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tube527
March 10th, 2002, 05:13 AM
Ok-
I don't know know my exact point for posting, whether it is to rant or to look for thoughts and insights, but I am going through somewhat of a tough time in my life. I recently started seeing a very close friend of mine...so close that I never thought anything would ever come of it. Well something did but I never thought deeply into it because I didn't want to jump to conclusions. Well, everything was going fine for a couple of weeks, and then things just started to become strange, basically because neither of us knew how to act since we had always been such good friends. We never talked about what we were, and then just recently he told me he felt strange and thinks we are better as being friends and doesn't see us as anything more than that, but I know in my heart that that is not the case, I think he is afraid, but besides the point....I never realized I had such strong feelings for him until after we were "offically unoffical", since there was never a label. It kills me that it is back to a friendship. but I would rather have that than nothing at all. My heart, mind, and soul know that there is something there. You know that feeling? That feeling not of emptiness, but that of knowing...knowing you two have something, but not knowing what to do? In my heart I feel he cares about me not in only a friendship, but i don't know what to do about it...I'm home for my university's spring break, so I haven't seen him since the "talk", and I know myself and how I can be, so I can keep a friendship, but everytime I think of him this feeling overwhelms me as if, "no, there is something there that you shouldn't ignore!" For all that read this, I would love any insight you have, whether it be prayers, ideas, why I"m feeling this (it's not a "love" feeling)....or even any type of reading that you can do cause it is such a strange feeling....thank you to all who have read this and taken the time to take a minute out of your life to help me figure out what I should do.....
BB,
Tube

Elida
March 10th, 2002, 05:42 AM
A connection that yor souls have made.

You don't have to be in love with someone to be intrinsically connected to them.

Enchantedlight
March 10th, 2002, 09:54 AM
All you can do is to let it ride and enjoy his friendship, don't push him into anything he is not ready for, that will only make him more distant.
Hope everything works out foy you.
:)

Arduinna
March 10th, 2002, 10:47 AM
been there..done that...

It does feel weird when you were friends and then take it to the next step. I did that with a very good male friend once. We both felt wierd and didn't know how to relate to each other anymore.

We had to take a step back. Like your friend has done. I think he is afraid that if your new kind of relationship doesn't work out, that he will lose you as a friend. So he is chosing now to not take that chance. Give him some space to figure it all out.

Good Luck to you both.

Ganga
March 10th, 2002, 01:41 PM
Hmm, guys can be very strange. They usuallay need more space around themselves to feel independent and free. But starting a relationship with friendship is the best way to start it. Believe me. When the romance cools off (as it always does after a year or two or, if the relationship becomes really serious, after the kids are born), what do you have left? If you started by being friends, you'll still be friends.

So, good luck to both of you!

Ganga
March 10th, 2002, 01:43 PM
Oops, and I better clarify that by "romance cooling off" I don't mean separation/ending the relationship. I simply mean that no couple stays romantically "in love" forever. There has to be something stronger to hold the two people together. Friendship is an ideal bond.

Nina
March 10th, 2002, 03:21 PM
Friendship and respect. That's what real love is all about. Now, if only I could find it somewhere!!!;)

kblackthorne
March 12th, 2002, 02:43 AM
only a friendship

That phrase bugs me. What's so "only" about friendship?

Some of the deepest, most profound relationships in my life have been friendships... usually the ones where we chose not to allow it to become romantic.