View Full Version : The Gospel of St. Zurtok Pt. 2

August 25th, 2006, 03:46 PM
The following being an account of the vision born of Jazz induced dilerium.

The following message brought to you by the letter J and the number azz.

And behold! In those first days there were men in Egypt, and they were descendants of the first man and first woman and first child. And they lived in happiness carving things out of rock that looked good, and mostly went around discovering things that had yet to be discovered.

Yea! Unto you who now wonder who first child, and second child, and all of the children of first man and first women made love to, you are correct. It was kinky, but in those days they dug kinky!

Egypt in those days was lush and fertile, for the secrets of the happy laughter of the Giggling Gods had filled it with many things, both plants and animals and all sorts of other things. And the people of Egypt found many things in their lush fertile land, some were soft and gooey like the first Phlegm, and some were hardened bits that had been changed by the Laughter, and yet others were in the middle.

And the sniffling gods still had yet to do anything, so stop asking, damn it!

One man among the thousands of Egypt saw things that no one else saw. His name was Clint Eastwood after that which was at the beginning of the Universe, and will be at the end.

And Behold, Clint Eastwood found a horse in the jungle, and began to ride the horse. Please, donít ask why there was a horse in the jungle (jungles being horrible places for horses).

Clint Eastwood did ride the horse whom he did name Leonardo, after the sound of the Sniffling Gods, which only served to make the Sniffling Gods more Sniffling, because the thought of someone naming something after them made them all choked up.

Clint Eastwood rode Leonardo to Greece, in the year before there were years, and went to Athens to find an artist suitable to paint his picture. All over the great city Athens did Clint Eastwood look, and yet he found no artist of suitable stature to paint his picture.

But Eris, watching from her high and mighty seat (she fed Odysseus some Lotusís and sat on him), took pity on Clint Eastwood in his grief. Eris knowing the secrets of all of the Giggling Gods, as they were both one and many, went down to Clint Eastwood and laughed into Leonardoís ass.

And BEHOLD! Leonardo began to change, and became a human (and not the sort that might be a cabbage) and an artist to fulfill the dreams of Clint Eastwood.

Leonardo began to paint a picture of Clint Eastwood, but something was missing, so Leonardo traveled the world looking for something to complete the picture of Clint Eastwood with. Finally, in a land so far away from Athens and Egypt that it may be on the other side of the world, Leonardo found the great chief Laughing-Brown-Pants, and paint him into the picture to complete it.

Leonardo then returned to Athens to give the picture to Clint Eastwood, but could not find him.

But, Leonardo was not disheartened, after all, being formerly equine tends to put things in a different perspective then one might think.

And yeah, Leonardo did travel the Land searching for things to paint.

One day whilst in Israel, he came upon a woman and her twelve companions. Something was strange about this woman, and Leonardo could sense it, for this woman looked like a man! And these men seemed to treat the woman like a man. But, Leonardo could not be fooled with his equine senses working for him.

Leonardo decided that in homage to Eris who had given him his human form he would paint this chaotic group of people while they ate dinner.

Leonardo arrayed the group at a table, and listened while their leader spoke, and yea Leonardo found much in the conversation to be of worth, and found the secret of eternal life, while painting the picture.

And Leonardo then moved to Italy and waited for Rome to get its act together.

And Leonardo named himself Leonardo da Ponie, but many of the people of Italy could not speak in Equitine, and thus called him Leonardo da Vinci.

Thus sayeth the Saint!

August 25th, 2006, 10:47 PM
Is it me or do there seem to be hidden messages about Mexicans in this thread?

August 25th, 2006, 11:02 PM
And this is my body and this is my blood. :hehehehe:

We really got to do that thing with the stuff and other things :wave: