Knight
October 31st, 2006, 08:18 PM
I seem to get bummed out a lot near Halloween, and this year is no exception. I don't know why. Perhaps it's near the anniversary of my Mom's death (Nov. 2), or just the whole dead leaves, winter's coming vibe.
I picked up my girlfriend from work. She dressed as a witch, green face makeup, spiders spirit gummed to her face (they're allowed to dress up if they want). She's really into it. I just wish I could be. After we got home, we walked the neighborhood, checking out the decorations. The weather is beautiful, with the moon just past half riding above the clouds. There's a little bit of a breeze that shakes the leaves. If we were in a group, it would be a perfect night for a ritual.
But we're not in a group. We don't do rituals much at all. I feel like I don't belong, like I'm outside looking in. Even before discovering Paganism, I've felt like this, but now more than ever.
I wish I knew how to get over this.
I picked up my girlfriend from work. She dressed as a witch, green face makeup, spiders spirit gummed to her face (they're allowed to dress up if they want). She's really into it. I just wish I could be. After we got home, we walked the neighborhood, checking out the decorations. The weather is beautiful, with the moon just past half riding above the clouds. There's a little bit of a breeze that shakes the leaves. If we were in a group, it would be a perfect night for a ritual.
But we're not in a group. We don't do rituals much at all. I feel like I don't belong, like I'm outside looking in. Even before discovering Paganism, I've felt like this, but now more than ever.
I wish I knew how to get over this.