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Athena-Nadine
October 30th, 2006, 12:30 PM
I know this properly should have been posted in Energy Requests, but I've shared so many ups and downs, yours and mine, with all of you through the years that I thought it would be better here. :)

As most of you know, I have hypothyroidism. I have been on medication now for almost two months, and I am going in to my doctor on Thrusday to have my thyroid levels checked to see if my medication needs to be adjusted. In November, we are also going to begin trying for our second and last biological child. And I am terrified. After carrying Robert to term you would think that I would be a bit more confident in this, but I can't help but remember the two losses I suffered before getting pregnant with him. I am automatically high risk, the moment I become pregnant, because my first pregnancy was ectopic. I lost the second one to miscarriage at 6 weeks. And now, my fertility may be compromised by my thyroid disorder, and am higher risk for that as well, both for miscarriage and during a viable pregnancy.

I am 33 years old now, and my husband is 38. I do not, will not, go past 35 and have another baby. I have enough to worry about without adding another level of risk. So we agreed to start trying in a few weeks. We agreed on this before Robert was even born and have stuck with it. But I'm so scared. I'm afraid I won't be able to get pregnant now, but mostly, I'm afraid of losing another pregnancy. I don't think I could bring myself to try again this time if I miscarried or otherwise lost another one. My husband knows my feelings and is understanding and accepting of them, but we really want another child.

Any thoughts, energy, or baby dust you could spare would be immensely appreciated. :)

Morr
October 30th, 2006, 02:02 PM
Sharing the baby dust with you ;)

And wishing you lots of love, sending warm fuzzy baby energy, and lots of hugs.

Chesna
October 30th, 2006, 02:07 PM
First..:hugz:
I have never had to experience such loss like you have and words fail me right now.
My only advice is to stay as calm as possible and give this process of TTC to the gods. Leave it up to them to show you were you need to go. Know that all of us here will be sending energies, good thoghts and healthy sperm vibes :) your way.
Can you talk to the dr you will be seeing regarding your concerns and see if they have any suggestions or ideas.

Good Luck and we are here if you need us!!


Chesna

Seren_
October 30th, 2006, 02:35 PM
After trying for two years and being told I was infertile, I found out I was pregnant with Tom...then when we decided to try for another I assumed it would take just as long. I was pregnant within three months. Miracles can happen :hugz: I'll be thinking baby thoughts for you.

Hellenic_Witch
October 30th, 2006, 03:04 PM
*hugs*

I understand your fear, I really do.

I will include you in my prayers.

May the gods protect and bless you.

nomadicdragon
October 30th, 2006, 03:20 PM
*hugs & energy*

Athena-Nadine
October 30th, 2006, 03:27 PM
Thanks everyone. _pounce_

What will be, will be, I know. Only the Moirai know what is to come. I know everything will be fine no matter what happens. I have so many blessings in my life, and I am grateful for every one of them. It is those very blessings that make me so anxious to have another child. :) It my joy, and my duty, to share them with my child(ren).

Narissa
October 30th, 2006, 10:34 PM
I wish you all the best and much luck :hugz:

Philosophia
October 30th, 2006, 10:42 PM
Sending healing, protective, positive and comforting energy to you and your family! :hugz:

DragonsChest
October 30th, 2006, 10:46 PM
Lots of baby luck and dragon strength! :hugz: DC

Revilo
October 31st, 2006, 11:00 AM
I think you need to try and ignore the term 'high risk' it's a blanket term that is used internationally to say... there are a couple of factors we need to keep an eye on here. But to the unproffessional it sounds horrible, risk is a scary word when putting ourselves into a situation. You know you are capable physically to carry so just concentrate on your inner strength here.

Dont expect too much straight away or become disheartened when things dont seem to be working out as soon as you hoped, keep your chin up and your determination even higher and you will get through this.

wishing you the best of luck and lots of babydust.

Lunacie
October 31st, 2006, 11:08 AM
Sending brave thoughts, hopeful energies and a bounty of baby dust! ;)

Athena-Nadine
October 31st, 2006, 11:09 AM
Thanks. :) In my case, being "high risk" has a specific definition. It means that I am at a higher risk of having another tubal pregnancy because I had one already, and it means that I am at a higher risk for miscarriage. Aside from that, I have a good chance of carrying a perfectly healthy baby. :)

I'm really not worried about my ability to get pregnant. At least, not at the moment, since I haven't been given a reason to be. I am afraid of osing the baby once I become pregnant. No, it may not happen again, and I really hope it doesn't, but I don't think I will be able to bring myself to try again if it does. It hurts too much and I can't keep putting myself through that, for my own sanity.

Revilo
October 31st, 2006, 05:41 PM
I understand your high risk factors.. honestly I do and I have not myself been through either. But at the moment Im carrying twins(fingers crossed I find out monday if they are both viable)But im now ''high risk'' and as soon as they said that I freaked... its the words they are awful for a vulnerable woman. Im not trying to belittle your reasons in anyway, honestly Im not, I just think it might help if you try not to concentrate on them.

Athena-Nadine
October 31st, 2006, 05:53 PM
I understand your high risk factors.. honestly I do and I have not myself been through either. But at the moment Im carrying twins(fingers crossed I find out monday if they are both viable)But im now ''high risk'' and as soon as they said that I freaked... its the words they are awful for a vulnerable woman. Im not trying to belittle your reasons in anyway, honestly Im not, I just think it might help if you try not to concentrate on them.
No, I know what you're saying, and I don't disagree. :) Hearing those words from your doctor can be terrifying, especially when already pregnant. Sadly, it isn't the words I fear; it's history repeating itself. And it may not happen, and it may turn out that I may have nothing to worry about. I do try really hard not to think about it so much, but the fear of it happening again is always in the back of my mind, no matter what I do to try to ignore it.

Congrats on your pregnancy. Twins! That's so exciting! I'll say a prayer for you nd your babies to make it to term healthy and safe. :hugz:

Revilo
October 31st, 2006, 10:50 PM
thank you.

HorseCrow
November 1st, 2006, 03:52 AM
(((Energy and dust sent your way)))

By the way- that 35-year thing in connection to risk is VERY exaggerated. I would have absolutely no worries having children after that age.

Athena-Nadine
November 1st, 2006, 11:31 AM
(((Energy and dust sent your way)))

Thanks. :hugz:


By the way- that 35-year thing in connection to risk is VERY exaggerated. I would have absolutely no worries having children after that age.
*...nods...* I know. :) But when you're already stressed and frightened, the demons in your head make everything seem worse, you know?

Amethyst Rose
November 2nd, 2006, 01:49 AM
I can't pretend to understand what it's been like for you, going through two losses, and so I really don't have any advice to share on that front. I can give you lots of good luck and baby dust, though.

If you need a large support group of people who have gone through what you have, I suggest subscribing to fertilityfriend.com ($10 a monthy) You don't need to use the charting features or anything, but the community may be a real asset to you.

Kalika
November 2nd, 2006, 03:17 PM
:woot:

Good luck!! :)

:hugz: