a reading for Fey

[Topazz]

Fey said:


Well, I've been putting off asking, because I don't want to impose, and I can't reciprocate, but if anyone needs a guinea pig, I'll be happy to comply.

I've been having a hard time dealing with an extemely immature, irresponsible ex (hasn't paid a dime of cs, constantly calling the house or my cell, emotionally abusive to my kids, ect). I consider myself a strong person, who can usually handle stuff like this, but I can feel myself just getting worn down by the constant negative energy he gives off. Any help?


The first rune is for the physical lesson ~ Messages. This tells me that is there is something that you need to do about your situation, and that you know what it is

The second rune is for the emotional lesson ~ Partnership. This tells me that you aren't so much worn down by the conflict with your ex, but because you've been forgetting to love yourself. The more you love and accept yourself, the more you can accept others and deal with what they really are instead of what you wish they were.

The third rune is for the spiritual lesson ~ Destiny. This rune represents the unknown and the unknowable; the lessons that you learn through the choices you make, or have made. You need to look at the choices you have made in the past concerning this man, and the choices you continue to make before you can affect your destiny for the better.

The forth rune is for wisdom and guidance ~ Deserving. It seems clear that what is happening now is what you believe you deserve. To have more, you must look at your beliefs about money, possessions, relationships, and happiness.

The way to move forward here is to claim the power that you have to create the life of your choosing. Joy will be your reward for following your Spirit.

[fey]

Thank you so much Topazz. There is definitely a lot to ponder there. I understood much of what you said, but will have to think and meditate on it to really get it to sink in. I realize that it comes down to me as to how much I let this man affect my life, but it just gets hard when you are constantly bombarded with it everyday. Thank you again! :)

[Topazz]

Oh, believe me, I know how hard it is to deal with an immature ex, and sharing childen (or grandchildren) makes it impossible to make a clean break. You may need to use a go-between to turn the kids over for his custody days, or to handle any business matters. But you definiately sound like you need some distance between you, and it sounds like the kids might benefit from a break as well. I'd say you need to get in touch with someone who can help you collect the child support. Even if that means dragging his sorry ass into small claims court.

So, those are the physical things you can do. Have you tried putting up a shield around you and the children? Heck, the whole house, after cleansing it of all his negative manipulative controlling vibes. Then set up an energy shield that reflects everything he sends your way; whether it's hateful thoughts or annoying phone calls, whatever; it will be refelcted back at him and he can deal with the crud he's been dishing out.

Sending warm hugs and power-energy to you,
Topazz

[Phoenix Blue]

IANAL, however, I can offer some suggestions:

Call the attorney general's office and for his state of residence, as well as the court where the decree was issued. If he's violating the divorce decree, the court can hold him in contempt--after which you can have the child support garnished from his paycheck and tax returns and can even force him to back-pay the months he's missed.

[Topazz]

* evil krone chuckle *

Good thing I understand that shorthand, Feathers, or I'd think you were calling yourself anal, instead of saying I Am Not A Lawyer.

Yep, it's definately nappie time for me.

[fey]

well, he's supposed to be paying thru the courts, and actually, they arrested him about a month ago and he spent a couple of weeks in jail. They told him that he had to pay $150 extra a month (starting 3-1) to pay back the $5000 he owes and if he was 30 days late, he'd go to jail again. Of course, he hasn't paid yet. Tried to get me to take half yesterday, but I told him the only way I'll accept anything is thru the courts. Of course he went off on a rant then. I throw up a circle of protection around my house each night, but I haven't done an energy shield yet. That, I'll definitely do. Thank y'all so much!! :)

[Phoenix Blue]

Also, consider a no-contact order against him, and enforcing it. This is an especially good idea if he has no visitation or limited visitation to begin with.

Topazz, dear. . . **grins** of course I'm anal. I'm an anal, posessive, jealous, and overbearing bully. :nyah:

[fey]

Well, it's stated in the divorce agreement that he gets them every other week-end, although my son (14) chooses not to go a lot of times because he treats him like crap. :(

[Topazz]

Oh P.B. :rotfl: I guess you would know that better than I.


That sounds positively archaic, Fey. In Kansas the bums have to pay through the courts so the courts can keep track of whether they are fulfilliing their court-ordered obligations.

Is your ex maybe not paying because your son doesn't want to stay with him on weekends? Hel, the kid's fourteen and should be allowed to make his own choices. Your ex is still responsible for supporting his kids, IMO.

[fey]

No, basically he's not paying child support because he has to pay through the courts and he doesn't like that. He doesn't like to be told what to do. Ha! Oh well........he's got a review coming up in May, and they'll see that he hasn't paid anything still. Hopefully, they'll do more than slap his wrist this time. I don't think that my son not going over there has anything to do with him not paying. It's all just a matter of control, really.

[Topazz]

Uh huh. Well, if you try a mirror-shield that should reflect all that controlling gunk back at him.
Might even work out that he binds himself. :wink:

[Topazz]

Oh - and please, let me know how things are going with you in the next week or so, ok?

[fey]

Thank you Topazz. :) I've been adding a "mirror" to my circle each night, so we'll see how that goes. I did find out yesterday that he got fired from his job 2 weeks ago for lying to his boss. Hmmm, seems the repercussions are starting to come back around. (of course, that means that there will definitely be no cs now, but hey, we've done without it for this long, lol)

[Nina]

...love and hugs to you at this time. I lived with a man who refused to send child support to his ex, even after the courts ordered him to. In four years, the courts didn't do anything. Mind you, the only one with any income was me. So anyway, he's long gone now, and I'm sure he won't be paying any child support now either. Some men should be forcibly sterilised *wields carving knife menacingly*

[Topazz]

Ahem ~ let's remember we're ladies here, eh?

* reaches into apron pocket for whetstone *

Make sure that sucker is really sharp.
That way it shouldn't hurt ~ much. :lol:

[fey]

:rotfl: