Spirituality and balance?

[getoffmyskittle]

Okay, utter newbie here, so forgive me if I... uh... sound like an idiot?

My mom is really into Eastern/Yogic spirituality and ideas, and I've sort of skimmed over some of the material she has lying around. I'm not terribly into it, because I think it glosses over the idea of balance. Actually, I think most major religions gloss over the idea of balance. The things my mom has talk a lot about bliss and love and light. Christianity/Islam/Judaism reject "evil" and "darkness."

Basically, the pervading idea seems to be that everyone should be happy all the time.

But, from what I've seen, the world doesn't work that way... and I don't work that way. I believe that both love and hate have to be experienced before either one can be felt fully, that (for ME) constant happiness would just settle into apathy... basically, to be hugely cliched, that there is no day without night. I go through phases where I feel like the world is just this awesome place and everything is wonderful, and I go through phases where I stop sleeping and think all the time. It's not debilitating, and it doesn't seem wrong to me. The only "wrongness" I feel about it is... well... the idea that everyone should be happy all the time.

So, what are your thoughts about this? Is such a balance (mentally and spiritually, which for me is essentially the same) necessary to you? And if you choose to reject the "darker side" of things, why is that?

[inkywitch]

I love Yoga. I think the balance in yoga talks about is energy balance within yourself, which makes you centered and calm, yet alert. Not so much balance as a general whole.

Balance is necessary for me. I see positivity being born for negative experience. Both are needed to grow as a person and as a spirit. Whilst I would love to feel lovely and happy all the time... it wouldn't be very productive. No challenges to overcome, and not much to learn. I think that in itself would lead me to feel unhappy, and unfulfilled.

Anger, Sadness... these things are tools for growing. They're also needed to know Happiness. I try to embrace the darker side of life, because I yearn to learn. I yearn to overcome my shortcoming, my fears and grow as a person, and become stronger. I do this for myself, and so I can teach others after me (my children) to be good, strong people, so that eventually, the world will change and become a better, healthier place.

[Vigdisdotter]

My version of "balance" tends to piss people off :P

To me, balance isn't' a static state but a constant readjustment as new situations and ideas occur. A good example is a eco-system. When a species dies off (for whatever reason) the entire system has to shift to compensate, but a new balance IS there, even if it's different from what was had previously.

The only time there is a lack of balance is when there is NOTHING left. And this works for people too. I'll use the example of a drug addict. As long as said drug addict is alive, they have the opportunity to effect the balance of their life. It's only when they are dead that the balance is lost.

Balance need not be optimal to exist.

If that makes any sense at all :P

[Xirian]

I believe that some Eastern religious philosophies are about balance. I think that many people tend to focus on only the things you mentioned your mother focused on, which I don't really see anything wrong with that, but I think the point can be missed if one does that.

I believe the idea may be that there must be balance in one's self in order to help free others from imbalance or in order to create a oneness with other entities, and not actually cause harm to them by being out of balance with yourself and inflicting others with that imbalance, making it more difficult for them to become or remain balanced, if that makes sense.

Imbalance being the things that cause us more problems than our body, mind and spirit can handle and still behave, manuever, react in the most efficient way. Many Eastern religions understand there will be obstacles to face and instead of getting caught up in those and simply reacting without thinking, they tend to teach a person to recognize that those obstacles are there, understand our feelings about them and then figure out if you are going to respond and if responding is going to help the situation or cause us to waste energy that can be used for something more useful. Not to ignore hate, and anger and jealousy, and only think about happiness, love etc... But realize that those feelings are there and then respond in the most appropriate and efficient way to become more balanced with the universe.

The idea of simply reacting to a situation just because we always react that way, is not a balanced way to react to situations. It's an over-reaction.

When something goes wrong, the first thing we may do is freak out about it and throw a fit, but it accomplishes nothing to do that, except make us feel better for a short period of time. I believe the idea is that you should strive to feel better and be in balance so that our bodies will constantly feel better but not only physically, but in regards to our universal energy. So that our energy is at it's most beneficial for other things around us.

Most people are interested in feeling better on a whole. Holistic medicine comes to mind. Once your entire bodily and mental systems are in balance, then your body can work in the most efficient way, the way that it was meant to be working and you aren't draining other entities because your body is healthy and you will exude healthy energy.

I think that can be said for some Eastern religions. The thought seems to be to seek out the habits that help you function most efficiently, and simply recognize the ones that don't help us function properly, which would make for a completely balanced body, mind and spirit. Not that everything should be love and light. It is many times painful to understand ourselves enough to gain complete balance, and takes people lifetime(s) to do this, and still it may not be attained.

Okay, so anyone that disagrees with my assessment and opinions, please speak up. I don't want to be misleading anyone here.

[RainInanna]

I'm wondering if this is because you have really just skimmed some of the writings, just because in general Eastern philosophies in fact *don't* emphasize just the positive. Or maybe the particular sources she's picked are incomplete. I would just hate for you to get the wrong impression from misinformation.

Anyway, yes I feel balance is important, but that said balance is an ongoing interplay of energies. I realize I've spent my time on the "dark" stuff, so yes I do focus on the "light" things recently. It's not that I disregard negative things, just that I try to focus more on the positive. It's good to recognize the necessity of both.

[inkywitch]

My version of "balance" tends to piss people off :P

To me, balance isn't' a static state but a constant readjustment as new situations and ideas occur. A good example is a eco-system. When a species dies off (for whatever reason) the entire system has to shift to compensate, but a new balance IS there, even if it's different from what was had previously.

The only time there is a lack of balance is when there is NOTHING left. And this works for people too. I'll use the example of a drug addict. As long as said drug addict is alive, they have the opportunity to effect the balance of their life. It's only when they are dead that the balance is lost.

Balance need not be optimal to exist.

If that makes any sense at all :P

Thats it! Spiritual Homeostasis! This is also how I think of balance.

Does anyone think of balance as static? That seems very illogical to me.

[Xirian]

But, from what I've seen, the world doesn't work that way... and I don't work that way. I believe that both love and hate have to be experienced before either one can be felt fully, that (for ME) constant happiness would just settle into apathy... basically, to be hugely cliched, that there is no day without night.
This is something that always bothers me. The idea that because someone is interested in making positive changes in their lives or enjoy being happy, that they obviously must be supressing their anger or that they aren't completely experiencing all aspects of their personality, good or bad.

That just isn't the case, IMO. A person's behavior or reaction to a situation, does not mean that they are supressing anything. Perhaps, they understand that yelling and screaming isn't useful to them anymore, but it doesn't mean that they don't recognize that they are angry. You can still experience anger, without acting like a complete fool, by acting out.

[getoffmyskittle]

Thanks for the replies so far.

inkywitch, the thing about balance within yourself makes sense, I hadn't even really thought of it that way.

Vigdisdotter, your idea of balance makes sense as well. The only thing I'd disagree with would be that "nothing left" = physical death.

Xirian, thank you for that explanation. I know I've said "that makes sense" a couple times already - but that makes sense! :lol:

RainInanna, yes, I HAVE only skimmed, and I'm certainly not claiming to really have much knowledge at all of what Eastern philosophies teach. My original post wasn't clear enough - I meant to say that what I saw was what made me start thinking of the whole balance issue, not that I think the idea doesn't exist at all within that philosophy.

What I'm trying to get at is that so much of this stuff is geared toward self-help, which is all well and good, except "self-help spirituality" seems to push the idea that if you're not happy, there's something wrong... which just doesn't really work well for *me.*

ETA: Ahh, you snuck in on me! Xirian, I wasn't meaning to say that at all. I certainly don't have a problem with positive changes - I'm trying to make them as well. I don't think it's right to act in a way that is clearly dictated by emotions and not your rational mind. The only issue I'm really talking about is the idea that "if I feel sad, there's something wrong with me" and "my religion/spirituality should make me happy all the time" - because that is an idea I come across on a pretty regular basis.

[Xirian]

Thats it! Spiritual Homeostasis! This is also how I think of balance.

Does anyone think of balance as static? That seems very illogical to me.
I think it's impossible for balance to be static. It's like being on a tightwire. If you are static and rigid, you will fall. If you continue to adjust to your environment, you will most likely make it all the way across.

[Xirian]

What I'm trying to get at is that so much of this stuff is geared toward self-help, which is all well and good, except "self-help spirituality" seems to push the idea that if you're not happy, there's something wrong... which just doesn't really work well for *me.*
I think that most of the time when someone isn't happy, they and others feel there is something wrong. It might not be something wrong with them personally, but it isn't balanced. There will always be times when a person is off balance, in either direction. Someone who's too happy all the time is off balance and soon they will be unhappy, because of something. Complete bliss is unbalanced, but complete depression and saddness is as well. I think being content is the best way to be. You still are able to experience all aspects of your feelings, but there isn't that completely drastic change from sadness to happiness, should something be thrown off balance.

Extreme highs and lows are not balanced, they are many times signs of something more serious. A person who has consistent, but not extreme highs and lows is a person that is probably more in control of themselves and is probably someone that recognizes minor fluctuatios are normal.

It's late, so if I'm not making any sense, please just say so.

ETA: Ahh, you snuck in on me! Xirian, I wasn't meaning to say that at all. I certainly don't have a problem with positive changes - I'm trying to make them as well. I don't think it's right to act in a way that is clearly dictated by emotions and not your rational mind. The only issue I'm really talking about is the idea that "if I feel sad, there's something wrong with me" and "my religion/spirituality should make me happy all the time" - because that is an idea I come across on a pretty regular basis.
I see what you're saying. Sometimes, it is a sign that something is wrong and sometimes it isn't. I think it depends on how extreme the situation is.

I personally believe that my spirituality is about comforting me. However, this doesn't mean that the things that I encounter will be comforting and happy and wonderful. It just means that I enjoy learning about my spirituality and am willing to understand and experience things that I fear or don't understand, to keep that comfort. If I ignored all the things that I was afraid of, I'd never learn and that isn't comfortable to me and doesn't make me happy. I think our spiritual selves are there to help us be content or happy, but that doesn't mean that the journey is without its discomforts.

[getoffmyskittle]

I think that most of the time when someone isn't happy, they and others feel there is something wrong. It might not be something wrong with them personally, but it isn't balanced. There will always be times when a person is off balance, in either direction. Someone who's too happy all the time is off balance and soon they will be unhappy, because of something. Complete bliss is unbalanced, but complete depression and saddness is as well. I think being content is the best way to be. You still are able to experience all aspects of your feelings, but there isn't that completely drastic change from sadness to happiness, should something be thrown off balance.

Yep, I agree with you totally.

It's late, so if I'm not making any sense, please just say so.

No, you're making total sense!

[Vigdisdotter]

Spiritual Homeostasis!

Awesome term :) I like it.

[Vigdisdotter]

The only thing I'd disagree with would be that "nothing left" = physical death.

Why is that? :)