Calculator Sacrifice

[Amelserru_halqu]

Alright some of my friends are having difficulty in calculus so I'm sacrificing a calculator to the calculus gods (who have yet to be named, but will for the sake of my friends) so that they (and me) will do well on the final. Basically I'm looking for ideas. I was figuring a medium length 15-30 minute ritual with lots of chanting, screaming, dancing, running in circles, and such hoping to get enough energy and then at the highest point I intend to sacrifice the calculator (virgin calculator, i.e. never used to calculate anything). So if anyone has anything creative I can steal I would love to hear them.

This the first time I've tried anything like this. Normally I use sigils but since I'm trying to help everyone else I think I need to use a different method, so please lend me your experience and perhaps this will go well. Besides what's the worst that could happen?

[Teresa]

I do not know if you can find anything suiting but you are free to look at:
http://www.luckymojo.com There are some free spells and different things there that you may draw ideas from.
Maybe do a little bit different Ritual. Place the calculator on an altar and burn incense and candles in the appropriate colors like purple for success and dark blue for wisdom and .....Do this on a Wednesday because that is the "God of thought's " day ( Mercurian).[ Wednesday is the proper day of the week to perform spells and rituals involving communication, divination, knowledge, business transactions, writing.]
For incense you could burn cedar, lavendar, rosemary which are the astrological Aromatics for Virgo. Virgo corresponds with : Logic ,Value of analysis, accountability.
You can choose the music you want and write out your own chants and Even dance around if you want to visualizing you and your friends getting a great grade on this test.

When finish leave an offering of your choosing for " The Gods"(Ophiel)[ It could be something as simple as an Orange which corresponds to Virgo or more elaborate. The choice is Yours.]

Just a few ideas to get your thought process working. Maybe even invite your firends to join in.

[Rick]

Hmm... a slide rule might be a better sacrifice to those particular gods... :lol:

[telecino]

Hi, i might just have what you need.

The operating energy in the matters of knowledge and its applications, is driven by one of the seven concepts of creative experiences of the universe. In a specific approach that i called the "Arbatel of Magick", the name that was tagged to this energy/movement/titan/divine influence, is "Ophiel", which is the universal spirit of Mercury/Hod/Knowledge.

You can find the complete Arbatel of Magick in PDF download somewhere here: http://www.nagah.org

Suite yourself. Simply add in your calculator sacrifice aspect. Know that by sacrificing your calculator, you mean to the Divine that you make it a gift to them, letting the universe do what it wants with your calculating abilities: which will innevitably be the drastic expansion of these abilities, that you will not be able to refrain since you gave it to them. The universe will simply flow thru up to the limit of your human resistance.

I did all the 7 spirits ritual from the knowledge of the Arbatel of Magick. The only thing i can say is: Boom!

[Amelserru_halqu]

Ok... I gave everyone time to respond and well... frankly I was hoping for some interesting ideas... like prepare the calculator by bathing it in motor oil or something...

Now let's try this again. Does anyone have anyone have any creative ideas?

BTW I like the slide rule idea, however time prohibits that option for this ritual.

[Jolixte]

Light it on fire. I wanted to do that with the extra calc text book I had, but I lost it. :(

Eta: Wait, are you at Rose-Hulman?

[Amelserru_halqu]

Yes, I am currently attending rose.

[Jolixte]

Yes, I am currently attending rose.

:2G: Do you like it there? Other than the calculus evidently.

[telecino]

Ok, so you want a creative idea with both funny stuff AND true correspondences: here it goes.

Get the ritual images and prayers from here, and alter them as you wish, while keeping the invoked names:
http://www.mysticknight.org/ritual/index.php?talismans=8,5&spirits=7,8&&name=-name-

1- Prepare black and orange candles, if you can, 8 of each. You'll need 1 L of source water, 8 grams of salt, a sterilized needle, a frying pan and an oven, a cooking wooden spoon. Dig a hole outside, 1 foot deep, either in nature, or next to the east wall of where you live. Print the images, 1 copy for each participant. Install the 16 (or whatever) candles everywhere in the kitchen (or wood) around you, in a safe manner. Light everything up.

2- Meditate and relax 5-10 minutes.

3- Focus on the images (printed), one by one, for 1 minute each. Repeat the names under the images softly, invoke their presence.

4- Put the calculator in the frying pan, and pour the salt over it, whlie declaring the full prayers.

5- open the oven to HIGH and slowly add the water while you keep repeating the 2 prayers one after the other. Repeat the prayers until the water starts to boil, or on the edge to.

6- With your right hand, take the needle, and softly punch inside your second phalange of your left pinky finger, just to perk the skin and let a drop of blood out. This is the finger of mercury/knowledge/ophiel. Drop 1 drop of your blood into the boiling water. If you are not alone, you'll need 1 sterilized needle per participant.

7- Put the needles thru the center of all the images and drop that into the pan too. This will link all the energies together. Stir all with a wood cooking spoon. (add a 100 ml of water per extra participant, if any.)

8- When around half of the water vapored up, way before everything burns, put all of this into a bowl or something, and while the remaining stuff is still hot, burry it into the ground in the prepared hole.

9- Go back inside and meditate. Empty your mind, if you can. :hahugh: You probably will have surges of energy rearranging your synapse and neural contacts.

Breathe deeply and softly.

[telecino]

I have to add that this ritual will work for the person operating it. Using another's blood will work half efficiency.

[Amelserru_halqu]

Now we're cooking with gasoline! Unfortunately this doesn't work well with my current style but bits and pieces shall be used. Also I tend not to work with a system I haven't thoroughly studied yet so maybe I'll try this next semester.

More creative/crazy ideas people. Keep 'em coming.

[Jolixte]

Acid? Probably not legal in the molarity that would be needed though...

Run over it with a car? Throw it out a window? Drown it? Hammer?

[Amelserru_halqu]

Yes! Yes!!! YES!!!

[Jolixte]

:P I hope you're not using a graphing calculator.

[Amelserru_halqu]

I'm considering a TI-81 or TI-86. Or buying a scientific calculator from the local walmart.

[Jolixte]

I'm considering a TI-81 or TI-86. Or buying a scientific calculator from the local walmart.

:2G: At least it's not a TI-89... but still, kind of an expensive thing to destroy. (This coming from a girl that threw a laptop out of the window.)

[Amelserru_halqu]

Not really, I can pick up an 81 or or 86 for 20 or 30 bucks. How about I biol with a dash of parsley and put a sprig of poison ivy behind my ear?

[Jolixte]

Not really, I can pick up an 81 or or 86 for 20 or 30 bucks. Really? A virgin one? :lol:
How about I biol with a dash of parsley and put a sprig of poison ivy behind my ear?

:blowcandl itchy.

[Amelserru_halqu]

Well I have a priest uniform so I can revirginfy it just like a real priest do to nuns who aren't real virgins.

[Jolixte]

Well I have a priest uniform so I can revirginfy it just like a real priest do to nuns who aren't real virgins.

:lol: _wedgie_

[Amelserru_halqu]

You can't wedgie me in a priest's uniform, I am forbidden from wearing underwear while performing my priestly duties.

[Amelserru_halqu]

Alright, we've got sacrificial methods now let's work on other things like scenery and random things to chant oh and clothing face paint, etc.

[Dusk]

Some random ideas.

Use graph paper as an altar cloth.

Have the typical mathematical tools on hand (compass, straight edge, that curvy thing you use for graphing whose name I can't remember)

Chant something from the calculus book.

Have a picture of Pythagoras on the altar.

spray a saline solution in the air or on the calculator to represent the tears shed over studying calculus.

Instead of destroying the calculator, donate it to a charity as a symbol of spreading mathematics to the needy.

End the ritual by singing "She Blinded Me With Science"

[Amelserru_halqu]

Yay good ideas, unfortunately it rained so I did a sigil instead, we'll see how well it works tomorrow. Now next quarter you can bet you're sweet ass I'm going to perform it.