How do you know when it's time to move on?

[Sage Rainsong]

Hey everyone,

My life seems to be a little bit confusing at the moment. My friends seem to be moving on and I am having family issues. My current situation just seems worn out. i seem to be clinging to old friendships and outdated ideas of my family in order to stick around. I guess that I just needed to vent. Any advice would be appriciated.

[TheWomanMonster]

I wish I knew...
maybe it's when everyone else is telling you...
maybe it's when you feel it for yourself...

Gods I wish I knew.


*hugs*

[David19]

I don't know if i can help much, but i think maybe when you really feel it, like when you know that you have to move on, and that there's nothing that you're going to miss, then maybe that's the time.

That probably didn't help too much, but i hope it provided something, and i'm sure there are a lot more people who can help you :) :hugz:.

[Sage Rainsong]

bump!

[SSanf]

Are you married or talking about your family of origin? If you are talking about your parents family, that you want to move on from, you are about three years past due.

Get going and make your own life. What are you waiting for, an invitation?

If you are talking about your own wife and kids.....the time to move on from them is in about 60 years.

[NewPhoenix]

bump!


Hey Sage, you may just be going through a shift. It happens pretty often to people, especially nowdays. Instead of analyzing it too much or giving it too much thought, maybe you can just open yourself up to the change and allow it to develop naturally, and then see what happens. Your outer circumstances may be reflecting an inner transformation that you're going through. And when we transform like that, some of the people in our lives aren't going to fit with us any longer and it may be best to let them go, and then see what new people and circumstances come your way. :)

[NewPhoenix]

Are you married or talking about your family of origin? If you are talking about your parents family, that you want to move on from, you are about three years past due.

Get going and make your own life. What are you waiting for, an invitation?

If you are talking about your own wife and kids.....the time to move on from them is in about 60 years.

How rude.

[SSanf]

How rude.
Rude??

He is 24. It is past time for him to go on and give a shot at being his own person. How is that rude? He is supposed to feel restless and make a break. His friends are already doing it.

If he is just feeling tied down to a marriage, well, hopefully, it will pass. You don't leave a marriage because you feel restless.

Now, if you think stating the obvious is rude, my goodness, we have differing ideas of rude and that is for sure.

And, BTW, this is one of my GOOD days!

Didn't anyone ever tell you that it is rude to tell people that they are rude? Just wondering. It is one of those pot/kettle things. Oh, and if I hurt your feelings by pointing out that you are rude for calling me rude, I apologize. I am just not used to being around people of such delicacy and refinement.

[WiccanGoddess]

He is 24. It is past time for him to go on and give a shot at being his own person. It takes time, money, patience, and ability to move on. Perhaps he doesn't have such. Just because someone is an adult doesn't automatically mean, 'Move on', 'move out'. Sometimes, adults just don't have the funding or ability to do so. I'm 18. I don't have the ability to just 'up and move'. It's quite common.

This is 2006. There is no set time to 'move on'. When one feels it is time, that's when it should be done.

[StarPhoenix]

If you are feeling you need a change, then I'd say it's probably time to move on. If you can't because you are clinging to old ideas, then figure out what it is about those ideas and friendships that is keeping you there.

Once you figure out why you are sticking around, then you can figure out how to keep it in a new area of your life.

Like others have said, only you will really know when it's time. Live life as much as you can and one day you'll just wake up and say "Hey, I think I'll change things today. Now where is that apartment listing....." :hugz:

[Dio]

Hey everyone,

My life seems to be a little bit confusing at the moment. My friends seem to be moving on and I am having family issues. My current situation just seems worn out. i seem to be clinging to old friendships and outdated ideas of my family in order to stick around. I guess that I just needed to vent. Any advice would be appriciated.

If you're asking the question, it means you already know it's time to move on.

Life is all about change. Embrace it and allow yourself to evolve. It's sad sometimes. Scary other times. But it's much easier if you gracefully allow those changes to manifest in your life, rather than accepting a stagnant situation. View this as a challenge for yourself to grow and gain more wisdom.

You already know that this is what you need to do. So use that inner wisdom to help you find your new path.

Good luck.

[NewPhoenix]

Rude??

He is 24. It is past time for him to go on and give a shot at being his own person. How is that rude? He is supposed to feel restless and make a break. His friends are already doing it.

If he is just feeling tied down to a marriage, well, hopefully, it will pass. You don't leave a marriage because you feel restless.

Now, if you think stating the obvious is rude, my goodness, we have differing ideas of rude and that is for sure.

And, BTW, this is one of my GOOD days!

Didn't anyone ever tell you that it is rude to tell people that they are rude? Just wondering. It is one of those pot/kettle things. Oh, and if I hurt your feelings by pointing out that you are rude for calling me rude, I apologize. I am just not used to being around people of such delicacy and refinement.

LOL! You assume much... about him, about me... probably about other things as well. You're welcome to your opinion, of course. And you can justify yourself all you want. What you said was rude, in my opinion. It was obvious to me and so I stated it. Hurt me feelings? lol! no... but I thought it was just nasty of you. If you think I'm being rude for calling you rude... lol... that's your opinion too, go ahead and think what you want. Delicacy and refinement? HAHAHA!!! You're cracking me up.

And if this is one of your good days... all I can say is... YIKES!!!

[WiccanGoddess]

I am just not used to being around people of such delicacy and refinement.

Okay, now you're insulting and being disrespectful.

[SSanf]

I answered the question as stated in the post and assumed nothing, not even if he is married or single.

Now, if he wants a better answer, it is true that more information would help set up the question. Not his whole life story, of course, but a FEW relevant details.

He really wants SOME kind of answers, since he bumped the thread.

[WiccanGoddess]

I answered the question as stated in the post and assumed nothing, not even if he is married or single.

You assumed such as his age and ability.


He really wants SOME kind of answers, since he bumped the thread.

Obviously, but to be told he's 'old enough to move on'? Who sets this age you speak of? Yet again, you seem to be living in the past.

[Sage Rainsong]

Are you married or talking about your family of origin? If you are talking about your parents family, that you want to move on from, you are about three years past due.

Get going and make your own life. What are you waiting for, an invitation?

If you are talking about your own wife and kids.....the time to move on from them is in about 60 years.

The post was a little unessesarily harsh but, I am not really offended by it for the record. The post has more to do with my feelings of confusion, isolation, and anger at my family of origin. At the time that I wrote this post, I was having was one of thoes epiphany type deals that my life has a lot of worn out patterns but I don't want to betray my friends and my family by leaving them. I do love my family and friends but I need to think of me (which is a real problem for me). I should have been more clear. By the way I am not 3 years past due (just 1 or so lol) because I was in college at the time.

I do want to thank everyone who defended me though.

[Phoenix Blue]

Yet again, you seem to be living in the past.
ADMIN MODE

Debate the idea, don't attack the poster.

Additionally, if you feel someone's breaking a rule, report it and don't get involved.

[Dio]

I was having was one of thoes epiphany type deals that my life has a lot of worn out patterns but I don't want to betray my friends and my family by leaving them. I do love my family and friends but I need to think of me (which is a real problem for me). I should have been more clear.

I do want to thank everyone who defended me though.

You shouldn't feel obligated to stay in a stagnant situation for the sake of others. It's your life and you can and should live it however is best for you. Don't think of it as betrayal at all because it isn't. It's just you moving on and doing what's best for yourself. Those who love you will understand and back you 100% in whatever it is you choose to do.

[SSanf]

The post was a little unessesarily harsh but, I am not really offended by it for the record. The post has more to do with my feelings of confusion, isolation, and anger at my family of origin. At the time that I wrote this post, I was having was one of thoes epiphany type deals that my life has a lot of worn out patterns but I don't want to betray my friends and my family by leaving them. I do love my family and friends but I need to think of me (which is a real problem for me). I should have been more clear. By the way I am not 3 years past due (just 1 or so lol) because I was in college at the time.

I do want to thank everyone who defended me though.Think of it like this. When a child is born, the parents are hoping that they will grow into a strong self-suffcient adult. If they don't do that, something went wrong. It is not a betrayal to go forth and do what you were supposed to do from the time you were born. You should not think of it as a betrayal but as making your parents a success by achieving what they hoped for you from the begining.

[Sage Rainsong]

Think of it like this. When a child is born, the parents are hoping that they will grow into a strong self-suffcient adult. If they don't do that, something went wrong. It is not a betrayal to go forth and do what you were supposed to do from the time you were born. You should not think of it as a betrayal but as making your parents a success by achieving what they hoped for you from the begining.

I guess that's a good way way to look at it. Thanks.

[WitchJezebel]

You shouldn't feel obligated to stay in a stagnant situation for the sake of others. It's your life and you can and should live it however is best for you. Don't think of it as betrayal at all because it isn't. It's just you moving on and doing what's best for yourself. Those who love you will understand and back you 100% in whatever it is you choose to do.

I totally agree with you Dio; I was feeling like that at 21, not just because of family and "worn out" friends, I had my own apartment already and a full time job on Wall Street. My feelings were that there had to be something else out there than what I already had. I'll admit that my family wasn't pleased that I was going to move away but I did... 3000 miles to California. It was a hard road for awhile and even if your family is upset in the beginning, they really do get over it. You'd be surprised how much respect you earn from them when they realize that you just went out in search of yourself and your own life. Life is about chances, change and risks - go for it. As for the friends - I wouldn't worry about that so much, you'll change friends several times over in your lifetime and keep the few that really mean something forever. Remember the past ones with fondness, but enjoy meeting the new ones - you'll learn something from them.

[1111]

Hey everyone,

My life seems to be a little bit confusing at the moment. My friends seem to be moving on and I am having family issues. My current situation just seems worn out. i seem to be clinging to old friendships and outdated ideas of my family in order to stick around. I guess that I just needed to vent. Any advice would be appriciated.

You just know. Things look different, sound different and are different and they just don’t fit anymore. By asking that question, you already know. But the real question is, now what do you do about it? How do you make the changes necessary? It can be a long, hard, lonely road. It takes a lot of work and it takes faith and strength. But if it is meant to be, it will, no matter how hard it may seem at the time.

Wise advice I was taught during a very challenging time in my life was….it is not selfish it is self-preservation. And that is a very difficult lesson to put into motion, but once it is in motion, things just fall into place and everything improves. The worst part is when all is said and done you look around and say what took me so long? Don’t let too much time pass deciding, because regret plays a big part in it.

Good Luck. If you need something…a reading, whatever PM me.

Hang in there.

1111:wave:

[~Owl~]

Well, I can't speak too much on family isuues, as my issues are rather estranged and personal, but I have found myself in the heartbreaking position of letting go of a relationship that was going downhill for months, until finally, when things finally blew, I just let it go for good.

I can only wish you the best, dear.

Blessings,
~SilverFeather the Owl~