Pagan Dorm Life?

[StarEyedShelly]

Hello everyone! I recently moved into college for the first time, which is great, but it's having sort of a negative impact on my regular practices. I'm in a forced triple, so there's barely any room or privacy. This past week, my first week at college, I've been so stressed I haven't even been able to spiritually connect like I normally do. Plus, I don't really get along with my roommates, so there's always latent tension in the air. I only feel at peace when I'm by myself. So, I have no room for an altar, and of course, no candles are allowed, so there goes my main method of prayer :-/ Anyway, do you think that there any ways I can still do rituals and that sort of thing under these circumstances? Has anybody found a solution through personal experience? I'd love to hear your input :)

[Lunacie]

Go outdoors. Stand or sit next to a tree. Feel the roots of the tree going down into mother earth (goddess) and drawing strength, do the same thing with your own roots. Feel the top branches of the tree reaching up into father sky (god) and drawing inspiration, do the same thing with your own higher consciousness. Feel the two energies mingle in your center (just above your belly button) and then let them expand as you take in 3 deep breaths, flowing outwards from you to those around you. Take a moment to 'speak' to your special god/dess, then give the tree a hug - or a soft touch - and feel the tree hugging you back. Ha, who needs candles?

Candles are nice and I enjoy using them, but I don't really need them, eh?

When you go back to your dorm room, take some of that energy you were tapping into and touch the wall next to your bed, visualizing that wonderful energy traveling all around the room, as if you were painting the walls and the ceiling and the floor, that might help dissipate the tension you're feeling and make the room more comfortable for you and for your roomies.

I hope you enjoy this new experience in your life. :)

[Qeniheru]

Going outside is always a good plan. I kinda bonded with a tree in the campus park next to my dorm, and often left offerings at the base of it, usually buried a little so people wouldn't bother them. It worked nicely for me. ^^ As far as full rituals though, I did them in Second Life, a 3D virtual community. It worked well for me, but I'm not sure how you feel about doing rituals through the Internet. :p If you want to give it a try though, let me know and I'll get you all set up, and spot you some of the online currency there too (I'm a premium member, but it isn't required). :)

[Brightshores]

Depending on where you go to college, there may be an on-campus pagan group you can get involved in. (There was one where I went to school, but I wasn't following this path at that time, so I wasn't involved with it.)

Check with the activities people or the campus spirituality center people... they might be able to point you in the right direction.

Good luck in school! :viking:

[Akhkharu Asgard]

Definitly, outside is the best. Especially if you practice a more nature based religion. Why not do it in nature. You can always make a makeshift altar if you want. And it could be a little ritual in constructing it and deconstructing it outdoors when you do whatever you are going to do.

While I don't particularly do rituals or anything. I know all about the no candles thing. And I cannot have incence either. I like both, just for the dark ambience of it. And nice smell. So I have to forgo all of that. But I guess there is some sort of insence that you actually don't have to light up. I don't know much about it, but I have to find out more about it and see if I can get some of that.

[Rosana]

One of my pagan friends, living in similar conditions, used to perform all her rituals by visualizing them. Interesting, but efectiveness depends on the level of your visualization skills. Virtually anything magickal or spiritual can be done only in your mind. It just requires practice and flexibility.

[OpenHands]

StarEyedShelly,

I agree with the othes, either go outside or see if your campus chapel has a room for general religious practices (it may allow the use of a candle). I know my campus chapel had a "meditation room" as a catch-all for private non-Christian practices.

While I wasn't tossed unwillingly into a triple, I did spend my first year with a fundamentalist Christian roomie. We were polite to each other, but didn't have anything in common so it was always awkward. I took my rituals elsewhere because I respected the fact that it made her uncomfortable. I didn't use candles that year and was a little worried about that at first, but they aren't essential to my religion so it wasn't a huge deal. Dorm restrictions suck, but they can also offer an opportunity for you to get creative and realize that a lot of what we use in ritual is often just trappings. Good luck this semester. :)

[Silverfire Darkmoon]

How are things set up in your room? Are there bunk beds? When I was doing this travel and volunteering thing called Katimavik, in two of the three places we went to, we had bunk beds. I chose the bottom bunk both times and curtained it off with blankets for privacy. You could make yourself a collage of pagany things, hang it on the wall, and hey! there's your altar! Just put a picture of a candle on either side of it...or maybe electric candles? Be clever and creative and you'll think up all manner of stuff. I was able to have an entire altar kit in a tiny, TINY little box.
People are more accepting of tealight candles than tapers, because they're next to impossible to tip over and they don't make a mess. Try getting an oil diffuser...just say you're de-stinkifying the room. You can do your thing with your candle and even use scent through the oil instead of incense.
I wish to God there was a viable pagan community at my college, but there just isn't. Dammit. Maybe with the new influx of students in September....

[WiccanGoddess]

Visualization is the key word.

[CaitrionaMorgaine]

To get around that no candle rule, I suggest those electric candles that you find often during the holiday season. I found a pair last year that are battery operated and they work wonderfully.

[Sage Rainsong]

I used to work with a lot of visualization, offerings of food to various God's and nature spirits. For spells you can always use things like magical powders, stone magic ect.

[Tanya]

I found a friendly park near campus... no I couldn't have fires, but at least i could get some head space and meditate. You will find once you settle in, you will make friends who will help you out... I ended up doing my rituals in a friend's apartment in a spare bedroom they let me use for the price of baking them cookies.

[StarEyedShelly]

Wow, thanks a lot for all the response! I like the bunk bed idea, because I actually do have a bottom bunk. I could hang pretty things from the top :) Visualization...I forgot about. I'll probably go that route. Thank you all so much! You've given me hope! :D

[blackcatwiccan01090]

Hey, yeah, i've been in that sort of situation before. When I lived in houston, my dad was terribly against Wicca/Pagan beliefs. He's a devout christian and thinks im the devil. >.< So, as you can see, living in his house, I wasn't able to keep my altar, light my candles or inscense... I couldnt do open ritual, or any of that stuff. I couldn't connect like I normally could back at home. However, outside my school, there's a huge concrete circle in the back surrounded by trees. I usually went back there with friends after school for circle. Also, there were alot of trees in my backyard, so I'd go outside and sit underneath the trees and felt like I could connect through nature that way. There's nature all around you, and you can always connect to it. Remember, you don't need candles to speak with our mother, she is always listening to you. Sitting in school, I can always drop myself into a deep state of meditation. I picture a cliff, and a tree, overlooking the sea with the beautiful crescent moon hanging above. I imaging her there with me and we speak while no one can hear us. It's actually a perfectly good way to connect with the spirits. Just bear with the unfortunate circumstances, and dont worry it too much. I hope you can find the right path, my prayer goes with you.

[Nitefalle]

When I was in the dorms, I lit candles anyway, I just locked the door, lol. I was careful, I never burned anything down, and my roommate had a box of liquor under her bed, so it wasn't like she could rat me out or anything. No one really cared, they just say that so no one creates a twelve story fiery inferno of death (even though I can't tell you how many times the fire department was called to my dorms anyway!). Also, the great thing about being in a dorm was that I could do whatever I wanted and I didn't care what my roomies thought about it. My first year, in Denver, they thought I was a freak b/c I had all my pagan books out, but I didn't care. They were drunken frat-sluts anyway, so it's not like I cared what they thought about me. I just did what I did and ignored them. You don't have to be a bit** about it, but you don't have to take it elsewhere if you don't want, either. It's your room, too.

Rather than candles, you can always have potpourri that you make yourself or use those ceramic rings you put on light bulbs and drop some essential oil on it - the heat of the light bulb diffuses the oil and your room smells great. You can also meditate while your roomies are in there, just pull a curtain over your bed and pop on the earphones, I did that quite a bit.

[seekerofknwoledge]

Welcome to college (my first year too)! I've set up an altar inside my dresser furniture (it's got two big doors and an elevated shelf), and use the window sill along with my desk for other ritual items. While I haven't really had time (or energy) to do anything much yet, I do get up early and meditate/read tarot.
I don't know what you time situation is like, but maybe you could find out when your roommates are usually out, or when some of the rooms are empty (like the bathroom early in the morning, or even the common rooms).

Above all else, I'd let your roommates know before hand (if you haven't already). Then it won't get really weird if they see some of your stuff or walk in on you.

If you don't have room for an altar (especially in a triple!), I saw the best idea the other day to make a portable altar using cigar boxes! They're small, latching, and strong enough to resist some wear and tear. Then you can transport it with you, and it takes up barely any space. You could try a variation of this with a shoe box or something else, depending upon your preference. Hope that helps. If you have any more questions, just message me!

[seekerofknwoledge]

Oh, I forgot one thing: utilize indoor plants!

One of my buildings has a somewhat large potted tree inside, and it makes the perfect place to ground and talk with nature. If you don't have something like this, try getting a small potted pland or something for your room. I suggest bamboo only because there's no dirt, it only needs to be watered once a month, and it doesn't need (actually can't take) direct sunlight. I have my very own little bamboo friend, and he makes the perfect, calming companion. Thinking about it, you could even just tuck a few items in the pot (usually a ceramic one with rocks in it) that represent the elements (like crystals, feathers, seashells, etc.). Then you'd have a mini altar that's both functional and allowed.

[Dellit Tandannon]

meditate.

[Chibi-Fallon]

Check for Pagan clubs and the dorm "rules" are only rules if you have a horrible RA. :cheers:

And for the most part they have bigger things to worry about.

[bbnflpn]

i never lived in a dorm my self, but i have a few ideas

last year in the witches calender put out by llwelyen (sp?) they had an article about an altar on a string. you put things on it that mean to you like symbols of the goddess and god, symbols for the elements, totems, birth signs, planetary symbols, symbols of altar tools, and other things that mean something special to you.

if you want aromatic guidence, they have these wonderful things called votive warmers, you put a wax candle or one of those wax cubes in it and it warms it with out burning it (you can always remove the wick so you do not look like you are burning it at all) they also have jar candle warmers, you can substitue them with coffee cup warmers (thats what mine looks like anyway) stick a jar candle on it and it does the same thing only it takes a bit longer for them to melt depending on the size of the candle (warning do not poke the candle till it is completely solid through out, or you will have a problem, if you want more info on that go to my blog link in my sig, and read the entry entitled "wax wtf part 2" ok i think thats what its called but you get the idea)

or if you have the extra $$ you can use lava lamps. you can meditate on those for hours. i have, i wasnt even drunk, i watched it and pondered things, and then i knew why people would trip on them in the 60's they are great eheh)

and as my hp always says when she teaches the altar tool classes, the most important tool is you, you do not need anything else to preform a ritual.

you can close your eyes and envision all the things you want to accomplish,

going out side is always good too, and looking for a pagan group on campus is a great idea. i would suggest looking for them, and if you want getting involved with events. and if their isnt one maybe you could start one. you can always find other groups out side your school through witchvox or meetup, or yahoo groups.

[Meirya]

An altar actually isn't that big of an issue in a shared space. Most people will think your altar is just a place for pretty knick-knacks. I keep mine on one of the shelves of my bookshelf, and have covered the shelf with scarves so it's screened off (my gods like their privacy; it's basically an improvised closed naos). When it was open (before I picked up the scarves), no one knew it was an altar unless I told them. People generally think deity-figures are pretty figurines, and all the rest is just decoration to the unknowning observer.

[Avalanche]

I was in boot camp and shared a compartment with close to sixty other people. And I was lucky enough to be the only Pagan in my division. We couldn't go outside whenever we wanted or do anything at all really. The only thing I could really do was meditate after the lights were out. And cause a bit of chaos, which was at least somewhat fun.

[TseMoana]

There've been some really great suggestions in here. I don't live in a dorm but my house is really small (livingroom, kitchen, one bedroom and a teensy bathroom) so little space for stuff.

However, about having an altar out in the open with people thinking it's just a place for pretty knick-knacks can work against you too. I had that a while in my old bedroom back at home and my mother would constantly use it as a place to put the things I'd left elsewhere in the house on. Argh!

[Meirya]

That's why it works better in a dorm, where you keep it in your private space. In my experience, people tend to respect your space in a dorm (overall, at any rate; I know there are exceptions) and not use your shelfspace for their stuff.

[Toby Stimpson]

Hello everyone! I recently moved into college for the first time, which is great, but it's having sort of a negative impact on my regular practices. I'm in a forced triple, so there's barely any room or privacy. This past week, my first week at college, I've been so stressed I haven't even been able to spiritually connect like I normally do. Plus, I don't really get along with my roommates, so there's always latent tension in the air. I only feel at peace when I'm by myself. So, I have no room for an altar, and of course, no candles are allowed, so there goes my main method of prayer :-/ Anyway, do you think that there any ways I can still do rituals and that sort of thing under these circumstances? Has anybody found a solution through personal experience? I'd love to hear your input :)

I cant speak for anyone else, but I might have a bit of a different perspective. I am currently a tsudent staff member, a Don at Humber College in Toronto in residence. Basicly my job is to take care of the people on my floor as well as form a secondary emergency responce. I did a whole two week training session on the rules and what not of residences and I can tell you it's not just because the staff of residence life are finicky...many times candles and things like that pose a dangerous fire hazard. I am sorry that you are feeling stressed out, I know first year can be really difficult for some people. My first year at this college was a little stressful but when you get into your niche, yoou'll feel better. if not, go and talk to your student residence staff...theyre really there to help you!

My room is a bit larger, basicly the building I am in is suite style, which has two bedrooms and a kitchen and bathroom. My RA room is a single room with small kitchen and bathroom attached, and its a good size so I have room for a small alter. I find it helps when I am counselling residents. Generally though I would be very critical when you say you need soemthing to be spiritual. Your spirituality coems from inside YOU...it doesnt come from objects. If you had perhaps even a photograph or a picture in a central location that could help....but you dont need candles. If you feel to be feeling more spiritual, I would drop by your campus chaplain. Humber's Chaplain is really good...and the prayer room can be signed out by any campus group (mostly used by the muslim Students Association this month for Ramadan). he has a list of of campus services and even has a listing of Wiccan and NeoPagan groups around the greater toronto area. Drop by your Chaplain's office and see what services are available. Otherwise, all i can say is to be patient, be calm and dont confuse perhaps homesickeness/anxiety with your new situation with being spiritual. Best of luck!

Namaste

Tobias

P.S. Some poster mentioned perhaps incense or oil burners...anything that requies a flame is, in our Residence handbook evictable offences so I would stay away from that if I were you.

[Tranquility]

As a fellow college student, I can say that visualization has worked best for me. I still meditate every day, and there are several ways I can get around this. I also live with 3 other people in my apartment (People I neither previously knew, nor do I particularly like at the moment). I meditate either outside, or I simply sit in my chair as If i'm on my computer.. and meditate as such. I get my fix from going to the local forest (Botanical Garden, here) every day and connecting there.

As far as rituals go, visualization can work.. or you can do simple things during the day. Mara Freeman's 'Kindling the Celtic Spirit' has great exercises and traditions for rituals. Aside from that, I have visualized rituals, I have gone walking and thought about the occasion, and I have done small things during the day to give thanks and honor the changing of the seasons.

I don't have an altar.. no biggy. I actually share a room with one person, and the other two have their own room. MY roomate is baptist, and quite possibly the most ignorant and close minded elitist christian i've met in a long time. It's a challenge, but all the more interesting. There's always something to learn from people. Besides, I still grow some plants in my room, and no one cares about that.

So, my advice is: Get out in the forest whenever you can, visualize, and try to keep stick with it.

[bbnflpn]

i suggested a votive warmer, it is electric. however the melted wax might cause an issue.

[fangedeshana]

http://www.collegewicca.com, even for non-wiccans.

[StarEyedShelly]

Wow, thanks so much for the response! :D Since my topic's been revived, I have an update: I did get de-tripled, and I really get along with my new roommate. In my old room, I felt all this oppressive, negative energy, and it was hard for me to connect. Even though my room is a lot smaller (I basically went from a forced triple to a forced double) the fact that my roommate and I get along is a huge improvement. Since I'm on the top bunk, I was thinking of setting something up on top of the dresser next to me. Though, I don't really know how to tell my rommate that I'm pagan and all that. Or, how to say, "Do you mind if I set up an altar on top of your dresser?" Heh. Oh, and miraculously, I got some sadge smudges in a care package from some friends of the family! So, I pretty much have to set something up now ;) I also found out today that one of my good friends is pagan. So, things are really looking up for me now. Thanks so much for all your help, everyone! :D

[bbnflpn]

im glad that things are better for you, have a peaceful dorm life while you are in college. :-)