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DoktorSick
December 5th, 2006, 03:56 AM
I didn't like the show Walker,Texas Ranger at first because at the time I didn't understand what the real meaning behind the show.Then i was watching lone wolf Mcquade and the power of "the roundhouse kick" came through the tv screen and enlighten me.The fact is that Chuck Norris is more dangerous without a gun then he is with one.In other words he carries a gun in walker,texas ranger so that people will live.

H.P. Dolamite
December 26th, 2006, 02:06 PM
http://i131.photobucket.com/albums/p320/DolamiteHP/Chuck.jpg

SidneyCozzoi
December 26th, 2006, 02:24 PM
:yayah:

Against The Tide
December 26th, 2006, 02:35 PM
Hehe, great thread.
He's my hero.

Malcolm
December 26th, 2006, 03:48 PM
I heard Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door...True Story.

CheshireEyes
December 27th, 2006, 12:27 AM
Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.

kismet
January 1st, 2007, 02:52 AM
Corn circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

Vincent Verthaine
January 1st, 2007, 07:15 AM
No offense to anyones beliefs here,but not only is Chuck Norris not in the same league as Bruce Lee,he's not even playing the same sport.

Bruce Lee would have made Norris his bitch,and everyone knows it.
If Bruce hadn't have died,Chuck would have been playing bit parts all his life,

Hell,Chuck Norris would get his ass kicked by Steven Segal,of all people.
Chuck Norris ain't shit compared to Bruce(yes,I am quite aware of Chuck's many achievements in MARTIAL ARTS competition.
If Bruce had did the competetive circuit,he'd blow Chuck away.




BRUCE LEE FOR EVER!!!!!!!!!

Don't hate me for telling the thruth.

Xirian
January 1st, 2007, 10:40 AM
I have a feeling that Chuck Norris could take Steven Segal out. As things stand now, I might even be able to take Steven Segal. He's not looking all that healthy right now.

It's interesting to note that Bob Barker, yes, TV's loveable "Price is Right" host, was a student of Chuck Norris and Pat Johnson for 21 years. I believe his quote was, "My body is a deadly weapon.....

it's killing me."

Faelon_Moon_Hawk
January 1st, 2007, 01:51 PM
There is no chin under chuck norris's beard, only another fist. (http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/) :boing:

Brightshores
January 1st, 2007, 01:56 PM
It's interesting to note that Bob Barker, yes, TV's loveable "Price is Right" host, was a student of Chuck Norris and Pat Johnson for 21 years. I believe his quote was, "My body is a deadly weapon.....
it's killing me."
I believe it. I too have seen "Happy Gilmore."
My vote is, however, for Jackie Chan - he combines a good sense of humor with some serious butt-kicking ability.

Nadezhda
January 11th, 2007, 10:58 PM
This thread is 'the gospel of Chuck Norris', not 'let's argue who is better.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head, while hitting Segel, Lee, and Chan. Simultaneously.

Xirian
January 12th, 2007, 01:57 AM
This thread is 'the gospel of Chuck Norris', not 'let's argue who is better.


Well, I don't see any arguing (even though no one said there couldn't be arguing), in this thread at all. People will have differing opinions and will question gospels, especially on a forum like this where people obviously have differing paths, viewpoints and (if) they have a mind of their own. So I don't really see a problem.

stella01904
April 9th, 2007, 11:39 AM
The fat guy from "Martial Law" could probably whip Chuck Norris.

But Walker was hilarious. I'm not sure whether it was intended to be, but it was.

Zurtok
April 9th, 2007, 05:18 PM
Bwahahahaha. Chuck Norris is many different kinds of funny.

Also: Eldora is HAWT.

Just saying.

zionwood
April 13th, 2007, 06:49 PM
I remember starting an "anti-Chuck Norris" group on Facebook just for the heck of it. (I don't really hate Chuck Norris.) But no one else joined, and i ended up deleting it because one of my friends didn't like it.

stella01904
April 19th, 2007, 11:09 AM
I like the theme song from Walker. Norris can't sing and the line "when you're in Texas look behind you, 'cause that's where the ranger's gonna be" inspires great buggering jokes.

_Banbha_
April 19th, 2007, 11:42 AM
Chuck Norris = Jesus???? (http://cr-chuckjesus.ytmnd.com/)

Amelserru_halqu
April 19th, 2007, 12:24 PM
That's the worst kind of blasphemy right there, Chuck Norris wouldn't allow those roman panzies to nail him down (unless of course Bruce Lee is actually roman, in which case Chuck is f***ed).

_Banbha_
April 19th, 2007, 12:45 PM
True Love (http://beautifull.ytmnd.com/)

EJ1096
April 20th, 2007, 05:09 AM
when Chuck Norris jumps into a pool, Chuck Norris dosent get wet. Water gets Chuck Norrised.

But ya I'll vote Bruce Lee.

Wolf O Volos
June 29th, 2007, 02:30 AM
OMFG... For a second, I had this horrible flashback, and thought I was in "Barrens Chat"



*for the Horde!*

DoktorSick
June 30th, 2007, 04:18 AM
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.


Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.

azrael1989
August 28th, 2007, 06:12 PM
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

Nitefalle
September 4th, 2007, 03:57 PM
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep....he waits.

When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail, his trail mates don't die from dyptheria....they die from round house kicks to the face.

IronSeraphim
September 4th, 2007, 06:31 PM
http://youtube.com/watch?v=JLO1YIWQuXE

This should solve the Chuck Norris/Bruce Lee debate. :) Yeah, it may be a movie, but it's probably a fairly accurate depiction of what would happen.

Juniper138
September 4th, 2007, 07:08 PM
lol Ive seen a thread like this but it was for Admiral Adama in Battle star Galactica (Re-imagined series)

When Chuck Norris says "let there be light" darkness runs away

Moonlite Faery
September 4th, 2007, 07:30 PM
OMFG... For a second, I had this horrible flashback, and thought I was in "Barrens Chat"



*for the Horde!*

Wolf, i love you, lols i thought wtfbbqsauce, its barrens all over again! ahhhhhhhhhhhh!

Miaerowyn Elennulda
September 10th, 2007, 12:27 AM
Hahaha!! I laughed so much reading this thread!! LOL!!

Jesus walked on water, Chuck Norris walked on Jesus.

DoktorSick
October 16th, 2007, 04:08 AM
Chuck Norris can get Blackjack with just one card.

Chuck Norris don't open no can of whoopass. He makes his own.

Brokeback Mountain" is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard