View Full Version : MIL- Friend or Foe?

December 4th, 2006, 08:40 PM
So, does anyone here have a good relationship with their mother-in-law? My husband and I just had dinner with his mom for his birthday, and it got me thinking. We definitely don't see eye to eye, but she's civil to me to my face (she's more the talking behind one's back type). She's a lot better than my own mother, but that's a very low bar.
I wish I could have a better relationship with her, because it would be nice to have a mom-type person in my life. But her son more than makes up for it. _inlove_

So, who's got a good one, who's got a bad one, and who's currently in jail for killing theirs? Let's dish.

December 4th, 2006, 08:45 PM
I get along really well with my mother-in-law. I think I totally lucked out somehow! :lol:

She's really down to earth and easy to talk to, definately the kind of person who puts me at ease, and she's not one of those who sticks their nose into my and my husband's business constantly or judges everything I do (yeah, I've heard horror stories about other mil's lol) so I'd consider her a friend. :)

December 4th, 2006, 08:52 PM
Mine is nice but it's taken awhile to get used to her. She is very talkative, and very Catholic, although she doesn't say much about it. Luckily (?!) my boyfriend is pretty stubborn and independent so I think she's learned not to push opinions on him. There was a time a few months ago where she told him she was afraid I hated her and was going to go keep the baby away from her, but that's cleared up now.

December 4th, 2006, 09:08 PM
Well she's not exactly my MIL she's my ex-fiance's mother. He and I are still VERY close though...

She and I get along great, I'm like the daughter she never got and she's like my Mum closer to home. :) It's nice. She's really loving and open-minded though. And I understand her frustrations so I manage to avoid the hostility on the rare occassion it does arise. :)

Sorry for all of you who have nasty MILs.

December 4th, 2006, 09:24 PM
My MIL and I really do get along well. It's a shame we live on opposite sides of the Atlantic. But then again, it's also a blessing, because it keeps my FIL and I from being in too close proximity. Although he is a nice man, and very decent, we rub each other the wrong way, if left in each other's presence for too long. I think he's too chauvinistic, and he thinks I'm too outspoken and opinionated.

LOL -- truth be told, it's probably a bit of both.

December 4th, 2006, 11:01 PM
I love my mil as if she were my mother. She's been wonderful to me from the start. On my birthday this year she told me I'm not her dil, I'm her daughter. That meant so very much to me. She shares her families recipes with me, gives me advice only when I ask for it, what more could a girl want??

December 4th, 2006, 11:10 PM
I made a thread about this a while ago. She's not quite my MIL yet, but she will be someday. She drives me a little nuts- very strong personality, very stubborn and has the mama-knows-best complex big time. She's said a few things to her son about me not pulling my weight in the relationship cause I'm not working while attending university. That really bugged me. But we do get along pretty well, and I know she's only got the best of intentions.
So I answered that we have an OK relationship.

December 4th, 2006, 11:44 PM
At first mine was rather anti-Tanya and so I was rather anti-Marion, but as time has progressed and I haven't been nuts, we've discovered interests in common, and I know what she like enough to please her, and she seems to be OK with me.

December 5th, 2006, 03:27 AM
My MIL is a very sweet lady, we get along fine :)

December 6th, 2006, 06:11 AM
My MIL is a horror.

We don't speak to each other anymore. She decided to tell DH that OBVIOUSLY "Your Wife" wasn't giving him his phone messages, even though he knew, and he called her out on it, that she was lying through her teeth, and wasn't bothering to call.

We live fifteen miles away from her, and before we cut her off, we saw her maybe twice a year. And that's a big maybe. Now, she is cut off, because she finally let her claws come out to DH, and I'm sure she's pissing and moaning to anyone and everyone that I am Teh Ebil, and that I'm controlling him with my magic vagina.


My parents live nearly three thousand miles away, and we talk to them quite often, look forward to visiting them, and everyone is sorry when either we have to go home, or they have to go home.

Eventually, we will move closer to my parents. That way, the parents who actually care about us will be close to us, and we don't have to deal with my heinous MIL, who will adamantly refuse to make long distance phone calls to b!tch DH out for not putting me in my place, and making me go along with whatever bullpuckey demands she has this week.

December 6th, 2006, 09:24 AM
Your mother-in-law sounds a lot like my mother, LadyKaty. Maybe they should get together and go bowling!
It's good that your husband's got your back. I'm so grateful that my hubby sticks up for me to his mother and mine (which is mostly why she hates him).

December 7th, 2006, 04:11 AM
I think if they got together, they'd plot to destroy the world.....

And yes, that's why my MIL hates my DH, too. He stands up for our family, and she can't have that, oh no, it must be all about what she wants, not about what's best for the family.

Sun Sprite
December 8th, 2006, 06:02 PM
I actually get along worse with my mother in law now that we are married. Long story in itself, but am glad we don't see them often.

We actually see hubby's aunt more often than his mom, and she and I get along okay. I actually wish we had more of a chance to spend time with her, but a three hour drive one way is too far to go often.

As for my family, he has never met them, and never will if I can help it. Most aren't the type of people anyone wants to be around. The good ones, are so scared of the bad people, they would pass on info I don't want the bad ones to know. Sad, isn't it.

December 9th, 2006, 08:41 PM
I'm not sure where I stand with MIL, but I'm pretty sure it's on the negative side. She's super passive agressive...which bugs me to no end, if you have something to say to me....just frickin' say it...lol. She views me as disrespectful for some pretty odd reasons, and which I largly suspect are just ways of justifying her dislike for me.
Plus she blames me for the fact my husbands daughter is not living with us....and for the fact he 'abandoned' her when we moved back to Alberta. (looooooong story which I won't get into. I'll just say us moving back was the healthier option for me, my daughter, and my then unborn child...I would have left even if my husband wasn't coming. Issues with 'the ex'. 'nuff said)

Let's just say, we tolerate each other....lol.


December 10th, 2006, 11:29 AM
Ohhhh the MIL saga.....
This time, I am super lucky, she is wonderful, sweet, spoils me, and lives 800 miles away! cant get better than that....

I have earned it though, dearly...before her, I've had 2 evil MIL's. And I don't say it lightly.
Before I married my husband, I was in a relationship for 10 years, with the father of my son. His mother was a lying, trouble-making, judgemental, nasty woman. She lied about me so many times. The first time we met we had an argument... because she hates english people, (I'm english, in a French-Canadian province). She actually said to me that all english schools should be burned.... Then, I could do no right. She begged us to have a baby, she longed to be a grandmother. She actually was nice to me til I was convinced. After.... to her I was the worst mother ever. She imposed herself and her raising methods on me , and told me I sucked, everyday. When enough was enough and we had a blow-out, she said I "trapped" her son into having a baby... my idiot ex was the quiet type, so he never stood up to her. Never defended me. She lied to my ex that I was a skank and cheating on him, that men called me all the time... (yeah, my dad..) Many many other things happened during the 10 years we were together. She had a great help in the destruction of our relationship, just because he couldnt defend me and I had to be quiet.
I've gotten so deep in my hate for her, I actually wished her...very bad things... Thankfully that one is out of my life. And her son, fell in love with another English girl!! HAHAHAHA!!! And that one, DID trap him with a pregnancy 6 months into their courtship... ahhh karma....

I won't get into my first husband's mother. She was the spawn of Satan.

December 10th, 2006, 11:44 AM
My mother in law moved out to victoria (all the way from alberta!) the day she heard her son had jailbaite for a new girlfriend. Its been a nightmare ever since. 11 years later and she would still like to hire a hit man to kill me. :) I guess I just get under her skin like that ;)

LOL, she told me to **** off and die the other day-said she was taking me out of the will (everythings "or ill take you out of my will')...I usually reply by singing the song their comming to take me away ha ha...or telling her to watch her mouth,or Ill send her to a not so happy oldfolks home when she gets old.. she is so crazy that one day she will be spitting mad at me and the next shes like my best friend...its hard sometimes to deal with....reallly hard. At one point I almost left my hubby because I just couldnt handle her drama anylonger.

December 13th, 2006, 09:08 PM
I am lucky to have a mother in law that I get along with. We are alot alike and both Sag.. She is closer to me then my own mom. We have had two spats where I was upset and called her on it, one was about telling my brother in law about us getting a divorce when that was not her place and the other was a long while ago when she had was not to keen on us being pregnant... but I saw her reasons then for it.. but not bad for 9 years...:D And I just hope we can still have a good relationship after the divorce, so the kids can still go visit.

December 14th, 2006, 03:01 AM
My MIL or rather my ex-MIL, is really nice, as long as we donīt talk about my ex. She really wants to blame me for everything that went wrong between him and me. She knows that he is a idiot, but will never admit that to me. So no talking about my ex and everything is ok! and she lives 40km from me and thats probably a good thing:hahugh:

December 14th, 2006, 09:50 AM
My MIL and I tolerate each other. She's the kind of person that is nice to you, if it's going to get her something. I didn't really have much to do with her, as we lived in another state, but since we've moved to Virginia, she's only about 15 mins away. We've gotten into arguments twice since moving here, but luckily Hubby backed me up. He'd grown up with her, and knew her 'tricks'.

December 14th, 2006, 01:25 PM
I got along with my mother in law better than I got along with my wife! There was always beer in the fridge and food on the table. And even now since my wife and I are divorced, I'm told that she's always asking about me and wishes that I'd visit. I think that she wanted to keep me instead of her daughter! Ha!


December 14th, 2006, 02:21 PM
Some days, we get along fine. Today, I loathe her.

December 15th, 2006, 01:13 AM
My mother in law really had me fooled to start with...I thought she was really sweet and kind. She continues to act that way to my face. However, she seems to have a lot against me when I'm not in front of her, including the fact that I come from a family that isn't rich or prominent, that Preston and I moved in together two months before our wedding, and that we were honest enough to let her know about my faith because I was opening a metaphysical store and didn't want her to die of a heart attack when she heard it from somewhere else. She went insane and spent hours on the phone, telling Preston that if he signed the papers for my business, his name would be erased from the Lamb's Book of Life, that we had both lost our salvation and were going to hell, and that he needed to either "get [me] under control or get a divorce because his soul isn't worth this." She also told him that I was going to hell with "the gays and the Catholics." Needless to say, despite how nice she is to my face, we have very strained holiday dinners.

I'd almost rather she just yelled at my face so I could defend myself.

December 15th, 2006, 07:35 AM
I get along great with my mother in law. She treats me like and says that I'm just like one of her own daughters and has from the beginning. We had one silly falling out years and years ago and it was really nothing in the end.