Oy Vey...

[Kaylara]

Ok... So a few weeks ago, my girlfriend meets this guy John. She likes him, but my best friend knows him and pretty much hates him. (My girlfriend is living with my best friend btw) The girlfriend is pretty much cheating on me with him. (I consider it cheating because the extent of our conversations regarding this guy is her telling me that no one is giving him a chance, and how she thinks he's the best thing since sliced bread.) I've seen her about 3 times in as many weeks. She's spent just about every other waking monment with him. I've also found out some information about him, like that he may be going to jail shortly for burglary (which he denied doing to her, but you know that everyone in jail is innocent) and also that he is married. Separated, but he is still married... This is what's turning me into a nervous wreck. I love her, want to bitch slap him, and just don't want to deal with this crap anymore. I can't even have a serious conversation with her about this because she gets extremely defensive. I think that I should just break up with her and disappear for a while. If she wants to screw up her life fine. I care, but I don't, because she's doing it to herself. I just want to stop being so hurt, and feeling betrayed, and kinda like a doormat. I've bent over backwards for her, turned my life upside down for her. And now I feel like I've been taken for a ride by someone who may or may not have cared about me during this whole relationship. I don't like feeling this way. Her cousin is pissing me off too, but I'll write about that in a little while.

I need help guys, I really do... I'm really upset about this, so upset that I actaully started crying in front of my best friend. And anyone who knows me personally knows that I very rarely cry in front of people. Any advice that you can give me?

Thanks,
Kaylara

[Illuminatus]

She needs to be institutionalized, with her ex.
I hear hospitals have good drugs!!!!!!!

[Kaylara]

God Kenny... I love you...

:D

Kaylara

[Twilight]

i concur, just drop her off at the loony bin and leave a bogus phone number with the lady at the door, tee hee bye bye problems! :wave::wave::wave::wave::wave:

[Myst]

You know, I know a good assassin... ;)

[Kaylara]

I just want things to be cool again. I want to stop being so hurt.

Kaylara

[Radocs]

Like you said, it might be a good idea to just get away from her for a while. Time heals all wounds, as they say.

[Garnet]

Oh, sweetie *hug-because you need one*
IMO...Seperated is married but thinking about it. It sounds like your girlfriend is going through a 'Florence Nightengale' phase...the guy's 'broke' & she thinks she can fix/heal him. She can't, but she has to come to that conclusion on her own.
I agree ...time to create some space between you. If you elect to tell her rather than just moving to another country...:lol: say that it's apparent that she has some issues she has to resolve concerning your relationship, & you're giving her the space she needs to deal with it.
As long as you're being the brave 'stand-up' one, might as well make it her fault.

Garnet-Queen of Revenge

[NeoPhoenix]

I like your advice Garnet, though you make it sound like in time they should get back together. If this is so I would have to disagree. She apparently has issues, and it wouldn’t be wise to go back to her after this is all over with. If you want to stay friends with her afterwards Kaylara, go for it, but you are better than she is and don't need to be in a relationship with someone like that.... Confront her, say your peace, and don't contact her until you're over her, then if you still wish to be friends with her, you can deal with that then.

[Garnet]

Sorry if I sounded that they might eventually work it out. Based on personal experience, that only happens in 'movies of the week' on TV. I'm just an advocate of making it Kaylara's girlfriend's fault, because I think it is.
Good luck, Kaylara...& remember, there are always plenty of shoulders to cry on here.

[Illuminatus]

Originally posted by Garnet
Oh, sweetie *hug-because you need one*
IMO...Seperated is married but thinking about it. It sounds like your girlfriend is going through a 'Florence Nightengale' phase...the guy's 'broke' & she thinks she can fix/heal him. She can't, but she has to come to that conclusion on her own.
I agree ...time to create some space between you. If you elect to tell her rather than just moving to another country...:lol: say that it's apparent that she has some issues she has to resolve concerning your relationship, & you're giving her the space she needs to deal with it.

Interesting theory. Especially since you consider that this isn't the first "broken" mate she's attached herself to. Why is it girls always go for the broken/bad/stupid ones?

Anyway, I have a bat in my car, so Kaylara just tell me where to go and I will find them and settle this once and for all!!!! With my BAT!!! and their HEADS!!!!! and diplomacy. But mostly the bat!!!!!!!!! and guilt and cuteness, but also the bat.

(edit to add: I like the bat a lot, that's why I mentioned it 4 times)

[tangerine]

Kaylara, I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this. Separation from our loved ones always hurts, but especially so when we feel as if we've been betrayed. People can make stupid choices at times and it sounds like your girlfriend has done just that! Please do not blame yourself or feel as if she didn't care about you.

Honestly, I would chalk it up as yet another lesson in life and remove yourself from the situation. I know she lives with your best friend, but your friend will just have to come to you for a while. If your girlfriend is willing to date a married man, then as much as it hurts, she is not the type of person that you should be with.

PM me if you need to talk more. Remember, I don't live too far away, so if you ever need to get away for a night or so, give me a holler!

Alexis

[Xander67]

Originally posted by Illuminatus
She needs to be institutionalized, with her ex.
I hear hospitals have good drugs!!!!!!!

yeah, but not for People like her,

I guess she will just have to learn the hard way,
some people actually have no Kooth!

Kay, you dont deserve friends like that. You are a good person with a heart of GOLD.. (from what ive read here)

I cna understand how you are feeling, I was there before...It really hurts when you give the best of your friendship like that and then have it blow up like that like a slap in the face...

I would like to offer my bit of advice...

I've learned that sometimes its always people like us who wind up being made out to be the bad guy when everything comes to a head. DUMP HER!!! you dont need her....all she is doing is
draining you of Kindness and Love that you could give to someone who would realy realy apreciate it...and who would return it to you double....

It is not wirth your tears...I know you are hurting Kay but believe me....People like her never change , well they do eventually but you dont want to be in the mix when that life changeing event occurs...but someday, she will realise what a wonderful friend she had in you....realise how she tossed it to the wind....then she will be the one shedding the tears....


IN short I say DUMP HER....dont worry about her because obviously she is not worried about herself....


just my advice
but I wish you the best and hope the Goddess wipes your tears away and puts that cheesy grin right back on your face! :D

[Nina]

...please don't stick around in an unhappy situation - it stops those wounds from healing. You need some time and distance away from this woman. If it's meant to be, she'll see the truth, but unfortunately you're the one suffering right now. Stay focussed on what is good for you - be selfish for a while!

Oh, and take that bat away from Illuminatus, he's worrying me!!!!!

[Kaylara]

Thank you guys for all of the kind words... I'm going to mull this over in my head and clean my friends apartment today so I can feel better. Then I am going to plant things and ponder the mystery of seeds, so I have a bit of catharsis planned today. :)

Kaylara