I need a reading please. Newbie.

[beckykemp]

Hi,

I am a newbie and need a reading. I keep pulling up the death card, justice reversed, hermit, the moon, strength reversed. You know, all the positive uplifting ones in the deck. Things have gone to __ lately and quickly. I have like four major major problems in my life right now. I don't know if I am supposed to like give one problem at a time (one question) or let it all hang out.

Anyway, I need to know if I can trust my boyfriend of 2 years, health, and just an overall future type forecast thing. I guess.

Thanks,

Becky
:p

[Myst]

Originally posted by beckykemp
I keep pulling up the death card, justice reversed, hermit, the moon, strength reversed.

Well in what readings are you doing that? What else are they surrounded by? What do they mean to you?

I have a strong feeling you can access what you need to know.

[beckykemp]

Right now I use Secret of Tarot V1.0 from www.devineworld.com.

This morning I pulled for 'Line of Life'
The Devil
Sun
Wheel of Fortune
Chariot
Lovers

I don't have my own set of cards but I go to certain sites and then I downloaded this software.

[Myst]

Ok I can't even find tarot on there.. what is "Line of Life"? Is it a kind of reading? What did you ask when you pulled those cards? If so, you might pull more cards to clarify the reading, asking more centered questions.. If you want you can try other free online tarot reading sites.. this one has several decks to choose from

http://www.facade.com/tarot/

[beckykemp]

This is said at the beginning before you run the tarot. It's located at www.devineworld.com and is called Secret About Tarot. I also got Secret about Runes from there free.

Line of life is reading of the Tarot cards defined by the name received at birth, which is a universal designation of personality, and the time of the consultant's birth. To calculate cards lying in the Line of Life we use numerical values of letters according to a very old tradition defined in Pythagorean Wheel alphabet. Participating in the Line of Life there are only the Trumps, the exceptionally broad symbolics of which can cover explanation of a life path in physical, mental, and metaphysical aspects. The first four cards correspond with personality (1), environment in which birth took place (2), life goals (3), and thoughts in mature age (4). The fifth card is the result of all data from the first four cards, being the outcome, result of the whole Line of Life.

This is what it says when you read each card.

Devil designates blind impetus, inconsiderate and irresistible forces, ambition, temptation, obsession; hard work, stubborness, rigidity, tearing dissatisfaction, suffering. Devil is connected with astral influences, black magic, and, deriving from that, evil intentions or mysterious temptation.

In reading/interpretations Sun is the symbol of glory, pride, gain, wealth, triumph, pleasure, enjoyment, sincerety, truth, however also of shamelessness, arrogance, vanity, discerning explanations. It signifies recovery from illness, however also of sudden death sometimes.

Wheel of Fortune , as a rule, speaks of change of luck, fortune (which usually means being favoured by the same, as the fact that advice has been sought understands in itself worry or dissatisfaction). Looking as a whole, it denotes luck, fortune in sense of fate; destiny

Chariot denotes triumph, victory, however also hope and memory. Triumph comes as a consequence of strength and great effort, combination of which leading to a maximum success. The card suggests it possible to attain great achievements when psychological and spiritual forces are well balanced.

LoversIn interpretative reading it can appear as designation of love, beauty, perfection, harmony, or unanimousness. It may indicate higher-quality temptations, as well as optimism and confidence. In emotional sense Lovers point to audacity, deep feelings, blindedness, being in love.

The way my life has been for the last 15 years and especially the last 2, the tarot is probably right.

Anyway, it is a pretty good program. I like that sight you sent me to. Thanks.

Check this artwork out that I attached.

[Flar's Freyja]

Originally posted by Myst


Well in what readings are you doing that? What else are they surrounded by? What do they mean to you?

I have a strong feeling you can access what you need to know.

So do I. Myst's question "What do they mean to you?" is important. Keep in mind that although you need to know the meanings of the cards, the insights you receive when you meditate on the images; i.e., the colors, what feelings the picture invokes in you, what is going on in the image can help you understand your reading, sometimes better than the book definitions.

[Myst]

Ok *I* know what each tarot card means.

I even can look it up in a book. :D

What I'm asking, is what do *you* think each one means? Again, you'll want to ask more questions with more centered topics. A "total life" reading may be fun, but it's not gonna give you detailed answers about anything. Take what you learn from it and say "ok, what part of my life does each card relate to? do any make sense for a certain part of my life? what does this mean to that aspect? what blocks are hindering me from getting better there? what can I do to help myself?".

You know the questions you want to ask, so ask them, each separately. Take the time to do reading(s) for each, and as Freyja said, consider the pictures, the colours, the objects, the people, the positions, etc. Personally, to me these personal thinks you pick up are way more important then any meaning in a book. See what you pick up from these things, and what they make you think of. You might also want to take time to meditate on each reading or even each card if it doesn't make sense.

You say "The way my life has been for the last 15 years and especially the last 2, the tarot is probably right", so it seems you already have the answers that seem right to you. What are you looking for now? How they influence your life? How you can change things? How you can grow? Ask the tarot for assistance, and do some meditation.

[beckykemp]

I think we might have a misunderstanding. I don't read tarot. I am not a clairvoyant or anything. I have just been interested for many years. I have been told that my intuition is of extremes and that I am a healer of some kind but I don't know what to do with that. My six year old daughter writes ISIS all over everything, I had to look it up just to find out what it was. Then when I found out and questioned her she said she had no idea what it was and that she just thinks and writes. ??

What I mean by the last 15 years, etc. is nobody can have as much bad luck, negativity, and trauma in one lifetime unless they are cursed or something. I was told that too. That somebody was putting dark negative clouds (or something like that) over me and had been for years.

I put what the program said in it because I don't know tarot and if every deck has the same cards or if the cards had the same meanings in every deck. Sorry. No offense intended.

So, I can't look at the cards and feel anything or pick up on this or that. I don't meditate either. I wish I could but my concentration has been haywire for years. Don't know how to fix it. Doctors don't either. I'm sick right now. I'm not sure how bad but it isn't looking to good. I have an apt the 19th of April to see an internalist. My ears nose and throat doctor told me I might end up at an oncologist but lets take it one apt at a time.

I personally feel that things are coming to an end. When I was in my teens, I had these visions or something. I don't know how to explain it but every one that I had came true except the last one and that one I am hoping is not coming now. It was of me laying in a hospital bed, I was covered with a sheet and I was sitting upright, my mom was there, but nobody else that I can remember. I remember my mom was really upset but I was unusually calm and somehow I woke up knowing that I was in the hospital dieing of something the doctors couldn't fix or stop and those were one of my last days. Sucky, huh? One good thing was I got to see my daughter when she was in her teens in one of them. She is beautiful. I haven't had a vision since that string of them. Oh well.

Sorry for the misunderstanding. Have a great Easter. :)

[Myst]

First, it seems to me you know you're sick, and since you know that, I don't know why you think you need a tarot reading. I actually get nothing from the cards you mentioned, especially since I can't see them and you can't read them, except that you know the answer you keep asking for. You know you're sick, and you're going to a doctor, as you should. The tarot aren't going to just tell you what's wrong with you or how sick you are, or if you're going to die. They're more or less used for highlighting relevant situations and feelings, not so much for giving straight yes or no answers or plotting your life. I can't say "yes this is the end", or "no it's not", from a tarot reading. Even the death card doesn't necessarily mean death.

Second, only you know your boyfriend. With tarot cards the better questions to ask would be "what problems do we have", "what should we work on", etc. I'm not sure what you really want to know about him at all, and even so, maybe you should concern yourself with getting better most of all.

Third, a lot of people have a hard time. It happens. Who knows why. I can't tell you and the tarot probably can't tell you for sure either.

Fourth, as far as the cards you pulled, ie. "death card, justice reversed, hermit, the moon, strength reversed " and in the other reading the devil, lovers, sun, wheel, etc. none of it really magically makes sense. All these cards are very different and could be read on many different levels, especially since you haven't really asked a clear, concise question. To me none of them together really say anything at all.

Fifth, if you post in Just Talk about your being sick, you will probably get welcomed with prayers and good wishes from members.

Sixth, while I don't exactly know what you want from a reading or feel that I should do one (it'll only repeat what I've said already), maybe someone else will notice this and offer a reading later (since it's a holiday weekend I'm sure people are busy). You might want to think about more specific questions you need answers too. You might also think about learning to meditate.

Seventh, if you want to know what to "do with that" you'll probably want to get started learning about Paganism (or Wicca, or whatever interests you), the beliefs and practices behind it, and practice learning techniques such as meditation, visualization, etc. (and most people have a hard time learning to meditate at first, often taking years to be able to do it well. It takes some practice and work as well as time). It might help you keep your mind off things to start learning if you're really interested. Then again you might not feel able to actually meditate right now, and then you could take time to learn about Paganism or whatever path you're interested in, theology, history, practices, beliefs, divination, herbcraft, etc.

[beckykemp]

I'm sorry I bothered you.

First, yes I know that I am sick and no I don't want the tarot to tell me what it is, if I am going to die, or when but I would like to know if I die in peace or if I am leaving stones unturned.

Second, yes I am the only one that knows my boyfriend but I was under the impression that the tarot could tell me if I was being played a fool, leaving my son of four months with somebody that can't take care of him, or if he is completely trustworthy. His priorities haven't been straight since I started getting sick and I want to make sure they get straight again later. It is pretty normal to worry about these things.

Third, I don't want your pity or snide remarks about "having a hard time". I'm dieing and am aloud to feel like shit about it and wander if I accomplished anything in my life or if I was paying karma back the whole time. Yes, everybody has a hard time but not everybody is dieing at 30 with absolutely nobody to leave her childred to.

Fourth, I repeat, I don't read tarot. I don't know the meanings of these cards and don't pick up anything from looking at them. I thought you did.

Fifth, no I don't want prayers and good wishes. I want peace of mind before I go. Not be one with myself or centered in meditation. I want to know that my kids are financially taken care of and that spiritually they will be ok.

Sixth, I don't want you to give me a reading seeing how it seems that I am supposed to know the answers to the cards, not you. Some examples to the meanings would be nice. Can you find that in a book.

Seventh, when I stated I don't know what to do with that, I was just stating something I was told and no I'm not going to waste my time 'years' on learning that or figuring out if I am really interested. I have been interested for years. I'm trying to do the things I didn't have time to do or just plain out didn't do for whatever reason. What I need is a true psychic or someone of that nature but impossible to find without paying for it.

So, yes you are right, you can't help me but it would have been nice for a little chance to be exposed to your great wealth of knowledge and compassion for life. You sound like you are more miserable than I am.

I apologize for wasting your precious time.

[tangerine]

I'll do a quick reading for you, since I'm putting off what I have to do today anyway. Let me just say that if you want peace of mind, you must find it in yourself. A "true psychic" can't give it to you, neither can the Tarot cards. They are truly just a tool to help us get in touch with what we know inside. I think what Myst was trying to tell you is that you have to read those interpretations of the cards and fit them into your situation. What do they mean to you?

Even though I've been reading cards for a very long time, I can't tell you whether or not your boyfriend is going to be trustworthy. Trustworthiness is something he has to prove to you, and you have to decide whether to accept it or not. I'm very sorry about what you're going through, but maybe some real counseling should be in order instead of searching for a psychic. Okay, here we go...I tend to be blunt in my readings, so if you don't like it, you shouldn't have asked. :D

Eight of Cups: You're leaving (or should be leaving) a situation that you felt wasn't right for you. You have felt depressed, stressed and uncertain. Now is the time to embark on a spiritual journey and spend some time with yourself. The answers to what you are looking for are within, and you need to go within to find them. There are no magic potions to help you, just trust in yourself. Your depression is affecting your health, consider seeing a doctor or counselor to help with that. You will get nowhere if you continue to mourn. In fact, it will only make things worse.

Knight of Swords: You must be prepared to assert yourself and take care of your own mental health and your son's well being. It's time to become brave and agressive, just like this knight charging into battle. I don't see an easy time with your boyfriend. Stop seeing yourself as a victim. Be agressive about your medical treatment, do lots of research and find out all you can. Don't fall into the "poor me" syndrome and focus on your illness...Try to find the best possible care you can and take comfort in the fact that you're being as proactive as possible.

King of Pentacles: Please try to find a professional to help you with matters. Doctors, lawyers, counselors, whatever you feel you need. You may not get the best medical news, but don't internalize these things. Talk about them to someone you trust, find yourself spiritually. You're feeling restless emotionally and you need to fix this before you move on.

So, to sum up, don't fall into that victim trap. I'm sure you're having a very hard time right now, but feeling like crap about what is happening is not going to help you. It's going to put you on the defensive and make you miserable. No, not everyone goes through this, but there ARE people that can help you with it. Find them. And look to yourself. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, bring yourself up from the depths, be strong, perservere. Even if you are dying at 30, you still need to learn the lessons that this life has for you, and it's up to you and only you to find out what those are. Hope this helped a bit.

[Dagda Moon~Lily]

Ouch. Misunderstandings are right. ;)

Hi Becky,

I'm sorry if you feel a bit alienated from this forum. I'm sure that wasn't the intent.

Explanations and advice.....
It's difficult to get a decent reading from a computer program, especially since I've noticed that only the Major Arcana are used. These cards deal with the major forces and influences in life. The Minor Arcana deal more with day to day events. The major's alone won't tell you the storyline of what's going on. ;) Even so, from the readings you have done, you said yourself that you can see how some of them relate to your circumstances. Remember the Major Arcana used for the Line of Life readings highlight aspects of you and what has occured. Sometimes the tarot can be really illusive and you have to 'feel' out the meanings and how they relate to you.

Many people that read tarot are not psychic or clairvoyant. They learned from books and use their insight to verbalize the story the Tarot has laid before them in the spread. The definitions given are a starting point and not all of the meanings of the card may apply to the reading. In fact, chances are only one meaning may apply......or none that are given by the person defining them. It would also depend if the card was upright or upsidedown (reversed) For an example, when you quoted the meaning of the sun, I have never seen it to mean sudden death or shamelessness. (which the author of that definition may see that, I don't) But that would be MY interpretations and my insights to the card. That is why it is so important to use your imagination and insight when looking at cards. If a color or object seems to stand out more in the picture than others, that is what is to be focused on. Example, the Sun card, If you *notice* the red flag more than anything else in the picture, then what does Red indicate to you? Hunger? Stability, Love?? and what does the flag mean to you? Patriotism? Home? Pride? If red indicated Stability to you and the flag represented home, than I would say your home life is stable and secure. Do you see what I mean? Though if the card was reversed and these items stood out, then an instable homelife would be indicated.....if those were YOUR interpretations of the symbolism. That's the beauty of Tarot, everyone sees and interprets it differently.

Decks can have many different images and meanings, even cards. There is a Traditional Tarot card format that most follow when creating the deck. 22 Major arcana, fool to world or Magician to fool....and 56 minor Arcana cards that include 16 court cards in the count. Sometimes the author of the deck will "rename" a card, but the meaning *may* essentially be the same. Definitions of the cards are ONLY the authors definitions, meaning its what the card means to the Author and not necessiarly to anyone else. That is why it is SO IMPORTANT that you draw your own conclusions at to what each card means and how it relates to the Position in the spread that it occupies. Tarot isn't a science, it's a way to connect with your inner self/higher self.

Unfortunately, tarot cards can't give all the answers that we would like them too, but then again, neither can a psychic. I went to a psychic many years ago. She told me that my husband and I would go our seperate ways, and indicated that *something* would happen to him and that was why we'd go our seperate ways. Well, NOTHING'S happened to him, he's still alive and kicking.....although we did go our seperate ways, it was because of me, not him. Psychics can only see so much, and not all the *information* they gleen is accurate. With every step we take and decision we make, we change our future. Somethings may happen and others may not. It's the risk of living.

My sister had horrible dreams and visions when she was a young teenager that she would be in a terrible car wreck and dye before she was 25 years old, with no children and no husband. She's now 29, married with 2 kids. So not all visions come true. She has had many that have come true, but that one has not. (Thank goodness!)

I had dreams and visions that some have come true, some have not. One that has not was that I had the HORRIBLE impending feeling that if I wasn't married young (before 25), I wouldn't have any children. I didn't have any visions of myself past the age of 29. I did marry young (23) and I did have a son then *saw* that I wouldn't have anymore children. I'm 30 almost 31 and I am pregnant again. So.....I'm thankful that I'm pregnant again because I've longed for it for over 10 years! Some come true, some don't. I feel my decisions along the way have influenced the outcome of my life....as well they should.

I'm sure you don't want my advice, but I'm willing to offer some suggestions. If you take my advice, that is fine, if not, that is your decision to make. ;)

Talk to your boyfriend. Sit down and let him know the feelings and fears you have and the concern you have about your children. Work out a solution if at all possible. I know it will be difficult. Maybe he's in denial and doesn't want to believe what you feel to be true. Just let him know how important it is for you to know that your child will be left in the best possible hands. ;)

May I ask how you know your dying? I know I would fight a feeling like that to the end. I wouldn't just lay down and take it. Don't get me wrong, I would take the necessiary precautions.....guardian for my child/ren after my demise, will etc. But I wouldn't cave. I'm not willing to let life beat me down like that. I don't think you should either sweetie! I would be afraid that I was inadvertantly talking myself into dying....you know? ....self fulfilling prophesy kind of thing. Energy does follow thought. ;) I'm not saying that it won't eventually happen, but stand and fight while you still can.





Fifth, no I don't want prayers and good wishes. I want peace of mind before I go. Not be one with myself or centered in meditation. I want to know that my kids are financially taken care of and that spiritually they will be ok.



This is more than understandable. I would want the same. But sometimes things are just beyond our control. We have to do the best we can now.....and hope for the best for the future of those we love more than anything.

Now, I feel I'm rambling. You don't have my pity....but I have light a candle for you. My prayer to the universe is that you find the peace of mind you are seeking. To you, I lend my courage and strength in coping with all you are experiencing, and to you, I give my compassion.

I'm not sure I've helped any, but I felt the need to respond to the posts here.

Bless you Becky.



~D

[Dagda Moon~Lily]

Thank you Tangerine for taking time out of your holiday to read for Becky. ;)

[tangerine]

Originally posted by Dagda Moon~Lily
Thank you Tangerine for taking time out of your holiday to read for Becky. ;)

It was my pleasure! I love to read and it kept me from cooking. ;)

Becky, I too have lit a candle for you, not out of pity but in the hopes that you find your peace! You have been handed a tough road, but you CAN get through it.

[Myst]

Misunderstanding is right, Dagda! Thanks ladies for clarifying some more.

Becky I don't pity you, I don't even know you. I thought you were looking for someone to help you do a reading and help you learn, so that's what I offered. And no I'm not miserable at all. These ladies have given great advice. I hope that reading was helpful for you, and that you take their advice to heart.

BB

[beckykemp]

Well, I know am because I was diagnosed with
- hyperparathyroidism
- hypercalcemia
- thyroiditis (benign thank god)
- pancreatis cancer (possibly, Internal doctor will find out)
- I weigh 95 lbs.

Depression and paranoid behavior are typical symptoms of hyperparathyroidism. My apologies. There is nothing doctors can help with that right now. I have to wait and see the internalist and have him find the primary malignancy sight. Usually in cases like mine they give 3-6 months. Maybe a year. I have been warned to prepare. I am trying my best to cope.

I have found the best of medical care, the best doctors, treatments so far, etc. Their is nothing I can do about the doctors right now for depression. The last thing any doctor would want to do is put me on an antidepressant. The hyperparathyroidism needs to get under control for that to stop. It is such a complicated process.

I am constant pain from the osteoblasts and the deterioration of the glands and muscles. When I have severe pain for a period of time I can literally watch myself disappear. It sucks.

Feeling sorry for myself, yes to a point. It depends what time of the day and what mood swing you catch me in. I try to control it the best I can.

There is only one thing that I am trying to accomplish the most before whatever happens happens and that is that my daughter (6 yrs old) does not go to my mother as guardian. I have recently filed charges with CPS against her for sexual and physical abuse. I want that completed and my daughter taken care mentally before its time but I doubt that will be possible. My mom stood by and helped me and William search for a year and a half for the perpetrator that my daughter wouldn't speak of. Finally, she speaks and we find out it was my mother. Nice, huh? She is already in play therapy and working that out. She doesn't know what is going on with me and I want to wait as long as I can so the blow isn't right with my mother and what is going on there.

Rambling on, thanks for your considerations and prayers, etc. I will stand up and fight for my life. I always have.

Thanks