Life is hard.

[blackroseivy]

No... ****.

Well, I have a guy in my life - SORT of, we haven't met yet. I have yet to introduce the idea of bi-polarity & disabledness... Don't know how he's going to take that.

On top of which, I have to try to sell my paintings. Folks on eBay aren't having any... I mean, here I am trying to GIVE them away!!! :( My latest auction is 3 fairy ACEO's, all for $1 apiece & at this point, not a single bid. Yet, someplace wants to hang my work locally, I know that it's actually good...

I think that I am lonely, & the starting of a relationship is moving too slowly for me - although of course I know that that's how it has to be. He has a 3-year-old son who I must get to know. This is another stress.

Mainly, I have to say "goodbye" to another fellow I started talking to at about the same time - he is rather on the older side for me, he wants to move to Santa Fe - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! - & he's never been married, which at his age spells "commitmentophobe" to me... Even if it doesn't, I am too far along myself to want to take a chance.

Cool guy, but wrong for me...

Maybe I'm just whining!!! :(

[CzechWoods]

never sell yourself under value

neither on ebay, nor in relationships

and never make yourself dependant on how others perceive you/appreciate you

find the love for yourself within

[blackroseivy]

Thank you belatedly, I needed that...! :)

[blackroseivy]

As a matter of fact, I was gonna put up more here anyhoo, even if no-one cares... :(

Well, that guy never even met me. He decided - after having been the one to approach me - that it was too far.

They always leave.

For whatever reason, no-one ever stays.

I have a couple of guys out there that have my phone # - I am hoping, STILL, for better luck... :(

I want to study therapy - I can't because of my position. At least, I can get an online BA, but that's it until my situation changes - & that's ONLY PROVIDED I receive financial aid.

All of which sounds like whining.

I just feel very lonely & somewhat worthless, often enough it's a mystery as to why I even continue on...

So, Czechwoods, thanx anyway for being supportive. I'll get through somehow, I suppose...

[Mainedruid]

ahhhh I know all too well what your saying!!

Love your self, the right guy will come along when you least expect it, blaa blaa blaa... right?

I have been longing and longing for some one, pickings around here where I live are pretty slim. I get frustrated alot about the whole dating scene. I have come to realise this though, and so far its working.

Smile... look and feel confident... try to meet friends... I am no longer looking for that perfect some one, I DO want to meet people though. My theory is this.

In the long run... one of those friends I have meet will probably turn out to be the one I end up with. I am willing to wait for a really good relationship, in the mean time... I'll wait and down load all the internet porn I can

good luck in your search, things will happen when its time.
Mike

[BlueEyedWolf]

:hugz: :hugz: :hugz:... _cookie_ :javaswim:

[TheWomanMonster]

Danubhe just wanted to say,
you'll be just fine.
Don't be too concerned with how things look right now.
Just hold your head high and push on through.

I know love will find you,
maybe when you're not even looking for it.

Be Blessed,
and know that you are.

Sending peace and love to you.
_pounce_
Be Happy.

[CzechWoods]

danubhe. i dont want to sound like know-it-all nor heartless

what i say is emant with all love and support.


take one step at the time

the first of all steps is the battle plan

what do you want to achieve.

meditate on this, take your time and than write down all that you want

achievable or rather dreamy ? dont censor yourself write all your wants and dreams

second step: order what you havbe written. make sutre you understand what is really important to you, and what could stay a dream, for a while

step3: order the list in a way, what is the first achievable thing. what would you need to get to it.

step4. go for goal one

step 5: start loving and apreciating yourself
do self acceptance rituals if need be

start loving yourself, strengthening the what is good in you, pamper yourself etc
once you achieve self love, all other stuff will sort itself out easier.

until then, stick to the battleplans

[blackroseivy]

Oh absolutely - I KNOW that what you say would work!! I am starting to be FAR more assertive in my life than I ever used to be, thinking that just maybe I can achieve something with my life. Where do you go here to report good things? Because I will want people to know when that gallery - WHATEVER gallery "that" gallery turns out to be - accepts me. & of course if I manage to get into a therapy degree program.

Mike - maybe WE could be friends. ;) hehe Lovely thoughts & I thank you.

Yeah, a battle plan - thanx for the support, yes I'm serious about feeling lacking in my life, about feeling hopeless sometimes. But I am definitely trying hard to change things.

I can't make friends in this tiny town - no-one is interested. ESPECIALLY not in someone who is Druidic/Neoplatonic!!! :p Nothing doing. I have 1 friend, sorta - can't really call him a friend, I never see him & have only really talked to him maybe 2x. I told him to call me & of course he never did. He has serious problems - recovering alchoholic, a background of abuse... Well, I dunno. I never see him anyway.

Friends with another guy, he's VERY married...

That & my buds at the mental-health dropin are my only social life.

Where do I meet anyone? Local pub is all about total buds getting together - no-one takes any notice of strangers.

I am now going to my local UU church - all the singles are gay...

*sigh*

I'll keep trying.