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She's going back. [Archive] - MysticWicks Online Pagan Community and Spiritual Sanctuary

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LadyCanine
October 25th, 2006, 08:05 AM
Yeah, basically what it says. Those that remember my previous posts about my friend and her ex...well tomorrow she is getting on a bus, her and her daughter and going to him in North Dakota. They are all supose to come back Nov. 20 and if things 'go good' there, she will stay with him.

I dont like it

He has done a complete 360 on everything and has even gone as far so tell her he wants to marry her when she gets up there, he doesnt care if she stays off BC cause he wants to have kids with her, he wont keep her from her friends, he loves her, cant and wont go another day without her.

Im about ready to scream, puke and wish him an ill fate, although I havent yet. (the ill fate)

She's told him she was sure about marriage or kids now, that they had to work stuff out, etc etc etc. He of course is ignoring that and called her one night asking her what type of ring she wanted.

I have tried to talk her out of it in a way. Not the 'oh dont go dong go' but talking to her and going over different things. You know, what happens is this happens? what are you going to do if such and such goes on again? what if she DID marry him and things when back to like they were? I told her sternly on that one that we BOTH knew how hard divorces were and what jerks we were married to at the time.

He says he's willing to let 'bigones be bigones' with me and 'start over'. I basically told her F-that, I dont care and I dont let go of somethings easily. I told her I would be civil, but not to expect much. So long as he doesnt bitch and moan etc about us being friends, he can stay far away from me. He thinks he's a big bad arse who can 'whoop anyone'. Likes to start fights and get into fights. Not to brag to much, I mean even my husband knows he cant take on everyone and has taken his share of buttkickings, and for the most part tries to avoid it at all cost (he went into a mental hosptial at 17 due to his temper and other things) Hes grown up alot since then, and does try to find a different approach to things, but he's also the type that you dont mess with his family and he'll do what he's gotta do. So im worried on THAT aspect cause my DH wants NOTHING to do with him and in not so nice terms, like me, told her she shouldnt go back. If he comes back around and something happens again with me and him like last time, I might not be able to stop DH next time..................................and im not sure if we have enough money for bail! (keep in mind something serious would have to happen for it to go that far, but im a worry wort with this stuff)

Im worried that if she gets up there, she wont be able to get back. She's taking a bus so she wont have her car, she only has him up there, no friends or family so no one to turn to. She says if things dont go good she'd stick it out til Nov. 20 till they came home. Im worried that he'll do like he's done before and push it back with 'oh just another week.........two weeks.....etc'. Or worst case she calls him on it quickly and he does something to her.

This stinks all the way around. Keep her and her lil girl in your thoughs/prayers and send some stong/good/positive/supportive energies their way.

covenofkeys
October 25th, 2006, 08:40 AM
possitive energy to her and you too. hugs-you are all in my thoughts, i hope it turns out the way she hopes, i really do.dont be angry with her-let her know you think its a big mistake and that youre here for her no matter what-never say i told you so, if it all goes pear shaped-shell need you, and your friendship.its tough i know, but we all must learn the lessons in life.

LadyCanine
October 25th, 2006, 08:13 PM
She knows how I feel about it, and she knows that I got her back no matter what. I just worry, ya know? She's like my sister.

I support her no matter what, but I refuse to have any part of him and im afraid when it comes down to it, thats going to effect our relationship, but I cant be around him. I dont believe him and I dont trust him and the fact that one night he said he didnt want any of this stuff he's saying, and the next night (literly, it WAS the following night) he wants to marry her as soon as she gets there, have babies and all sorts of stuff. My gut is sending up tons of red flags on this.

<sigh>

I'm hoping it'll all turn out good though.

Xander67
October 25th, 2006, 08:33 PM
I can't believe she is falling for it....... is she at least getting a round trip ticket? that is the only way Id agree to such an idiotic request....

I wish her the best, I wish you the best... and you have every right to tell her in advance "you told her so"

the whole "he wants to marry her as soon as she gets there" is creeping me out...
what about her family??

LadyCanine
October 25th, 2006, 10:37 PM
I can't believe she is falling for it....... is she at least getting a round trip ticket? that is the only way Id agree to such an idiotic request....

I wish her the best, I wish you the best... and you have every right to tell her in advance "you told her so"

the whole "he wants to marry her as soon as she gets there" is creeping me out...
what about her family??

o no get this, they are going by BUS. Which is one way and will take 35 hourse to get there! Her daughter just turned 4, now tell me that child aint gonna pitch a fit with bordom it being so long? lol. I know this kid and she is a doll, but, yeah....she can throw those tantrums and I see this happening.

Plane tickets were 'to much money'.

If things go bad she said she would just stick it out until his job ended there and they 'came back' in Nov. What worries me is that, he will start to push that back saying 'o we cant go yet, wait a week' and that in turn turning out longer.

Her grandfather just had lung surgery to remove cancer and her granny is having surgery in a few weeks. They told her they werent going through this again, they had to much stress and just do what she wanted. In all I cant blame them to much, in the end shes gonna do what she wants no matter what anyone says.

Her mom and her sat down and talked about it and her mom wants her to be happy and is holding out that maybe he will change. Her step dad really hasnt said anything that I know of.

I just dont know what to think myself. I want her to be happy, but my entire gut is just saying that this is going to end badly. If it doesnt, I will be EXTREMLY surprised. I told her flat out if he pushes to much to get married and have a baby and doesnt respect your wishes to want to wait awhile, then he doesnt love you.

I feel bad to, cause I know she wants us all to be friends, but I just cant..shes lucky im willing to be civil to him! Is it wrong of me to want him no wheres me or my family? I've thought about maybe TRYING to be friends again but every time that thought comes to mind I want to puke and that gut feeling screams "dont you dare do it!"

I guess all I can do is just hug her, tell her I love her and watch her go on..<sigh>

Thanks for listening.