Becoming a Police Spouse

[Prinsazz]

My other half got his joining date for the Police here in kent today- not the month we were looking for so it is a bit stressful but still. I have finally resigned myself to the fact now that he will be a proper copper instead of just the special constable(like a volunteer cop) he is at the moment.

Can anyone give me advice about being the other half of a cop? I am kinda worried that I am going to lose all the time we get together- and I support him 100% there is no doubt of that and I will support him no matter what.

Am just a little afraid of what he is going to be doing and how he is going to cope and therefore how I am going to cope with him. I kinda know what to expect from it as he is already doing quite a bit of police work at the moment.

Is it wrong to feel like I am going to lose him to his badge? I feel a bit selfish for thinking that but I have to share this life with him, and I want to be with him too. I am so glad we will have been together for nearly three years when he goes in, and we know each other so well

Any advice or experience would be great. Thanks for letting me rant my worries

Sarah

[Mama J]

Hey,
I know what you are going through, though not where you are. I live in the US and my huband became or rather was a cop when we met. I admire how much he wants to do this for a living, but I am scared spitless that one day I will get cops at my front door bringing with them the news that he is gone (sorry that doesn't help.) :(

I think you need to find other cops wifes and hook up with them. Also, it took me a while to get this, but live your life when he isn't home and don't wait for him to get home either. Do things that make you happy without him. I know it sounds bad sorta but when I did those things it kept my mind off of what he was doing and that he wasn't home yet. (Yeah, him always being late was hard for me too, I always always thought something bad had happened to him.) Sorry I really can't help you more, all I can say is to find things or people that make you happy while he's out.

P.S. Whatever you do don't make him feel bad for leaving and ALWAYS ALWAYS tell each other how much you mean to each other before he goes to work. I know again this isn't really going to help but if you tell him before he goes to work and something does happen, you'll always know that that was the last thing you ever said to him and not something horrible.

[Prinsazz]

No really that does help because it shows me that at least in what I am thinking I am not alone! I try not to wait for him to come home, and it doesnt bother me during the day when he is out because there is a lot I can do with my friends, its only at night.

Thankyou so much for replying and really it does help. I have joined a couple of forums for police wives, but there really isnt a lot in the UK, maybe I found a niche in the market!!! Its just all new to me, when at the moment he can choose when he wants to be out and when he joins properly it will be different

Thanks again
Sarah

[Mama J]

Your very welcome Sarah!!
You know you always have MW too. I am sure that there is more than just me married to a cop on here. I am glad to hear that you don't wait for him to come home. I would have to agree night time was the worst for me too. I am glad that you've found a few people over there to connect with.
You have my info feel free to PM anytime if you need to. I am up most nights until 2-3am Central Standard Time, in the US.

~Mama J :)