Pagan Mommy, Agnostic Daddy

[Zephania]

I was wondering if there were other parents out there who had a difficult time deciding how they were going to explain beliefs to their children? I have an 8 month old and have just lately began to think about how my husband and I will teach him about the world, morals, religion and spirituality. I know I have a long time before I have to start, but I'm just so confused.

My husband is Agnostic while I'm a solitary Wiccan. We want to let my son find his own path, but I would love to teach him what I believe. I don't know how to go about doing that without making my husband upset. I in no way wish to push my son, but I feel I wouldn't be a good mother if I didn't teach him something. I feel I would confuse him if I told him "Mommy believes in this but Daddy doesn't."

I know there isn't an easy answer, which is why I want to have time to figure out what we are going to do. Any help or suggestions are much appreciated.

Blessed Be.

[mtpathy]

my wife follows a more traditional stance on pagan beliefs, because of this she's going to be the one teaching the child about holidays there meanings, traditions, and all that good stuff.
i don't follow any religious beliefs, because of this i will be the one teaching the child meditation/zen techniques, and the concious practice of abilities such as aura reading and empathy depending on the childs character/pesonality traits.
for me the holiday season is more about the changing of the season, that is its purpose, for my wife she focuses more on the holiday itself.
two sides of same coin.

[Libris]

I can definitely relate. I'm pagan (celtic-druidic) and my husband is anamist-shamanic. We don't want to indoctrinate our child but we do want to share our spirituality and values. But it's such a fine line between guiding/sharing and pushing. I think we might try and get a circle scouts thing going in our area and study as many different religions as possible to give her a wide scope of spiritual beliefs.

[Chesna]

The first thing..is talk to your hubby and figure out what he is and isn't ok with. Me and my hubby have done this..I am Wiccan he is atheist. We decided that no one way would be used, but a combo of things. Like for now, the most pagan thing me and my daughter to is say good morning/good night to the sun, moon and stars and she is 4. When it comes to other things, I try to find a science reason for things and as she gets older add the spiritual piece..down the road when she wants to explore religion and spirituality, we will explain what both mom and dad believe and what the grandparents believe and follow her lead.

Chesna

[Amethyst Rose]

My methods are similar to Chesna's.... I'm pagan and my husband is athiest. My son is 3, and so far the most pagan I've gotten with him, is to try to instill a respect for nature...saying hello to the sun, being nice to plants etc. He asked me what a church was once (he asked if it was a castle), and I told him it was a place people went to to say thank you.

When he's older, I intend to teach him about a wide range of religions if he asks.... I'll explain to him that different people believe different things.

My husband is very adamant that my son isn't brought up inside a religion, or with religious beliefs, so I'm being very careful to teach with out indoctrination.

[Upside Daisy Down]

I was wondering if there were other parents out there who had a difficult time deciding how they were going to explain beliefs to their children? I have an 8 month old and have just lately began to think about how my husband and I will teach him about the world, morals, religion and spirituality. I know I have a long time before I have to start, but I'm just so confused.


Blessed Be.


Firstly, I just wanted to point out that morals and religion and spirituality are not mutually exclusive topics. It is totally possible to teach morality without having to apply a spiritual or religious spin to it. But, of course, I'm sure you know that.

That being said, I have lived my life as a devout atheist for the majority of my children's lives. However, I have also always lived my life with an expectation of respect for the earth, for the universal energy that connects us all...

I found, also, that children are far more capable of understanding some of this stuff than we expect them to be. Their beliefs are also a bit more fluid than those of adults...if you raise a child to understand that not all adults believe the same things then you're going to raise a child who is open-minded and capable of really discerning what he believes in without feeling guilty for not following his parents party line.

Anyway, my feelings are that you should be as (age-appropriately) honest with your child as necessary when he begins to ask his questions. Parents get caught in this trap of explaining things to their kids far beyond what is necessary to satisfy their kid's curiosity...Of course, you and your husband probably already agree on the core values you want to impart to your child, so it shouldn't be difficult to find a way to teach your value system while being honest with your child and still respecting each other's beliefs.

For the record--I'm a pagan. My husband is a Christian--not devout or hellfire and brimstone, but still a believer.