Can someone help me?

[Silver Rose]

Hello,
I'm 18 and I've been Pagan for 3 years and I just got involved with someone last year who is from a strong Christian background. We love each other very much but he doesn't know that I'm Pagan. Is there any way that I can talk to him about my religion without him freaking out?

[Earth Walker]

It's hard to say how he will react, but you will know when the time is right to tell him.
I hope that it works out for you Sweetie. :sunny:

[bluecat]

:cool: First of all welcome to the Community. :cool:

Pull up one of Kaylara's comfy chair thingies and sip on some lemonade while I mull this one over, it's one of those things I call a minefield.

I do agree with Mystique though that it's hard to tell how he will react, but you will know when the time is right.

Blue

[Celtic_Angel]

Welcome friend!!! :sunny: I hope you like it here.

Blue is right, that is indeed quite a minefield!!! 18 is a rough year to begin with, I'm 18 too. :p I think Mystique pretty well took the cake though. Pray about it for guidance and keep your mind open. You never know where an answer will come from. :)

Until I can think up something more useful to say, I'll put on my thinking cap for ya and sit next to Blue on the comfy thingy.

Good luck my friend!!! :sunny:

C_A

[rantnraven]

Everybody scoot over and let me sit here with you on the couch/chair thingy here on the porch. Oh, and pass the lemonade please.

Welcome to our Community Silver Rose. Let's talk awhile.

The real question here, so far as I can tell, is this: How long can you live with hiding it from him? It's a tough call but sooner or later he will find out and that's when you step on that proverbial Landmine. BOOM!

Try the subtle approach, maybe. Ask him what he knows about Paganism - might tell him you ran into a web site about it and were curious what his thoughts are on the issue. That could give an idea of where to go from there.

Ultimately, true love - and I mean TRUE - should be able to see past the confines of something as simple as religion. Religion is in the mind, spirituality is of the heart.

The less subtle approach would be to build a huge alter in your house and invite him over for Sabbat :D

Hope I made some sense,

RnR

[bluecat]

:cool:Hats off to RnR!!!!!!!!! :cool:

Give him a BIG OL' GLASS and FLUFF HIS CUSHION! :)

RnR and Mystique must've cracked some kind of code here, cuz they both had better stuff than I could come up with!! :cool:

Blue :D

[rantnraven]

Originally posted by bluecat
:cool:Hats off to RnR!!!!!!!!! :cool:

Give him a BIG OL' GLASS and FLUFF HIS CUSHION! :)

RnR and Mystique must've cracked some kind of code here, cuz they both had better stuff than I could come up with!! :cool:

Blue :D

*Fluff fluff* Thank you

You provided the lemonade, Blue. What's this not worthy c@$p? This is a community. A team. And I would be more then happy pour you a fresh glass. ;)

RnR

[bluecat]

Originally posted by rantnraven


*Fluff fluff* Thank you

You provided the lemonade, Blue. What's this not worthy c@$p? This is a community. A team. And I would be more then happy pour you a fresh glass. ;)

RnR

Heh, just an old Wayne's World joke. :cool: no worries.

Thanks for the pour!

Blue :cool:

[Yvonne Belisle]

If he doesn't freak out at the thought of a pagan site you can say that it's funny but what they were saying makes sence...... tell him your feelings about the ideas and issues. If he doesn't get upset you can point out that there is a group of people that have the same beliefs and go from there. Good luck.

[Mariposa De La Luna]

To give you an even more cautious approach, start talking to him of nature, environmentalism, ancient mythology, Native American religions, Buhddism (sp? I know there is an h in there), meditation. General pagan topics. you know like "I read an article on such and such the other day. What do you think?" A good one would be that one in Seventeen by Brandi Black Bear.

oh yeah, where are my manners? I just spout out advice like your MIL would.

Welcome and merry meet! :sunny:

[Tigerwallah]

I totally argee with RnR. I've been in love so many times I can hardly count. Of course I believed, at the time, that each guy was "the one." Of course, I was mistaken because after they found out this or that about me, or I found out the other thing about them, it ended. I say you need to be true to yourself and tell him. If it ends, well he's done you a favor because it leaves you free to find the right one. If he accepts it, Yippee!!!!! You gotta know either way.

[rantnraven]

Originally posted by Tigerwallah
I totally argee with RnR. I've been in love so many times I can hardly count. Of course I believed, at the time, that each guy was "the one." Of course, I was mistaken because after they found out this or that about me, or I found out the other thing about them, it ended. I say you need to be true to yourself and tell him. If it ends, well he's done you a favor because it leaves you free to find the right one. If he accepts it, Yippee!!!!! You gotta know either way.

*fluff fluff*

Have some lemonade, darlin' and have seat with me. You are absolutley right, you have to know either way.
RnR

*cheers*

[Tigerwallah]

::wink wink::

[Red Dragon]

I strongly believe that honesty is the best policy. Sooner or later it will become an issue, and the sooner you get it out in the open with him the better. Spirituality is what we are, and recently I had to confront this as a choice between a relationship and my path. I luckily did not have to make that final choice, but there was never any question as to which way I'd have chosen. If this is the right person for you, then he will be understanding, if not, then you will know now rather than later. Trust in the powers, ask for guidance, and know they are with you and will ensure the right thing occurs. I hope this isn't too harsh and is of some help. :)

[rantnraven]

Originally posted by Tigerwallah
::wink wink::

Got some concentrate in the freezer but Blue just might complain about that. ;)

[SeekerSandy]

Let me pull up my old rocker (sorry, the couch is hard on my back) and pass around a bracer. Reality checks need a little stiffening.
My question is, is this relationship really love? Love involves acceptance and tolerance. If you are becoming soul mates, you should already have an inner understanding of your beau. If not, then be careful when breaching something as serious as religious beliefs. It may work out well and actually be the start of a long and happy relationship. Or, it might be an eye opener to you when you are met with intolerance and bigotry. If the worst happens, be grateful for learning one of life's tough lessons so early on.
Well, you guys drained my beaker, best move on.
Good luck, young one. Bright Blessings:elf:

[Sephiroth]

do not worry for worrys are wat makes bad things happen. u will know if he is right for u wen the time comes. if he truely cares and loves u he will except ur religion. and u. i was in love with a roman catholic but then she found out wat my religion was and all hell broke out because she tryed to convert me. but she was not right for me because of the anwser she gave me.

[Kiya]

When I met my soul-mate, it was while I was going through lots of changes. I had always been interested in pagan beliefs, not that I knew much about them, but my strongest pull was always towards nature, growing things and observing the rhythmic cycle of seasons. My darling man, a real city boy, came with me when I moved to the country, and very recently he has found a house for us literally miles from anywhere! His comment was, if I am at my happiest in the midst of nothing but trees and fields, then he would be there with me! He is not pagan, but his generous and loving heart allows me to be what I want to be because he loves me!

I am incredibly blessed to have found him, and just thinking about this has made me want to call him at work and tell him how much I love him.... of course, he'll call me a silly old thing, but I know it touches him.

My advice is be true to yourself, but don't try to force the issue... if there is a way of gently showing him that it's part of who you are, probably without mentioning the words wicca or pagan, then he may be able to accept it gradually. I'm full of energy today, so I'm in the mood to jump into things with both feet, so it may be best to ignore me..... :) :) :)

[Amora]

If he cannot accept your religious views then you probably don't need him anyway. If he is as strong a Christian as you say it could be the basis for some major arguments in the future. My advice is be true to yourself first...your ideal mate will accept and love you for who you are, not who they would like you to be.

Best of luck!:heartthro

[Silver Rose]

Thankyou all very much for the advice! I'm taking it one step at a time, bringing it up every time that I can. :)

I think that he's getting the hint.

Anyway thank you all very much.

I hope that the lemonade was okay :D

:heartthro
Blessings and lotsa love!
Silver Rose

[adrian]

RnR!!! Good to see you back on your feet guy! Really good!!!
Silver rose...It is up to you to decide but always remember this, in doing so will not be the end of the world, there are too many people out there for anyone to be discouraged by anything.
Whatever you do, do it for your well being and peace of mind.
Em Hotep (In peace)

[Elaine]

first of all merry meet and welcome...I hope you enjoy it here:)

My husband and I were married a little over a year before I actively became Wiccan.....at first I was afraid to tell him because he is VERY christian and VERY closeminded!! I started off slowly telling him "hey I saw this show and it was cool" stuff like that...then, one day...I felt that he was in a good mood and I brought it up to him....it was a very long discussion..and he was dissapointed because he thought we were on the same wavelength when it came to religion (we were both raised catholic) but he loves me and is behind me in whatever I do...since then, I don't speak about it much with him...just cuz whenever I do it's a discussion....but at least he knows how I feel and I know that he's ok with it and that he still loves me!! he even bought me a pentacle necklace to show me that he is behind me.....if you really love him...be true to yourself and let him know who you really are....if he doesn't accept you for who you are, it was not meant to be!! if he doesn't accept you for who you are....then he is definately not the guy for you!!

I know I was a little late in responding...but I felt I had to add my 2 cents!! Good luck!!:)

[Celtic_Angel]

Originally posted by adrian
RnR!!! Good to see you back on your feet guy! Really good!!!


Adrian, um, look again at the date on RnR's last post. ;) He's not back yet. :( Wish he was though. *sigh*

Silver Rose, I'm glad to hear that you've begun the process of telling your sweetheart. I wish you the best of luck sweetie! :heartthro

C_A

[adrian]

Thanks Celtic_Angel, i guess everyone can tell i miss the guy.

[Earth Walker]

Originally posted by adrian
Thanks Celtic_Angel, i guess everyone can tell i miss the guy.

We all miss RnR. Come back real soon brother. :)