I really don't want to.

[Protagonist]

This is not something I usually do, but I'm hoping that you pagans will understand more than most, since Halloween is one of your high holidays.

For several months, I and my friends planned to dress up as, essentially, "undead college students," and we were going to splash our college shirts with fake chocolate blood any everything. Sounds fine.

Last week, a fairly close friend of mine here at college committed suicide. This has pretty much changed my life, and I'm still pretty distraught. I attended the funeral today, and it's just starting to sink in that, no, he's not coming back.

After the funeral I collapsed in bed for a few hours crying, and my friends came to see me later. They'd spent the afternoon making those bloody college shirts and shoved one in my face. I don't quite know how to explain to them that I just can't bring myself to wear it.

What's worse, another friend of mine overheard them making those. Someone was staring at the fake blood, and one of my friends said, "Yeah, we'll miss 'em." That alone makes me wish they felt like I did, but I know they don't. Am I just being emo? Not wanting to wear the costume is more for me than for my deceased friend. I just don't think I could wear it without crying all day.

[Marcasite]

you're certainly not being 'emo'. It's quite understandable that your upset by your friend's suicide. I don't see why they wouldn't understand if you tell them the truth. It's quite possible that you knew your friend much better than they did and thus are feeling the pain more. If they don't understand then they're not worth it :hugz:

[Philosophia]

IMO, no, you're not being emo. Your grieving right now, and if wearing the costume makes you uncomfortable, then don't do it. You have make time for yourself and right now, its not a good idea for you to push yourself into anything that you don't want to do.
Do or wear something that makes you feel good and comfortable. But remember, you are grieving and its up to you to decide how you want to grieve. Nobody can force you, and nobody should. If you don't feel comfortable dressing up, then don't.
:hugz:

[Lunacie]

I don't think I could do it either. Sympathies on the loss you're feeling now. :hugz:

[CzechWoods]

if you really dont want to, than dont

dont give a crap about whether your friends understand or solidarize with you - or not

if i wear you, i d make a simple t-shirt, white, with red/black letters

in memory of NAME

INSTEAD OF THE BLOOD SHED THING; IN THIS GIVEN SITUATION:

sorry caps