Unwanted parental advice, how to handle?

[atropa]

I realize that every parent deals with this. Alot of times it is sound advice, just not what you wanted to hear. This is not the advice I'm concerned with.
I invited my 21 y/o single, childless sister over to dinner last night. When she arrived I ran to the store for a couple of things for dinner. Everything was fine when I left, but when I came back Rachel was lying on the couch with a screaming Stella on her chest. I put my bags down and picked Stella up to calm her. My sister kindly informs me with a smug smirk that I had just given her exactly what she wanted, that Stella was only happy if being held while standing up, and that I was spoiling her rotten. I was taken aback and didn't know what to say. I put Stella in her swing with a pacifier (sis hadn't even bothered to look for it) and she went right to sleep. I am not the only one Rachel has done this to lately. Our stepsister was on the receiving end of her "expertise" recently. How can I handle this next time? I don't want to be unnecessarily mean to her, just shut her up.

[Chibi-Fallon]

I had to babysit a kid like that once (you had to stand while holding him) who would *not* go in the swing or anything like that without making a huge fuss. I had to stand and hold him for 4 hours. It's a good way to drive away a babysitter.

But maybe posting this on the fridge?
Is Anyone On This Bus Interested In Disciplining My Son? (http://www.theonion.com/content/node/49603)

[Vigdisdotter]

How can I handle this next time? I don't want to be unnecessarily mean to her, just shut her up.

I'm rather partial to the raised eyebrow technique myself :) and if I was in a bad mood I'd probably say something along the lines of, "Oh, I didn't realize you had a masters in child psychology," in the most sarcastic tone possible.

I grew up watching my uncle (who is only 12 years older then me) doing that to me mom. I have little patience for it.

[atropa]

I had to babysit a kid like that once (you had to stand while holding him) who would *not* go in the swing or anything like that without making a huge fuss. I had to stand and hold him for 4 hours. It's a good way to drive away a babysitter.

But maybe posting this on the fridge?
Is Anyone On This Bus Interested In Disciplining My Son? (http://www.theonion.com/content/node/49603)

I'm not sure how to take the link you posted. I'm not that kind of parent, and Stella's not like that kid. She can be a bit demanding at times, as can any kid, but in this situation she wanted to go in her swing with her pacifier and sleep. Rachel didn't try that, she just laid on the couch and held Stella down while she struggled. I asked. As soon as I put her in the swing she went directly to sleep. Rachel seems to think that watching a child doesn't involve interacting with the child if she doesn't feel like it. If she had bothered to resolve the situation in any other way besides bending a tired and cranky baby to her will I would understand more. She has a track record of thinking she knows everything.

[Chibi-Fallon]

The article is from a fake newspaper.

[atropa]

Ok, I wasn't sure whether to be offended or if it was a joke:) . I can't stand to see kids running wild, so I was quick to say I wasn't like that.

[Zoritsa_Nepenthe]

The Onion is definately a joke :hehehehe: And one that I would have loved to have given a friend a few weeks ago when she told me I should whoop my son's bare arse because he kept saying he was bored(he's 12,almost 13 btw and I made him go to the park with me).She doesn't have an older child...so I quietly reminded myself that her 5 yr.old will someday be 13...and thats when I'll laugh....laugh my arse off because my son will be out of that stage and hers...will be entering it :muwaha:

You could always just bring it up that while you appreciate her input,she has no children yet,so perhaps keep her comments to herself.Or somehow nicely said.

My sister-in-law finally has children and she too felt she needed to tell me how to raise mine.I laugh now because she now knows how I felt all those years of her butting in.

[Celticscryer]

I would try something straight to the point, like:

While I appreciate your point of view, since you have no experience raising children, I'm sure you'll agree that taking parenting advice from you is probably not in my best interest.

[Chibi-Fallon]

Ok, I wasn't sure whether to be offended or if it was a joke:) . I can't stand to see kids running wild, so I was quick to say I wasn't like that.

Sorry, I was running off to a grad party when I posted it. I feel like whenever I say that The Onion is fake people always sort of roll their eyes at me in like "well, duh" and if I don't then no one knows. :lol:

[Nantonos]

Perhaps an analogy to virgins offering advice on sex would make the point.

[Thunder]

I would point out to her that no one feels the same about other peoples children as they do their own and that when she does have a baby of her own, she will remember these moments and realize what an ass she sounded like.

I understand your being concerned about her feelings even when it is clear that she is not particularly concerned about yours. However, it is not your baby that requires behavior modification, it is your sister.

You cannot "spoil" an infant. It is not possible to love them Too much.

[atropa]

I did say later in the evening that the big ideas you have about motherhood before you have kids aren't the same ones you have after, and that you pick your battles. I don't think she knows how PO'd it made me though. I'm still thinking about it. I'll be better prepared next time, thank you guys for all your help.

[Tanya]

Smile
. Say "Thank you, I will think about that."

That's a nice an honest answer. Don't explain yourself, and don't lie and say you are going to change anything if you don't plan to.