefs as well respectfully and let them know.

If they start getting insulting then you have every right to defend yourself in conversation in all means.

This is my take.

[Xentor]

You are free to choose to tell anyone about your beliefs. If you wish to keep it secret, then feel justified in doing so by the constitution of your country.

In a conversation with Christians, allow them to believe what they want. Unless it's obvious they wish to be lectured about other possible paths, or if you wish to live on the wild side, simply agree or refrain from commenting. You can agree on the outside and disagree on the inside at the same time. It takes some getting used to, but I believe the correct term here is "politics".

Defend yourself only when attacked directly. If they think you are a fellow Christian, they will probably not even think of attacking you personally because of your beliefs. However, if you throw your beliefs into their faces, you had better be ready to be out of the closet.

[-Sky-]

I didn't know where to put this topic, sorry if its the wrong forum.
I am not new to the path I follow. I am not new to the town I live in; its the same one I grew up in, no matter how many times I leave for jobs and schools and such I have always come back to this little hole.
They all "know" that I'm a little different.
But they all still just think I am off-beat and still Christian. They don't seem to get it that I am a solitary pagan-wiccan type (don't know what label to put on it; never have known) and anti-Christian/anti-"mass-religion".
Now normally this never comes up in everyday conversation, but I find I am really really uncomfortable when they start the "god" talk and expect me to just follow along with their beliefs. I even took a bible study course from a door-to-door Jesus-Seller who had a temple nearby. (sorry if anyone is offended by that term, that is not my intention; I just forget what association she was with). She was a nice lady, I found I just couldn't tell her "no".
Now I am not really "in-the-broom-closet" so to speak, people who are close to me know that I am to the general population of where I live "not normal".
But I really don't know how to deal with those intimate conversations with strangers who just assume I am Christian. SHort of telling them "no I'm ---" and watching their gob-smacked expression, what would you do????
Its a small town (<200folks); everybody knows everybody. And everybody else knows your business from your 'time of the month' on down to your dental appointments and all the gossip gets magnified a thousand times before it hits the fourth set of hungry ears.
Its starting to get really frustrating.

Oh i totally understand you!I live in a "little hole" too.It's a small town and as my parents are well-known here,everybody knows me and is focused on me.And just like your case,they believe that i am a Christian although they have noticed my interest on the supernatural and the fact that i no longer appear in mass.
haha seeing their gob-smacked expression wouldn't be bad.I think that you should be respectful of their christian beliefs even if you dislike them(this is what i always tell my pagan best friend too) but at the same time let them know that their truth is not your truth.I don't think that you should stay in the darkness and not express your real self.
A for gossip....If i could kill all the gossipers in this town i would!Sometimes i think,why do they even care?But the sad thing is that they do.They probably have boring lifes so they live ours.Don't mind them!Try to be different.A greek actress said:"Questions answered in public still remain questions and questions never answered are forgotten".

Hope i make sense,i'm tired
Blessings,
~Anna

[Jonathan Brisby]

Try not to worry about it- mistakes lead to learning and growth

[Tanya]

I agree with Dracon, the best thing you can do to make pagans look good is speak seriously about your own beliefs and be respectful of the beliefs of others. Taking this approach I have never had my beliefs treated with derision after the 1st one or two sentances, and often as not, I end up having a wonderfully enriching conversation with religious people that nearly always ends with them saying
"You know I'm so glad we had this talk, I never could believe you were the Satan worshiping type, I knew that couldn't be right, knowing you. This has been really interesting."

Later, its happened several times, I've seen a book about Wicca on their coffee table next time I happen to visit them.

My mother, such a good Catholic that she won't divorce my abusive father told me a few days ago.. "i went to a seminar the Unitarians were holding on Wicca, and it was just lovely..."

Another Catholic, the mother of an old BF lately asked me if I knew any good writers about 'croning'.. she used to be one of those folks who thought I was a Devil worshiper.

[BohemianMare]

When my ex-fiance visited here for the first time, he was in awe of how many churches we have in and around town. I've been lucky that the only time I ever was confronted about wearing a pentacle was by a nice old Jewish man. Though I have stopped wearing one, opting for a celtic cross currently. But I've been lucky...

Personally, I think it's very important to the 'greater Pagan good' that we respect the beliefs of others around us. We want our first ammendment rights to be acknowledged, but we can't except to recieve what we're not willing to give ourselves. That being said, we also do have the right to be out of the broom closet and live without shame. It's a delicate balance, but I think most of us pull it off fairley well.

[Golliath]

"I really don't know hot to answer your question"

"I believe in god but not in a similar viewable way"

"I just can't follow what your saying *blank stare*"

"Hmmm, maybe..."

"So! Want some tea?!"

And if you really want to be open about your relegion...


"Sorry but I can't follow your path"

"I just can't agree with your beliefs"

"I ride on a broom, I eat babys, and -remember that stolen goat???- yeah; that was me. Baltane sacrifice =/"


That's all I can think of.


When I 'came out' I sort of made it jokingly so I can see a certain reaction and continued with "But no, really, I am a witch..."


Hope this helped ^^


:fpipesmok


PS. I know how you feel as I had to go through the same thing. I live in a town here in sleepy florida where EVERYONE (not exagerating) is Greek. or at least Greek Orthodox Christian. So yeah. Not the best of things. (greeks around here are --known-- for their gossip bla bla bla... END PS.

[Semjaza]

I pay lip-service to Christianity when I have to, which isn't often (weddings, funerals), and if someone assumes I'm Christian, that's fine by me. Normally I let on that I'm not that religious at all. Saying that I follow the Horned Master really isn't going to go over well, no matter how open-minded the person I'm talking to is.

Of course, the difficulty here is that I don't know much about Christianity, having been raised in the Baha'i Faith, which if anything is closer to Islam and Sufism. I take my cues from my mother, who has no problem bowing her head in a Christian church when the dude at the front says, 'Let us pray,' even if she herself doesn't have much respect for it, she will respect it for others.

Hope you find a solution that works for you.

Cheers,

Semjaza
FFFF

My out of the broom closet experience at 13:

"Hey Mom, remember when I was little, I wanted to join the Catholic church and become a nun dedicated to Mary? Well, guess what?"

[moonbride]

I pay lip-service to Christianity when I have to, which isn't often (weddings, funerals), and if someone assumes I'm Christian, that's fine by me. Normally I let on that I'm not that religious at all. Saying that I follow the Horned Master really isn't going to go over well, no matter how open-minded the person I'm talking to is.

Of course, the difficulty here is that I don't know much about Christianity, having been raised in the Baha'i Faith, which if anything is closer to Islam and Sufism. I take my cues from my mother, who has no problem bowing her head in a Christian church when the dude at the front says, 'Let us pray,' even if she herself doesn't have much respect for it, she will respect it for others.

I totally do the same thing. Weddings, funerals, baccalaureate... sometimes attending things such as these are inevitable and I just try to fit in and respect what's going on.

However, I don't feel the need to explain to anyone the way I think or believe. I guess you could say I'm still sorta in the "broom closet"... not many people know the way I think, feel and believe aside from the closest people in my life. So it's just not something that's normally up for discussion with me... especially with strangers.

What I don't tolerate are the door to door people. I absolutely will not tolerate people who come to me on my property and try to tell me how to think, feel and believe. I just don't like people coming to my door for anything like that... whether it be salespeople or religious folks. There are enough walmarts in this world and enough churches in this world... AND in my town... that if I wanted something, or wanted to worship something, I could very well get there on my own. I try not to be disrepectful at first, but I have had it happen more than a few times where, especially the religious folks, will try and put their hand in my door and keep me from shutting it, have even had one grab my arm to try and not let me get away! That just made it worse for me!

So I have a little painted sign out on my front porch now that fits in with the country theme of my house/decorating that says

"If you're preachin' or peddlin'... GET PACKIN"

LOL... I've seen more than a few people from the window come up on my front porch, read that sign and scratch their head trying to figure out what to do and luckily for them, more often than not they just turn around and walk away.

[Negruperla]

We are religious too! Come on!
When they talk about God I just listen to them but no one's asked my religion for now and I've never said what I am... So that's none of their business. I can respect any religion and every one can do this... can't they? Don't worry!

What could be happened if you don't go to Church on Sundays?
Sun-day is our holiday :) So? :lookwhats

[David19]

I agree with what everyone else has said, just be respectful about Christian beliefs (don't start going on about how the Church 'stole' this or that, etc), i think this might be a Christian saying, but i like it, 'treat others how you wish to be treated', in other words, treat other religions (whether there Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, other 'pagan' religions, etc) as you want your own to be treated.

Hope i've helped :).

[angle kitsune]

my best friend's family is Christian and we are like family,all of us for years,even befor I became wiccan. my best friend has known from the start,I just told her family a year agow but our aunt lois still thinks I'm Christian but thats fine by me,I never told her I was and I never said I wasent so she shouldent know. I often go to church with their family,its a small church mostly made up of two families but there are two or three small familys that also go to it. the Paster,Sid knows and he still keeps pointing out how well I act,even when they are talking about demons and witches of the bible,I bow my head when they pray,I also pray with them just not the same as them. I really dont feel out of place in that church and if it gets to be to much for me I just step out side for a few.

last thing,at work just last Friday I had a run in with the nicest old paster,a vet also with battle scares. I work at carrs so I was doing a carry out for him and his wife. he looked to by about 60 years old,started preaching to me,my pentical was under my work shirt to save myself from alot of fighting,a church is right next door and well that would not go over to good every sunday but i'm getting off topic agean. he dident preach about how they believe,but how powerfull faith is,how it can save your life and other things like that adding in the normal "god loves you" and "god made you just the way you are for a reason" ect. then he asked if I was Christian. he was so kind and I do agree with his feelings with faith and I was on the clock so I really dident have time to fight with the old man,I said yes and he was pleased. I guess he saw something on my face or in my eyes cuz he looked at me and said I was not,but that it was ok,that no matter what faith you have,if it keeps you from doing all the stuff that would get you in the Christian hell then what names you use don't matter. I don't know,It just was nice to here a Christian paster think like that when most Christians do not..

anyway just say what ever best fits you.

[Amythyst]

If I'm stuck with narrow minded, argumentative people and would prefer to dodge the crap flying around, I simply tell them that it is my policy not to discuss religion or politics. Then don't.