So, like, why was I attacked?

[blackroseivy]

This happened on ANOTHER FORUM, please - NOT here! This is not to get anyone in trouble, but just to report on what happened & get some opinions OUTSIDE of that particular forum on what this person said to me. (Since everyone there seems to LOOOVE her!!)

I started the thread, to begin with! - It was supposed to be about the difficulties of getting together with anyone online. Thing is, I had posted before about my troubles meeting anyone, & got an ear(eye?)ful all about how it was all my own fault for "not trying hard enough".

I live in a tiny, tiny place - full of VERY CONSERVATIVE folks!! :( I can't just walk down the street here & meet my soul-mate.

Anyway, I just went back over that I was doing the online thing perfectly happily - & also the thread was NOT supposed to be all about me & how I am a self-pitying fool who ought to go out & mingle, SOMEWHERE... (I cannot afford a car, either.)

I just wanted to share my experiences...

I then said, "Well, next will come along the people who think I should move."

That's where the trouble started...

I explained (again) that I have no car & won't anytime soon, I am quite alone & without help - my mother has a heart condition & I CANNOT expect HER to move me again. I got stuck here because of an illness, NOT out of choice.

At any rate, I am figuring out just what I need to do to move.

That's right, I am actively PLANNING this getaway!

What's more, I had been thinking about going to this town just north of me - it's in NYS - thinking about moving there, because it's at least feasible for me to look at apts. there - there is a bus that at least does go into that town 1 day a week - & I know what it costs for a cab, if I were to have to come home & I couldn't make that bus in 4 hours: $33. Doable, for 1-way, in an emergency.

But that's NYS; I would have to get onto SSI up there, & there is a waiting list.

So it might have to be PA; I will have to see.

All of this is in the considering stages - thinking out how best to go about it.

What upset me was, her leaving a VERY long post (after saying, "I only leave futile suggestions once!") all about, for 1 thing (I didn't read the whole thing, too close to tears by that time from her attitude), how she "managed to move herself" - & here's the MAIN thing: with a family.

See, her whole attitude is one of, "Shut up, you stupid cow, & don't complain - YOU don't even have a FAMILY!!!"

She kept going on & on about how "negative" I was being, & how everything I said was just "an excuse". She really laid it on thick! :( Oh - she said, "It MUST be the depression talking" too - I am NOT depressed at this point, I take my medication & am actually reasonably happy (except I want to leave the place that I am ASAP)!!!

What I want to know is just this: WHY? Why did she take such personal offense at my stating simple facts & statistics about my difficulties in moving? (Again, like right away - I fully plan to be out of this place by about 2009 or so).

She's not being helpful, she's being hurtful.

So ok, the web is FULL of just this sort of nonsense - right-o?? ;)

I have to ask here that if anyone has any "helpful" advice vis-a-vis moving, & "not making excuses", please do kindly refrain.

On the other hand, if you have any idea as to why she reacted this way, please do let me know!!

???

[Scarlettvixen]

hun i have no advice either way but :hugz:


well i do have some advice.. ignore her and continue yr planning

[starfire]

Some people like putting others down. They like putting their own frustrations on others. That is when you simply ignore her, or thank her for her suggestions and ask for more from others who may have had similar situations. She can't be the only one on the forum, so when she gets off track, then simply state, "thank you, and to bring every one back, What I am asking for is... " Restate what you need from the other viewers.

As far as online dating, it is a good thing in that you can meet people. It is very hard to meet people once you are an adult and on your way. You have choices of work, or where you worship or where you play. So if you don't get out much or can't, on line dating can work. Many sites also have catagories for christian, catholic, pagan etc...so you can find someone in something like that. The only thing I would say is select a location close to where you live, talk a while before meeting, and then meet in a public place when you think it is time.

[Kahlil the Heretic]

I know exaaaactly what's going on, but you won't hear it from her...

She's basically saying, "I've suffered more than you, and my situation is worse than your's, so you're not as worthy of asking for help as I am."

What a load of arrogant bull. Her situation is hers and your situation is yours, and you are just as worthy and deserving of both sympathy and help from other people as anyone.
Some people just like to toot their own horns and gloat about how they've made it despite having it rough, and this is exacerbated by the fact that she can get away with doing it over the internet...because it is always easier to insult someone over the internet.

Don't let her downplay your hurt and your situation...you are just as worthy (and more so because you're not a jerk) and deserved a much more sympathetic and respectful response. And no matter how many people make you feel bad on other forums, there will always be twice as many to make you feel good here. Chin up and good luck...

[Zibblsnrt]

She's basically saying, "I've suffered more than you, and my situation is worse than your's, so you're not as worthy of asking for help as I am."

:twitch:

Gods, I can't stand people who turn personal calamity into competition. :P

[blackroseivy]

THANK YOUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

((((((((((((((((((((((hugglez))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I feel LOADS better now!

What always bothers me on THAT forum "which ye wot of" is that everyone seems to take HER side - insofar as at least calling her words "loving advice", etc. etc. & they are sorta saying, "Why are you taking offense? Why are you so upset?"

I think you nailed it on the head, Kalil - she wants to draw the attention to HER difficulties & HER life - & not hear someone else "whining" as she sees it! :( *grump* I'm not inta that. I always say, live & let live! I am a gentle person & I think that opens me to attack, often enough....

Even here, once when I was feeling VERY discouraged, a troll came along & was EXTREMELY nasty. Good thing I wasn't suicidal! Talk about irresponsible behavior, aside from just plain uncalled-for unkindness.

Well, to heck with all that. I am not about to get suicidal over some words said to me by someone who should know better but apparently doesn't. From now on, I post here when I have problems - & don't post in the "Chat" forum of THAT board anymore!!! No more sharing my life with THAT lot...

[Sun Sprite]

Sadly, there are a lot of people full of hate out there.

I have seen a lot of it too. If you look from the outside of their situation (really tough I know), it makes me wonder, do they hate themselves, and that is why they are lashing out?

Still, there is nothing you can do for, or about them. There is no excuse for them to behave as such to you.

As for your personal moving situation, I can really offer no suggestions or help, just wish you the best.

Best Wishes,
Sun Sprite

[Dio]

It's good to see that you're actively working to get yourself out of your situation. It can be one of the most difficult things to overcome all of the odds to get yourself in a better place. I truly do understand that. :)

But I have found that anytime you put yourself out there, you always run the risk for criticism. Always. It doesn't matter what your situation is, there are many people out there who don't care to hear that others have problems. Unfortunately you will always have to accept the fact that not everyone is going to be sympathetic of your situation.

It's best not to aire any grievances to anyone unless you know for a fact that they will give you the comfort you truly wish for. If you speak of your hardships to the world, you will hear all sides and opinions. If this is something you don't want, keep your personal life to yourself. It's as simple as that.

[dragoncrone]

I agree with Dio.
There are people - we all know one or two - who must have past lives in Ancient Sparta. Their attitude toward anyone with a problem is 'suck it up' and some get rather vicious in their blame-the-victim mentality.

In dealing with these people and their comments, your new mantra will be : 'So, like, why should I care?! :yayah:

[Liberty]

This happened on ANOTHER FORUM, please - NOT here! This is not to get anyone in trouble, but just to report on what happened & get some opinions OUTSIDE of that particular forum on what this person said to me. (Since everyone there seems to LOOOVE her!!)

I started the thread, to begin with! - It was supposed to be about the difficulties of getting together with anyone online. Thing is, I had posted before about my troubles meeting anyone, & got an ear(eye?)ful all about how it was all my own fault for "not trying hard enough".

I live in a tiny, tiny place - full of VERY CONSERVATIVE folks!! :( I can't just walk down the street here & meet my soul-mate.

Anyway, I just went back over that I was doing the online thing perfectly happily - & also the thread was NOT supposed to be all about me & how I am a self-pitying fool who ought to go out & mingle, SOMEWHERE... (I cannot afford a car, either.)

I just wanted to share my experiences...

I then said, "Well, next will come along the people who think I should move."

That's where the trouble started...

I explained (again) that I have no car & won't anytime soon, I am quite alone & without help - my mother has a heart condition & I CANNOT expect HER to move me again. I got stuck here because of an illness, NOT out of choice.

At any rate, I am figuring out just what I need to do to move.

That's right, I am actively PLANNING this getaway!

What's more, I had been thinking about going to this town just north of me - it's in NYS - thinking about moving there, because it's at least feasible for me to look at apts. there - there is a bus that at least does go into that town 1 day a week - & I know what it costs for a cab, if I were to have to come home & I couldn't make that bus in 4 hours: $33. Doable, for 1-way, in an emergency.

But that's NYS; I would have to get onto SSI up there, & there is a waiting list.

So it might have to be PA; I will have to see.

All of this is in the considering stages - thinking out how best to go about it.

What upset me was, her leaving a VERY long post (after saying, "I only leave futile suggestions once!") all about, for 1 thing (I didn't read the whole thing, too close to tears by that time from her attitude), how she "managed to move herself" - & here's the MAIN thing: with a family.

See, her whole attitude is one of, "Shut up, you stupid cow, & don't complain - YOU don't even have a FAMILY!!!"

She kept going on & on about how "negative" I was being, & how everything I said was just "an excuse". She really laid it on thick! :( Oh - she said, "It MUST be the depression talking" too - I am NOT depressed at this point, I take my medication & am actually reasonably happy (except I want to leave the place that I am ASAP)!!!

What I want to know is just this: WHY? Why did she take such personal offense at my stating simple facts & statistics about my difficulties in moving? (Again, like right away - I fully plan to be out of this place by about 2009 or so).

She's not being helpful, she's being hurtful.

So ok, the web is FULL of just this sort of nonsense - right-o?? ;)

I have to ask here that if anyone has any "helpful" advice vis-a-vis moving, & "not making excuses", please do kindly refrain.

On the other hand, if you have any idea as to why she reacted this way, please do let me know!!

???

*hugs*
Sorry you had to put up with all that nonsense.
I know how you feel, I use to be in that situation and the internet was my outlet. All of my friends thought I was a little crazy for wanting to meet people online, this was all before it was "the norm" or more acceptable. (Of course the myspace thing isn't helping)

Well, I don't know if this will help and I'm not sure how old you are but if you're an adult it should be managable. If you have a job or any sort of income at the moment that's always good.
Keep planning your get away.

You obviously have access to the internet so my suggestion is to find a place close by or far which ever you prefer, somewhere you'd like to live. Do you're research on the area, find the employment guide for that city/town, look for a job, once you've got that close to lined up, don't forget to look for a place to live. You can find apartment guides and listing online too, especially if it's a fairly big city. Once you've got a good 5-10 places for jobs and places to live, don't forget to call them up and talk to them. See what you're chances are of getting what you need and tell them your situation, sometimes people understand and will work with you.
After that is all set, buy a bus ticket to whereever you wanna live. Depending on how far you're planning to move, it's probably easier to just take a bus instead of a cab.
Starting a new life is easier, especially for your situation if you don't take so much with you (like furniture and stuff). Take what you need, the essentials, what you can pack up and sell the rest (garage sell or something). If you want to take everything, you can always just rent a U-haul, that pretty much takes care of the transportation part too.

I think that's about it...hope that helps. :)
Good luck.
The key is to plan plan plan.

Like you said in case of an emergency and you can't take the bus, you'll have to take a cab. Well, don't worry about that right now, take things as they come. If that ever happens and you really need to take a cab, take one, I'm sure it won't happen to often, plus if you have a job (which is a good idea), you can always make more money. What I'd do in case of a situation like that, put away a little bit of money from my paycheck each pay period just in case. That way, when that happens you'll always have money for cab fare when needed.

Okay...now, I think I've covered everything.

[blackroseivy]

Hmmm... Pretty thorough...

I didn't happen to mention (here) that I live on SSI, which is $633 a month. It will go up a little after the New Year - hopefully to as much as $645.

A little hard to save on.

I am doing little things here & there - like for instance, attempting to pay back about $3700 in debt... That alone will take upward of 3 years.

My own fault, of course - but I can't save when I have to pay over $100 a month for that! My rent is $110 (I'm on HUD); my phone is usually between $25-$45; I have LIHEAP which takes care of my energy (until it runs out, which it might come next Sept.- Oct. - as it did this year); I pay $115-120 a month on the CC; cable (I will NOT go without it!!) is $65; food I have to kick in an indefinite amount a month, I get $100-worth of food-stamps.

That's my budget.

Right now, Xmas-time is here & that means I spend extra money... Come January, I am going to open up a savings account, & put a little drib here & a little drab there in every month.

That's about as far as I have gotten.

That, & the fact that I need to stay in PA, I think - there is a waiting list to get on SSI out-of-state.

But I'm plottin', I'm plannin'...

[Merrilyn]

Hun, my Mom lives on SSI as well; she's been disabled for some years now, and I am amazed at how she is expected to make ends meet and LIVE off of the measly income she gets. Jus this month she got notice that she has lost her med benefits for whatever reason, so we're trying to work through that.
Anyway, I guess I'm trying to say I hear ya, and I commend you for doing what ya do, trying to do the good thing, and don't listen to any hard-hearted BS! You're talented, beautiful and fun...never accept anything less than what you really want, and never let anyone bring you down.
Thinkin bout ya! take care. :hugz:

[blackroseivy]

I kept having a FEELING you'd drop by!! :D That is SO sweet - & let your mom know that she is in my thoughts, & I hope things work out!

[Liberty]

Ooooh, I just realized what SSI stood for, sorry...I haven't slept in a few days, my brain isn't registering everything.

So you can't work at all? geeze...hm...I'd say start a home business or something but since I have no experience in that field I'd rather not offer advice for that.
Hm...well the good thing with advances in technology is that there are home based jobs, you just gotta look really hard. Some companies will hire people to do data entry work or phone related work from home.
It's not one of those get rich schemes, I know it exist, I covered it in class a few months ago.

Maybe try looking for housing plans too, I'm sure the government has to offer something for the disabled.

If you have to stay in PA, I'd suggest looking into living in the city if you haven't already, whether you like the city atmosphere or not, it does offer great public transportation and more opprotunities. You gotta give a little to gain what you want, at least for the moment.

[blackroseivy]

I'm in HUD housing here.

I am working for Kasamba.

I am going to study (online) to get my MA.

(Geez - the things I leave out!!)

There is a guy who is offering me a (VERY non-HUD) apt. in Pittsburgh - but he says that I could work for Dish, which would probably be easy - IF, that is, they actually would hire me! You see, I haven't worked in so long that I'm not very viable to an employer. Well, I can put in that I work for Kasamba, & that I have worked at the Sayre library. (It is volunteer, but they needn't know that - & I know for a fact that my boss & his boss, the head librarian, would NOT bring that up in a phone-call to the former employer.) I just need to get cracking & do some real WORK there, which I haven't in a while - I'm just starting to go back.

Anyhoo...

As to that person on the forum "which ye wot of":

She is at it again.

She sent me quite a nasty pm accusing me of "slagging her off" to others on the forum, including the mods; actually, all I was doing was defending myself. A couple of people came forward in support of me; one of them pm'd me & was talking about how mania was being discussed as something POSITIVE. Well. Needless to say, I missed that. I stopped reading, & am NOT going back to see her latest post - which I happened to have seen that she left today.

She just downright don't like me - & I have 0 idea what I did to deserve it! Except... She is somewhat artistic. I have a B.F.A. & am VERY talented (ok, I'm tooting my own horn here). She was kinda nasty when I left up posts of my work not too long ago; & I've had runins with her before.

I went to a mod, because she had told me to if she did this (send me a nasty, that is). I told her that I am considering quitting the forum, EXCEPT that I had only JUST paid for my full year's subscription. But that woman is going to effectively keep me out of the member areas. She is always in there, & I don't care to have her come along & throw her garbage my way anymore.

Ok, that's it for now, I hope this episode can be dropped - no-one by this time more than me, BE-LIEEEEVE me... :(

[BlackMagicalCat]

Your search is over,Im available,all I ask is that you love me,and dont cheat on me,and be truthfull to me.

And I will give you the same,and love you forever.

[blackroseivy]

I hardly know how to respond to this...! :p hehe

Perhaps we'd better take it into pm? (That is, unless, of course, you are only kidding... :p )

[CzechWoods]

danubhe. some people simply dont have alife. some people have had it way too easy all of the time and now are judging others from their comfy seats. but know that karma exists and they too will learn to see your perspective and feel the pain you are in
sometimes stuff doesnt work out aws we would wish to and sometimes we understand it only years later, why.

hang in there. dont let yourself be gotten down by people who dont want to support you or worse. stick to those who are helping, and be it by :hugz:

:hugz: before i forget to hugle you

its alos possible the lady that got off at you does know life and is just fed up with people whining about problems instead of seeking solutions. i know (as you explained) that its not your case, but sometimes, after having met 10000 whiners, you simply make jusgements too quickly. you will realize that orr not, but the demage is done.

either way, abd regardless. i am with scraletvixen on this one. you keep making your plans, vizualize and so on

you will find out how to work it out.

[blackroseivy]

Once again, THANX for making my day, Czechwoods & everyone!!! :D (& I get all THIS for FREE here...!)

[SSanf]

It's good to see that you're actively working to get yourself out of your situation. It can be one of the most difficult things to overcome all of the odds to get yourself in a better place. I truly do understand that. :)

But I have found that anytime you put yourself out there, you always run the risk for criticism. Always. It doesn't matter what your situation is, there are many people out there who don't care to hear that others have problems. Unfortunately you will always have to accept the fact that not everyone is going to be sympathetic of your situation.

It's best not to aire any grievances to anyone unless you know for a fact that they will give you the comfort you truly wish for. If you speak of your hardships to the world, you will hear all sides and opinions. If this is something you don't want, keep your personal life to yourself. It's as simple as that.

I agree with this. But it is also a lot about how you present the problem or question. Did you give enough information up front for them to make a reasoned response relevant to your situation or did they have to dig it out of you by bits and pieces?

The responses will based on the information that you have made available. Never assume readers are familiar with the on going saga of your life just because you have posted it sometime else in another thread. If it is an active forum, no one reads all the threads.

So, when you ask for advice, be concise with your synopsis but tell enough detail so that you can get reasonably well targeted responses. I think that people often take offense at answers because they assume that the poster has prior information, that they do not have.

Also, be aware that other posters may have actually talked with you, before, but not remember the conversation was with you because they have not tied the user name to the conversation in their mind. In real life, we may forget a name but, at least, we have a face to give us a clue. Here we don't. That is another reason that you need to give relevant information along with the question to get good answers.

I have noticed, that the simple assumption, that everyone already knows all about you, leads to many of these kinds of hurt feelings.

Please understand, that I do not know about this situation in particular, but this is some general observtions of what I have seen, when conversations go that way.

But, basically, I think Dio hit the nail on the head. I can't say it any better than that.

[Liberty]

Well, sounds like you're on the right tract and have things on their way. :) Just keep at it and it'll happen.

As for the girl, ignore her, she's probably hating on you because she's jealous or threaten by you.
I've known a few people like that, people who belittle others to make themselves feel better, making it seem as if their problem or situation is more important than other peoples.
That's what I call self-absorbed.

[blackroseivy]

OH, I did post a lot about my life. You see, though, it was mainly - in fact, pretty much ALL - this 1 woman who was coming back to the same old subject she had gone on about before. So, no - I don't think it was that, she already knew that

a) I live on $633 a month
b) I have no car
c) the community I live in is very unfriendly.

What got me upset was NOT the advice - which I am getting here, as you can see. It was her tone of knowing better than I do about my own life, & more than that, the overall aggression & negativity in it.

She wrote me this pm - yeah, I mentioned that. She got even worse... :(

All I was trying to do was defend myself.

As to "airing grievances", well...

I'll be keeping it to myself from now on - I'm not posting in that forum anymore, even though I'm a paid subscriber.

& the thing was, I wasn't even "airing grievances" as such, as the intent of the thread. I was trying to get a conversation going about what it's like to use the internet to meet people. NOT negative at all - until she launched into me! :(

Hope that clarifies things.

I'm just avoiding anyplace SHE is likely to be from now on.

[blackroseivy]

Well, sounds like you're on the right tract and have things on their way. :) Just keep at it and it'll happen.

As for the girl, ignore her, she's probably hating on you because she's jealous or threaten by you.
I've known a few people like that, people who belittle others to make themselves feel better, making it seem as if their problem or situation is more important than other peoples.
That's what I call self-absorbed.

Oh, yeah - that too! ;)

Funnily enough, the 1st thing she said in that PM was, "I was not trying to make my problems seem more important than yours" - or words to that effect. I hadn't ever said anything about that, actually, to her at all - so where did it come from?? ;)

[SSanf]

a) I live on $633 a month
b) I have no car
c) the community I live in is very unfriendly.Here is a bit of unsolicited insight. Most of the insight part about the interaction between people, who have money and those who don't, originated with my mother and she was one smart old lady!

You will find most communities unfriendly, when you live on $633 a month with no car.

People do not want to get close to others in such circumstances because they sub-consciously fear that the person will latch onto them and use them as a resource to get what they need such as rides to the store, loans and other such favors. They see you as a potential drain to their own time and resources.

Remember, that no one wants to always be around another who can only afford the nickel coke while the rest are sitting there enjoying dime cokes. It is embarrassing. Nor, do they want to feel that they need to buy the dime coke for you. Further, it is hard to sit and make plans with friends to go somewhere and do something, when one friend must always decline due to limited income. So, they avoid dealing with people where there is a great difference in income.

This is not meanness or unfriendliness on their part. It is only staying in situations, where they find the greatest comfort level for themselves. And, this will probably be the same no matter where you go.

What is the solution? Wherever you are, you need to hook up with other people with situations somewhat close to your own. Those are your potential friends. Together, you can all do better.

Think of "The Golden Girls". Such a shared living arrangement could solve a whole lot of problems for you. Blanch could not keep her house without renting rooms. None of the others could afford such a nice home on their own. But, by cooperation, they all did well and could live in dignity.

Further, they all had built in company and through each other they had the means and economic resources to meet and socialize with others outside the group.

If you can find like minded people to share with, you might be happier. If you can cut down your housing costs by sharing, you may be able to afford a cab ride, occasionaly. And, you could get the dime coke from time to time. That would make you much more accepted.

But, such an arrangement requires a whole lot of give. People must keep to their own space a lot. It requires great tact and people skills. It requires tidyness and thoughtfullness. So, it is work to make it a viable situation. For those who can do it, it is often a very good answer.

[blackroseivy]

I've already done the roommate thing, & honestly, I find that at my age, I just CAN'T do it anymore - I need my own space.

Thank you for the suggestion, though!

Another thing: (sorry, I just had to come back about this)

Another thing she went on about - according to people, including my sister the lawyer, who DID read her nasty post (I didn't read all of it, how could I??) was how it is somehow DESIREABLE to be bi-polar. As opposed to uni, I take it. Well, now! How would she like to be hounded to death (almost literally) by voices? Unable to respond to the world around her? & on top of that, have all the fun of depression as well?

I couldn't BELIEVE that load when I found out about it.

Ok, about the moving thing:

I am working on it. Honestly! But I need my own space.

I am considering taking a job in Pittsburgh to be a) working again, & b) able to afford an apt. there. Someone I met online has said that he owns property & that he could rent to me for $485 a month, which is about $100 too much for comfort on my current income; but he says that there are jobs at the Dish network. No reason I couldn't do that - IF they would hire me.

Here's what I plan to do:

I volunteer at the library. I do a LOT for them. I am friends with the guy in charge of me, & with the sweetest girl in the world who is the boss. If it came down to it, perhaps they wouldn't exactly LIE for me, BUT they could easily let the assumption be that this work has been for pay.

On top of which, I work Kasamba - which is online, & not unlike phone-work.

I probably couldn't tell Dish that I read Tarot cards, but I can just scudge & say I'm an art expert. (My degree is in fine art.)

Did I mention, I am going to soon be studying for my M.A. online? I plan to teach.

So you see, I'm not just sitting here, feeling sorry for myself etc. I do have tentative plans.

Oh, & about my community:

My social-worker the native said to me, "People aren't friendly around here." He meant mainly in bars; but I found that he was right in a general way, really. DC wasn't overly friendly, but that was mainly my own fault for not having gotten out more - but I was in a downward spiral into that enviable mania & couldn't think straight anyway...

I do have some friends here; my best friend, though, passed away exactly 2 years ago today. I still talk to her, though...

I DO have community, don't worry! It's more, no guys, you know?

The computer seems to be yielding results a-plenty, however; I'm interested in the guy who says he can get me an apt. Well, that might be a conflict of interest, but who knows what might happen between now & then, anyway?

[SSanf]

Well, you, actually, sound like you have it well thought out.

[blackroseivy]

:D

I am trying.

Main thing being, I have to get my debt paid back 1st - it's about $3800, which is Mt. Everest to me... But, I have a painting I did, which my sister (who has just become a lawyer) says that she wants to buy from me. My price is $5,000 - which is more than half what I live on a year. But it will pay back my debt.

Once I'm free of that, I will be able to think more clearly about what to do.

[blackroseivy]

Ok, a hedz-up:

She has apparently read this (she is still hounding me with pm's over in that other forum). Ok, so JIC she takes it into her head to join THIS discussion, too, I am outta heah.

THANK YOU, everyone, for your support & insights!! :D (I truly mean that!)