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Lets Go Bowling
August 8th, 2006, 03:49 AM
RANT 13
You're Going Insane

“You might catch yourself sliding in and out of a hallucinatory state after this is over. If you do, just relax and enjoy it. It’ll soon go away. But for now…open the door, sit in the seat, turn the key and go.”

Let go. Let go of your thoughts, your dreams, your preconceptions, your beliefs, your self. Let go. Let loose the chains of self. Let loose the chains of opinion and perspective. It is time for you to realize that you’re going insane. Before you go out and mind**** others, you must first mind**** yourself. There is no law…no self…no governor…no robot…no ladies and gentlemen…no history…no messiah…no sanity. All walls and fabrications dissolve in the mighty howling wind that blows through your mind’s defenses. All the hinges come undone. All the screws go loose. All the nuts fall out. All the marbles go missing. Realize the great mantra “There are no handles anywhere,” and stop trying to hold on!

You are the fifth corner to every square…the second dimension to every point…the question mark to every exclamation mark. Set the illusions on fire and watch them burn to ash. Tune the strings of your high-strung emotions until they snap. Explode with a thousand Eris bitchslaps. What part of ‘fthagn’ do you not understand? Every rug of identity you rest upon will be pulled out from underneath you. Every blanket of fnords with which you cover yourself dissolves in the acid rain of Discordia. Beware of God. It’s Out of Order.
If you think the problem is bad now, just wait until we’ve solved it. Energy, power, and faith are the false bulwarks of a fluctuating image you call ego. The State is the chief cause of anarchism. Sanity is the chief cause of insanity. Meaning is the chief cause of meaninglessness. The chicken is the chief cause of the egg…well, maybe. But the precepts of order are banging loud on their drums of war in your head. What are you going to do about it?

You are going insane. Wise people admit this while letting go. But less-than-wise people deny this while using the wise-sounding tenets of wise-sounding belief systems to try and maintain some sense of sanity. But sanity can only go so far. It is Out of Order. All Hail Discordia! You are the reason why there are no such things as straight lines or linear times. You are the damned-thing that refuses to fit into categories. The message in this sentence is a flat lie. The previous statement was false, true, meaningless and otherwise. Good and Evil…So what? Who gives a shit? They’re only two labels for the same thing.
Is the thought of a thought a real thought? Maybe. Is the world out to get you? If you want it to. There is no law…no story…no reason…no order…no disorder…no thoughts…no clowns…no sadness…no laughter…no nothing. The honest truth is a dishonest lie. She who laughs all the time will be happy now. **** waiting until the last laugh! The gods are not what they seem, nor are they otherwise. Things appear and disappear at random for no apparent reason. You only impute an apparent reason, for some reason. Your pineal gland is the chao-mine of endless creative chaos and it is burning away your sanity like the sun burns away the morning dew. Are you crazy enough to exist?

Do you still want the cling wrap of ego to tightly bind you? Instead of polishing your lens, throw it away. Kill the Buddha, if you must, but chew on your own damned Zen. Are you the water, the waves, the wind, or all or neither? East and West have met and they have bred the bastard children of South and North along with the damned-thing un-named fifth direction. Stomp your feet and see that you stand on a void. Are you suffering from illuminitis? Eris can slap that ailment right out of your system.

Imagination is the most potent tool in you. It will take you as far from sanity as you wish…No. I lied. It will take you far from sanity, whether you wish it or not. It is not a tool at all. I lied again. And I lied again. In fact this whole paragraph is a lie. Possibly. Maybe not. But I lie again. Are you tired of your negative trips? We have drugs and video games for that. Oops. But not really. I lied again. What is truth, if not an insidious infection of falsehoods? Are you the ‘You Are’ of the ‘I Am’? Or are you the ‘Am Is’ of the ‘What Not’? Or the ‘What For’? It is possible that you are a worse liar than I am. Or a better liar. Is this a Celtic twist of a Gypsy Switch that will whip incessantly at the bullshit clouding your mind? Or is it a Discordian mind****ing plot specifically calculated to provoke a random response from you which will set you off towards every direction? Is it some or neither? Are you some or neither? Or are you in-between-the-lines? If we are both liars masquerading as truth tellers, what are we saying? But that is also a true lie.

The secret is out that there is no secret of the multiverse. But I lie again. For every hole in your sock there is a mystical mystery that has stunned and amazed occult theorists for generations. And yet the joke is on them. Are you one of them? Are you the joke? Are you a clown performing on some corner stage in Eris’s playground? You may be the mystical mystery that has stunned and amazed occult theorists—and governments, scientists, doctors, social scientists, historians, and theologians—for generations. And again, I may be lying. Knowing that, possibly, you were born and that, probably, you will die…tells you nothing, unless you allow lies to be screamed into your ears. Consistency is the stagnant invention of the madmen. Certainty is their house. Uncertainty is the dynamic state of one who lives. But this could be a lie. Or not. And that could be a lie. Are you willing to ride a thought until it leads you to its basic absurdity? Liar!

How do you know that you are not someone else’s blurry thought? If you are a figment of your own imagination, why not someone else’s? The only certainty you may glimpse is that there are no certainties. And that could be the only true statement I have made, except for the fact that I might by lying. Even then, how would you know? You are always going insane, despite what you may believe. And beliefs are just prejudices…attempts to build walls to keep out the world. No matter what you try to build, there are no walls. There is nothing to keep out. And nothing to hold in. And there is no one doing it. What are you? Who are you? What masks are you wearing now? What answers can you stand? What questions can you stand?

You have free will. There is no other choice. Everything and nothing are the weapons of unhinging your self in the Great Tickle and Eris is waiting, rather impatiently, for you to admit that you are confused. I wouldn’t deceive you but I will pull your legs out from under you. And I could be telling the truth if I am not lying again. Just because sanity and insanity are merely two faces of the same thing does not mean that you are not going insane. Are you crazy enough to exist?

(originally given on Aftermath 20th, 3169 / November 8th, 2003)