Please...help

[*Adia*]

There's a bit of a story here, but I"ll get to my point, promise.

When I was 7 years old, my best friend Ali moved from here to Ottawa. We've kept in touch and things were alright. Summer of grade 8, she was diagnosed with bone cancer in her knee. She had surgery and they removed the cancer, but it had already spread. She then lost 1-3 of her right lung, and had numerous tubes put in her chest for rapid chemotherapy when it was needed. The docs figured that the cancer was stopped in time, but a few months later another tumor was found around the base of her spine, this one being inopperable. She endured months of pain, not being able to sit or stand or lie down comfortably because of the tumor.
Last time we talked was in February, about March break. She was supposed to come down with her family for her brothers hockey games, but were unable because #1 her brother's team didn't make it to the finals, and #2 because she was sick. But she wouldn't tell me any more because she didn't want me to worry.

So that's the last I heard from her. Tonight, I got home from school and I was in the best mood...(report cards came home today :D) when i got home, my sis sat me down and said she had something bad to tell me. Ali died last night. Aparently her aunt left a message on our phone, saying that she had passed away, and that Cathy and Pedro (parents) Weren't able to tell us themselves. I feel so weird. the last time I actually saw her was..5-6 years ago. we've talked, but that's it. maybe the yearly phone call, but mostly through email and on messengers. I feel horrible. I know I should be sad, and trust me, i'm incredible upset...but I haven't seen her in ages. She was 16....and she died. She was in som uch pain...and now she's gone. I can't stop thinking about it. I can't stop crying...the pain that i'm dealing with right now is horrible. I can't stop thinking about what she was like during her last minutes.
was she in pain...i wish i could have been there.
i miss her already. i want to be able to know she can hear my thoughts...and knows I love her. I wasn't able to tell her that before she died..and now i'll never get to tell her again. never get to say hi, never hear her laugh..or anything. i want her back..... :(
i feel terrible...and i don't know what to do about it..
please help me...i need something i don't know. urgh....:wah2:
Adia

[Danustouch]

I'm so sorry for your loss, Adia. If it is any help to you, I would say she DID know how much you cared for her, that is why she didn't want you to worry. And I think that the fact that you hadn't seen her in a few years, does not change the depths of your feelings for eachother. True friendship is like that. You can go years without seeing eachother, or even talking. But the bond you shared remains. And I'm sure she knew you cared. And I know that if she were here, she'd want you to be happy. She's beyond all pain now...I hope you can take comfort in that. If you need to talk to one of the peer counselors, our contact info is at the top of the page. My AIM account has been acting funky lately, so I can't promise to receive an IM from you. But I'm thinking of you, and will light a candle, for you, your friend, and her family.

Take care, hon. Hugs to you!

[WandererInGray]

*gentle hugs for Adia*

Just grieve for her, Hon. It's totally natural and completely understandable. It doesn't matter when the last time you saw her was, or that you'd only talked to her a couple of times in the past year. You cared for her, so you'll be sad that she's gone.

*hugs*
Grief strikes us all, even if we're prepared, even if we've lost touch.

[Laiste]

Adia, take comfort in that your friend is no longer in pain. It is really a wonderful thing that you continued to stay in touch for that many years!! That is a true friendship! Your friend knew how much you cared for her. She can hear you now...talk to her all you want and tell her everything you would have if you had seen her before she passed. It is very difficult to get through the loss of a loved one, but with support you will get through it! {{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}} Like Danustouch said the peer counselors are there if you need to talk. The offer also stands for me too...you can reach me on AIM or Yahoo. I will light a candle for you and your friend and her family. May the Goddess comfort all of you in your time of sorrow!

[MagickHLHgurl]

Im so sorry...the bst advice i can give is something my grandfather told me "If you have to cry just do it....Let it all out...or it'l hurt more later"
Take it easy and allow yourself time to grieve
my thouhts re wit you

[Lavender]

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend, Adia. Like everyone else, I truly believe that she can hear you & know how you feel about her. It's normal to grieve for your friend. Later, you might want to think about a ritual to say good bye to her. It might help ease the hurt a bit.

hugs!

[Flaire-FireStar]

((((((((((((((((((((((((Adia)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

:( I'm sorry to hear your friend passed on.... The best advice I can give is to cry if you have to..Just let it all out. And if you need to talk, we're always here for you, 24/7.