Please help me!!!

[shnen]

OK, Last year my best friends Nanny (grandmother), grandfather and great aunt all died (not at once). Her Nanny died first and was the hardest as it wasn't expected.
In speaking with my friend yesterday she told me that yesterday was 1 year since her Nanny died... and I could have sworn that it was the 15th... I remember thinking "beware the Ides of March" when I had found out that her Nanny died.
So she told me she was relieved it was now over and that all week long she has been waiting for something to happen... but it hasn't, but now here's the kicker:
I was going through my files (for tax stuff) and I found her nanny's obit., and it said she did indeed die on the 15th!

So now what do I do? Do I tell her and let her have another week of fear, or do I tell her on Friday so she can still remember her Nanny on the day she passed. Any suggestions PLEASE! I hate seeing my friend in pain, she has had a very rough year and she sounded so relieved to have the 1 yr. date gone past...

Thanks.

I really wasn't sure where to put this... but I need some options...:(

[Mercuria]

Maybe you could just let it slide and not tell her at all, I mean, if she's really cut up over this what difference does an exact date make?

If you really have to tell her, I'd do it gently on friday morning.

Mercuria

[Enchantedlight]

Yes I agree, wait til the weekend or even monday. Do tell her though, so she can ammend her diary.

[WandererInGray]

*nods* I'd agree with Mercuria. *soft smile* It doesn't really matter that she got the *exact* date wrong.

What's important is that she remembers her.

[shnen]

yes, but since she made such a big deal to begin with on the date I think it's probably important to her.

on the other hand, she went through so much stress last week expecting something bad to happen i don't want to make her go through it all over again!:eek:

[Yvonne Belisle]

Let the date go by then in about a week after it has gone tell her you were going through some things and came across the obit and noticed the date. She shouldn't freak out at that point since the critical point in her mind has already gone by safely.

[Old Witch]

I agree with Yvonne, don't let it become a self-fulfilling prophecy!!

[kblackthorne]

Good response, Yvonne. Perfect.

[shnen]

yes... I agree, I'll let her know afterwards, she's already grieved this year, she doesn't need to do it again.

Thanks!:cool:

[Sephiroth]

i have to agree with everyone here so there isnt much that i can say.

[shnen]

OK, so I have held off telling her, and she seems to be a lot better now that last week is over. *hopefully* if/when I move I will just tell her I found the obit and mention it to her.

thanks all for your great advice, it was a hard week, but I did it!


:)

[kblackthorne]

Hats off. :) One week of needless suffering & worry (on her part) averted.

[shnen]

Thanks, I find it hard to keep anything from her, she is my dearest friend, but thinking about the pain I would have caused her, I know I made the right decision!

*smiling shyly* of course with all your advice and support!:):):)

[Twig]

In my opinion, you did the right and noble thing. Death is a hard thing to get through for anyone. Don't bring it up to her unless she pushes it. Her mind did that for a reason I think.

Peace,
Twig
:elf: