Giving relationship advice to your love.

[innocent]

*headdesk* I just gave relationship advice to a man i'm in love with. I just keep telling myself If I really love him I'll let him go, but everytime I think about him with someone else, especially one who isn't suited for him it just makes me want to curl up in the fetal position under my desk. Part of me is screaming "Your an idiot, just try and fail with him until you can't love him anymore." but I know, I will never stop. So I sit here, day after day, being his best friend and never anything more, giving him advice on relationships, and wondering day after day if it will ever change.

I watch him get tangled up in relationships that will never work but I know in my heart if I step in and save him it wont do him any good because he needs that to learn. It's just like watching a child learn to walk. Part of you knows you have to watch her fall and cry before she can learn to walk but part of you just wants to pick her up and carry her forever. It's just hard.

[Misguided Angel]

This must be very frustrating.

Sometimes though, doing the right thing is the suckiest thing on the planet to do ... your problem ... is point in case.

I hope he wakes up someday and realizes what a great person he has right in front of him.

[Hærfest Leah]

Personally I'd stop giving the advice. It's too much for you to put yourself thru. I've been there, years ago but I had till I wised up and stopped playing back seat to some other chick that's less deserving. I'd either confront him with this issue and tell them your feelings (and see how he responds) & that your going to step back from giving advice or just be nice & friendly but just stop giving advice. He can figure it out for himself and holpefully he realizes that your there.

Don't sit back and do nothing, it gets you nowhere. I wish you the best, take control.

[Wandering_Soul]

Personally I'd stop giving the advice. It's too much for you to put yourself thru. I've been there, years ago but I had till I wised up and stopped playing back seat to some other chick that's less deserving. I'd either confront him with this issue and tell them your feelings (and see how he responds) & that your going to step back from giving advice or just be nice & friendly but just stop giving advice. He can figure it out for himself and holpefully he realizes that your there.

Don't sit back and do nothing, it gets you nowhere. I wish you the best, take control.
Agreed - take control of your own - right now he is using you in a way tha is not healthy - after all what is he really learning that you aren't teaching him? As hard as it might be let him fall and pick himself back up - but don't fall with him. Take control of your own life and don't enable him to keep falling into unhealthy relationships. Sometimes people aren't really looking for/need adivce. But rather using guiding questions to make them come to their own answer is best. I have discovered in my own case and with others, people generally know the answers to their questions and just won't admit them

[magicr666]

Heres a big question, does he know how you feel???? Maybe he does have the same feeling but thinks to himself that you just want to be friends. I know when your friends with someone and you fall for them its hard to tell them. Because you enjoy your friendship and you don't want anything to happen to it. So you keep it to yourself and killing yourself at the same time. Unless you tell him how you feel hes not going to know.