how do you tell someone???

[shnen]

I was just wondering how everyone told others about them becoming Wiccan.
I am new to this, and I love it, and I don't think I can keep it inside much longer, I just feel such amazing energy and peace about my choice to become Wiccan.
So now, do you tell the people you're close to? Your family (which mine is VERY christian)? friends? Or do you not tell at all? I know you have to be careful, but shouldn't your loved ones know?

I am not embarassed, I just want to know how you have handled it?

Blessed be,

Shnen

[Yvonne Belisle]

There are a few really good threads on this in the new pagan forum it's time they got bumped up and added to again. Go to the top under the Mysticwicks sign and click search. Look up broomcloset and you should find a few threads on it. Good luck. Welcome to Mystic Wicks.

[Twilight]

wear the penacle

they ask

you tell

it's never been easier!

[Myst]

In my case it was read the book sitting on the couch while they're a few feet away. *shrugs*

[Haedis]

My mother actually was the one who lent me the first book I ever read about Wicca, so no explanation needed there. Then a while later my dad was wondering about the witchcraft books I had piling up every where. I told him I was a witch, gave him a brief explanation so he wasnt totally in the dark...and that was that.

[AradiaSupernova]

With me it was....my 2 sisters were Wiccan before I was. My twin sister (MidnightSun on here) basically walked into our computer room and said "Mom, I'm Wiccan" then walked out. We had disputes and everything for a while. Still do every now and then. But thats how it worked. *shrugs* My sisters opened the door for me you could say. hehe :)

[bluebear]

I strongly advise that you tell no one about your path except those you know to be Wiccan or those at Mysticwicks etc. At least until you are dedicated and initiated. There are many people who will try to turn you away from this path. There is nothing more dangerous than a well meaning religious fanatic.
Blessings
Bluebear

[Raindancer]

I understand your feelings, but not knowing how you relate to your family, your situation, I can't really advise you. What would be the consequences of "Coming out of the Broomcloset" likely be? Where do you live? Are you facing a minor period of adjustment as your family gets used to the idea, a major falling out with them, possibly being shunned and ostracised? Burned at the stake by a torch wielding mob of fanatic fundamentalists? I would advise caution, and some advance preparation for dropping the big bomb. Only you can know what their reaction will be. I agree that you should wait for awhile until the first blush is off the rose before saying everything. Make sure its really what you want to do, because if you change your mind later, it will be more than a little awkward. Its hard being in the closet, and I know you've found this wonderful thing, but also, remember that most likely, if their industrial strength Christian or something, they won't agree and before you bring that on yourself, make sure its what you have to do. Good luck...
Raindancer

[Sephiroth]

i just flat out told the ppl "Hey im wiccan now not part of ur religion the harrasses others and stuff like that so leave me out of ur crap now..." is wat i told ppl:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

ohhh yeah love ur avatar thomas

[flar7]

um, so, casting a spell on your neighbor and sacrificing their cat is
out! right?:p (just kidding, dont fill the pm box with hate mail!) heheh

[Flaire-FireStar]

My best friend was the one that first knew I was a pagan - she was one first.....So it was someone to talk to, but she moved away.. Since then ( that was a few years ago), I haven't told anyone. My parents (mom, mostly) would freak out, as would most of my friends that I have now. But I've been slowly coming out of the broomcloset to my brother and dad - I have my pagan sites up and I'm typling away while they walk past (they usually read what I'm writing, but anywayz).. They haven't said anything yet, and that's fine with me. I'm prepared if they have any questions. :)

[Raindancer]

So far I've told some friends including my brother's X and Xgirlfriend with whom I'm still friends, and the responses were pretty positive. A couple friends said " Well, we figured that you wouldn't just be something ordinary"

But I haven't laid it on my family as many of them are pretty religious and I think that under the best of circumstances they would freak, but doing it online instead of face to face would be worse. Both of my brother's X's didn't think they would cope really well either, though they thought it was cool, especially Bill's Xwife, she has Wiccan friends.

Since I live here now, and they live in various places in the US, there doesn't seem to be any pressing need to lay it on them. If for some reason they asked, I would simply tell them, I wouldn't lie, but I'm not volunteering it either. Funny that it was much easier to tell friends instead of family.

On the other hand, if I meet someone, in person or online, and it seems like we might get to know each other better, I tell them pretty early on, so if its going to be a problem, we find out now before too much is invested in it. Better to be upfront and honest and get all the potential problems out in the open. At some point they are going to find out anyway.

Raindancer

[Yvonne Belisle]

I am mostly in the closet. I came out to my really good friend and for a while she tried to convert me back to any christian path for the good of my soul till she began to realize that it hadn't changed who I was or what she liked about me. She opened the closet door with her Dad who has been like a second Dad to me for years and I was happily shocked by his response. "I think witches are cool." So sometimes the surprises are really good!

[shnen]

I have told some close friends, and it didn't suprise them, they said they knew a long time ago... i guess before i even did!
My family is a different story. My grandma and I share a very special bond, but she has never mentioned Wicca to me. So I'm not sure if she was ever able to explore that path. My dad and step mom are die hard penticostals, and all my siblings as well. If i told them they would think what the typical close minded person would think... the evil stuff. and they wouldn't want to hear me out, they'd probably try to perform some demon-getting-rid-of ceremony on me! :)
But I find I'm having the hardest time telling my best friends.
I guess the time will present itself when I'm ready to handle the questions and comments properly.

thanks to all who have given me great advice...

Raindancer... *coming out tof the broomcloset* :D:D:D

[CondurerMan]

Stayin in the closet isn't that bad.
I mean wicca has been considered as Ocult (hidden) for a long time so if it really gets on your nerves and you want to tell someone, go to a friend, they usually support everything you do.

I told my friend and shes cool with that, on the other hand i told my brother and he told me it's just a "Phase" i'm going through :)
and i'll look back on it in the future and realise how silly i was.

some people will never except you because they don't understand you can try and explain it to em' or just ignore them.

[Garnet]

I'm so far in the broom closet I'm a dust pan.:rotfl:
Honestly, my sister knows, though I don't remember telling her.
But I never hid it. Any one who comes to my house will see goddess statues, dozens of candles in different holders, & witchcraft/pagan books all over. I had one friend come in & ask why I had so many gargoyles. When I replied that I collect them, he said, "Oh, you practice witchcraft. I'm not surprised." (Yeah, I know...I'm still trying to figure out that myself.) My dad & kid brother had to have seen my 'stuff' when they take care of my cats when I travel or was in the hospital last year, but they never said anything. Maybe they're just used to me. Like my brother tells people, "Every family has one.. She's ours." & points to me.
Maybe that's the way to let your 'kith & kin' know, just sort of let them 'discover' it. Leave a book out & wait until they ask. Tell 'em it's something that caught you eye & you thought you'd read up on it a little. Sort of sneak up on them, a step at a time. Or tell one person that you know can not keep a secret
& let her/him suffer the initial fallout.

[manstranger]

I didn't really come out of the closet as far as actually telling people ... just started reading Amber K, Scott, and a few others in class. That got the message across. Of course, some people still have weird ideas. Someone genuinly (sp?) thought I could steal their soul. Some of your friends may have weird ideas about it .. those that have them unfounded and won't change when they ask you about them because they don't like your answer, imo, and in my case, weren't my friends anymore.

In other words ... if you can't accept this big part of my life, and refuse to acknowledge that i have any knowledge about it, more so than someone who is not my religion, than i can't be your friend and otherwise converse with you.

Or something like that would be what i would tell them.

[JuNiPeR]

I haven't came out and told my parents yet. However know that they have some Idea. It just hasn't really been discussed. But I know my mother doesn't approve of Witchcraft.
My boyfriend was very open to the idea.Also A few of my close friends know and are fine with it :)

I have had a few bad experiences with coming out, but I guess its expected :)


shnen ~ If your worried your parents, I'd suggest digging up some info on Wicca for them (Books, websites, ect) A lot of people are misinformed. So educate them and they might have a better understanding, and be more accepting of your path.

[Euphoria]

for me it started with an argument about religion and i was in a reallay bad mood and came out with "WELL I'M GLAD I'M NOT PART OF YOUR F***IN RELIGION ANYWAY .... I'M GLAD AM PAGAN"

[manstranger]

you're back ... i think .. or did you just stop posting in here? hmm. welcome back in either case!

Like the avatar.

[Ball-Bhreac Ròn]

me...i just said to my mum 'How would you feel if I told you some of my friends were interested in Wicca?' She answered in the positive, so I said 'What if those friends were....uuum....me?' 'Great...will you help me become one too?' ;)

[Brujaverde]

I started working little factoids about paganism into conversations, to both get them used to that word as well as to educate so that when I told then they were more ok than they would have been & then I refered them to sites & answered questions.
But that's just to my family I'm just standing at the closet door looking to see if it's clear & ok to jump out. But the school dist. here has just decided that next year "Halloween" won't be allowed because it offends the Church of latterday saints here but the christian days stay & my nearby Pagan friends are dismayed and we are considering coming out to protest that they should all stay or all go. It's just so iffy & frustrating.

[DragonDawn]

i just dropped some hints (my tarot, always in the New Age section of the book store, ect.) and they got the hint. One friend i had to come out and say that I was Pagan.
The only people i've told have been my really close friends. they all understand for the most part. One asks questions alot but i don't mind :D
Now as for my family i haven't said anything. My mom may have an idea, I mean she was their when i bought my Tarot cards I think that lately she may have said something to my dad because he said something about regreting not studying the bible with us more. (we're not very religious anyways)
I like the broom closet its nice. :boing:

[kblackthorne]

I've provided this so many times, in so many places...

This is cut and paste of my own words from another forum:


My first line is "I've left the Church." Then I let the discussion stay at that level for a while. Let them digest it while not telling them anything more (except, maybe, reasons you were unhappy with that church).

Eventually, once that topic no longer causes sparks, I let it become, "I've left the Church, and I've found something else." At this point, they will probably ask you questions about what it is that you've found. It should be OK to talk about your beliefs in a general way at this stage ("All life is sacred." "The Divine is feminine as well as masculine." Nice and vague, no specifics. At this point, I've provided a lot of ground for discussion without even coming out and saying I'm not monotheist.)

After that, my next addition is usually "Earth-based nature-religion, similar to Native American Spirituality." This opens the ground further.

Then, "Pagan"
Then, finally, "Wiccan".

I expect a few sparks at each stage... and I don't move on to the next stage until I'm not getting sparks anymore.

Basically, feed them as much of the truth as they can handle. Just feed it in small bites at first.

[Alphyna]

Of course, some people still have weird ideas. Someone genuinly (sp?) thought I could steal their soul. Some of your friends may have weird ideas about it .. those that have them unfounded and won't change when they ask you about them because they don't like your answer, imo, and in my case, weren't my friends anymore.

Hee hee hee... Yeah I know that one! My ex boyfriend thought it was my fault he was breaking out in the face, losing muscle, etc, etc..."Did you put a hex on me? This has never happened to me before...It has to be your fault. It started when we broke up..."
blah blah blah... I thought it was soo funny!
BB, Sarah

[tangerine]

When I was 19, I told my Catholic-raised father (went to Catholic boarding schools and all) that I thought the Bible was a novel. A very entertaining novel, written by men eating magic mushrooms. :D This did offend him, but it led us to a discussion about Wicca and Paganism that turned out okay. He did make a comment to the affect that if they had sent me to Sunday school when I was little, this wouldn't have happened. LOL...yeah, that would have straightened me out, I'm sure. :rolleyes:

In general, my parents are pretty sccepting people, so I really never had a problem with them. I tend to go on a don't ask, don't tell basis with friends. If I'm sure that they will understand, I will tell them and explain about it. If I'm not sure that they will understand, then usually the friendship doesn't work out anyway. The scariest thing was telling the Baptist guy I dated a few years ago. Amazingly enough, he did understand that I wasn't evil, but that was the end of the relationship. I do tend to keep quiet about it, but will speak up if someone is maligning Pagans/Wiccans.

shnen, do what your heart tells you to. Use your intuition to tell you who it is safe to tell and who it isn't. Dealing with people that want to "save" you is an exhausting thing, only tell these people if you're ready to deal with that.

[Garnet]

Tangerine...the next time your father tosses out that
Sunday school line' use me as an example.
I went to two different Catholic schools for three years, & catechism at those two & another church until I graduated from High School. I started attending other religious services about then, & in my 20s converted to Judaism. Over the years I've been pulled to witchcraft & G*d/dess worship & here I am (ta-da!). A kid I went to Sunday school with is in prison for murder, & I've been told another is a big shot in some sort of white supemicist group.
"See where I could have ended up, Dad?"
I like kblackthorne's 'sneak up on them gradually' method, though.

[Eeluna]

My husband and kids know, but I haven't told my Mother or sisters. Actually I hate keeping it from them, but I was so afraid that it would cause major problems. Our family has always been very close, and I didn't want to lose that closeness. They are Christians and consider it to be *the one true religion*. I'm sure their first thoughts would be about devil worship.

In a way I've already lost that closeness because I'm keeping such a large part of who I am hidden from them now. The other day my husband asked me why I just didn't tell them. He said that Paganism hadn't changed me except that I was a happier person now. I told him that I would really like to tell them but I thought it would cause more harm than good.

I really like kblackthorn's advice. Maybe if I do it slowly in small steps, it won't be so traumatic to them. If they really love me, they will love me as I truly am. Thanks for the advice.

[tangerine]

Originally posted by Garnet
Tangerine...the next time your father tosses out that
Sunday school line' use me as an example.


LOL..well, that was 10 years ago! I think he's pretty resigned to the fact that no amount of Sunday school would have fixed me now. He's not really a *practicing* Catholic, but it was the way he was raised and it has stuck with him. Actually now, I think he's happy that I explored on my own and found my niche!

[kblackthorne]

Hey --

12 years of Papal-approved education, sitting right over here. :wave:

Heck, I was convent-bound... and look how I ended up!

[Justin Wyatt]

Im pretty open with everyone(except my parents with which id have a 2 week long period id hate COMING HOME from shcool) I dont think anyone should be afraid to express their belief if your like me and live in an area that is very conservative and has more then it's share of skinheads. then again im not the easist target for abuse(im a boxer and a wrestler). But still your true friends will stick with you regardless.

[xjsjaglvr]

Hey, just go about your life as if nothing has changed. If someone is rude enough to ask just tell them plainly and leave it at that. If they try and "save you" they are again being rude and just tell them that. Don't try to argue with people over it, they will just try harder. Show your commitment by being a serene example. If they persist then think WWDD, what would Danu do?
Jag

[Phoenix Blue]

Quoth kblackthorne:
Hey --

12 years of Papal-approved education, sitting right over here. :wave:

Heck, I was convent-bound... and look how I ended up!
Which just goes to show, "Get the to a nunnery" means just about the same thing now as it did when Shakespeare coined the phrase! :nyah:

[HallsOfAvalon]

My biggest question of it all is this........

I am totally out of the broom closet, and I tell anyone who asks. It is very hard at work, because I work for a local blood bank. We do blood drives at alot of churches and what not. So, as to not disrespect anyone, I keep my pentegram tucked inside my scrubs.

Alot of the people from work already know what/who I am, so there is no need to tell them..... but there are times when somebody new to the company doesn't know..... they get to know me, as a person before learning that I am a "witch". When they find out, sometimes they get mad..... As if this suddenly this changes who they thought I was all along.


How can this be? I am the same person that they have already judged to be a nice guy. But as soon as it comes out that I am a "Witch" they feel like it changes something. I think this is so messed up. People need to start trusting there instincts more and not just trust something they believe to be true because of years of the wrong teachings.

[Phoenix Blue]

Quoth HallsOfAvalon:
How can this be? I am the same person that they have already judged to be a nice guy. But as soon as it comes out that I am a "Witch" they feel like it changes something. I think this is so messed up. People need to start trusting there instincts more and not just trust something they believe to be true because of years of the wrong teachings.
I think they feel betrayed. . . not that they really have a right to.

[faeriedust]

i am so far in the closet i don't know if i will ever find my way out. but whats really strange ..... my 5 yr old daughter says she is going to grow up and be a witch. that makes me happy.

[SpikesPet5150]

I am so far out of the closet, it's fantastic. :) I told all of my friends, first.. they were all super cool with it.. they had questions, obviously, but no problems. Then I told both of my sisters, and they're ok with it. My older sister, Cimarron, told me that I needed to tell Mom and Dad before X-mas (last year) cause she was getting me witchy stuff for X-mas. I tried, and I tried, but couldn't figure out a way to tell them. So me, and my sisters are at my parents house, for Thanksgiving dinner. I'm outside with Shay (my other sister), smoking a cigarette, and Cimarron comes out and says, "Mom knows you're a witch now." Turns out, Cimarron went up to mom and said, "How would you feel if I was into witchcraft, spells, stuff like that?" Mom said, "I think it would be kind of cool." so Cimarron says, "Oh ok. Bree's a witch." LOL And that was it. Mom my was a little upset, not that I'm a witch, but the fact that I was scared to tell her. :) They even celebrated Yule with me, this last year!! hehe I love my family.

I always figure, your family, you may have problems with.. but if your friends are *really* your friends... they'll support you. And it's always good to have that extra support group behind you, in case your folks aren't as cool as mine are. :) Good luck, and remember, even if you're in the broom closet, you still have us to talk to! :)
~Bree