Do Crushes Go Away?

[MysticWitch]

I fell in "love" with this boy when I was 12 years old.
12 years later I still think about him daily and I still "miss" him and I don't know why. He has been in some of my dreams and I like him alot still after so many years.
When I was 12 I asked him out and he said no because his gf broke up with him and he didnt want another girl friend. Then he made a move 6 months later and instead of being 12 and all ga ga and asked him out again, I gave him a dirty look cause I was upset he would even give me a chance when he said he didnt want to date me. :lol:
Stupid puppy love.. so why does my heart stull flutter when I look into his eyes when I see him, he stares at me like he is eating my soul but he never talks to me nor do I talk to him and its killing me...
I dont know when crushes go away :awilly:

[CheshireEyes]

You just have to confront it, and be prepared for whatever comes, good or bad....

[MysticWitch]

You just have to confront it, and be prepared for whatever comes, good or bad....


How :foh:

[CheshireEyes]

How :foh:
....kiss him....
If he kisses you back, go from there....
If he pushes you away, just, um, go.....
.... at least you'll know, right?

[MysticWitch]

....kiss him....
If he kisses you back, go from there....
If he pushes you away, just, um, go.....
.... at least you'll know, right?


:lol: Um no lol I am in a relationship and have a family 8O

[CheshireEyes]

:lol: Um no lol I am in a relationship and have a family 8O


Oops! hehe

My you ARE in a quandry aren't you?:lol:

[Deranged Hermit]

I fell in "love" with this boy when I was 12 years old.
12 years later I still think about him daily and I still "miss" him and I don't know why. He has been in some of my dreams and I like him alot still after so many years.
When I was 12 I asked him out and he said no because his gf broke up with him and he didnt want another girl friend. Then he made a move 6 months later and instead of being 12 and all ga ga and asked him out again, I gave him a dirty look cause I was upset he would even give me a chance when he said he didnt want to date me. :lol:
Stupid puppy love.. so why does my heart stull flutter when I look into his eyes when I see him, he stares at me like he is eating my soul but he never talks to me nor do I talk to him and its killing me...
I dont know when crushes go away :awilly:

ah, I think you have a bad case of "what might have been" syndrome. :D You never got over your crush, because you never dated and saw how it turned out. As far as a solution for you, um, stop looking into his eyes! _tsk_ :hugz:
I've always gotten fleeting crushes, probably always will. They never last so they're never a problem for me. :2G:

[Shanti]

Thats a fantacy since theres nothing going on to support it.
A look isnt saying much for how the heart would feel if with the person everyday.

Either let the fantacy go or make it a reality to see if its real. And if you cant have what your desires say, let it go. Allowing yourself to be stuck in an illusion isnt a fun way to exist.

MY 2 Cents. :)

[eldora_avalon]

Stupid puppy love.. so why does my heart stull flutter when I look into his eyes when I see him, he stares at me like he is eating my soul but he never talks to me nor do I talk to him and its killing me...
I dont know when crushes go away :awilly:
Try talking to him. The best way to get over a crush is to make them human again. Right now he is a fantasy, he's not real. Talk about your kids, your husband, your job, regular boring smalltalk stuff. It's the best way I know. You might still have an attraction, but you'll also see him for the fallible human being he is, that we all are ;)

[Arion]

I've had a crush on someone since I was about 11 or 12, and it hasn't quite gone away. I've moved on, but its still there underneath the surface. We talk now and then and we're sorta friends (not close), but I don't see it going any further. I can sympathize with ya, MysticWitch. Although, how do feel about the man you're with now? Does your crush affect that in any way?

[MysticWitch]

Good tips. :woot:

[Semele]

I dont know when crushes go away :awilly:

It will go away when you let it. I've gotten pretty good at making mine go away, in the figurative and literal sense.

[MysticWitch]

It will go away when you let it. I've gotten pretty good at making mine go away, in the figurative and literal sense.

:ggrief:

[DreamSpell333]

I had a crush on a boy,when I was 10 and he was 12.. We both liked each other and spent part of the summer together, as my parents were going to help his parents move from NH to las vegas.. He gave me my first kiss,which was nice,but since they moved he had only talked to me on the phone like twice and we promised to write to each other..yet he never did write to me. I used to cry over him also, but eventually got over him.. Im soo glad I did because he ended up being in a gang,and got 2 girls pregnant,who he abondoned.. I now have a loving husband and a daughter,an angel , and another on the way and i couldnt be happier. :) If I had to face him today, I would probably just ask him how he's doing,and tell him about my life and my family..

[starfire]

I agree with talking to him. How's it going? What is new in your life? Married, kids? Stuff like that. Let him know about you. He is probably wondering himself if he hasn't made those moves either. It is kind of like those couple that breaks up and runs into each other, kid of uncomfortable for awhile until someone breaks the ice. Sounds like you are still running into each other. Where if you had both gone your sepparate ways you probably would lose some of the focus. I agree with the above statement that part of it is the "wondering what if" stuff.

Take care

[WokeUpDead]

They always seem to go away. Very quickly.

[Sun Sprite]

Many crushes go away. Though there may be something about them that attracts you to that that person, or personality.

However, you don't want to do damage to your current family, it would be best to have no contact with him.

Yes, I firmly believe you can fall in love very young, and never fal out of love, even if a relationship was never meant to be in this lifetime. Though some young couples do get back together after thier spouses die in retirement ages. If you do, be sure to have he local papers cover it, they always do around here!

[WillowsMuse]

I fell in "love" with this boy when I was 12 years old.
12 years later I still think about him daily and I still "miss" him and I don't know why. He has been in some of my dreams and I like him alot still after so many years.
When I was 12 I asked him out and he said no because his gf broke up with him and he didnt want another girl friend. Then he made a move 6 months later and instead of being 12 and all ga ga and asked him out again, I gave him a dirty look cause I was upset he would even give me a chance when he said he didnt want to date me. :lol:
Stupid puppy love.. so why does my heart stull flutter when I look into his eyes when I see him, he stares at me like he is eating my soul but he never talks to me nor do I talk to him and its killing me...
I dont know when crushes go away :awilly:

Ahhh, the stuff dreams are made of... _wiz_

[Silver Nightfire]

Some crushes go away, others stay with you, lurking inside.
I still haven't gotten over a particular boyfriend of mine from when I was 14...someone I wasn't with for very long at all...but he made a huge impact on me, and I'll never forget him. But I've moved on, and just think back with a smile.

[MysticWitch]

So do you think he has ever thought about me?
Is there away I can focus and mentally send him kind thoughts without being near him... okay now im just being silly 8O

[Deranged Hermit]

So do you think he has ever thought about me?
Is there away I can focus and mentally send him kind thoughts without being near him... okay now im just being silly 8O
well not to drag too much of myself into this thread, but you seem to need a :fishsmack
:hahugh:

[MysticWitch]

well not to drag too much of myself into this thread, but you seem to need a :fishsmack
:hahugh:


:yayah:

[bbnflpn]

i dont think that crushes really go away. they may change.

our first attractions to someone (especialy right around the start of puberty) tend to set the trend of attraction for years to come, and all the people you have crushes on (we all know there is more than one lol) seem to develop in to people that we seek to be with.

i have my own crush story, i had a crush on him since i first saw him (7th grade or so) i went on my first date with him, i never really had a real relationship with him ever, but i still had a huge crush on him over all those years. well just last year i found him on the net and contacted him to say hi (as you do) even though im in a wonderful relationship. i figured nothing would come of it as with other people i have contacted. not so. he was lets say rather hot for me, what an ego boost, i never thought he thought of me that way, and it was a huge turn on. (my boyfreind was getting a workout let me tell you) well i turned him down, and i knew that i could not see him cause even though i love my boyfriend i dont know if i would beable to resist him. i realized that it was just an emense lust, for someone that i had wanted to be with ever since i was 12, and that it would probably be a let down after all that. so after a few months of not talking to me, he asks me again if i would be with him, i again turned him down, and he hasnt talked to me since.

there was a job that i was up for that would have put me in his presence, he is a paramedic, and i would have been working in the er at the main hospital that he goes to. i asked for some help from the powers that be cause i didnt want to be put in that position, the next day the agency called me and said that they were adiment about someone who was bilingual, i was relived (even though i really needed the job) and the position still has not been filled and its been a few months.

i came to the realization about the whole crush thing setting a tone for our future preferences, because of him, and an anime that i watch called evangelion, there was a scene in an ep that happend around that time that was some what similar to one of the dates that me and this guy had been on, me wearing a bathing suit (at the beach) and his first impression of me in that suit, had told my boyfriend that it had effected him and he now has a thing for large breasted women cause of it. (the scene was of the girl in my avatar, wearing almost the same suit differnt color and the male leads reaction to her in that suit)

[Contra Mundum]

Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't.

[SSanf]

Crushes are to be enjoyed and used to enrich your fantasy life.

As you get older, they can bring a secret smile to warm your cooling heart and waning passions.

Just enjoy your crush. It is harmless.

Over 40 years later, I still enjoy thoughts of the boy with the golden hair that caused me to run round the building just so that I could watch him walk away. You know, if I could meet him today, I don't think I would want to. For me, he will always be the golden haired boy, with laughing eyes bluer than the sky, forever young, and forever desirable.

Daydream about your crush every day, if you wish. Why not? Just don't let those daydreams interfere with the real life you have right in front of you to enjoy. It is, after all, only a fantasy.

[Astara Seague]

I voted its not a crush because if it was you would have been over it a long time ago! I had a guy I liked all the way through jr. hi and high school, we went out once on our senior year because I asked him to go to sadie hawkins,the date was fun but we didnt work out because he went on a Misson for the mormans and I went and got married, but last year he contacted me through classmates.com and I still got butterflys that he even remebered me, we emailed back and forth for awhile but since I am married and he isnt we dont do that anymore {he is still a good Morman}

[Astara Seague]

ah, I think you have a bad case of "what might have been" syndrome. :D You never got over your crush, because you never dated and saw how it turned out. As far as a solution for you, um, stop looking into his eyes! _tsk_ :hugz:
I've always gotten fleeting crushes, probably always will. They never last so they're never a problem for me. :2G:
I decided to add that I have to agree with DH
stop looking in his eyes _tsk_ :)

[Wytchie]

Some crushes go away, others stay with you, lurking inside.
I still haven't gotten over a particular boyfriend of mine from when I was 14...someone I wasn't with for very long at all...but he made a huge impact on me, and I'll never forget him. But I've moved on, and just think back with a smile.

Same here, although i was 15...I have heard bits and pieces about him over the years as we have some mutual friends, but haven't actually spoken to him in over ten years (although he did send me a card to say congratulations when I had my 1st daughter).

I think I will always have a "soft spot" for him, even though I am happily settled now.

[Tanya]

Yes crushes go away. They are unrealistic, that's why they are a crush.

[MysticWitch]

Very unrealistic.
I know that its dumb to think anything perfect would come from a crush. People are people and he probably has so many quirks that I wouldnt be able to deal with.
I just dont know.
It better go away soon or I will go :awilly:
:lol:

[Deranged Hermit]

Very unrealistic.
I know that its dumb to think anything perfect would come from a crush. People are people and he probably has so many quirks that I wouldnt be able to deal with.
I just dont know.
It better go away soon or I will go :awilly:
:lol:

Maybe this will help.... he probably leaves the cap off the toothpaste and the toilet seat up! :hairraise

[MysticWitch]

Maybe this will help.... he probably leaves the cap off the toothpaste and the toilet seat up! :hairraise

:hehehehe:

Thanks

[StephanieAine]

My true love - the boy who intended to marry me when we were just kids (beginning in high school when we were just Freshmen) - died when we were both sixteen years old. It was suicide (which I believe was due, very likely, to a medication for severe acne which has been connected to suicides in recent years. Back then, nobody knew about such possible effects, but since he did such a rapid and uncharacteristically odd change of personality before he did it, I'm inclined to think that was the cause).

I'm now 40 years old. I've been married and divorced, and I raised a wonderful daughter who is now twenty years old.

And I'm still in love with him.

I will *always* be in love with him. It kills me that he's gone; I'll never get over it. If he knew the pain his actions would cause, he would have never done it. I know that as surely as I know my own name.

And no - my love for him didn't intensify after his death due to some sort of loss/guilt thing; actually, from the first day we met, we felt like we could read each other's minds... we were so, so close, and had so many of the same values and opinions about things. He was an amazing person. Even back then, it was as if he had no 'age' - he was strangely timeless, as if he already had lived for many, many years... so I was a bit nervous about being his girlfriend in the sense that he seemed so much more knowledgeable than I was. I think I knew, back then, that I was still very much a little girl just becoming a woman - and he was very manly. Had he lived, I think I can very clearly guess what sort of an adult man he would have been based on how he was back then... he was that clear and that 'steady.' (Again, his death is baffling because of all of this. Long, long story. I wish we had known about the acne meds back then! I wonder if his family ever tried to sue the drug company... ah, I'll never know, but I hope they did.)

ANYWAY - my "crush" (which was actually love, although it probably began as a crush, I guess) - it definitely didn't evaporate. I love him more as time goes by, in fact. But - it's a different sort of circumstance.

Now - when it comes to "crushes" I had on other boys, at other times, back when I was a kid... yeah, they evaporated! And crushes I had on men when I was older eventually faded, too.

I think that the problem is that when you have really intense feelings for someone, when you're still in the midst of the feelings and you find yourself thinking that you're very compatible and could actually have a life together... it has a way of making the crush that much more powerful and have a greater effect on you. I think it makes it hard sometimes to actually believe you can get over the person if things don't turn out the way you want them to.

So, I personally do believe crushes fade. But love... well, no, I don't think love does. I think you can realize a relationship won't work and choose to end a relationship, but the feelings in your heart may not go away; you just might have to tuck them away and learn to accept that the relationship can't be.

If you're married and you have a crush on someone other than your spouse... to me, that's a signal that the real problem isn't the crush, it's the spouse. If he's not treating you the way he should, or if you're afraid of him... or if he's not faithful or something... I can see why it would be hard to forget certain crushes. Especially if the crushes represent people who made you feel special and cherished. If your spouse is neglecting to nurture the romance in the relationship, or if you have trouble communicating or whatever.. I think it's only human to look back and think about people who **did** make you feel loved and attractive and so forth. I guess the issue would be whether it means it's time to talk to the husband and see about reinfusing the marriage with more passion or romance, or whether it means it's time to end the relationship.

[CheshireEyes]

My true love - the boy who intended to marry me when we were just kids (beginning in high school when we were just Freshmen) - died when we were both sixteen years old. It was suicide (which I believe was due, very likely, to a medication for severe acne which has been connected to suicides in recent years. Back then, nobody knew about such possible effects, but since he did such a rapid and uncharacteristically odd change of personality before he did it, I'm inclined to think that was the cause).

I'm now 40 years old. I've been married and divorced, and I raised a wonderful daughter who is now twenty years old.

And I'm still in love with him.

I will *always* be in love with him. It kills me that he's gone; I'll never get over it. If he knew the pain his actions would cause, he would have never done it. I know that as surely as I know my own name.




I'm sorry, my friend had the same EXACT thing happen to her, she eventually married had some kids, etc. but has never forgotten him. So I know where you're coming from.

:rubhead: :hugz:

[djmixon]

crushes are a chemical attraction... much like lust.

love, on the other hand, is not possessive, jealous, obtrusive, obsessive or anything other than positive...

If you want to know which it is, let your crush go...

If he/she returns, it is meant to be...
If not, it is not meant to be...

either way, never weigh your worth based on who you are with or who loves you... base it on who you are and what is inside you

hard thing to do... easy thing to say...

[MysticWitch]

If you're married and you have a crush on someone other than your spouse... to me, that's a signal that the real problem isn't the crush, it's the spouse. If he's not treating you the way he should, or if you're afraid of him... or if he's not faithful or something... I can see why it would be hard to forget certain crushes. Especially if the crushes represent people who made you feel special and cherished. If your spouse is neglecting to nurture the romance in the relationship, or if you have trouble communicating or whatever.. I think it's only human to look back and think about people who **did** make you feel loved and attractive and so forth. I guess the issue would be whether it means it's time to talk to the husband and see about reinfusing the marriage with more passion or romance, or whether it means it's time to end the relationship.


Thank you for sharing your story with us. Maybe you will meet with him on the other side when your time passes. I dont think there is anything wrong with my spouse :D Im very happy in my relationship. He makes me dinner and does dishes and today he walked me to my car with an umbrella cause it was raining and I didnt even ask him to. I know he loves me to death.. and that is why this crush this is bothering me because no matter who I have been with, I always wonder "what if" .. but does "What if" really even matter? To me.... No. Thats why I wanted to know if crushes go away because its making me :awilly: kookoo

[Kalika]

I think it depends on the type of "crush". Some are short and easily dismissed... others aren't so much.

Certainly, your first real crush is remembered forever... I sure remember mine. :lol: But I don't think about him every day, nor does it make me sad. It's just kind of... sweet, I guess.

[Deranged Hermit]

I left a trail of broken hearts in my younger days. :sadeyes: Yes, I know, hard to imagine, but I was cuter and less deranged back then. ;) I tend to think of them as still heartbroken after all these years. :hehehe:

[djmixon]

When the "crush" becomes an obsession... or is damaging to your long-term relationship... it is time to stop being around that person... don't put yourself in a position to act out without thinking of the long term consequences.

Oh, and I left quite a string of broken hearts along the way, as well. I have been paying karmicly for all that hurt ever since. I think I may have actually paid it off now.