SimplyStrange
February 24th, 2002, 09:06 PM
Oi...oi oi oi oi oi...
Have you ever cared for someone so much and loved them so dearly you never wanted to let them go, but it gradually happens anyway? Have you ever had a friend so dear to you but irked you a bit once and you felt the need to be bratty and haven't talked to them since? Well, I have. And lemmie tell you it sucks. It really does.
In 8th grade, I met this wonderful guy, he was sooooo cool. I adored him, looked up to him...he was my best friend (in fact, he's the one who opened my eyes to Wicca/Paganism ;)). Well, second best, since no one could ever replace Ashley :). Anywho, we spent the whole year together, and the whole summer after. It was great, and we were so tight, such close friends. I never wanted him to get away. I never wanted to lose touch with him. He had planned to ask me out that year, and my "friend" at the time told him that I would say no(despite the fact that she knew I had the biggest crush on him), so he didn't...ever. It's cool that he didn't then, because I was only in 8th grade, and relationships in middle school really aren't relationships. So he and I continued to be best friends, even though there was some of that tension there, as we both really liked each other. Then one day toward the end of summer break, I felt the weird need to tell him my feelings for him...and that ruined it. He took some time to think about it, although I just took it as him trying to blow me off, and it upset me, so I didn't really talk to him for awhile. Then at the beginning of the next school year, I saw him at my school! I was so excited! He and I hung out and had a blast...but then he told me something odd....that he had the same feelings for me that I had told him I had...and it made me feel awkward...and I still thought at the time that he had blown me off...and I sort of blew him off. Then he kind of fell off the face of the planet for awhile, until one day I saw him at the mall, holding his little sister's hand (she's so cute), and said hi. I was excited to see him, it was great. But then he asked me for my friend's phone number, as they had been talking for awhile... -.-' *sigh* I felt hurt, so I told him I didn't (I really didn't), and he gave me his number to give to her, and said "oh, I've moved". That was the last I ever saw of him...
And just this year my ex-boyfriend and I had been talking once and he mentioned him...turns out they were good friends last year! My ex said that my friend had moved to Marana...it made sense now, that must have been why he told me he moved. I know that my friend had reached him at that number he gave me last year, because she spoke to me about talking to him...but now I can't ask my friend about it, because she moved back to Kentucky, and I don't have her number or adress, so I can't ask her if it's still his number, and if it's not, what his new one is...
Then just the other day in my Health class, I felt this strange longing for my friend. I needed him. I needed to talk to him... and it hurts, it really does, because I can't, and I'm blaming myself for this. Anywho, I found that number that he gave me in the mall in my room, and called it...but no one answered and I got an odd answering machine message about some "VIP Court"...but the odd thing is that it sounded JUST like his voice, so it got me thinking maybe it was a goofy message. I didn't leave a message, and called back a few times to no avail, but I don't think I'm going to stop calling until I get an answer. And if I get one that says "Hello?" I'll ask "Hello is [he] there?" and if it's something like "Thank you for calling VIP Court, this is Bob speaking, how may I help you?" I'll be like "Oh...I think I have the wrong number..."
Oi... I don't know why I got the strong urge to talk to him all of a sudden. It was so weird, I cared, but I had kind of dropped it and then WHAM the desire to talk to him just smacked me on my head like a ton of bricks, and now I can't stop thinking about him. I really really want him to be my friend again...I want to see him again. Gaaaaaaahhhhh, I know someone who has been telling me that I'm just going to have to let go, but I have that faith inside me still, that hope that I'll get ahold of him somehow. I just pray to the gods above that somehow I do. I really need him... he's so close...right there in Marana, which is pretty much connected and a part of Tucson, but yet he's so far...so out of reach...
</whine>
:wah::( SS :(:wah:
:wah2:
Have you ever cared for someone so much and loved them so dearly you never wanted to let them go, but it gradually happens anyway? Have you ever had a friend so dear to you but irked you a bit once and you felt the need to be bratty and haven't talked to them since? Well, I have. And lemmie tell you it sucks. It really does.
In 8th grade, I met this wonderful guy, he was sooooo cool. I adored him, looked up to him...he was my best friend (in fact, he's the one who opened my eyes to Wicca/Paganism ;)). Well, second best, since no one could ever replace Ashley :). Anywho, we spent the whole year together, and the whole summer after. It was great, and we were so tight, such close friends. I never wanted him to get away. I never wanted to lose touch with him. He had planned to ask me out that year, and my "friend" at the time told him that I would say no(despite the fact that she knew I had the biggest crush on him), so he didn't...ever. It's cool that he didn't then, because I was only in 8th grade, and relationships in middle school really aren't relationships. So he and I continued to be best friends, even though there was some of that tension there, as we both really liked each other. Then one day toward the end of summer break, I felt the weird need to tell him my feelings for him...and that ruined it. He took some time to think about it, although I just took it as him trying to blow me off, and it upset me, so I didn't really talk to him for awhile. Then at the beginning of the next school year, I saw him at my school! I was so excited! He and I hung out and had a blast...but then he told me something odd....that he had the same feelings for me that I had told him I had...and it made me feel awkward...and I still thought at the time that he had blown me off...and I sort of blew him off. Then he kind of fell off the face of the planet for awhile, until one day I saw him at the mall, holding his little sister's hand (she's so cute), and said hi. I was excited to see him, it was great. But then he asked me for my friend's phone number, as they had been talking for awhile... -.-' *sigh* I felt hurt, so I told him I didn't (I really didn't), and he gave me his number to give to her, and said "oh, I've moved". That was the last I ever saw of him...
And just this year my ex-boyfriend and I had been talking once and he mentioned him...turns out they were good friends last year! My ex said that my friend had moved to Marana...it made sense now, that must have been why he told me he moved. I know that my friend had reached him at that number he gave me last year, because she spoke to me about talking to him...but now I can't ask my friend about it, because she moved back to Kentucky, and I don't have her number or adress, so I can't ask her if it's still his number, and if it's not, what his new one is...
Then just the other day in my Health class, I felt this strange longing for my friend. I needed him. I needed to talk to him... and it hurts, it really does, because I can't, and I'm blaming myself for this. Anywho, I found that number that he gave me in the mall in my room, and called it...but no one answered and I got an odd answering machine message about some "VIP Court"...but the odd thing is that it sounded JUST like his voice, so it got me thinking maybe it was a goofy message. I didn't leave a message, and called back a few times to no avail, but I don't think I'm going to stop calling until I get an answer. And if I get one that says "Hello?" I'll ask "Hello is [he] there?" and if it's something like "Thank you for calling VIP Court, this is Bob speaking, how may I help you?" I'll be like "Oh...I think I have the wrong number..."
Oi... I don't know why I got the strong urge to talk to him all of a sudden. It was so weird, I cared, but I had kind of dropped it and then WHAM the desire to talk to him just smacked me on my head like a ton of bricks, and now I can't stop thinking about him. I really really want him to be my friend again...I want to see him again. Gaaaaaaahhhhh, I know someone who has been telling me that I'm just going to have to let go, but I have that faith inside me still, that hope that I'll get ahold of him somehow. I just pray to the gods above that somehow I do. I really need him... he's so close...right there in Marana, which is pretty much connected and a part of Tucson, but yet he's so far...so out of reach...
</whine>
:wah::( SS :(:wah:
:wah2: