Need advice related to rituals and priestessing

[Rhianna813]

I have been on the pagan path for 15 years or so, both solitary and in a couple of groups. I am not apart of any specific path and am generally Eclectic Wiccan I suppose. Personal ritual has always interested me.

I am lucky enough to be apart of a local women's temple who sponser public sabbats and have a semi private full moon circle. It's also very open and eclectic, which I like.

Well I have been getting some stronger urges and I guess messages lately that lead me to think I should be looking more closely into facilitating rituals. The images I get are very one on one, not group things like weddings or baby blessings. Just personal rituals maybe centering around fairly mundane things like career changes, relationship starts and stops, house blessings, and life changes. But I can tell if this is truly a calling it will be a while til in manifests....

But I gotta say I feel terrified thinking of doing work on this level. Like how could I possible do this or think I am anyone important to offer this to another? What, can I just set up shop as a High Priestess of Mine Own Self and beg to perform rituals for people? LOL If I think back I believe I started feeling drawn to this when my Grandmother died last year and I was at her bedside when she passed. I think it was more life changing than I originally thought. Recently I hosted a blessingway for a young woman whom I hardly know because I just felt completely drawn to give her some kind of rite of passage into motherhood. (which she indicated she needed)

As apart of the women's temple I am given the amazing opportunity to help create and facilitate any of their rituals and I just attended their ritual planning meeting last night. But I suck at public speaking and can't memorize a thing LOL I think this will be beneficial and a fun experience, but still I can tell the message I am getting is not so much public and group rituals but one on one rituals.

Does anyone have experience with performing private rituals for people (not in any sort of money making way of course) or even experience with getting a feeling or message that a path or tradition is calling to you? Why do I feel like suddenly I don't know what I am doing? :smash:

Also book recommendations on personal rituals would be appreciated.

Thanks!!!

[covenofkeys]

i'll have a look,then get back to you.....

[Cindlady2]

How do I start? The first step I guess is saying if you are feeling like you are compelled to do it, it's time. Start by just letting people know if they need help with things like like, that you are willing to try. Let them know your new at doing spells and rituals for other people but you feel it's time to 'give back' and help when you can.
For me it started when I came out of the 'Broom Closet'. People who knew I was a witch just started asking me to do this or that and now I do everything from house blessings to exorcisms. It just sort of happened because it was meant to. I see that you are nearly 40 this is a good age to be doing this type of 'work'. You have had some years of experience, you are no longer 'impulsive' but have become more aware of your intuition. You are nearing your crone years but probably need more experience with different aspects of 'witchieness'. Theses are the transition years of both learning and teaching. The years to gain knowledge and experience. What ever 'powers that be' must feel your ready.

Hope this made sense and helped.

[AoibhellFaeryMoon]

Public speaking isn't too bad...just practice reading outloud to yourself...maybe even record yourself and play it back, and critique it.

As for memorization...don't worry about that. You can read whatever you need to. My memory is shot, so I always have a copy of the ritual on hand.

[covenofkeys]

i'll be happy to answer some questions regarding this, if you pm me.....

[skilly-nilly]

i'll be happy to answer some questions regarding this, if you pm me.....

i'll be happy to answer some questions regarding this, if you pm me.....

Not that I am telling coven of keys what to do, because really what effect would I have if I did but I think that an important part of doing SpellWork for other people is that it should be public and discussable. I think that one of the beneficial side effects is to de-mystify and un-demonize Magic for people who don't use it themselves.

I agree with Cindlady2---if you openly do something for someone then many more people will ask you to do things for them. It comes about in a natural way, people talk and then they ask; if you're open and talk comfortably about it then people will understand what you do and want you to do it for them.

I do lots of different things and have for years; serious things like clearing houses, talking to a couple's dead child, making a bring-home-safe bind-rune for a solder in Afghanistan, divorcement proceedings, safe birth of twins on Hallowe'e'n and less-serious things like keeping birds from pooping on a friend's car, encouraging a bad boyfriend to move on, and lots and lots of attitude adjustment.

Right from the start, think out your guidelines:
Except for the special case I prefer not to talk to dead people
I don't require any sort of agreement with my own religion, but I do insist on acceptance and the belief that I am actually doing something real.
I don't take money but I accept gifts and I will ask that the recipient contribute the 'stuff' if I need something I don't have on hand. Or use something that costs to replace.

Know up-front that you'll have to have a ready-made stand on 'cursing'.
I don't do 'ill-will' Workings, so I don't judge the particular case or get into the 'justified' tangle; I just say no. It helps to have a rebuttal; mine goes like this:
person: "Can you curse my ex-boyfriend/spouse?"
me: "No."
them: "But he was realllllllllllllllllly bad to me!"
me: "Since he wasn't really bad to me, I wouldn't curse him. You could curse him, but then you'd be tied to him---would you want that?"
them: "noooooo."
me: "What about a cutting-ties or moving-on spell?"

An image that everyone who has watched the movie 'Labyrinth' remembers is when the girl (Sarah?) says to Davis Bowie The Goblin King, "You have no Power over me!" and all his power over her is ended. That's (in my experience) what most people really want to have happen with their exes.

Just do what you feel comfortable doing, and don't hesitate to decline what you don't feel ready for. If you work out a format for house-clearing that's meaningful for you to use you'll always get requests for that, it's something everyone understands and can be comfortable with and it gets your vibe going.

You describe yourself as a 'daughter of Bridget', so ask for Her help and inspiration. She is the Goddess of the Fire in the Head, the Inspirational Moment---Spelling for others is a part of Her Works so you have a ready-made guide.

Just do what happens.

[AoibhellFaeryMoon]

Great post, Skilly-Nilly! Well said!

[covenofkeys]

granted, what i do, and how i do it is for me and my coven members-i am not an open person-{when you think i mean something one way, i could mean it another.} if someone asks for help or advice, then so long as it does not interfere with oaths etc, i am willing and open to discussion.
but the minute it violates or could violate our ways, etc-i am silence in its purest form. agree, or not this is our way.

[Rhianna813]

How do I start? The first step I guess is saying if you are feeling like you are compelled to do it, it's time. Start by just letting people know if they need help with things like like, that you are willing to try. Let them know your new at doing spells and rituals for other people but you feel it's time to 'give back' and help when you can.
For me it started when I came out of the 'Broom Closet'. People who knew I was a witch just started asking me to do this or that and now I do everything from house blessings to exorcisms. It just sort of happened because it was meant to. I see that you are nearly 40 this is a good age to be doing this type of 'work'. You have had some years of experience, you are no longer 'impulsive' but have become more aware of your intuition. You are nearing your crone years but probably need more experience with different aspects of 'witchieness'. Theses are the transition years of both learning and teaching. The years to gain knowledge and experience. What ever 'powers that be' must feel your ready.

Hope this made sense and helped.

Thank you! You really nailed some things I was thinking, which is very affirming. I am 38 and a mom, to an almost 3 year old. This has been a confusing a time for me LOL I felt a certain sense of maturity and confidence in life, especially in my spirituality. Becoming a new mom really rocked my world. It changed my perspective, it made me a student again on a new path and it redefined my time and energy for absolutely everything in my life. You might know what I mean. But I have felt a change coming on and this new thing is apart of it. Yes a definite rebirth for me.

[Rhianna813]

Skilly-nilly,

Thank you so much for the real life examples and insights. This is very helpful. I believe in being authentic, which means giving to others only what you can truly offer. No exagerating or pretending or whatnot. I will never be an expert in all things witchy and I don’t want to be. I want to offer what I am drawn to or excited about. This will bring out the best in me. Thank you for affirming that what you or I have to offer is valid and worthwhile, just as it is.

What I am planning on doing next is starting a journal. So I can write down my free thoughts, look deeply at what the words Ritual, Rite of Passage, Initiation, etc mean to me. Write down questions to answer. Much like the guidelines you bring up.

I definitely think Brighid is communicating with me but I need to open up more to her guidance. I think I have a lot of things to learn but the almost ironic part is that everything I learn for myself can also be applied to my desire to help others. Creating rituals for myself, tuning into my own life changes and need for passages is an obvious place to start. Only it hasn’t been obvious enough LOL

Thank you again and if you have anymore insights or experiences to share, please do!

:cheers:

[skilly-nilly]

granted, what i do, and how i do it is for me and my coven members-i am not an open person-{when you think i mean something one way, i could mean it another.} if someone asks for help or advice, then so long as it does not interfere with oaths etc, i am willing and open to discussion.
but the minute it violates or could violate our ways, etc-i am silence in its purest form. agree, or not this is our way.

Sorry to say, I don't understand this post at-tall. What I thought I said in my post was that if you're going to do is discuss SpellWork with someone you don't personally know, you might as well do it on an open forum rather than in a pm. Or, if you really didn't want to discuss it openly or the person posting was a friend then you could pm them. Posting that you'll discuss the subject with them in a pm seems pointless to me---you could just pm that message.

I think that public communications also lets other people have opinions about what you say, and lets other people who might be interested in the topic 'listen' in and possibly gain insight.

As well, I think referring to oathbound secrets is a violation of the deepest point of the oath. There are things I won't discuss, but when they come up I don't go through the whole look-at-me loop of saying that I have knowledge I wont share (_whistle_ ) I just don't respond. IMO, an injunction to keep silence includes an injunction against pointing out that I am keeping silent.



Skilly-nilly,

Thank you so much for the real life examples and insights. This is very helpful. I believe in being authentic, which means giving to others only what you can truly offer. No exagerating or pretending or whatnot. I will never be an expert in all things witchy and I don’t want to be. I want to offer what I am drawn to or excited about. This will bring out the best in me. Thank you for affirming that what you or I have to offer is valid and worthwhile, just as it is.

What I am planning on doing next is starting a journal. So I can write down my free thoughts, look deeply at what the words Ritual, Rite of Passage, Initiation, etc mean to me. Write down questions to answer. Much like the guidelines you bring up.

I definitely think Brighid is communicating with me but I need to open up more to her guidance. I think I have a lot of things to learn but the almost ironic part is that everything I learn for myself can also be applied to my desire to help others. Creating rituals for myself, tuning into my own life changes and need for passages is an obvious place to start. Only it hasn’t been obvious enough LOL

Thank you again and if you have anymore insights or experiences to share, please do!

:cheers:

Thank you for your kind words!

I quoted the bird-poop Spell in another thread:
http://mysticwicks.com/showthread.php?p=2822696#post2822696

I think a journal is a great idea, and life-change rituals as well.

The Carmina Gadelica has some beautiful prayers to Bridget, you might also think about nightly observances (after your little one is asleep) or meditations:

http://www.sacred-texts.com/neu/celt/cg2/cg2018.htm

and

http://www.sacred-texts.com/neu/celt/cg1/cg1092.htm


Keep open!

[MankyCat]

If you feel that you should be doing it... then that's the direction you should take. I know that my path is one where I help some see their own gifts and talents and further them. Honestly, I sometimes feel a sense of envy for all their ability... but then remind myself that I have my own set of skills too. I'm not a teacher, I tell them, but an advisor. Discussions... not lectures.

However, I also do more personal spellworkings. I don't just walk up to people and say, "Hey, if you want me to cast a spell for you, let me know." I am out of the "broom closet", but not everyone knows my beliefs. Those I would cast for eventually learn that part of me. If they ask for assistance or seem completely lost as to what to do (and have tried to work on the issue), then I will offer my assistance... with their involvement. Nothing is free. I don't charge money, but I might have them bring certain things (food for after, spare change as an offering, a personal article, or what have you). The main thing though is that they are involved. They are working with me. If they are serious, then they will do this. Their energy is important in the working... and their acceptance of the consequences (on themself as well as anyone else who might be affected) of what we are doing.

But all because you are doing more personal workings doesn't mean that what you are doing isn't important.

I've helped remove a dark influence on a friend. I helped protect an unborn child that doctor's felt was likely going to either miscarry or have a birth defect (the doctors were shocked at the next set of tests when none of the issues were present any more.... and she's a live today, beautiful, and very smart). I helped remove a negative person from a family member's life and banish him.

There were many more things I helped people with in their lives... and it was important to each. Some it was even life changing.

In the end, do what you feel is right and do what you feel you must. And if you have a strong feeling or image in your mind that just keeps telling you "Do this!" then maybe you should do just as it says or at least explore it as a possibility. You are feeling that for a reason.

[Rhianna813]

Thank you Yuli! The part you mention about sharing the workings with the "client". I think this is SO important. I understand the role of wise woman or healer or Witch is that we are indeed experienced in magical workings. But I am firmly grounded in the idea that the seeker needs to be involved because magic is 99% intent. I want to help you tap your magic, not find it in me and tease it out LOL

It would not be cool to just have the person show up and sit back and watch, so to speak. Plus realisticly, some materials are usually involved (although I like to keep things simple/frugal) and if the seeker is drawn to a particular item, they should definitely fund it. Of course I think apart of this work is having some basic items around to freely offer like small candles, sachets and gems/stones etc... when appropriate.

:cheers:

[Ivy Artemisia]

As apart of the women's temple I am given the amazing opportunity to help create and facilitate any of their rituals and I just attended their ritual planning meeting last night. But I suck at public speaking and can't memorize a thing LOL I think this will be beneficial and a fun experience, but still I can tell the message I am getting is not so much public and group rituals but one on one rituals.

From one sucky public speaker to another, I have a little bit of advice. :) Practice. I, too struggle with memorization, and because of that, I like to use the same circle casting/ quarter calling each time I circle. (its easier that way). I don't remember if you mentioned if you've had any sort of group experience -Im late leaving from work and I don't have time to look back, I apologize- but I would definitely hook up with a few witchy friends and practice speaking out loud.

Practice your circle casting, and say the words like you mean it. (Assuming thats part of your planned ritual practice)

Also, if you are going to be working one on one, or in small groups, you still will be dealing with others' energies, and thus, working with a friend in raising energy, even just the 2 of you will help you get ready for energy raising in small circles.

The more you practice, the more confident you will get, the more solid your circles will be, etc. (once again, assuming thats part of your ritual practice) I remember when I started leading group circles in the beginning. Its weird to even hear your voice- and other people are listening? It can be a little unsettling at first, but you will SO get used to it.

You said something like "who am I to think I can do this?" You are a connection to divinity. You are being called- and the challenge is overcoming any weirdness/fear/insecurities. You might not want to 'set-up shop,' until you feel comfortable with your one-on-one ritual prowess, but you can totally do this.

:)