Pre-school, to do it or not?

[seapearls]

I hope you all feel this fits here. Our oldest daughter Loralie just turned 4 on Saturday and before moving to Guam she was not in pre-school. Well at the time both girls were in daycare because I had briefly gone back to work but before that she just stayed home with me.

Anyway, we arrived in Guam Sept 2006 and that's when we started her in pre-school for the 1st time and since she just turned 4, she won't make the cutoff for kindergarten next year so she'd be in pre-school another year. But I'm seriously re thinking it, for one they told us her education level is beyond what their doing there and the rest of the kids so she's getting bored. And we all know when they get bored they start getting into trouble. Other then that the only other problems are that she's being picked on some and we'd love to save the money. Then theres 1 other kid for sure there that is a bad influence on her. We used to be friends with her mother but I've stopped associating with her and I notice bad things Loralie had picked up from her daughter.

I just want some thoughts and opinions on once the cession ends in May, keeping her home with Brianna and I next year. And the following year when Loralie starts kindergarten I'll keep Brianna home instead of doing preschool too.

I'm undecided if I want to do homeschooling when it's time for Loralie to start kindergarten, I want to get thru this 1st, we'll see.

[Tanya]

my daughter is turning 4 in a few weeks and just started pre-school. She's almost reading so I know she's probably not being terribly challenged, yet i hope she's being challenged in ways I don't.... socially for instance.. since my youngin is 12 years younger than her half brother, she kinda NEEDS to be picked on, she need to learn how to stand up for herself, make her own judgements about what is right and wrong.. etc etc...

if you feel pre-school ins't the place for that, maybe join a play group or swimming or dancing classes... something to shake up the paradigm a bit..

[Cat]

I'm not a fan of preschool. But group activities are a great idea and will expose them to other kids, semi-structured activities, and cool new subjects.

[Faol-chù]

Hi, Seapearls...

A situation like this with our family is truly something that contributed to our decision to homeschool.

My daughter was in pre-school for 2 years. Her birthday is in October, and she started in September just before she turned 3. (I was expecting my son at the time, and thought it would be good for her to have some exposure to other kids to kind of help deal with the situation change.)

She was not quite 5 when she started kindergarten. She turned 5 in the October after she started. I could not, though, see putting her in pre-school for a 3rd year. We had her tested by the school, and they determined she was mature enough to handle kindergarden, so we put her in.

She did great, academically in kindergarden...better than most in her class. She even did great academically in first grade---again, better than most in her class. BUT--(there's always one of those!)..While I put my daughter into kindergarden, for all practical purposes, a "year early", it was (and still is) commonplace for many parents to hold their children back for an extra year...

She was absolutely the youngest child in the class...And she was nearly 2 full years younger than some of them. AND IT DID SHOW! She was awed by those kids, for the simple fact that they were more 'sophisticated' than her, socially, and they definitely took advantage of it. I would not say they "bullied" her--at least not any more than anyone else, but there were definitely able to influence her in a way that I do not believe they could have, had she been more their age.

I could not see holding her back a year--because--after all, she WAS doing better academically than MOST of the kids.

There were other factors that contributed to our decision to homeschool, but that was a BIGGIE.

You could always go ahead and put her in and see how it goes, and then deal with misgivings at a later date...:)
But keeping her out won't hurt her, either...whether it's just for another year, or whether it's forever...:)

Le meas,

[Sun Sprite]

While kids do need exposure to others, and learning to stand up for oneself seems great, you have to watch with bullies. Once a child becomes a victim of a bully, it is unlikely they will ever break from it, especially if they stay in the same social circle. In order to break a bully, it tends to take another bully, or someone stronger to teach the bully manners. A younger kid is not likely to do so, unless you want them to become a bully to.

There is a fine line between standing up to a bully, and backing them down, and becoming a bully one's self.

Statistics show: Most cops were bullied most of their childhood. I won't go into details about how many go bad, and become bullies, I will just say, most good cops, don't stay in it very long.

Whatever you do, teach her in an environment without out and out bullies. A little teasing may be normal, but it isn't nice, and she needs to know ways she feels comfortable with stopping it. If the kids are biugger or iolder, she will not be comfortable.

Best wishes

[Lyrien]

My daughter's birthday is in November and she has always been very advanced for her age. (full sentences by first bday) Where we lived (rural Missouri) they would not allow her to enter kindergarten until after she had turned 5 and she must start on the first day of school, she was ready long before that.

I enrolled her into a 3 hr per day, 3 times per week preschool so that she could have interaction with other kids her age. At 3, they put her in the last preschool class they had prior to kindergarten because that is where she was academically and socially. She ended up taking this preschool class for two and a half years; the same thing over and over.

Now, I lived in an area where there were no options for kid interaction other than preschool, therefore, that was the entire reason for allowing her to repeat preschool4 for two and a half years. We did not have issues with bullying or any sort of negative influence, or I would have yanked her out very quickly. So, if your child is being picked on and/or the money is tight, by all means keep her home.

I eventually sent her to public school when the state said it was time (rolls eyes) and battled with every teacher from k-3rd at finding ways to keep her challenged. All was fine till the third grade, there is a big change that happens there. I now homeschool her because the school just doesn't have any options for her any more. While technically she's in forth grade, she tests at 8th in most areas and 12th in others. Skipping a grade still wouldn't solve the problem.

Umm...sidetracked.

Anyhow, keeping her home from preschool won't hurt her academically; apparently you are doing something right. The question you have before you 'is keeping her in preschool hurting her socially?'

[halfwaynowhere]

you might want to see if the school can test her so she can advance ahead into kindergarten instead of staying in preschool. My sister and I never went to preschool, my sister spent one month in kindergarten when she was 5, and then was bumped up to first grade because she was advanced. the school didn't even bother putting me in kindergarten, and i went to first grade when i was 5. So maybe your school can do something similar... It might be worth trying, because she will be bored in preschool if she's already ahead... good luck!

[Willow Rosette]

I kinda have two opinions on this. My first one is I know for my daughter she thrives in pre school. For awhile I took her out and put her in a cheaper day care and she was miserable, more temper tantrums, potty accidents, everything. As soon as I put her back into pre school everything calmed down and her behavior got back to normal. So as the mother of a 4 year old I absolutly believe in preschool for my daughter.

My second opinion is The mother always knows best. I think you should follow your gut honey. I think children absolutly need interaction with other kids of there mental leval but if she isnt being challanged and the interaction with the other kids isnt a postive then maybe keeping her home and teaching her yourself is a better option. If I had the ability I would absolutly home school Victoria and just enroll her in outside activities but unfortunately I cant.

You might want to look at the school system itself there in Guam. Is it up to the standard you want for your daughter? I dont know anything about their educational system but it is something to take into consideration when thinking of home schooling.

But honey more than anything follow your intuition. You were blessed with it for this exact reason. :hugz:

[seapearls]

Hey thanks for all these replies. It's morning here and I'm about to take Loralie to pre-school so I'll respond to these as soon as I get back.

[seapearls]

my daughter is turning 4 in a few weeks and just started pre-school. She's almost reading so I know she's probably not being terribly challenged, yet i hope she's being challenged in ways I don't.... socially for instance.. since my youngin is 12 years younger than her half brother, she kinda NEEDS to be picked on, she need to learn how to stand up for herself, make her own judgements about what is right and wrong.. etc etc...

if you feel pre-school ins't the place for that, maybe join a play group or swimming or dancing classes... something to shake up the paradigm a bit..

Well I will clarify what I meant by picked on, she has been bitten, hit with a spoon at snack time and yesterday when I picked her up she said she was hit with a plate by a boy at the play kitchen. All by other children ofcourse, her teachers are very nice.

Hi, Seapearls...

She did great, academically in kindergarden...better than most in her class. She even did great academically in first grade---again, better than most in her class. BUT--(there's always one of those!)..While I put my daughter into kindergarden, for all practical purposes, a "year early", it was (and still is) commonplace for many parents to hold their children back for an extra year...

She was absolutely the youngest child in the class...And she was nearly 2 full years younger than some of them. AND IT DID SHOW! She was awed by those kids, for the simple fact that they were more 'sophisticated' than her, socially, and they definitely took advantage of it. I would not say they "bullied" her--at least not any more than anyone else, but there were definitely able to influence her in a way that I do not believe they could have, had she been more their age.

I could not see holding her back a year--because--after all, she WAS doing better academically than MOST of the kids.

There were other factors that contributed to our decision to homeschool, but that was a BIGGIE.

You could always go ahead and put her in and see how it goes, and then deal with misgivings at a later date...:)
But keeping her out won't hurt her, either...whether it's just for another year, or whether it's forever...:)

Le meas,

Thanks, We could get her tested but I wasn't thinking that far ahead yet. My b-day is Oct also and so I missed the cut off by a few weeks but they let me start anyways so I was kind of early too.



Statistics show: Most cops were bullied most of their childhood. I won't go into details about how many go bad, and become bullies, I will just say, most good cops, don't stay in it very long.

Whatever you do, teach her in an environment without out and out bullies. A little teasing may be normal, but it isn't nice, and she needs to know ways she feels comfortable with stopping it. If the kids are biugger or iolder, she will not be comfortable.

Best wishes

How funny, I will admit I was bullied in middleschool and I became a cop. lol Yeah I think she's starting to get hesitant about going to pre school.


I enrolled her into a 3 hr per day, 3 times per week preschool so that she could have interaction with other kids her age.

Anyhow, keeping her home from preschool won't hurt her academically; apparently you are doing something right. The question you have before you 'is keeping her in preschool hurting her socially?'

This is what I looked into thismorning, my nextdoor neighbor does that same hourly schedule so I got a sheet on it to read and there are 3 spots open. She does 8:30 am - 11:30 am M,W,F and I think we'd like that schedule too. The Enrichment class she's in now (at the base CDC) doesn't let out until 14 June and I don't want her in it that much longer. So if we switch her to this other class it'll cut the price in half too. Monica next door says Juan learns all sort of stuff in there too so she likes his class and says the teachers a strict. lol Yeah you have to be strict our kids are military brats. lol

Yeah we could find a decent daycare anywhere near us in Missouri. They were all crap.

you might want to see if the school can test her so she can advance ahead into kindergarten instead of staying in preschool. My sister and I never went to preschool, my sister spent one month in kindergarten when she was 5, and then was bumped up to first grade because she was advanced. the school didn't even bother putting me in kindergarten, and i went to first grade when i was 5. So maybe your school can do something similar... It might be worth trying, because she will be bored in preschool if she's already ahead... good luck!

My husband will discuss it but I don't think he'll like that idea.


My second opinion is The mother always knows best. I think you should follow your gut honey. I think children absolutly need interaction with other kids of there mental leval but if she isnt being challanged and the interaction with the other kids isnt a postive then maybe keeping her home and teaching her yourself is a better option. If I had the ability I would absolutly home school Victoria and just enroll her in outside activities but unfortunately I cant.

You might want to look at the school system itself there in Guam. Is it up to the standard you want for your daughter? I dont know anything about their educational system but it is something to take into consideration when thinking of home schooling.

But honey more than anything follow your intuition. You were blessed with it for this exact reason. :hugz:

I will only be at home while we're stationed here because I'm working on a Bachelors degree but after we PCS again in 2 1/2 yrs I'm going back to work so I so far don't plan on homeschooling the kids once they start kindergarten.

Our kids are going to be starting school at the elementary school on base and they are good schools I've heard. I may so sub some there after I finish my degree if we still have time left here. The school system on the rest of Guam are as corrupt as the government here. The best schools on teh entire island are the ones on the Navy and our Air Frprce base and only military dependants are allowed to attend. As for people off base, a friend of mine says you either home school or your kids are beaten up every day. She homeschools her 2 kids.

[ladyalpha]

I agree with everyone, follow your instincts. If you decide to not have her in pre-school, perhaps you can find something at your local library where she can go and hang out with other kids. So she can get socialization that way, and other things in your area that are set up for children.
I did not put any of my kids in pre-school, much to the detriment of those I know. Apparently I was/am just killing my kids by not putting them in. lol But academically my girls were, and still are, advanced. My son learns at his own pace so we are waiting to see if we will need to homeschool him or not, as he may change his personal style by the time he is old enough to attend school. Socially, all my children have done well even without being put in a "school" setting before a certain age. I believe children should socialize with other kids their own ages, but I also believe it is important for them to be around adults and older children. They, imo, learn how to interact at different levels and in different situations. Any bullying though definitly must be stopped as soon as it is seen. Although I believe that bullies should not be labled as bad but rather should have someone take the time to find out why they are acting the way they are and try to fix that problem.

Oh, my girls also went to school a year later than other kids due to their birthdays (Jan. and Oct.). My son is the only one out of the three that will be able to get in before their cut off dates, but I plan on holding him back an extra year anyway. My middle child did not attend kindergarten at a public school, rather we homeschooled her that year. My oldest had a chance of being advanced a grade last year but we turned it down. Now where we are living they do not offer that and both kids are making A's and A+'s and bored. But they are getting special things for their achievements and they are happy overall.

I am sure that if you decide to keep her out she will be fine. She obviously is getting the attention she needs or she wouldn't know all that she does. And there are many ways to give her the socialization that she needs without having to go somewhere that she is bored or learning negative things.
And if you so choose to keep her in, I would make sure that she learns different ways to handle children that may not be acting nicely or giving her the right idea of how to behaive. Which will help her later in life also.

[Willow Rosette]

Its been awhile since I have been on so I had forgotten why you went to guam, just that you were excited to go. I think youhave found the answer to your own question in this new school, but I am kinda supprised you have to pay for pre school on a base. I guess I kinda assumed things like that would be covered. Good luck on the new school.

[seapearls]

I agree with everyone, follow your instincts. If you decide to not have her in pre-school, perhaps you can find something at your local library where she can go and hang out with other kids. So she can get socialization that way, and other things in your area that are set up for children.


I showed the peprwork to my husband and we agree to take her out of the enrichment class, due to the 2 week notice thing she will be in it two more weeks because it is paid for. So she starts her new class 3 days a week around the 1st of March.

Its been awhile since I have been on so I had forgotten why you went to guam, just that you were excited to go. I think youhave found the answer to your own question in this new school, but I am kinda supprised you have to pay for pre school on a base. I guess I kinda assumed things like that would be covered. Good luck on the new school.

The new class is also in the CDC and yes the military charges us for all care. It's according to how much you make too not a flat price usually but this new class is a flat price. On base CDC's are usually more expensive than offbase care. Yep just one of the many false assumptions people have.

[Willow Rosette]

Im totally shocked it would cost more. I pay $525 and on my income that is very tight. I know the military isnt a high paid job. Why would they charge more?
The new class is also in the CDC and yes the military charges us for all care. It's according to how much you make too not a flat price usually but this new class is a flat price. On base CDC's are usually more expensive than offbase care. Yep just one of the many false assumptions people have.

[seapearls]

Im totally shocked it would cost more. I pay $525 and on my income that is very tight. I know the military isnt a high paid job. Why would they charge more?

That's something everyone would like to know.

[Ceres]

There is absolutely no evidence that preschool is helpful to children socially or academically in the long run. Its totally your call. If you want some reading material on the subject, I recommend something by David Elkind.

[seapearls]

Thanks Radikalwomyn, I may do some searches on the issue myself.

We already submitted the paper/2 week notice to pull her out of her current class, her last day in it is next Friday and the following Monday (5 March) she starts her new 3 days a week morning play group. It's only $29 a week.

I know she gets bored at home so I don't want to take her out completely. Time away from Mommy is good for Loralie, Brianna on the otherhand would hate it.