Im stuck in a rut

[Katss]

I have come to a point in life where I think I need some input from others who are not directly involved in my life.

A few years back I hit a brick wall in life after having some tragic family events occur. It greatly affected my work, and home life to the point I found myself starting completely over alone. After some time I had pieced it all back together and it was then that I became fully happy for the first time I remembered in years.

During that time I met someone that became a significant part of my life. After much thought and stress I chose to give up all I had worked for, and start over thousands of miles away. From then until now I have been working on finding a niche, and perhaps getting back what I feel I had so blindly given up.

Here I find myself back where I started job wise, and it just doesnt feel the same. I force myself to go to work daily, as if I am fighting some demon inside. I have been with a few jobs since I started my life here, and the same pattern is repeating. I take any little issue and turn it into a reason to not work, to not care, to not want to try, and miss significant amounts of work. If I could I would call in sick daily, but of course financially I would be making my own grave. I have no idea why but it feels like it did when I had family tragedy years ago. I have slipped into a mindset of not wanting to do anything, not even my school work, and all I can think about is going back to that time when I had accomplished happiness on my own.

I really dont know what to do, aside from making me pull my socks up and move forward. But I cant help but think there is a reason that I dont want to try. I am reminded ofen that if I wanted, I could go back to my happy point. I could have my job back just where I left it, and my life. But is that the answer, or is there something else going on here?

[Aleannah]

Without knowing what these events were that occurred in the past, did you receive any counseling for them? Sometimes in life, we are confronted with events that are very difficult to get over, and instead of seeking counseling, we simply try to move on in other aspects of our life and build a little wall to keep the other stuff at bay while we focus on trying to build our "new life". If this is the case, then the old stuff is creeping out and you may need to seek out counseling to heal properly and readjust your life's focus so that you can be happy and financially okay once again. :hugz:

[Katss]

Well, I did spend a few months in counselling, but I suppose I worry that with my absence these events (risk of loosing my parents) could happen again and I wont be there this time to make sure its all okay. Thats the only thing I can think of that may relate the two.

[Aleannah]

I guess another question could be is do you resent this person in your life because you gave up everything you had accomplished on your own to move and be with them? Is there any way you could move back to where you were and they come with you? What elements could you apply from your happier life to the one you have now? How could you incorporate the two to reach a suitable resolution? What thoughts are you having that are undermining your current life? I know I go through a seasonal bout of not liking where my life is and needing change and things of that sort in the late winter/early spring. I become very disenchanted with my life, even though nothing has changed...it's just my perspective. Then, in a couple of months everything gets back to normal. But that's me...and it's taken many years for me to realize this pattern.

[Katss]

I guess another question could be is do you resent this person in your life because you gave up everything you had accomplished on your own to move and be with them?

I believe somedays I really do.

Is there any way you could move back to where you were and they come with you?

Its not an option, I suppose its my one big wish, but it will never happen


What elements could you apply from your happier life to the one you have now? How could you incorporate the two to reach a suitable resolution? What thoughts are you having that are undermining your current life?

I really dont know, I am at a loss for any answers

I know I go through a seasonal bout of not liking where my life is and needing change and things of that sort in the late winter/early spring. I become very disenchanted with my life, even though nothing has changed...it's just my perspective. Then, in a couple of months everything gets back to normal. But that's me...and it's taken many years for me to realize this pattern.

I wish I felt that was the issue.. perhaps it is and I just dont see it :(