Dumb, Dumber, Dumbest

[Earth Walker]

After three members of People Unlimited, a group that
believes its members can live forever simply by wishing it, died, spokesperson Beryl Gregory defended the
group's credibility by explaining that the three deceased
members hadn't lived forever because they didn't believe hard enough.

To test the stereotype of German willingness to obey
orders, students at the University of Trier in the
Rhineland-Palatinate put signs on two phone booths
near campus. One said MEN ONLY and the other
WOMEN ONLY. Of the 69 people observed using the
phones, almost all the women and 75% of the men
obeyed the signs.

Police in Springfield, Massachusetts, said that the man
they arrested for chopping at that city's famed bronze
statue, The Puritan, with a hatchet, was under the
false impression that it was made out of copper, which he was hoping to sell for scrap.

Canadian ambulance driver Arthur Russell had to be
rescued just six hours after he set out to row across
the Atlantic Ocean in a homemade boat. Russell's only
experience at sea had been one time when he rode on
a ferry, although he had practiced for his maiden voyage
for two years, using a rowing machine in his house.

Explaining his car crash to a Munich court, a motorist
said that he took his hands off the wheel because, "I
wanted to know, so I let go and asked: 'God, can you
drive?' "

Police and paramedics in Lakeland, Florida, rescued a
33-year-old man trapped in a motel swimming pool.
They reported that "his pants were down to his knees
and his penis was stuck in a suction hole."
Paramedics inserted a lubricant around the suction
fitting, and after about forty minutes were able to
free him.

Missouri State Police investigating reports of a man
changing out of women's clothes outside the Hatton
fireworks stand located the suspect. He explained that
he was on his way home and wanted to go into the
store but didn't know if it was okay to enter dressed
in women's clothes.

A U.S. Army Gulf War veteran entitled to a cheque from
the government for $183.69, instead received
$836,939.19 due to a computer error. Charged with
spending the money and filing a false tax return, the
man argued that it was a gift from God, as it came to him after an incident in which he paused on a lonely
road at night and prayed to God for the means to be
self-sufficient.

8O 8O 8O

[Amora]

unbelievable...yet classic.

[Xois]

LOL

those were good

[Earth Walker]

In 1990, the Customs Service launched six helium-filled balloons equipped with surveillance equipment to detect
drug smuggling along the Mexican border. The balloons
cost $90 million to build and $30 million to operate
during the 30 months in which agents seized only 3,000
pounds of marijuana and nine weapons. Even though
this works out to $40,000 for each pound of marijuana
seized, Sen. dennis DeConcini, D-Arizona, defended the
program by pointing out that the low numbers prove the
balloons are deterring smuggling activity.

The Fort Worth, Texas, City Council authorized a program using federal funds to pay local gang members
$5 an hour to work as antiviolence counselors.

A jumbo-sized poisonous plant bred in the Soviet Union
and brought to Poland in the 1970's is spreading like
wildfire across that country. Dubbed "Stalin's revenge,"
the plant towers up to 13 feet tall with leaves the size of
open umbrellas. Authorities reported that growing numbers of people are coming to hospitals with skin
burns caused by touching the plant, some severe enough to leave scars. The plant was devised by biologists during Stalin's reign to use as cattle feed.
Cows who were fed the plant did produce richer milk,
but it also turned out to be bitter.

When officials in Wellington, New Zealand, applied for a
building permit for a new police station, they discovered
that the city's new building code required that all prisoners must have immediate access to an exit in case
of fire. "It means that if you have to put prisoners behind lock and key," Regional Commander Murray Jackson said, "you have to give them a key so they can get out."

The Army acknowledged in 1994 that during the cold
war, scientists, curious how easy it would be for enemies to spoil the nation's meat supply, concluded that the best way to find out was for them to sneak up
on cows and spray them with deodorant.

The El Paso, Texas, City Council voted to spend $112,000 to hire a private security firm to guard the
city's police station.

[Neek]

Originally posted by Mystique
.
When officials in Wellington, New Zealand, applied for a
building permit for a new police station, they discovered
that the city's new building code required that all prisoners must have immediate access to an exit in case
of fire. "It means that if you have to put prisoners behind lock and key," Regional Commander Murray Jackson said, "you have to give them a key so they can get out."




This sounds like a true story to me! The beaurocrats here astound me!

BB
Neek
:eek:

[Ozymandias]

Oh what fools these mortals be.

[gunner]

no worries neek, i think we get ours from the same shop.

hiring "rent-a-cops" to guard the el paso cop shop?? how many guys and girls have they got hanging around that place with guns on their belts?

and lakeland fla., what was it i said about guys hiding their pickle damm near anywhere? some of us ain't even real bright about it. q.e.d.

[Earth Walker]

These are true stories. The books are by John J. Kohut
& Roland Sweet; Dumb, Dumber, Dumbest and
More Dumb, Dumber, Dumbest.

Did you see my post, Strange Tails? By Kohut & Sweet.