Help I'm lost. Am I new or am I old?

[BlueFaerieRose]

Hello everyone and Blessed Be!

I guess I'm stuck in between. Help please.

My name is Meg and I'm not sure what is going on with my religion. I have studied Wicca on and off for 3 years, praticing visualization and meditation, creating OS's over and over again, choosng names, studing online,reading books, but I have actually never casted a circle or a spell. The one I did do was I had the potion beginning, the altar laid and then I realized that I had no matches. Lol.

I might be scared or I may just be lazy. Cunninghams circle casting is just way too elaborate but they are all that way.

I'm not sure what I shoud knowbefore I dedicate myself to the Craft and I feel that, well I don't undstand how some people can just retain so much information.

I don't understand how people can memorize every single Tarot card in the deck, I only know the Major Arcana.

I would love any and all advice I can get.

I'm not sure if I know enough to be considered no longer a newbie.

I definitely new to the forum but I love it here and I just hope that I can enter these already made circles of frendsand make some new ones as well. I'm slightly rambling now, so I'll go.
~ Meg

[Myst]

Well for one thing I don't know anyone who's memorized the meanings of every card in a tarot deck. Usually people start taking their own meanings and understandings from each card rather then remembering book meanings.

For another, yes Wicca tends to be somewhat ceremonial. Why didn't you go get the matches? :) Anyway you don't have to cast spells to be Wiccan. That'd be one big misconception. You might do Sabbat rituals, say, but there's nothing wrong with writing it down and using a paper to prompt yourself, or just totally improvising as you go. You don't have to follow a ritual out of a book at all. And hey if you don't feel comfortable casting circles or doing elaborate rituals, don't. That doesn't make you less of a Wiccan.

And I don't think many people memorize a lot of anything. Wildchild might, say, remember a lot of herbal correspondences because she's really into herbcraft and gardening. Dagda Moon Lily might remember what a lot of cards mean to her because she really likes tarot reading. But there's no need for you to memorize a whole bunch of stuff at all. There's always books and sites available to act as references. :)

[TheTempestuous1]

OH MY GOD! You scare me!! It's like you were pretending to be me when you wrote that lol! My name is Meghan and a lot of my friends call me Meg, I have wanted to be an archaeologist since I was 6 and I too have been studying the whole pagan (thought about wicca, but I'm liking general pagan more..) scene for the past 3 years or so, but have never really been one for rituals. I think we need to hang out! lol See you around sometime Meg!

[Haedis]

When I was Wiccan I was never one for the elaborate rituals either. I usually just took the parts of the rituals that I liked and added my own words (improvised) and that worked really well for me. It was as complicated or simple as I wanted, and I felt more connected to what I was doing.

Good luck! :)

[Flar's Freyja]

I agree with Myst - it is a major misconception that all wiccans cast spells all the time. This is something I only do when I have the time or a really urgent need. The rest of the time I spend most of my days focusing on communication with my guides and the goddess. I read a lot my first year and learned a lot but I've learned the most from hanging out with other Pagans. I'm blessed to live in an area where there are lots of gatherings and informational groups. With study and exposure to information, you'll figure out that you can do magick any time you want. The magick IS the witch - ritual and tools are wonderful enhancements but when it comes down to it, you are the most important tool.

Just take your time, there is no rush to choose a specific tradition or path. I started with Wicca, am involved in Native American spirituality, have recently become drawn to the Norse and runes.....and I use it all. Although I've been around for a while now, there are always going to be aspects that I'm new to. Always learning, and I like it that way;)