Oh, I dont know

[Mainedruid]

This is some thing I have been battling with for some time.

A year and half ago the mother of my children and I split, she cheated its wasnt a pretty situation. I was very very much in love with her, part of me still is. I am now a single father, she has visitation and pays child support, well she is supposed to, but dosnt... but that really dosnt matter, this isnt about that.

I have always wanted only the best for my kids, a full and healthy family life, food on the table, and happy parents.

Lately I have felt truly stuck, stuck with money, family, housing, life in general. I have focused a lof energy into my self. I have worked hard to heal deep wounds, and am doing ok.

My heart aches for love. I am a very tender, careing and loyal man. Most of my emotions are in the extream, I love to the fullest, I forgive, I listen.. I care..

I am feeling a longing for more in my life but dont know where to turn. I dont drink like like I did in my 20's so the bars are out, they are nothing but trouble really any way. I want to love again, badly. I really would like to find my soul mate, if there is such a thing...

its been 20 minutes since I started writing this, my kid woke up from her nap and I lost my train of thought, but you get the gist if it.... sorry

Mike

[MysticWitch]

Well there are ways to look for love. I don't know if you should be looking for someone new when you still care for your ex
wife? Not that its illegal to move on dispite feelings being there, cause thats not a crime. Sometimes men and women will always have a place in their heart for the person they created a family with no matter if they broke up on good terms or bad terms. If you really think you can move on, I would say take your time.. dont actively search for someone. If you see someone in a store or walking by be friendly, sometimes you can create small talk and then maybe go for a coffee or something. Small steps can lead to big things. I am sorry your life didn't turn out the way you wanted it to, and everyone deserves to love again even if they did promise their love to someone else before. :hugz:

[Mainedruid]

:)

[Kahlil the Heretic]

Nothing to be sorry about brother.

It's nice to see another guy here who isn't afraid to say he needs some support. That alone is proof that you're probably really cool and sensitive, and there's a lot of women out there who like that.

Though a lot of people scoff at this suggestion, I'd like you to give it some serious thought... there's no shame in putting up a profile on a dating site. Many think that it is a sign of desperation, when in fact it is simply the new way of doing things. It is simply using technology to meet people that you never could have met in person because we live in such a huge world with so many people. I say you give it a shot buddy...tell me what you think.

And aren't you a druid or something? Why don't you make some kind of love spell?

[Mainedruid]

I'll give your idea a shot, I'm not opposed to any thing...

ahhh spells.... well thats the trick isnt it... I have thought of that, but I think with love the wording should be spot on... be careful what you wish for right ha ha.

I think I may try to come up with some thing that makes me noticed insted of attracting a "mate" that sounds safer to me.

suggestions in this area are welcome.

[MysticWitch]

:heybaby: There is a pagan connections place here at Mystic Wicks, some where. :hehehehe:

[Mainedruid]

funny you should say that... While you were writing here I was reading there :cheers:

[BlueEyedWolf]

:hugz: Keep your head up! Like the other have suggested, take it slow, meet new women at the grocery stores, daycare, schools,etc... you get the idea. Don't rush it, let it happen. Yes, you will most likely always hold a place in your heart for 'babies Mama' that is normal and acceptable. Don't however let it be the only space. Tuck it where it belongs, so that you can grow into another fufilling relationship. Best of luck and wishes.:hugz:


Blue

[Merrilyn]

I think I may try to come up with some thing that makes me noticed insted of attracting a "mate" that sounds safer to me.

suggestions in this area are welcome.

Believe me, you're already quite noticeable. The way you express yourself here, the offers for advice you've both made and sought.. Your overall "tone" and sense of self convey a calm and intrigue that I'm sure others pick up on.
Time..all in time. This time is for you and your children, and time to re-make what you've known of your life so far. The possibilities are endless, my friend.
Keep your mind, eyes and heart open.

[Mainedruid]

Believe me, you're already quite noticeable. The way you express yourself here, the offers for advice you've both made and sought.. Your overall "tone" and sense of self convey a calm and intrigue that I'm sure others pick up on.

That means a lot to me :wave: Thank you

[Cat]

First of all, don't dismiss the idea of collecting child support. You said you are stuck money-wise. That money belongs to your children by right. They need it, even if you provide everything for them now they do need some savings for the future. If the positions were reversed, you'd be labelled a deadbeat dad and your salary garnished.

I'm terrible at figuring our how to meet people. You might go to some Druid or pagan events and just be friendly to everyone. Take some time to talk to other parents at the park. You might even try one of those computer dating services--its worth a shot. You'll find someone.

[Mainedruid]

Child support is a funky subject. She has been ordered to pay and from what I understand the state has attached her wages, how ever I have not seen a check. The money would help, but there is a catch 22 here

She is barely making it too, so.. when the state takes money for me it means she has to go with out at her house... which in turn effects the kids.... I dont want them to go with out in either house, so I have offered to help her in turn with diapers and things of that sort... The way I see it I still get the cash, but I can see it goes to the kids and not the bar.

Thank you Cat for your kind words of advice :D

[Sage Rainsong]

If you are having trouble with child support, you may want to try looking here: http://www.childsupport.com/

Anyway you seem like a really interesting person with a lot to offer Mainedruid. I'm sure that there would be a lot oof women interested in you. You may want to check out http://mind-n-magick.com/ because they have some personal sites and a "pagan penpals." Good luck!

[~Elise~]

First step... know yourself. What is it that you want from a mate? What traits/habits are acceptable? Which ones aren't? Is this new person open to kids in their life that aren't theirs? Do you want more children if the right person came along? Faith--what is acceptable and what isn't?

You sound like someone content with themself, but looking for more...enhancement in your life. Another person can't give you completion, but they can be a compliment to you and your life.

When I was single, I looked within the open pagan community... ugh... But that was here where I was located, though. Having someone who respected my path was important to me...they didn't have to follow it, but at least try to understand it and by no means discount it.

I found my mate-within the community in the state-some one I already knew and respected. while his path wasn't mine...it wasn't totally alien either.

I can recommend the book Be A Goddess (just because you're male, don't discount it) it is actually about self actualization of the practioncer. In there is an awesome love spell--but don't do just that... it won't work correctly. Get the book--read it--more importantly WORK it. but be aware that you will NOT be the same person when you complete it. It take approx. 15 weeks to complete and, IMHO, is well worth it.

I've taught this book for the last 5 years to students of mine... it never fails in its purpose-which is for you to know you better, it works well in the love dept, as well for them. You get what you need at the time and sometimes that isn't a life mate...but sometimes it is.

Elise

ETA: I don't normally answer in threads such as this... but it is precisely because of your posts on this board and your attitudes that I am. Thought that was important to add.

[Mainedruid]

Thanks!! I'll look into the book for sure... always looking for new stuff any way. And as far as the book being for the other half...

well when I first started looking into paganism I found a wicca/witchcraft store, I went there to ask questions... and was bascally told by the lady.... Wicca/witchcraft was not for me because I was MALE.... Thanks lady... but I think I proved you wrong...

Yesterday was a particulary rough day for me I think, I was amazed at the replys to this thread, they really helped a lot. You all gave me that pick me up I needed... Thank you

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!

Mike

[~Elise~]

I've had quite a few males over the last five years take the class--it isn't just for females--regardless of the title. (in fact, I think the title hinders most males from even looking into it)

It helps find and accentuate that spark of the Divine in ALL.

Elise

[LightDancer]

the advice already given is very good, I just want add one thing. Don't jump into anything. Being lonely sucks, I know, but don't jump at the first person that shows an interest. If that person ends up being the wrong person for you it'll be another batch of hurt to work through.

nothing more to add but :hugz:

Jamie