Lightning Pounce
December 1st, 2006, 07:03 PM
Nearly anyone who already knows me here knows I'm a cougar-were, yadda yadda... Well, recently very hurtful events have brought me to a better understanding of myself, and it shows things are not quite the way I had first believed.
If anyone is interested in knowing, at least. This is partly the reason why I've been gone for so long... Something changed drastically inside me. Something very powerful, and very important. =\
It all started with two friends I had shared an awesome relationship for multiple years. They have nearly all at the same time been...exiled by me from my life, and nearly simultaneously. I did this mainly because I was shocked by their treacherousness...and their ability to use a person coldheartedly, along with other things as well. I have been under terrible emotional turmoil because of this. Then a third friend I have also known for years unexpectedly got very...uppity on the phone when I wasn't quite 'me'. I completely blasted her out of the water, and she vowed to never talk with me again. To this I laughed and harassed her, leaving the conversation afterward.
This is not the 'me' I am used to...EVER.
For months I had been feeling totally helpless, and despaired over my ill fortune with my two other former friends, but somehow they drew to an end. Anger in my heart set-in and somehow opened a gateway into my mind for a being that I have been affected by ever since I was 16, but have only recently recognized as a separate entity. He clothed me in a kind of emotional 'armor' that left me defiant, prideful, in good morale, and excited about life, but for a price. He also makes me very vengeful and hateful on a very deep level. In a way, he has protected my mind from despair and worse for quite some time.
He...he talks to me. He also can talk through me. I can tell when he's near, and when he's far away... He can change my way of thinking, and to at least one of my friends capable of seeing spirits, he has used me to scare him with things I said and the way I was made to act.
He is nature...the pure primal nature of a predator. Rage, confidence, defiance, hatred, fight, fiery spirit, survival... I have been hard-searching for a name, and it came in a broken form... "Inumin-- or Inumer-- something". I KNEW what it was, but I couldn't find exactly how it was ended until this morning.
To the best of my knowledge, and limited human mental-capacity, his name is Inuminaro.
He about three nights back superimposed his form on my physical form and allowed me to feel as he felt. He is predominately feline with gray and tan fur...and an amazing red mane trailing all the way down his back from his head to his toes. He has MASSIVELY muscled wings behind his truly powerful shoulders, and I have a feeling they are feathered, but there might be other features like claws on the ends or the like. It was hard to figure out because the experience was just so...unusual. He also has longish ears like a rabbit, but they are more sturdy and more triangular-oval. I have really no idea what he is. Nor what his name means.
Can someone come tell me that I'm just crazy or tell me whatever comes to mind at any rate?
If anyone is interested in knowing, at least. This is partly the reason why I've been gone for so long... Something changed drastically inside me. Something very powerful, and very important. =\
It all started with two friends I had shared an awesome relationship for multiple years. They have nearly all at the same time been...exiled by me from my life, and nearly simultaneously. I did this mainly because I was shocked by their treacherousness...and their ability to use a person coldheartedly, along with other things as well. I have been under terrible emotional turmoil because of this. Then a third friend I have also known for years unexpectedly got very...uppity on the phone when I wasn't quite 'me'. I completely blasted her out of the water, and she vowed to never talk with me again. To this I laughed and harassed her, leaving the conversation afterward.
This is not the 'me' I am used to...EVER.
For months I had been feeling totally helpless, and despaired over my ill fortune with my two other former friends, but somehow they drew to an end. Anger in my heart set-in and somehow opened a gateway into my mind for a being that I have been affected by ever since I was 16, but have only recently recognized as a separate entity. He clothed me in a kind of emotional 'armor' that left me defiant, prideful, in good morale, and excited about life, but for a price. He also makes me very vengeful and hateful on a very deep level. In a way, he has protected my mind from despair and worse for quite some time.
He...he talks to me. He also can talk through me. I can tell when he's near, and when he's far away... He can change my way of thinking, and to at least one of my friends capable of seeing spirits, he has used me to scare him with things I said and the way I was made to act.
He is nature...the pure primal nature of a predator. Rage, confidence, defiance, hatred, fight, fiery spirit, survival... I have been hard-searching for a name, and it came in a broken form... "Inumin-- or Inumer-- something". I KNEW what it was, but I couldn't find exactly how it was ended until this morning.
To the best of my knowledge, and limited human mental-capacity, his name is Inuminaro.
He about three nights back superimposed his form on my physical form and allowed me to feel as he felt. He is predominately feline with gray and tan fur...and an amazing red mane trailing all the way down his back from his head to his toes. He has MASSIVELY muscled wings behind his truly powerful shoulders, and I have a feeling they are feathered, but there might be other features like claws on the ends or the like. It was hard to figure out because the experience was just so...unusual. He also has longish ears like a rabbit, but they are more sturdy and more triangular-oval. I have really no idea what he is. Nor what his name means.
Can someone come tell me that I'm just crazy or tell me whatever comes to mind at any rate?