practice & beliefs

[adrian]

Are there any others out there who have a spouse or significant other who disagrees with your path and tries to distract you from your studies, rituals, life???
I have been trying for over two yrs. now but it is getting more and more difficult in relating to this person, i know that there are forces that threaten to disrupt our progress but this is getting ridiculous.

[bluecat]

Sorry, don't have that issue. Divorced ... we are both Pagan, but had "other" differences.

[Silverwitch]

Originally posted by adrian
Are there any others out there who have a spouse or significant other who disagrees with your path and tries to distract you from your studies, rituals, life???
I have been trying for over two yrs. now but it is getting more and more difficult in relating to this person, i know that there are forces that threaten to disrupt our progress but this is getting ridiculous.

Difficult one Adrian. My spouse is still a roman Catholic, but doesn't practise. He was very anti when I first became interested, but when he actually became distructive by trying to stop me from studying and practising, the time came for a really good, quiet talk. I took him out to dinner to a nice quiet restaurant, and we talked things out. I eventually made him see that what I was doing was incredibly important to me, and that I felt he was intruding on a private area of my life, after all we are still individuals, and as such are entitled to our own pastimes. We don't have to be joined at the hip all the time - that way lies suffocation. His concern was that I was getting in "too deep" and possibly "in league withe the devil". I showed my appreciation for his concern for me, but still insisted that as an adult, I was very capable of making my own decisions - and living with the consequences. Eventually, we agreed to disagree. The problem didn't go away at once - there were still the odd snidey remarks, but I retained my patience, and just corrected each mis assumption. That was over 25 years ago now, and now he knows it's as much a part of me as my face. He just asks now if I've had a good time!!

So, keep your lines of communication open, and keep your cool!! :bigredgri

[Dextra]

I've been there too. My ex was very much against my beliefs. It's weird. He didn't have a problem with it before we were married, but after that he insisted that I get rid of anything that had to do with witchcraft and insisted that I had to go to church and get saved. He knew what my beliefs were from day one, and it shocked me that he would turn on me like that. I put all my stuff away, but I didn't get rid of it, and I never stopped practicing, nor did I change my beliefs. It was one of those arguements that never ended. I was always going to be wrong and he was always going to be right.

We split after only being married for a few months (we dated almost 2 years before that), but it wasn't totally over religious differences. We had other problems, but that's not to say that the religion arguement didn't have a lot to do with it.

Silverwitch, I'm glad you and your husband came to an understanding. It's a wonderful thing when that happens.

Adrian, I hope you can find a way to find some sort of understanding with your partner. I couldn't find it, but maybe you can. Of course, my ex was very closed minded and a boulder was easier to budge.

[Carmelo]

I had encountered a similar problem, though not of Pagan statute.

My soon-to-be ex-wife had already damned me for being raised Roman Catholic and set about on converting me. She did it subtly, because I was a very impressionable person. In no time, I found myself wanting to take the Christian road for her sake. Not long after, I was damning the Catholic faith.

I've wised up since then and found that the people I was damning were my own family. Being a man of familial mind, I became disgusted with what I had done. I let someone else do my thinking.

Now, due to my maturation, as I like to call it, I find that I can be happy with who I am.

Communicate! That's what you need to do. Don't let the lack of communication be what breaks you apart. If he can still not understand, well...I don't know. But, at least try that first.

Besides, it could be the only way you get to know the true reasons.

[Ozymandias]

I am blessed. My mate is Baptist( not really practicing) and is fine with my beliefs. The only problem I ever had was my first wife who pretended to agree with me to my face and condemned me behind my back.

[adrian]

I'm very familiar with this practice, i call it two faceitis.

[bluecat]

Originally posted by Ozymandias
... The only problem I ever had was my first wife who pretended to agree with me to my face and condemned me behind my back.

Sounds like my sister! She does exactly the same thing.

Steve

[Mariposa De La Luna]

Originally posted by adrian
Are there any others out there who have a spouse or significant other who disagrees with your path and tries to distract you from your studies, rituals, life???
I have been trying for over two yrs. now but it is getting more and more difficult in relating to this person, i know that there are forces that threaten to disrupt our progress but this is getting ridiculous.


I know this isn't what you want to hear but if the communication doesn't work out, which I'm all out for trying first, if you can't agree on something so important in your life what about other things? Sometimes people are sent to us to teach us something and the relationship isn't meant to last forever just for a lesson.

I'm getting to this point with my husband but he has alot of growing before he gets to that point. I have a different problem. I am my husband's crutch. We are both seekers but he doesn't want to do it alone and thinks we can join the same coven when we're ready. I highly doubt that seeing we are not at the same point. He doesn't like going to class without me and would not go to an open circle until I did the calling to get the address. Fortunately we are best friends, that sounds corny but true, and i know in time he'll come around. He's just not ready now.

[adrian]

Thank you all for your input, it has helped more than you know and so many of you hit so close to home; i
can especially relate to the feeling than the relationship is over because i have nothing else to teach and i feel it is time to move on or stagnate and die.
The kids are all grown and still at home, working but depending on us to save them from the world, i am on this big spiritual quest for truthfulness, self awareness,
and exploration of the world, my partner seems to just be...living. All the signs of a major life change, take off old clothes and put on new ones.

[Silverwitch]

Originally posted by adrian
Thank you all for your input, it has helped more than you know and so many of you hit so close to home; i
can especially relate to the feeling than the relationship is over because i have nothing else to teach and i feel it is time to move on or stagnate and die.
The kids are all grown and still at home, working but depending on us to save them from the world, i am on this big spiritual quest for truthfulness, self awareness,
and exploration of the world, my partner seems to just be...living. All the signs of a major life change, take off old clothes and put on new ones.

Although saddened to hear it Adrian, I think you know in your heart of hearts what lays ahead. It's always sad when a relationships withers, but once communication and shared ideals have gone, so have the shared goals.
Then what have you left. Love tends to be unable to survive when one partner has outgrown the other.

Love and thoughts are on their way to you, to aid you in your decision.

[adrian]

Thank you silverwitch, it is a most difficult decision but it is not a selfish one; i do this for all not for one... growth must be foremost in my soul at this time for time grows short and there are many others in need, as well a i.
Yes, i know my choice but now the most difficult part comes, not leaving but fighting my way out.

[rantnraven]

Life offers us many difficult choices. Mine started last year when my wife asked me for a divorce. We both saw it coming and, really, it equated to who was going to ask who first. The relationship became miserable for us both but we waited to see who would speak first.

I won.

Or, did I?

That's the damnable misery of it. I really didn't win at all. I, like she, was just being pig-headed and stupid.

Once you know what your heart tells you, then it is time to act. Search your heart, Arian. Make sure that this is something you want.

If you feel like talking, I'm a pretty good ear. At least that's what my ex says.

I'll PM you later with the number.

Blessing to you and your kind heart,
Thoma

[rantnraven]

Originally posted by adrian
Thank you silverwitch, it is a most difficult decision but it is not a selfish one; i do this for all not for one... growth must be foremost in my soul at this time for time grows short and there are many others in need, as well a i.
Yes, i know my choice but now the most difficult part comes, not leaving but fighting my way out.

Adrian,

Would you allow me to do a Tarot reading for you. I am still new at it but, it couldn't hurt.

RnR

[Earth Walker]

I heard some verbally violent tirades toward me
and Pagans in general today...a christian yelled out:
"**** the whoring Goddess." <rabid foaming mouth>

Girl-oh-girl, is he in for a rude awakening!

[rantnraven]

Originally posted by Mystique
I heard some verbally violent tirades toward me
and Pagans in general today...a christian yelled out:
"**** the whoring Goddess." <rabid foaming mouth>

Girl-oh-girl, is he in for a rude awakening!

Most are frightened by the unknown and must lash out at it. We, as Pagans/Witches embrace the unknown and envelope that which others fear - The Mother. That is what makes us what we are. Special, not different, just special.

Though I will admit that I have a huge fear of spiders?

Funny, eh?

RnR

[bluecat]

Originally posted by Mystique
I heard some verbally violent tirades toward me
and Pagans in general today...a christian yelled out:
"**** the whoring Goddess." <rabid foaming mouth>

Girl-oh-girl, is he in for a rude awakening!

Was this suppsoed to be a Christian sayinf this?? :(

[Earth Walker]

Originally posted by bluecat


Was this suppsoed to be a Christian sayinf this?? :(

Yes, it was a christian that said it. I am a volunteer at
the First United Church, and a small handful of them
dislike me because I am a Pagan. C'est La Vie. :D

[Earth Walker]

I am a Goddess Warrioress,
A mixture of divinity and strength
I am faith and courage
I am being and doing
I am Love and Will

I am the Great Adventurer,
Feminine and masculine, shining in One
Integration is my goal,
Creation, my pleasure, and
A centered self, my mode of play

Motivated to express my inner creativity,
And follow my heart's desire,
I move with purpose and surrender,
To actualize my individuality,
Within the circle of humanity

Let me do my work in the world
Let the illumination of my heart be
Divine Love serving Divine Will....
Let wholeness and enlightenment
Be my way

Living behind a shield of love and integrity,
Spontaneously in the present,
Doing perfect actions,
I conquer and forgive my adversaries, and
Become a Living Light.


:D The doorway of the Mysterious Feminine
Is the base from which Heaven and Earth sprang.
It is there within us all the while.
Draw upon it as you will, it never runs dry.
--Lao Tzu, Tao te Ching :sunny:

[rantnraven]

That's beautiful.

Thank you for sharing.

RnR

[Earth Walker]

Originally posted by rantnraven
That's beautiful.

Thank you for sharing.

RnR

:D Something special for you. :)

Every step you take on earth should be a prayer.
The power of a pure and good soul is in every person's
heart and will grow as a seed as you walk in a sacred
manner.
---Charmaine White Face of the Oglala Lakota :sunny:

[rantnraven]

Originally posted by Mystique


:D Something special for you. :)

Every step you take on earth should be a prayer.
The power of a pure and good soul is in every person's
heart and will grow as a seed as you walk in a sacred
manner.
---Charmaine White Face of the Oglala Lakota :sunny:

From a poem I wrote long ago:

Dive deep into the waters of life.
Loosen the anchor that binds.
And may your ship sail free.

Blessings to you, Sisiter.
RnR

[Silverwitch]

Originally posted by adrian
Thank you silverwitch, it is a most difficult decision but it is not a selfish one; i do this for all not for one... growth must be foremost in my soul at this time for time grows short and there are many others in need, as well a i.
Yes, i know my choice but now the most difficult part comes, not leaving but fighting my way out.

I can only say that with whatever happens, try and minimize the fallout where you can Adrian. That way everyone benefits, including you.
Will be thinking of you to give you courage for what ever lies ahead along with a virtual hug to tell you, you're not alone.

[gunner]

people like the one you describe make me glad i'm an armed pagan mystique, he/she (which ever, though the tone of the "curse" makes me think it was a male) sounds like right on the edge of physical assault. that level of hysteria is dangerous, a very real threat, and i'd treat it as such.
"gunner"

[Earth Walker]

I am no stranger to christian violence, actually all of the violence I suffered in the past came at the hands of
christian men...I took this abuse until 17 years of age,
at which time, I began to learn Aikido, so now I am a
take no s**t, take no prisoners kind of woman. :D
Although I prefer non-violence, there are times that I
have to use force to protect myself, and I have no
problem giving people an attitude adjustment. :bigredgri

[rantnraven]

Originally posted by Mystique
I am no stranger to christian violence, actually all of the violence I suffered in the past came at the hands of
christian men...I took this abuse until 17 years of age,
at which time, I began to learn Aikido, so now I am a
take no s**t, take no prisoners kind of woman. :D
Although I prefer non-violence, there are times that I
have to use force to protect myself, and I have no
problem giving people an attitude adjustment. :bigredgri

I study Shoulin Kempo - wanna wrestle.

RnR

[Earth Walker]

:) You name the time and place. ;) :D

[gunner]

seriously, mystique, i note you live in vancouver b.c., if things get sideways i've got a friend in the rcmp detachment there, and i can put you in touch with her should you need backup.
"gunner"

[rantnraven]

Originally posted by Mystique
:) You name the time and place. ;) :D

My house. Next Monday. Sun-Down.

Hy-YAH.

RnR

Oh yeah, and you can win...

Please

[Earth Walker]

Originally posted by rantnraven


My house. Next Monday. Sun-Down.

Hy-YAH.

RnR

Oh yeah, and you can win...

Please

:) Only if you talk rough to me BIG BOY....oooooohh

hehehehehehehe :bigredgri

[Earth Walker]

My computer has gone bananas, and it won't let me
read my mail, etc. I'll be back when the problem is
fixed.

:D MISS ME! ;) 8O

[adrian]

don't you hate that??? i had to combine all my email addresses under one name in hotmail and now i this one address for email but three different accounts of email... and still sometimes i don't get all my mail.
it's a conspiricy a set-up, to get us to spend more money. good luck.

[Earth Walker]

I'M BAAAAAACK! :bigredgri

[Rævyn Cigány]

I have been truly blessed with a most outstanding husband. He himself is Anglican and I was raised Catholic, until I found my true path just a year or so ago. He has absolutely no problem with my path. He loves me for me, and even himself questions the validity and accurateness of his family's faith. He is not a simple-minded fellow by any stretch of the imagination, but his view on Wicca is simple: I harm none, I am a good wife and mother, and I do not belittle anyone else for their beliefs (although I may not agree with them, I respect them) and as long as I stay the way I am, who I revere or how I worship makes no never mind to him! We have a fairly good communication going between us, and when he has doubts or questions, he always asks me first before drawing his own conclusions....just to give you an example of how wonderful this man is, he is an active member of TWO of my web communities, and has found quite a few friends among the members (that may just be because of his warped sense of humour, but... ;)). Yes, I agree with all of you, communication and honesty is the key... you'd be surprised at how sometimes they aren't surprised!

Many bright blessings,
Rae )0(

[gunner]

my compliments to your husband, he sounds like a gentleman of good sense as well as having excellent taste in ladies

[Rævyn Cigány]

hehehehe....oh gunner, you sweet-talker, you! *smooch*

BB Rae )0(

[adrian]

It's really good to hear that there are people with significant others who respect their choice to be who they are and not try to undermine their efforts, i have a problem with jealousy and envy attacking me in one form or another and it is getting difficult to fight back without speaking the harsh truth witch totally destroys them and makes me feel like s--t. I've been told that i am a nice guy and a beautiful person and i like this, it helps me to grow but i am well aware how of how truly evil i can be and i hate it... but iguess it has it's uses.
I am a solitary and i think it's time to be one in all aspects, except here that is, you guys are a lifeline weather you know it or not....thanks.

[gunner]

adrain, we all have that dark side, it's part of what we are as much as the light. the "yang/yin" in oriental symbolism. the thing is we all, like you, learn to keep that in balance, not letting the dark rule and understanding that we cannot be perfect but we can try nonetheless. you are no more "evil" than any other and perhaps less so for recognising your lapses and trying to resist them. the next thing is to learn to give yourself credit for the good you do as well as regretting the "bad" you think you have done. you say those around you call you a good person, perhaps they see you better than you yourself can.
"gunner"

[rantnraven]

Originally posted by adrian
It's really good to hear that there are people with significant others who respect their choice to be who they are and not try to undermine their efforts, i have a problem with jealousy and envy attacking me in one form or another and it is getting difficult to fight back without speaking the harsh truth witch totally destroys them and makes me feel like s--t. I've been told that i am a nice guy and a beautiful person and i like this, it helps me to grow but i am well aware how of how truly evil i can be and i hate it... but iguess it has it's uses.
I am a solitary and i think it's time to be one in all aspects, except here that is, you guys are a lifeline weather you know it or not....thanks.

I do not find you to be "Evil", not in the true sence of the word. Sometimes we do things we regret, yes, and that is a factor of life. Don't fret, brother. You are going through a dificult time in your life. This I/we realize. But that doesn't make you evil.

Gunner was right, there is a balance that is facilitated whether we like it or not. Focus on the good energies rather then the bad. I know that you are facing a terrible truth right now. Stick with it and try to always look at the positive side.

Blessings, Brother. My thoughts and prayers are with you,

Thoma

[Earth Walker]

Originally posted by gunner
seriously, mystique, i note you live in vancouver b.c., if things get sideways i've got a friend in the rcmp detachment there, and i can put you in touch with her should you need backup.
"gunner"

This is no reflection on your friend, but I have had bad
experiences with the police.(No, nothing criminal).
I have been a post-op transsexual for many years now,
and when I get stopped by police, they rudely insist
that I give them my "boy name", and there has been
other demeaning experiences.

[Earth Walker]

I guess the T word scares Pagans too. :confused:

If that is the case, I'll leave the board.

[bluecat]

Originally posted by Mystique
I guess the T word scares Pagans too. :confused:

If that is the case, I'll leave the board.

Erm ... just cuz your a Trans shouldn't be a big deal. Am I gonna have to staple some VELCRO to yer rear???? Staple, superglue, JB Weld, whatever!

Sit yer tail down on one of Kaylara's comfy chair thingies and enjoy your lemonade, girlfriend!

"Leave the board;" *** mumble, grumble, mumble *** of all the silly ...

Love Ya

Blue :cool:

[bluecat]

BTW ... is that an automatic or are we talking about a clutch thingy here :D :p :cool:

The board is just quiet this afternoon. No worries, girl. :)

Drink up! Life and Lemonade are to be relished and if you don't like relish at least use the GOOD mustard! :cool:

Blue :cool:

[Earth Walker]

Under MYSTIQUE, it says Adeptus Exemptus.
How to I change that to what I would like?


The dizzy blond. ;) 8O

[bluecat]

Originally posted by Mystique
Under MYSTIQUE, it says Adeptus Exemptus.
How to I change that to what I would like?


The dizzy blond. ;) 8O

Click on the profile box at the top and then edit profile ... there SHOULD be a box in there called CUSTOM USER TEXT ... that is where you would change it.

Blue

[Earth Walker]

:) Thank you muchly.

The next pitcher is on me....but Pink Lemonade. :bigredgri


We are daughters in the body of Goddess, truth and
love our destinies. Go then and make of the world
something beautiful, set up a light in the darkness.
:sunny:

[rantnraven]

Originally posted by Mystique
I guess the T word scares Pagans too. :confused:

If that is the case, I'll leave the board.

The "T" word??? Sheeesh.

You are who you are. I don't need to tell you that but, I don't think it bothers anyone around here.

Take Blue's offer of the chair thingy and lemonade.

I still love you. Gonna take a heck of a lot more then "The 'T' word" to scare me.


try this this one "BOO!"
Now THAT's scary.

RnR

[Rævyn Cigány]

Blue, you goof! LOL...you know it took three readings for me to get that little dig about the Trans and whether or not Mystique had automatic or stick shift....lol....honestly, Mystique, as long as you are a good person, I really don't think anyone gives a flying fig what you used to be or are now! :) You're a sweetheart and we all see it...so there!! :P

Rae )0(

[rantnraven]

I was wondering what all the talk was about transmissions. Sometimes I just don't get it!

*blush*

Fell of the roof one to many times, I guess.

And Mystique is a good person and a good woman. She's one of my newest Sissy's.

RnR

[Earth Walker]

I was born female, but with a malformed vagina.
My father named me Sabrina D. H., but my mother
spitefully gave me a male name, which only further
stigmatized me. She also used violent tirades and
beatings toward me, and she encouraged the
neighborhood kids to do the same. My father had
been told to leave by court order, but I continued to
see him occasionally. He told me to just be myself, and not to worry what others thought.
I have been on disability for almost 7 years, and in order
to have corrective surgery done, I was required to
attend the Gender Dysphoria Clinic for 1 year, before
being approved for surgery. ???? The surgery cost
$9,000.
I am not a true transsexual, but the government loves
sticking labels on people. C'est le vie.
However, as a member of that community, we have no
legal protection, so it is okay for people to deny us
housing, education, employment, etc. :mad:
The NDP government has continuously promised to
add "gender identity" to the BCHRC, but always backed
out.
Now that a provincial election is due soon, Premier
Dosanjh promises again, but if we vote for him. Not!

Now you know the rest of the story. :bigredgri

If you have any questions, I'll answer them for you. :)

[adrian]

Originally posted by gunner
adrain, we all have that dark side, it's part of what we are as much as the light. the "yang/yin" in oriental symbolism. the thing is we all, like you, learn to keep that in balance, not letting the dark rule and understanding that we cannot be perfect but we can try nonetheless. you are no more "evil" than any other and perhaps less so for recognising your lapses and trying to resist them. the next thing is to learn to give yourself credit for the good you do as well as regretting the "bad" you think you have done. you say those around you call you a good person, perhaps they see you better than you yourself can.
"gunner"
See that is just it, i am well aware of my dark side and i do embrace it but to use it knowingly against those you love seems really cruel, but at times it seems that i have to in order to be heard with these people, i admit i have chosen a lousy partner who isn't open minded but i still don't relish projecting a nasty attitude in order to protect myself.

[adrian]

Originally posted by rantnraven


I do not find you to be "Evil", not in the true sence of the word. Sometimes we do things we regret, yes, and that is a factor of life. Don't fret, brother. You are going through a dificult time in your life. This I/we realize. But that doesn't make you evil.

Gunner was right, there is a balance that is facilitated whether we like it or not. Focus on the good energies rather then the bad. I know that you are facing a terrible truth right now. Stick with it and try to always look at the positive side.

Blessings, Brother. My thoughts and prayers are with you,

Thoma
Yes, you are correct. we all do things we regret and i know i am not an evil person i love focusing on the positive things in life but in order to protect myself i must be evil and vindictive because these people think that just because you smile a lot and speak with a soft voice you are a push over or weak, i'm just tired of the switching back and forth from really good to really evil in attitude. I will always stick with what makes me feel spiritually well, i'm getting to old to bit my tongue or spare someones feelings just because they don't want to grow up.

[Xois]

I was in a similar situation with my SO (we now have other problems, hurrah)

It took ending it to make him gain some acceptance! We split up (well I ended it with him) and then he realized that there are some things he either has to accept or shut up!

I got tired of having to defend my beliefs all the time...

But now...he is not only tolerant, but also moderatly accepting...he did a Samhain rite with me in the back yard and helped me bless my apartment (that I was moving into away from him!) so he has learned...and I did too, from the experience.

We are working hard on keeping it together, though my religious beliefs have nothing to do with our current problems...

But sometimes, the big life change really does destory what you have and replace it with something better with the same person...

by the way, he has NO religious beliefs but intellectually believes that Buddhist is the only respectable religion (even though that itsn't really a religion...)

He is however, a very spiritual man!

And a pain in my ass!

Keep the faith...things will get better

Xois

[adrian]

Lady it doesn't matter who you choose to be as long as you are true to yourself and do not intentionally harm others, speaking for myself; i've always had a certain facination for transexuals... i think you are a really brave person for shareing that with us and if anyone here doesn't like it , they can keep their closed minded comments to themselves.
It's about the spirit not the body.

[adrian]

Oh Yea! I just might bring that umbrella...

[rantnraven]

Originally posted by adrian

Yes, you are correct. we all do things we regret and i know i am not an evil person i love focusing on the positive things in life but in order to protect myself i must be evil and vindictive because these people think that just because you smile a lot and speak with a soft voice you are a push over or weak, i'm just tired of the switching back and forth from really good to really evil in attitude. I will always stick with what makes me feel spiritually well, i'm getting to old to bit my tongue or spare someones feelings just because they don't want to grow up.

Brother, search yourself to find the balance. This is not easy but I feel that you can, and will, prevail.

Something I was taught a long time ago, and you may not want the hear this, is that it takes two to tango (E.G. Balance). While easy to blame everybody else for there faults, we must constantly look at our own. Again, I'm not hacking one you. It's just that, sometimes, we need to back up and take a good re-look at ourselve.

Irregardless, I will support you in whatever you deside.

Blessings, Brother and have another glass.

RnR

[adrian]

Originally posted by rantnraven


Brother, search yourself to find the balance. This is not easy but I feel that you can, and will, prevail.

Something I was taught a long time ago, and you may not want the hear this, is that it takes two to tango (E.G. Balance). While easy to blame everybody else for there faults, we must constantly look at our own. Again, I'm not hacking one you. It's just that, sometimes, we need to back up and take a good re-look at ourselve.

Irregardless, I will support you in whatever you deside.

Blessings, Brother and have another glass.

RnR
Thanks for the support and all i do is take inventory of myself, i have been accused of trying to be perfect but i am human; i just know that there is moer to my existence than what i have been doing...i feel the need to become more, more loving, more kind, compassionate and understanding. I am not perfect...not yet.LOL

[adrian]

Originally posted by Xois
I was in a similar situation with my SO (we now have other problems, hurrah)

It took ending it to make him gain some acceptance! We split up (well I ended it with him) and then he realized that there are some things he either has to accept or shut up!

I got tired of having to defend my beliefs all the time...

But now...he is not only tolerant, but also moderatly accepting...he did a Samhain rite with me in the back yard and helped me bless my apartment (that I was moving into away from him!) so he has learned...and I did too, from the experience.

We are working hard on keeping it together, though my religious beliefs have nothing to do with our current problems...

But sometimes, the big life change really does destory what you have and replace it with something better with the same person...

by the way, he has NO religious beliefs but intellectually believes that Buddhist is the only respectable religion (even though that itsn't really a religion...)

He is however, a very spiritual man!

And a pain in my ass!

Keep the faith...things will get better

Xois I keep praying that things will get better but in the last 3yrs. it has been getting worse, i really care for this person and i care enough to let go before it destroys both of us. we talk, sometimes too much and a lot of what she feels is 20yrs old and she can't let go of what she missed...we don't owe each other anything now and are now in the process of trying to acheive a compromise on household things.
This seems to be the hardest thing to do and i refuse to just let go of everything. My spouse has no religion, she says she believes in jesus but she doesn't know herself let alone jesus and what he taught, she doesn't follow his teachings and does not read the bible.
We also tried a ritual together but i notice something that she just took to be coincedence. We were out under a full moon, clear sky with stars shinning, it was a beautiful night... the fire was going and as we rededicated our love for each other the sky got cloudy,
they came from nowhere and darkened the moon and stars. I can tell when there is a message being transmitted from beyond and this is what i took it to be but she said it was coincedence... it happened too fast, out of a clear sky in a matter of minutes. No, there is another path for me to take and i don't think she is to be a part of it on the contrary i believe that if we keep going the path we are something dreadful may happen.
When i want to connect with pagan friends she is jealous, and my pagan friends back off saying that they don't want to cause any problems but two of them say that they don't feel really comfortable or welcomed by her. I do have a life and it doesn't revolve around her. i don't mean to sound so...angry but i am really at the end of my rope...what do you think about what i just shared? Anyone? I do treasure your responses.

[gunner]

don't be in such a rush for the airlock hatch mystique, you're not the first person i know that made that choice. nor do i see it as reason to boot you out of here even if i could. siddown and give this mob a chance to show what they're made of, they'll surprise you if you're expecting a kick in the ass again, and i'll be extremely surprised if you get it.
"gunner"

[Earth Walker]

Originally posted by rantnraven


Brother, search yourself to find the balance. This is not easy but I feel that you can, and will, prevail.

Something I was taught a long time ago, and you may not want the hear this, is that it takes two to tango (E.G. Balance). While easy to blame everybody else for there faults, we must constantly look at our own. Again, I'm not hacking one you. It's just that, sometimes, we need to back up and take a good re-look at ourselve.

Irregardless, I will support you in whatever you deside.

Blessings, Brother and have another glass.

RnR

The only devils/evils in the world are those running in our own hearts; that is where the battle should be fought.
--Gandhi

[gunner]

had to get some sleep and came back without catching up on posts before the above post. i see mystique is still on deck, good! now that we've heard the medical reasons 'nuff said, you're our friend mystique and that's all there is to that. and i'm not surprised that the rest of the gang agree, i expected no less.

[bluecat]

Originally posted by Rævyn Cigány
Blue, you goof! LOL...you know it took three readings for me to get that little dig about the Trans and whether or not Mystique had automatic or stick shift....lol....honestly, Mystique, as long as you are a good person, I really don't think anyone gives a flying fig what you used to be or are now! :) You're a sweetheart and we all see it...so there!! :P

Rae )0(

Heh, I thought it was a dead giveaway myself, but then I always did have a twisted sense of humor. When I was getting my BFA in Theatre my advisor was the Dept Chair and he called me his "Sick Puppy," in public.

I just smiled and said, "Thank You." :D

I feel sure that Mystique is aware that I was not doing it at her expense, but rather was poking fun at folks who were either intolerant or ignorant. For my money folks who refuse to learn or refuse to be tolerant of others are fair game :D and I will poke relentless fun at them. (Which in it's own twisted way makes me fair game.)

I don't feel that we have intolerant or ignorant folks here. We may have some folks who are occasionally taken aback by what others do, but there are no "Bertha-Better-Then-You" folks that I have encountered here. I don't think they could last, just my not so humble opinion.

Life is good, Drink Up! :cool:

Blue

[Earth Walker]

I would like to thank all of you for your wonderful
support. Goddess Bless You. :sunny: :heartthro

[gunner]

and you too mystique

[adrian]

Tell me, why would you want to call yourself a dizzy blond? I don't think you are one...on the contrary, i find you to be well balanced; at least here.
Never down yourself, once you start it, it can undo all you have worked for. I find your words to be a sorce of inspiration...keep it up.

[Earth Walker]

I poke fun at myself in a humorus way, and I never
take myself too seriously. I work everyday at changing
my negative qualities into positive ones; and
improving my positive qualities. :) :sunny:

[rantnraven]

Originally posted by Mystique
I poke fun at myself in a humorus way, and I never
take myself too seriously. I work everyday at changing
my negative qualities into positive ones; and
improving my positive qualities. :) :sunny:

Take up a chair and have some more lemonade.

Sometime it's good to poke fun at ourselves. Keeps things in perspective. As long as, like you said, we don't take it too seriously.

Blessings,
RnR

[bluecat]

I take myself very seriously, when I am not being silly or not taking myself seriously.

When I do take myself seriously I often let someone else drive; but then other times I walk or even drive myself.

I have never taken myself seriously to Wal-Mart, that would be futile. Wal-mart is the BORG, you know. It wants to assimilate us ... resistance is futile.

I have taken myself seriously to Dillard's, then wondered why.

However I always take myself seriously when I go to Taco Box (NOT Taco Bell), but never to Wendy's or McDonalds.

I don't take myself seriously when I go to work; why bother, I work for a telephone company.

Not taking myself seriously. :D

:cool: Blue :cool:

Life is Good. Drink more lemonade. And I hear Mystique makes good coffee too, maybe she should put a pot on the porch more often! :cool:

[Xois]

I didn't necessarilly mean to stay with a person you do not love or are not compatible with...

I am faced with this choice at present...He is a great person, but do I need different things...

we don't cuddle ever
we don't hold hands ever...

I am a rather more phisical person and I need more phisical contact than just sex...*I just want to be held*

LOL

Anyway, neough about my nerosis! Lets talk about someone elses! LOL

You need to do what is right and if this is over than its over...when god closes a door he usually opens a window and though this is rather a christian saying, it applies! Fate is a fickle mistress! *hugs* Things will get better, no matter what you decide...at least you aren't a chicken like me!

*hugs*
Xois

[bluecat]

Originally posted by adrian
Are there any others out there who have a spouse or significant other who disagrees with your path and tries to distract you from your studies, rituals, life???
I have been trying for over two yrs. now but it is getting more and more difficult in relating to this person, i know that there are forces that threaten to disrupt our progress but this is getting ridiculous.

With all of the kidding and jokes aside, this is a dilemma that has faced many Pagan folks. I know that you love this person or you would not be together. I am not going to advise you to alter your beliefs or to not love someone because they don't agree with your beliefs. All I can offer is that you should do what you have to do; I know that sounds like a cop-out, but it's not really.

You have to consider everything when you make such a decision. What effect will it have and on whom? ... Why are you doing it? (That "why" word is one of those that can wake up more brain cells than Carter has little liver pills!) ... and What are your expectations?

These are not all of the things, only three that I felt would help you. There may be more that you should consider.

Remember, Life is Good and you should Drink Up, no matter what it brings, there is always a reason. :COOL:

Blue

[Earth Walker]

He sounds like he has good qualities, but, unfortunately,
patriarchy has so conditioned men that, among other
things, they equate sex with love.
Those men need to learn that sex is based on physical
attraction and lust, and that Love is based on spirituality
and emotions.
Fortunately, there are men who do understand the
difference between sex and love. :)

FOR LOVE/ATTRACTION

Absinthe: Sprinkle this herb under the bed of a lover to
draw the lover to you(must be crafty).
Beth Root: Wear this as a necklace to draw lovers.
Coriander: Take seven grains and grind them in your
mortar, saying:

Warm seed, warm heart, let them never be apart.

Do this three times. Then add this herb to wine and
serve it to the one you desire.
Dragon's Reed Powder: When a lover is slow in
reacting to you, burn this along with some love incense
and the lover will pick up intensity.
Do this while the person is visiting.
Lavender: To write a successful love letter, rub the
entire sheet of paper with lavender flowers before
starting to write it. Use Dove's Blood ink if you can.
This is said to grant you whatever you requested in the
letter.(It can be applied to business letters as well.)
Other herbs known to bring lovers and happiness:
lovage, linden, lotus, magnolia, laurel, ladie's thumb
and horse chestnut.
This is a Celtic spell: Acquire six horse chestnuts and
some red thread. Entwine the chestnuts on one cord,
making knots on them and in between them,
representing the thread of life. Burn a red candle on
full moon evenings, saying:

O Diana, Goddess of love and hunt, please listen
to Your daughter. Make these knots to capture
the heart of (name).
Let neither rest nor sleep find her till she comes
our troth to bind. Goddess Whose arrows never
fail, bless for us this love affair!

Then burn this charm in your cauldron with other
aromatic herbs, especially fennel, which is sacred
to Diana. Your love will come to you within a moon.

Hope this helps you Sis. :sunny:

[Silverwitch]

Originally posted by Mystique
I guess the T word scares Pagans too. :confused:

If that is the case, I'll leave the board.

Hi Mystique, been offline while decorating, so have only just got back to picking up some threads. No need to leave the board, I honestly don't think anyone here has any problems with anyone's sexuality. That's got to be down to the individual - right. Anyway, Bluecat will never let you get away without a huuuge debate on lemonade!! :bigredgri

[adrian]

Ok, not to put a damper on this conversation but i think we should move on, i do thank you all for your contributions and help, believe me it gave me a lot to think about but....i do feel the pull of a higher authority, seriously. It's like if i don't follow this pull i may loose my sanity and slip back into the dark side, at any rate things are already set in motion by both sides so........
How about some lemonade? My treat?
Big cold glasses with peices of lemon pulp, unsweeten for me please.
Really, thanks guys i don't know what to say to a group like this, i've never had the pleasure or the feeling of so much love, it feels like home.
Now, hhow (sniff,sniff) about that lemonade?

[bluecat]

Bottomless pitcher, right in Front of you! :cool:

Blue

[gunner]

no, "wanting to be cuddled" is not a "neurosis" it's a very common female desire, not always a prelude to sex but for a simple feeling of closeness that can make a woman feel good about herself. and if more men would learn that there would be fewer unhappy women.

[adrian]

Originally posted by gunner
no, "wanting to be cuddled" is not a "neurosis" it's a very common female desire, not always a prelude to sex but for a simple feeling of closeness that can make a woman feel good about herself. and if more men would learn that there would be fewer unhappy women. Yes! i agree. I am male and love to cuddle. it gives a feeling of...not just closeness, but of being needed and loved, a sort of completion. This can be better than sex.

[Rævyn Cigány]

Originally posted by gunner
no, "wanting to be cuddled" is not a "neurosis" it's a very common female desire, not always a prelude to sex but for a simple feeling of closeness that can make a woman feel good about herself. and if more men would learn that there would be fewer unhappy women.

Here here! Gunner's been around the block more than twice, it would be wise to LISTEN TO THIS MAN! hehehe...actually, I think I have one just like him, so I count myself amongst the lucky ones! I myself am a cuddler by nature, and not just with my mate...my chilldren (all three of them, the oldest of which is eight) all get their individual cuddle time and it boosts their spirits (and MY ego!). It's good for the heart, do it more often!

Blessings,

Rae )0(