why dose this always have to happen to me?

[*~SilenT~*]

ok...my mom and dad both are in the whole Jesus thing...and they think i worship the devil *blah blah blah* anyway i wanted to put a alter in my room (my dad dont care, it's my mom) but my mom freaked out and put all my spell books and wiccan/pagan books in the trash (I only shaved one:( ) what should i do...should i hide my pagan ways till i turn 18 and move out or just hide them from the family.....what should i do

[Danustouch]

This is not an easy situation. I went through much the same thing, while I was living at home, my mother would not allow me to practice my religion. Luckily, I was already an adult..and could move out of their house. Is there a friends house that you can store your magickal possessions at? Where you can have access to them when you need them? Remember...to be a pagan, you don't necessarily "Need" the items on hand. The God and Goddess will understand, if the only way in which you can remember them, and honor them, is a quiet meditation in your bedroom, or, better yet, sitting in your back yard. If you have friends whom are understanding, and who you can gather with to discuss and study, that is wonderful...if not..don't worry..they will come. My advice to you is to follow your heart. But to try to get bye at home as best you can. As I said..the God and Goddess understand. They know your heart. And even if you have to concede to your parents wishes for now....they will understand and wait...

And if you need to rant, you can always come here :)

[Man/Wolf]

Thanks, DanusTouch! That is exactly what I wanted to say, but couldn't find the right words.

These are sound words, young'un! Your day will come soon enough. I know it doesn't seem like it will ever get here, but it will. Be patient and try to remember, even though it is difficult, your folks love you and just want what is best for you.

[shnen]

I don't even live with my parents... (25) and they still sorta think I believe in god... they know I don't do any of the god stuff, but they think it's still all about god. and they are penticostle.
It's too bad they can'e embrace your freedom and just let you be, what do you think is the best situation for you? Would you be better hiding it until you are of age? You should not feel bad if you do chose to do this. It's simply avaoiding unnecisary (sp?) anger and commotion... and you can still do it in private.
If you chose to continue strongly where they are concerned you know what you have to deal with... it's all a matter of what path you can handle best.

Either way you are in my thoughts *energy your way*:)

[Myst]

I'm with Danustouch too. When I moved into a non-Pagan-friendly home for awhile a friend made it clear that I was welcome to go come do Pagan stuff at her house. I'm sure I could've left my Pagan goodies there or at my parents' house too. Maybe you have a friend who could help you out? That really sucks tho, I'd have a fit if my mom did that!! Good luck

[Justin Wyatt]

I'm goin through the same thing right now, so i can understand how frustrating it can be,but most of the time people in school and other places are pretty cool about it. Just don't let it get to ya!

[*~SilenT~*]

thianks for all your help guys...im really happy that i have friends like you (that means you to) i will try to do the best i can...think a lot
*lostoflove*

[Jasmine Star]

Ugh how frustrating. I was really lucky my mum and dad accepted my decision really weel and have been really supportive. however when I was home a few days ago my sister started a drunken arguement about how ridiculous I was being- just because she has no faith in anything it doesn't mean that i can't. i hope you find somewhere to store some things.
Jasmine Star

[someone else]

well, i have that same thing going down in my house. i have to share a room with my baby brother (who is 14 and not really a baby, but hell always be my baby brother) who is just getting into the church that i just got out of. that church tells you that if its not jesus, its evil, and your going to hell, so, hes kinda a pain. due to this, i cant have and altar or anything, i have a few candles and books stashed in a drawer, but thats as much as i can get. do you live in a city, and, if so, how big is it and can you get out of town to a nice little place outdoors? once the snow thaws, im oging out into the Chippewa State Forest, which i am lucky enough to have in my back yard, and form a permanent altar there. ill keep my tools at home, and move them out when i need them. so yeah, look around, seek your surroundings, and let yourself be guided by your deity(s). and about hiding your choices, personaly, i dont. i dont flaunt the fact that im wiccan, i dont wear anythings that boldly yell "I AM PAGAN! HAHAHHA!" (at least not where others can see it). if asked, i tell people, (usually people from the church i used to go to) that no, my walk with jesus is not going well, i dont have one any longer, and if they push for it, i will say that yes, i am wiccan, and no, i dont worship satan. so yeah, im going to get of my soap box now, hope that you have some luck! Blessed Be!

[kblackthorne]

First, something I badly needed to be reminded of when I was 19:

You're still young.

This is not meant as a put-down... It simply means you have your whole life ahead of you. (Between the ages of 17 -20, I had a tendency to feel like my life was already over -- and already ruined by the adults around me. I FELT old. And I needed someone to remind me how much life I had left -- how many chances I still had to re-invent who I was.)

You're still young. You will not be in your parents' house forever. When you leave, you can replace everything your mom destroyed. Perhaps with things you like more, that suit you better. :) And you will have decades (hopefully many) to practice as you wish.


Now, as to the problem...

Well, I will second (third?) Danustouch's advice. The Gods do not need "props" to hear your prayers. They don't even need books.

The only thing they need is what's already in your heart -- and your mom can't throw that away.


-----

And a touch of advice on living with your folks, that you can heed or ignore, as it pleases you:

It might even be a good idea to study their religion for a while. I'm not saying "study" as in "believe". I'm saying "study" as in "learn about".

If you choose to remain Pagan, you're going to find yourself eventually trying to explain your choices to your folks in a way they can understand. (This is easier after you've moved out, and can go home to your own place at night, thus ending the converstation, and allowing time to pass before it comes up again.) But trust me on this one, understanding their beliefs as much as possible will help you in that.

You might even find some Christian material that you want to pass along to them! There's more to Christianity than the narrow brand I susspect they're familiar with. Might not hurt to broaden their perspective. (Yes, I'm subversive. And you can PM me if you'd like to talk about Christian theology -- this really isn't the place.)

Think of it as a reconaissance mission. :D

[Danustouch]

The only thing I would say about the last part, Kblackthorne, is I tried that "teaching my parents about Christianity" thing. If they're anything like MY parents, they don't want to be taught anything by one of "their kids".

[kblackthorne]

"So, Mom? I was reading this, and it seems to contradict what you were saying... Could you take a look at it when you get a chance, so we can talk about it? Tell me what you think?"

"So, Dad? I looked at that list you gave me. Then I was at the library, and I saw some other stuff listed with it. I just read this, and it's really interesting -- I think you would like it, too. Besides, I'm dying to talk about it with someone else who's read it."

To borrow a parable from Christianity -- spreading knowledge about these sorts of things is like spreading seed on the ground. A lot of them will fall on dry, hard ground, and nothing will come of it. But if even one manages to sprout...

And to expand the parable, some seeds take a long time to germinate. Years, sometimes. (And I can show you exactly where such seeds were planted in my once-narrow little brain -- and show you what they've grown into. It seldom happened fast enough for someone else to watch. But it happened.)


Yes, some adults have a "thing" about learning from kids. (See: my mom's boyfriend & driving a boat) That's why I didn't suggest trying to tell them anything -- just passing along material. Let the author teach them -- or not.

[Man/Wolf]

Good advice Katherine. Christianity isn't the pain in the ass, it is some christians and their intolerance. Jesus was a good man and preached tolerance and love. It is too bad that his teachings and beliefs have been distorted so badly.

[someone else]

wow, i totaly agree with man/wolf there with that one. jesus was a good guy, and in lots of parts the bible is pretty good. it has lots of good things to think on, moraly and such. as he said, the only thing that gets me is when the christian decides he/she is doing gods work, and stalk you, and threaten you, and then say they love you...(i get that one alot "Tad, your going to burn in hell...blah blah blah...hey man, love you bro!") they usualy do mean the best, but they just cant see through the veil of the thought that anything non-christian is evil. so yeah, i agree with whoever it was who said to read up on chrisitan stuff (sorry, didnt think to remember who you were...) to get a better understanding of christians. thats kinda how i got into wicca, i was trying to learn about wiccans to "save their souls" and started to realize that "hey, this stuff makes sence!" i instantly repented of my evil thoughts, and went on for a few months, but my eyes were opened, and i coudnt maintain my chrisitaninty. well, my computer time is up, so ill talk to you all later!

[kblackthorne]

Someone else,

Did you know that while you're posting, you can scroll down & see all the other posts? So you can quote, get names right, whatever. :)

Not taking offence or being sarcastic -- but I know how happy I was when I realized that... especially coming from a board where you couldn't! :)

[gunner]

i've been busy in the mundane world rather too much lately so i've missed a few things, including mme. blackthorne's joining us, from reading a few of her posts it looks as though she'll be an interesting member to hear from, hopefully often.

[kblackthorne]

Thanks for the compliments, Gunner. I'm but one of a hoard of newbies... many of whom came here en masse from another forum.

With so many people I know here (old friend & new), I actually tend to forget just how new I am to Mystic Wicks. :)